((The Previous: Part 2))

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Damn it. Damn it! “Damn IT!” His curse echoed in the room even as Aeaea climbed off the bed and ordered him to take her home. “Just wait a ******** minute will you!” He was confused and hurt and wasn’t really sure what the hell just happened. “Let's rewind here and get some s**t aired the ******** out because I want to know just what the hell just happened.” Part of Hav wanted to do just what she wished but the more adult part of his brain knew that that would just be a form of running away. He was currently facing a problem and the only way to get it cleared up would be to actually figure out what was going on. “Let's go back a bit to your comment about wanting to be wanted,” His face which had lost the rosy blush flamed once more, but this time he kept eye contact. He just couldn’t help but swallow nervously even as he asked, “What did you mean by that?” Hav honestly wasn’t even sure himself if he wanted an answer, or what he would do with it if she did provide one.


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The outbursts caused Aeaea to literally jump. It scared the life out of her because Hav...no Quinn hardly ever exploded. Truly demanding answers especially when it came to..."Quinn." Screw the powered name. She was talking to the man she grew up with. The boy she had been with through so much in their lives and the reason she had ever considered coming...back. Home was not the word. There was a long sigh as she finally turned around completely, her resolve appearing as the woman she truly was. Aeaea was hurt but if this was how he was going to be the she could be just as...forceful. crossing her arms under her chest, she closed her eyes "Just what the heck do you THINK I meant." Aeaea shot back, her arms throwing open to the sides as her eyes went wide. "You are dense but I have never known you to be truly stupid. Do I really have to spell it out for you?"


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“Yes! Yes you do because the way I see it you drop a bombshell like that on me and then try to walk the ******** away. NO! Hell no! That happened to me once and I sure as s**t won’t have it happen again!” He might have started off thinking only of Rae, of Aeaea’s comment, but somehow it also morphed a bit into how his last relationship ended. Without any real understanding. Frustrated and needing to move Hav climbed off the bed on the other side, so they literally had the bed between them now. “Damn it Rae. What do you want me to say? That your hot? That you’ve been hot since that summer when we were kids and puberty smacked the ******** out of me but apparently licked you up like a damn ice cream cone? That you’ve always been cute but now you're ********? Is that it?” He started to just pace around as he ranted, never turning the corner of the bed though. Safer if there was distance. “We grew up together! The last thing I want to do is hurt you! Explain it to me Rae because I sure as s**t don’t get it.”


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Had he stayed seated. Had he stayed on the bed looking up at her asking with that all too familiar look just what in the hell was she thinking, Aeaea might have given into the blush. She might have even given in and kissed him just to hit her point home. Giving it life, putting it into words, all of that was something she had kept from doing because she knew once she did, if he didn't first, it might just break her in half when he left. But now all of that was gone and she was left with only the boiling anger at him...at herself. "No. That is NOT what i want." She snapped back, her hands slamming down on the bed sending feathers flying into the air. "For God sakes Quinn. If I wanted comments on my appearance I would go to a ******** bar." She felt the tears down her face before she even realized she was crying. "How have you not ******** noticed? All I ever wanted was for you to see me as more. More than you bloody sister." She pushed off the bed, hands still swinging. "I've kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to lose you in my ******** life but it's getting harder and harder now to stay and realize that I will be nothing more than that. So don't you dare compare me to your ex." Jabbing a finger at him, she was fighting not to start sobbing. "There, said. You happy now you idiot? It's out in the open and I can't take it back."


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He flinched more from her tears then from her words. Maybe a part of him always knew that she liked him but he never really thought anything of it. Couldn’t think anything of it. Especially not after she returned to smack some sense into him. Not when he was fighting in this endless war and she had no idea… Even now. Could he face her with the blood on his hands? Did he have a choice? The idea of her waltzing out of his life again hurt especially since he knew if she left she wouldn’t come back this time. “No, I’m not happy!” He ranted right back at her, not sure how to handle the tears so falling back on anger to keep from just scooping her up and holding her to stop the sadness. “If you think I just want you to walk away then you really are the idiot here. What exactly do you want me to say? That your my best friend? The person I’m closest to? The one that I think of first? The only one that I want to turn to when I need to talk? There is no one closer!” He took a few aborted steps closer to her before he quickly backed away again. “Damn it Rae! Your more than a sister to me but,” Hav stared at his own hands before turning away from her, “I’m no good for you. You deserve someone better. Someone who hasn’t done the things I have. Seen the things I have.”


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Jerking her eyes away from him, Aeaea couldn't understand it. Even listening to him speak then felt like daggers to her heart. She wanted to walk away because she knew she COULDN'T take back those words. Even if he managed to pull off acting like this never happened, the question was, could she? No. She couldn't. Using the palm of her hand, she brushed at the tears she could feel rolling down her face. Picking up her head, she glanced not at him but his back. Part of her so badly wanted to cross the room and wrap her arms around him. To show him just how much she meant what she said. But she fear his walls. She feared being shut out. She feared..."If you can't let me be the judge of that for myself," Aeaea started, her eyes fighting back the ever growing tears as her words began to shake. "Then what more do we have to discuss..." Her words were shaking. Her rage was gone. She was terrified. This wasn't a normal fight with him where they would just end in name calling. If this kept going.


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He could hear them. He could hear the tears and the sadness and her general unhappiness and it hurt. It hurt to know he caused it. He wanted to send her back, send her back to Earth and he remain behind so he didn’t have to see her tears. He didn’t have to deal with it that way. Didn’t have to feel the pain, the hurt. But that would just be the coward’s way out… a way he really didn’t want to take but was looking better and better with every passing second. But if he let it go now there wouldn’t be a second time. He would literally be quitting the conversation, the discussion, and quite possibly their entire history and friendship. Not able to face that idea he pulled a move that only a Knight was able to pull off, or any strong magical fighter, he spun on his heel and strode over to Rae too grab her in a bear hug. All in one fast move, not really giving her a chance to do anything about it. “Please don’t go,” He said quietly while holding her close. “Please don’t leave me. You deserve better but I don’t think I can live without you somehow in my life.” He still didn’t think he deserved her, she really could do so much better, but he didn’t want her to leave.


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Her entire body froze. If you asked, she would claim even her heart stopped in that moment as she felt his arms wrap around her. His words made her world halt in place. Slowly life began to return one hard breath at a time. The tears once more flowing freely. "You idiot." She mumbled as her head rested on his arm. He didn't run away. He didn't send her away. He...he held her close and it was all she could do to stay standing. Even as she felt the warmth against her bare skin, she couldn't believe it. "I...I don't even know where I am." The words cracked as she felt a horrible, sobbing laughter start. God she was pathetic.


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“No, nononono. Don’t cry, please don’t cry!” He held her closer as she sort of gave a sobbing sound. “Yes, yes I’m an idiot. I’ve always been an idiot. Please don’t cry. Here let’s sit down.” Hav didn’t handle tears well but it was worse when it was Rae crying since she never cried. Not really. And it was even worse because he knew he was the cause of them. Both the ones now and the ones before. So he did the only thing he could think of now that he was just holding her, he sat down on the edge of the feather covered bed and tucked her onto his lap, keeping her close. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please! It hurts to see you cry. I’m the worst. I’m stupid and horrible and the absolute worst.” He rocked a bit and grasped for things to say, just babbling. “I’m just a dumb boy who doesn’t know anything. A nincompoop. Everyone thinks so.”


((The Final: Part 4))