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[obtained] Kianna Kinge // Senshi of Crocodiles 🐊

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chi honda

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:18 am


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Name: Kianna kinge (adopted last name)

Nickname: Sport Demon, Tomboy, and more to come

Age: 14

Birthday: August 20th

Sign: Leo

Gemstone: Peridot

Blood Type: O-

Fav. Food: Chicken Fingers and French Fries - I mean their perfectly delicious!

Hated Food: Cauliflower - No fun at all and so bland!

School: Meadowview High School (Co-Ed)

Hobbies:

Basketball - Ever heard of a freshman who could kick your butt in basketball. Well you met her. She will go out. Boy or girl. Doesn't really matter. When she's on the court and has that ball in her hand. Her only goal is to get that shot and make it down the court. Just don't get in her way. That's why she is feared on the court by kids of all ages. She even got the nickname demon.

Track and Field - She loves to run and with this sport she can do just that. Letting out her energy and competing on the field with all ages. Though it's normally her and a bunch of guys. Though who cares she knows she'll beat um. teammates or not. After all she's been doing it since she was little. When she's running she feels like she's flying at a speed and the world can barely keep up. That's why she is always on the move and never wants to slow down.

Virtues:

Competitive - She pride herself on being competitive in every single sport. Maybe a little too competitive. She feels like if you want to play a sport you need to be as good as all opponent's be them male or female. She could careless. You offer her a challenge though and you better watch out. Since she will not say no. This is a good thing - since it has made her strong and resilient. She will never back down and the word no thanks to this is just not in her vocabulary.

Intuitive Her intuition is very noteworthy, and she can question a single act down to the point where it can be answered with simple responses. She is someone who senses things about people and their surroundings and their experiences that are not so evident to more β€œnormal” people. Not many people see this part of her but it helps make decisions on so many things and help others find out things they may not have known before she told them.

Flaws:

Out spoken -- While most would say speaking up is a good thing. Not so much for her. She is more like the rebel in the classroom. If you bring up a point that she disagree's with she will definitely let you know. She has no filter. This has gotten her in her fair share of trouble. Making girls and guys a like avoid her or in some cases even fear her. Her motto - You can't keep me quiet.

Independent- Now for most this wouldn't be a problem, but for her. Well that was a whole other story. Since Due to her independence she didn't really work well with others. Not because she didn't want to, but she just lost sight of them when it came to her. Be it in track or in the class room. The goal was to win and she didn't need help getting there. In her eyes she had everything she needed in herself.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: See art.

Hair: See art.

Face: See art.

Clothes: See art.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:20 am


Senshi: Sailor Ametkhan , Senshi of Crocodiles 🐊

Challenge: Just like the Phoenix I will always rise again!

Fuku Colour: cc
Main Color: cc
Secondary Color: cc

Fuku:

Whole Character outfit is CC.
Just have fun and make her wild.


Attacks: These are your senshi's abilities, which will be used in battle. These abilities correspond to your senshi's element. Think of it as a "summary" of what your senshi can do in one word.

Sailor Scout Attack: Crocodilian Ninja - Attack!
The Sailor creates an ethereal crocodile that stalks one target and seems to come out of nowhere and bite them (as if it were lurking underwater and then strikes) players can feel the sensation of teeth/biting as the crocodile attacks their being. This attack lasts for 25 seconds and can be used 3 times.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Rise - my Crocodilian Minions!
The Sailor creates two ethereal crocodiles this time. They stalk one target, and the crocodiles work as a team, as they seem to come out of nowhere and bite the opponent. (as if they were lurking underwater and then striking) Players can feel the sensation of teeth/biting and might even get whacked by a tail. This attack lasts for 30 seconds and can be used twice.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Wrath of the Nile
Every enemy in a 15-foot radius suddenly feels as though they've been submerged in an illusion of being waist-deep in Nile River water and they can't see anything in the darkness, and then ethereal crocodiles attack them. Feeling the sensation of teeth/biting, tail whacking, and sensation of drowning. The opponent has entered their grasp. Then after 45 seconds, they get spit back out. This attack can be used once.

chi honda

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chi honda

Adorable Dreamer

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:58 pm


so stuck on attacks once again xD but rest is done as of now. just not sure if my sphere would step on any toes being japanese paper art. ^^'
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2018 5:38 pm


Hello Chi!!

You've asked for some crit, so I'm here to provide <3

First off, there are already two players with the last name of "King" so unless you receive permission from them to share the name, you'll have to find a new surname for Kianna. Alternatively, you could always go with an alternative form, like "Kinge" (according to wiki, it's an obsolete spelling of "king" ).

She seems like a very sports oriented person. While her current two hobbies are fine, are there any hobbies she likes to do during her down time?

Her virtues and flaws are currently unbalanced. You'll need to either remove one flaw or add another virtue to have them be a balanced set.

Competitive can certainly be a virtue but not because it makes her "strong". Strong would be considered a physical trait and not a personality trait - maybe being competitive is a good thing because it helps nurtures a need to be better? That it drives her as a person to succeed and do the very best she can?

I'm not sure I completely understand the first sentence in your Intuitive virtue. Intuition is (according to google) the "ability to acquire knowledge without proof, evidence, or conscious reasoning, or without understanding how the knowledge was acquired." So it sounds like Kianna has a good gut instinct when it comes to trying to read people and situations around her. I think adding some examples may help strengthen your description; does she sense when others may be feeling low? Maybe she's quick to catch on when there's tension in a room and therefore is able to help de-escalate a situation before it gets out of hand?

Independent is generally considered to be a good thing. It looks like Kianna prefers to be a lone wolf/do it herself kind of girl and refuses to rely on other people. Being too independent can make someone self-obsessed and anti-social as they strive to be self-sufficient. I would elaborate a little more on how being too independent hurts her social life/relationships to make it stand out more as a flaw.

Her Facade flaw is slightly confusing to read and I would need more elaboration as to why this would be a character flaw for her. Why is she sad? Why has she decided to hide this sadness? Why decide to fake a personality to others? As this particular flaw doesn't seem to mesh with her other flaws/virtues very well, you may want to consider doing away with it entirely to balance out the number of virtues and flaws you already have.


As far as her powered side goes, we already have a senshi of paper in play as well as the senshi of origami. I see that Karakami came around in 710AD so it would be an old enough sphere but your powers and how you interpret the art would give us more insight on whether or not you're toe-stepping on the other spheres. Since you haven't decided on her powers yet, I cannot let you know if it's infringing on the others or not. I suggest glancing at how the other two (Sailor Echo and Sailor Mintaka) have written their magics to ensure there's no conflict.


You are welcome to PM me if you have any questions or would like to go over anything! Otherwise, when you're ready for Kianna to be stamped, please post again in the Acquired thread and a mod will be happy to officially review her for a stamp.

Thank you! <3


Ghouliboo


Feral Cat


chi honda

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2022 9:15 pm


So happy I found this and will be updating tonight. thank you for your critique and hopefully i can figure out a powered side tonight or tomorrow. ^_^
PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2022 3:18 pm


chi honda


Looks good to me, have fun! Good luck winning the powered slot! (And just for transparency, Crocodiles is valid as a sphere because all 18 species in the family don't meet the naming mechanic criteria to be a sphere and I'm happy to explain this if anyone sees this and has any plant or animal related sphere questions!)

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