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 Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 7:57 am
prompt The power’s out! On a cold day like today this is the absolute last thing you needed. But, despite how beautiful that ice on the wires is, it does not make for a friendly day filled with warmth and electronics! But, there should be trucks coming out soon to fix the issues, how do you cope with the slowly creeping chill? Are you the type to snuggle up with someone you care about and huddle down to keep warm? Or are you the type to get the heck out until it’s warm enough to once more inhabit your dwelling?
And with that all done, Shiloh could allow himself to rest, which meant focusing on a little bit of school work on that Christmas Eve. Even if the semester was over, didn't mean he would allow himself to slack off. Even he had dreams of being something more than a janitor... Atleast sometimes.
Everything seemed so perfect, when all of a sudden that telltale click echoed through the house, and in the next second, darkness engulfed the once cheery home. At first, Shiloh's chest tightened, fear creeping in as it so loved to do, and brief memories of Halloween came crawling in, making fake sounds echo out in the darkness. The house was old, yes, and it groaned and creaked at the sudden loss of warmth and electricity, but it truly wasn't anything out of the ordinary. And.. Well, at least he had already started the fire, so the darkness wasn't as harsh as it could be.
Instead of dwelling on that lonely feeling that was beginning to take it's hold with the lack of music and heat, Shiloh pulled out his phone and sent Alexei a message before curling back up, maybe this time a little closer to the fire than he had been before.
The power's gone out. Everything's okay though, the oven is still warm and I already lit the fire... I hope you come home soon, I miss you... It's quiet without you... Had that maybe been too much? There were things on his mind, words he wanted to say to the other when he finally returned home, but maybe he was being too hopeful, allowing his feelings to peek out through his messages.
Or maybe he was just overthinking things.
Alexei was an observant man, so much so that Shiloh was certain that anything he was trying to hide would have been called out on which, while nerve wrecking, always did seem to come out better in the end. Rather than fret for it, he'd wait for the Judge to come home and go from there.
Yeah... He liked that idea.
wc: 500Kyuseisha no Hikari Rearranged what was going on so this counted as a point, and took the first part of the RP to be used as a solo biggrin You can read it... Here!
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:43 am
Long days at work were common for Alexei; regardless of the season or any encroaching holidays, he always prioritized his work.
And Shiloh.
When he received the text message, he was already on his way home; he had left early with intent to stop by the store and pick a few things up before he messaged Shiloh to let him know he was on his way, but as fate would have it the power went out just after he checked out. He lingered for a few moments, listening to the banter of the other customers and employees. Apparently, the power was dropping in large parts of the city and Alexei knew his luck wasn’t so good that his house, very snugly set in a district that was specifically mentioned to have lost power, would have been spared.
The confirmation was disappointing, but expected. Thankfully, the generators running the gates were still functioning, so Alexei didn’t have to abandon his car out front and jump the fence to get in. He parked the car, grabbed the bag, and stepped inside. He could immediately tell that the heat was off, but it was still an improvement from the weather outside.
He didn’t bother removing his jacket or shoes, but he did discard the bag of purchases from sight before he sought out Shiloh. “Shiloh?” he called upon entering; it was quiet enough that he knew Shiloh would have heard him come in. He just wanted to make sure Shiloh knew it was him.
“I got your text. Are you all right?” Cold, possibly. Unnerved by the whisperings of an old house, maybe. But, probably all right, so he didn’t dwell on it. “There’s a generator downstairs. I haven’t used it in a while and I’ll have to set it up, but hopefully the power will return before we finish dinner and I won’t have to deal with any of that. It’s a large house, so it’s a bit of an inconvenience but,” he shrugged. “I don’t want you to be cold tonight.”
He approached the fire with obvious intent to warm up. He was already rubbing his hands together. “Dinner smells good, though. How was your day?”
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:51 pm
Shiloh did hear Alexei come in, and he jumped, just the slightest bit. The house creaked all the time, and was frightening as it only grew darker and darker with the winter sun setting. But a familiar voice called out his name, reassuring Shiloh that it was infact Alexei and not some random mysterious entity. Up on his feet, he stood by the fire, waiting for Alexei to join him in the dim light, blanket still draped around his shoulder. It was rather surprising just how quickly the house grew cold without the central heat.
"I'm fine. If you want some help with the generator, I think I know where the flashlights are... Do we have gasoline for it? If it is too much of a hassle, I don't mind just staying near the fire tonight." He smiled at the little concern Alexei showed. It was a little thing, but a kind little thing, as he always had one.
A strange thought danced on his tongue, wanting to ask Alexei to just stay close to him, that he would be warm in the other's embrace, but he thought better of it. That was crossing the line wasn't it? Far too soon, and far too inconvenient of a time.
"I'm glad it smells good. My day was just fine, spent most of it cooking... I think I'm getting a little better at it. It's a bunch of different dishes, a small chicken, some mashed potatoes and gravy, some mixed veggies... It is Christmas Eve afterall and I figured both of us would appreciate a good meal." To Shiloh, Alexei worked harder than anyone he knew, and carried an immense burden on his shoulders, being the one who determined the fate of others... So if he could come home to a warm hearth and home, and hot food on the table, Shiloh would feels as if he was relieving a little of that. Sadly, power outages never really helped with that sort of thing.
"If it doesn't come back, I'm happy to set up some bedding down here. I could pull the couch out as well, so we can both sleep down here."
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:51 pm
Alexei grunted, as if that was a suitable response thinking fixing the generator was too much of a hassle. It wasn’t a very fleshed out response, but it was better than silence. Alexei too regularly simply didn’t respond to something someone said to him, not because he didn’t listen or because he didn’t care, but because sometimes his mind had already wandered onto something else.
But he was working on at least making an effort to let Shiloh know he had heard him and considered his words.
“It’s going to get cold tonight,” he warned. “Even if we get the generator back on now, the house will still be chilly for a while. So I’ll take a look at it, but we might want to set up near the fireplace for tonight, too.”
Power or not, it was a large house, and if the chill had already permeated this far in, it wouldn’t be easy to chase out. Alexei wasn’t going to take any chances that he caught a cold—him, or Shiloh.
“I’m glad you’re not fixing cheese sandwiches for dinner,” he said, and even managed a smile to Shiloh. “But I can assure you, it’s already sounding like the best Christmas Eve dinner I’ve had in years. I had takeout last year,” he confessed. “…And leftovers, the year before that. And, I think, food poisoning the year before that, so. I’m very grateful to have you here. If you weren’t, I probably would have just had wine and crackers, tonight.”
Alexei prided his good health, but sometimes even he got lazy with it. Apparently, during the holidays was when he was the worst at taking care of himself.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:57 pm
It didn't take long at all for Shiloh to get used to the Judge's responses, the grunt only earning a smile and his own little nod. HIs own thoughts wandered to the couch, knowing that it wasn't big enough for the both of them. Of course Alexei would be far too proper to have a couch that welcomed a guest to sleep on it. He had all the extra rooms for that purpose, and even then he didn't ever invite anyone over... Except for Shiloh... What a strange thought..
Rather than let his mind wander into what ifs and more depressing thoughts, he drew a little closer to Alexei, taking his hand into his own to give it a small squeeze without even realizing it. At this point it wasn't anything new, the way Shiloh sought out Alexei's touch when he was home. There was comfort there that he couldn't quite describe, perhaps it was because the older man never pushed him away.
The mention about the sandwich brought back the first few times they met and just how nervous he was back then. Had it really been nearly a year since then? Just how had he ended up living with the man, sleeping in his bed and depending on him so much as he did? Shiloh only smiled back shyly, admiring just how handsome Alexei's was, a light blush coming across his face as he squeezed his hand. "Well... You um... You do so much for me... And basically care for me like no one else has ever done... Cooking is the least I could do... Right? If I could, I'd give you the world... But this is all I have so..."
Once he realized just what he said, Shiloh immediately let Alexei's hand go, turning away and feeling his face starting to burn. "I-I mean.. I will just... I uh... I'll go make some plates! Yes, that's what I'll go do! Y-You go check the the generator, please!"
What had he been thinking, getting caught up in his own mind and letting out too much, too soon? He knew that the Judge wouldn't put him out for any growing feelings but he still could lose what he had... Alexei was such a private man... As close as Shiloh felt he was, it still seemed that there would be a moment where he'd cross the line and no matter how much he could say he loved the older man, he'd be pushed right out of his life...
He never wanted it to get to that point, so he stopped while he was still left with some atleast some of Alexei's patience. He focused instead on food, on the warmth that came from the oven when he opened it quickly and closed it again, and how long the food would keep warm before the cold air took it's hold.
"Did you.. Um.. Want wine tonight too?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:52 pm
Alexei’s eyes had remained on Shiloh when he turned away, and though Shiloh had suggested he check on the generator, instead all he did was stand there and loosen his tie.
“Wine sounds excellent,” he decided. “I’m sure it will pair well with the meal. Which, by the way, I am always grateful for.”
Alexei was honest in some ways, and while he could express his fondness for the meals, he couldn’t quite vocalize his fondness for his house guest.
“I don’t think you should belittle what you do for me. I think we do a fine job taking care of each other, don’t you think? Your cooking is very important to me. What you give me means more to me than the world. I would think you’d know that by now, but perhaps I’ll have to be more vocal about my gratitude towards you. You do know that you’re important to me, don’t you?” he chanced; he spoke as easily as if he were talking about the weather, even as he rolled his shoulders and tugged his tie off. He set it on the counter and propped his elbows atop it; he leaned against it and peered over at Shiloh while he worked.
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 9:10 pm
Alexei wasn't going to listen to him, was he? As badly as he sought out a few minutes alone to gather himself up enough to give at least semi-coherent thoughts, it wasn't going to happen. Especially now that Alexei leaned against the counter.
"...." For a long moment, Shiloh stayed silent, going to where he had pre-selected a bottle of wine and grabbed two glasses, placing one in front of the judge and pouring him a generous serving and himself even a little bit more. What was he supposed to say to him after the judge seemed to say things his heart had been longing after for so long? Ah... He could feel that gaze, ever so intense staring straight at him, probably wondering when the hunched over young man would finally say something, but the longer he waited, the harder it was to speak out loud, and the awkward silence stretched on more and more.
By the time he ran out of things to do, he had already prepared the plates, set them before Alexei and downed nearly the entire glass, probably earning a near concerned look from the older man, he didn't dare to look. Out of any more reasons to move, Shiloh stood on the other side of the counter, idly rolling the stem of the whine glass between his fingers and glancing down at the neatly place food arrangements.
"I... I know that..." He finally spoke up, allowing himself to finally glance up at the older man, taking another long sip from his wine glass to hopefully find some courage in it. "I know that you care... How could I not when you do so much for me..? Things I know for certain no one else would... But... Alexei..." Shiloh paused again, hesitating before reaching out to gently grasp his hand, brushing his fingertips over his knuckles before pulling away again.
"I don't think you know just how much I care for you... It's not just... It's not just how a friend feels... Or gratefulness for how well you care for me... I want to do everything I can to make you happy... I don't... I-I don't ever want to leave your side..." Maybe it was the wine, or just the throbbing he felt as his ears burned more, but he felt dazed, almost a little scared by his words, yet it wasn't enough to keep him from leaning across the table and pressing an awkward kiss to corner of the Judge's lips.
And when he pulled away he felt as if his chest would explode... Why did he chose to do this now? Why, when the power was out and there was no way to escape to a different room without freezing?
"I shouldn't have.. I-I really shouldn't have... I-I'm sorry..." The thought that Alexei would shove him out, tell him he wasn't welcomed here anymore never crossed his mind, but there was still fear growing in his chest. Things would change now... It wouldn't be that same awkward friendship they had before where they were just happy to have each other... He had crossed that line and he wasn't sure if there was any way to go back, nor did he wanted it to... How he wished he had more wine in his glass... At least then he had an excuse to keep grasping the glass in his hand as tightly as he did.
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:50 am
Alexei had been watching Shiloh the entire time he moved; it wasn’t an indifferent look like he sometimes managed—the byproduct of working too long and too hard—but, rather, he wore a curious expression, softened by concern. He didn’t draw away when Shiloh took his hand. Or when he spoke. Or when he kissed him.
But he didn’t move.
His expression didn’t change, and he didn’t immediately speak.
After a pause, he said simply, “I know.”
He reached for his own glass of wine and took a swig—not as if he were trying to stifle his thoughts or get drunk, but as if they were having any other casual conversation.
“I wanted to see how long it would take you to say something. There’s no need to apologize. I’m proud of you. Though, you really shouldn’t drink so much so quickly.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:26 am
I know... That's all he said... It didn't help the way Shiloh was anxiously moving the the glass between his fingers. In fact, his shaking got a little worse as he forced himself to smile, tears starting up again and spilling over as they soften did.
Instead of risking dropping the glass, or shattering it with his vice like grip, he set it down, letting his hands fall to his side and grasp onto the edge of his shirt. He really, truly didn't want to cry right now, but there was no stopping the soft sob he let out.
"Y-You're proud of me... I'm glad.. I'm really glad..." What was he supposed to say at this point...? As always he couldn't tell what Alexei was thinking, and it frustrated him. Yes, he was drinking, and with that drink, his lips were looser, more honest. "I just.. Is that it? You're just... Proud of me... Proud of me finally saying something, proud of me for stopping doubting myself over what I mean to you, to anyone and just... It doesn't feel good, Alexei..."
His hand let go of his shirt to press against his chest, over his heart and squeezing the fabric there, clenching it tighter before letting it go, letting his hand go limp, then hanging his head.
"It doesn't feel good..." Again he muttered, walking around the counter, past Alexei to the couch and into the cold to sit down on. The cold leather of the couch felt amazing on his face as he leaned against it, trying to finally stifle down the sobs. "I'll keep making you proud, I promise.. Even if it's just that... I still don't want to leave here, leave you... So if I'm just something to try to fix, and for you to keep being proud of, I... I'm happy to do it.."
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:58 pm
Alexei watched Shiloh for only a few seconds before he was reaching out for him. It wasn’t right, watching him cry. It felt like prickles in the pit of his stomach and it made his skin crawl. It wasn’t the effect Alexei had wanted, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t understand how they’d gotten there.
When Shiloh moved, he did.
He set the wine glass down and moved silently, fluidly, to join him on the couch. His arms wrapped around the younger male and he drew him away from the couch and into his chest.
“You misunderstand,” he said, leaving no room for Shiloh to pull away.
“I wouldn’t have let you stay here if I didn’t feel the same.”
It was blunt, but honest. Alexei saw no reason to beat around the bush, and after what they’d been through he wasn’t going to sully any sort of bond if he could help it. It didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t the best with expressing feelings, and it wasn’t something he could change overnight. Or ever, possibly. But he had changed, in other ways, for Shiloh.
“I like you the way you are.” He leaned forward and kissed the top of Shiloh’s head. “So don’t sit here and cry, you’ll catch a chill. You’ve made this delicious dinner and there’s no reason why we should let it go to waste. Or for you to doubt yourself. Your feelings for me,” he paused, and seemed to visibly be unsure of how to word things. “…Are not unlike mine for you. Only, I think you are better than me at expressing them. But it’s a part of who you are. You are very honest, and open, and trusting. And I,” he shrugged, still holding Shiloh close.
“I grew into a man who wasn’t, and it is hard for me to break that mold. You must give me time. You simply surprised me, tonight. I am sorry I have upset you.”
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:18 pm
When Alexei drew Shiloh closer to him, holding him close and refusing to let him move, he gave in without a fight. Why would he, when he did just say he felt so strongly for his older companion. Even now, with his heart feeling like it was in pieces, he found comfort there, held in his grasp. In a way, Alexei made him feel like a foolish child, driven by emotion and immature in his thoughts, and it was certainly as reason why he felt so unsure of himself. The gap between them was large, not only in age, but in how they had established themselves, the way they lived and presented themselves to the world, and just how confident they were.
Yet Alexei said he felt the same...? Even if the words were confusing it was the same thing, they felt the same, and that very notion eased the soft sobs into a look of disbelief, almost doubting that Alexei had meant any of it. The Judge was many, many things to Shiloh, but a liar was not one of them, and it made him feel even more foolish for having reacted that way.
Yes, it was the wine. He could keep blaming everything on the wine for now, it was as good as a reason as any other.
"Alexei..." Shiloh whispered, pressing his forehead against the other's shoulder as he forced his sobs to subside with deep soft breaths. "I don't want you to change... I like you just the way you are... Just like you like me. So... So don't change, please..."
He stayed that way for a moment, calming down and taking in the subtle scent of Alexei's cologne, finding it soothing in a way. "I'm not upset, just... You sounded more like a proud father than someone who would consider me anything more than a roommate... It's.. It's weird... I'm a man too, so, treat me that way... Maybe not as an equal but as a... A lover then... I-if you really do feel the same.."
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:36 am
Alexei hummed a thoughtful noise as he played with Shiloh’s hair. “You should treat your lover as an equal. But ‘lover’ implies a certain intimacy I don’t think you are sober enough to appreciate tonight.”
He did not seem like he had any plans to release Shiloh despite he previous request that they return to dinner. He rested his chin atop the younger man’s head.
Suddenly he asked, in a quiet, contemplative voice, “You truly would change nothing about me?”
It seemed a strange thought, that Shiloh would not have found at least some annoyance about Alexei. He knew he could be brash, or blunt. He knew he focused on business and took things too seriously. He knew he wasn’t very trusting and he always questioned motivations. Alexei liked to think he was aware of his ‘flaws’, but then, Alexei also liked to think he knew everything. He certainly tried to, at least.
He continued to stroke Shiloh’s hair soothingly trying to lull him into a sense of comfort. He liked the closeness, though it was difficult for him to admit. He had spent so long alone that holding someone in his arms—like this—felt strange. It was foreign, but far from unpleasant, and it was far too easy to relax with Shiloh pressed so close to him.
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:12 am
"... I'm not sober enough for this...? This is what lovers do, right? Hold each other... Kiss and just.. Feel happy right? I think I'm plenty sober enough for that, I promise you." Shiloh half laughed at the notion he wasn't sober enough for affection like this. The thought of anything more didn't come to mind, it being just fuzzy enough that he focused only on that which he had right now. And it wasn't a bad thing, of course, the chin on his head and the warmth Alexei had that helped to ease away the cold around them.
It was nice, and the longer they stayed that way, the calmer he felt. After some time, he seemed to relax fully against Alexei, mind trying to piece together what had happened, the actual situation at hand, but the wine was having none of it. Instead he only thought of how happy he was, and when the judge spoke again, he tilted his head up to get a better look at him, absently pressing another soft kiss to his chin. For a moment he didn't even remember why he had been so upset and worked up in the first place, but if this was the result, he didn't mind in the least.
"Huh... Well... I would only wish that you'd relax some more, take time for yourself to enjoy what makes you happy.. I'm sure that sounds like hypocrisy coming from me, the rampant ball of anxiety and troubles I am." The strokes on his hair lead to him closing his eyes as he leaned into it, taking in a soft breath and releasing it with a smile dancing on his lips.
"You told me some time ago... What was it... Nearly a year.... No, Almost a year, but some time ago, you wanted to make me your hobby, your project of sorts I think... Have I changed then? Do you still dislike the parts of me that you wanted to fix back then? Is that... um... Is that why you can say you feel the same way as I do now?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:51 pm
Alexei hummed a small noise, perhaps simply intending to buy himself some time as he contemplated his answer. He continued to stroke Shiloh’s hair gently.
“You’ve changed,” he admitted after a short time. “But I liked you back then, too. You are, and have always been, yourself. Sometimes I think the only thing I did was give you the support you needed to have a little more confidence. It disappoints me that you didn’t have the support you should have had. I hope I am an adequate source, though. I’m very proud of you, Shiloh. But the change has not all been yours. I am,” he paused, and then grumbled a low noise from deep within his throat before he shrugged.
“…Reserved, in all things emotional. I rely on logic and facts, and feelings are illogical and based on no fact. So they are difficult for me. But,” he pursed his lips. “I find them less difficult to process when I imagine your smile. So perhaps I have changed, too. A bit.”
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:11 pm
"You were adequate, for certain!" Shiloh insisted, pulling away from him to look properly into his eyes. "I've always been this.... Shy, uncertain person, and... Lots of bad things happen, but when I'm with you, it all goes away. I just think about how happy I am with you, and how safe I feel." Even now his words seemed so different than the crying mess he had been a few moments ago.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're like... I dunno... This... like... Beacon of light. When I hurt or when I feel really, really low, You're there, to help me figure out what to do and to encourage me to be the best Shiloh I can... And that's one of the reasons I love you.... You make me a better person."
At some point his hands came up to stroke his cheeks, a shy, love struck grin on his face as he pushed back a few loose strands behind Alexei's ear.
"I think you're right... You have changed... But even when think back, I always imagine this kind gaze you've given me... You've always been sweet to me, so... Maybe you've always been like this, but with me around it comes out more... I dunno that either... I just, Alexei... I want to kiss you again... May I? I'm sober enough for more kisses, promise."
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