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 Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 2:48 pm
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 3:29 pm
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 3:32 pm
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 3:37 pm
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 3:38 pm
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 3:39 pm
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 3:41 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2016 1:55 pm
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Prentice - Journal entry 1
Starting Out
The memories of that fateful night ended with him climbing into the shelter of a tree trunk. He couldn’t remember being found by anyone while hiding in that tree nook as a youngling. His saviors were faceless through the fog of his fever at the time. He couldn’t remember the trip to Pajore, having been unconscious for the majority of the trek. He even couldn’t remember being carried into the clinic. Oh, there were little pockets of fuzzy images, but actual memory? Nope. Just pain. Fear. Loss.
Tacrith startled up sharply, gasping in a breath. He looked at the stacks of books around him, at the roof over his head, at the familiar walls of his small room, and the book on the desk that- eww- that he had managed to drool on while half asleep.
Wiping at the damp page with his sleeve, he yawned and stretched his arms up over his head. Maybe he should get himself a sharp drink? Something to get his mind going again. He’d been sitting at his desk for what felt like ages, trying to cram in as much research as possible before the next day. Today’s lesson with his mentor had focused on how to use the local flora and fauna in healing. His lessons had been getting driven hard lately, but Tac didn’t mind. Having the extra research and work to do kept him busy. It kept his focus on the right things. He should try getting to bed, but his focus was clearly wavering toward what it shouldn’t. He’d filled pages with his notes on usable flora.
“Tintural..” he murmured to himself, gazing over the pages that laid open on the desk in front of him. An indirect way of using the local wildlife for medical purposes, but still a valid one. With the way the tinturals lived and traveled, there was a range of useful plants to be found growing on them. Now, if only the creatures could be trained to collect certain kinds of herbs. That would be something else. It would be a bit slow to start out, but effective once in motion.
He turned his page to look at his next page of notes. Diascia. Snails with healing slime. There wasn’t much known about the actual abilities of the snail’s slime, but the reports that they did have were promising. Now, if something could be trained to find those and bring them back to the clinic for breeding and testing...
Tac laughed to himself a little. It would probably be left to him to tend to the buggers. Somehow, his fellow students would find a way to get him out of the teacher’s favor. He didn’t care what his fellow students thought of him though. He didn’t even care about having his mentor’s favor, really. He just wanted to learn and do his job with the skills he’d discovered. He wanted... he wanted to be able to travel outside of town to find the tintural and the diascia himself. He wanted to be able to collect the necessary herbs on his own. He wanted to be able to walk around the clinic without getting tired. He wanted to be able to see a patient without that patient asking if he was a patient as well! He wanted to not have people giving him looks of pity and confusion when they saw him using his cane!
The frustration bubbled over all of a sudden. With a sharp snarl, he thrashed out an arm to knock one of the stacks of books down. They landed with multiple thuds, Tac wincing at the sound despite his sudden irritation. He was one to take care of his books; not throw them around like a child. He also wasn’t one to act like a child, either! He expected much better of himself.
Blushing with embarrassment at himself, and quite glad that no one had been around to see the little fit, he carefully slid off from the chair to pick the books back up. Striking out like that would help nothing... After all, his books had never led him astray.
If he could just keep on learning and growing, maybe he would one day be strong enough to not need the cane? It.. was unlikely, but it was better than thinking that he would always need it. He just needed to keep learning. If he could hone his skills, then maybe he could help prevent someone else from going through a similar defect as his own. Defect... He accepted his disability, but he didn’t like it. Not only was it an everyday hindrance, but it was also a constant reminder of his failures. Of his weakness.
Frowning slightly, he pulled out the rune that hung around his neck. The symbol of protection... He hadn’t been able to protect his father. He hadn’t been able to protect his mother. He hadn’t been able to protect his brother. Even his birth mother had died because of him. What good was he? He surely didn’t deserve to keep wearing it... but he couldn’t bear to part with it either. It was all he had left of his family.
Snorting, he tucked the rune away again and focused once more on the books. There was a lot he couldn’t do... but, from the clinic, there was quite a bit that he could do. If nothing else, he would try to help others as they went through their lives. As long as they came to the clinic, or they didn’t live too far away, he would do everything in his power to help them. Maybe... Maybe helping others would somehow knit the hole in his chest closed as well...
Once the books were stacked and put back up onto the desk, he pulled himself back up into his chair. After the long day, the leg he hated was sore and stiff. If he was going to be able to do his shift tomorrow morning, he was going to have to get at least a little bit of rest. Well, more than a little bit if he was to have a fresh leg for the day. As a healer in training, he needed to be ready for anything! Tacrith was determined to live up to the standards he’d set for himself. After all, the world seemed to expect him to be useless. He was going to prove otherwise.
(( word count: 1,071 = 3 points )) |
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:39 am
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Prentice - Journal entry 2
Repeat Business
Eyes looking over the entry paper, Tac’s expression fell a little with irritation at a familiar name. “Again?” At least it was for a different reason than before. The patient’s first visit had revealed them to be stubborn and short tempered and resistant to any help that Tac had tried to offer. For the sake of sanity, he hoped the client had learned their lesson from their last visit.
Grabbing onto a couple vials that he would need to administer, Tac took a deep breath and headed into the treatment room. Another healer was in there already, speaking to a woman standing there. Sitting up on the treatment table, a young girl sat with her arms crossed and her lips pressed tight, glaring at the adults talking. “Don’t talk like I’m not here! I won’t take it! Stupid healer’s medicine never helps!”
“So, you’ve come back,” he observed flatly, giving his patient a bemused look. “How are you feeling?”
All three looked up as he entered. The other healer looked on with relief and quickly excused himself from the treatment room. The woman, the patient’s mother, looked tired and hopeful. The patient herself, however, looked at Tac with wide eyes. “I-I don’t wanna take it! It’s yucky! I don’t feel that bad!”
Tac sighed heavily and shook his head. This was the very same problem from before. That time, the girl had eaten a bad plant, and needed to take medicine to prevent any severe damage. That time, the girl had sipped once at the herbal drink and promptly refused to take in another drop. “So, why are you here?”
The girl pouted and pointed an accusing finger at her mother. “She made me!”
Tac glanced at the mother, who gave him an apologetic shrug. “My apologies. I do not know why she has been cursed to have so many incidents.. and so much stubbornness. She couldn’t keep her breakfast down this morning, and refused her lunch. Something has taken her to make her refuse a meal!”
Pursing his lips, Tac looked at the child again. The kid probably ate something that she wasn’t supposed to again... Child or not, he wasn’t going to argue with her again. She needed to learn. “Remember your last visit?”
The girl nodded, shoulders softening a little.
“Do you remember the medicine I gave you?”
The girl nodded again, shoulders falling further.
“Do you remember me saying the medicine would help you?”
Another small nod, her bright eyes shifting away.
“Did you take the medicine like I told you to?”
A pause, and then her small head shook side to side.
“No, you didn’t take it as I directed you to. What was the result?”
The girl fidgeted in place, suddenly quite uncomfortable having her folly pointed out. “I.. got sick?”
Tac sighed again. “Is that a question?” Getting no reply this time, he took a step forward and crossed his arms sternly. “Yes. You got very sick. You worried your parents needlessly, because you didn’t take your medicine.” Leaning onto the table to get to a more even eye level, he held up one of the small vials. “This will help you feel better, but you need to drink the whole thi-” Before he could finish, the girl snatched the vial from his hand and gulped it back immediately. Tac only gawked a moment before accepting the empty vial. “Good. Remember; eating the wrong things means you’ll have to drink this again, and it might even taste worse next time.”
Watching the pair leave after, Tac made a few notes in the girl’s file. While the girl was indeed a bit of a brat, it was good to see she could learn from her mistakes. Hopefully, the lesson would stick this time. Or, at least, perhaps the dislike of the medicine would be a strong enough deterrent to keep the girl in check. Perhaps there was hope for the children of Yeal yet~
(( word count: 660 = 2 points )) |
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:42 am
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Prentice- Class Quest Solo
Healer
While Tacrith was firm in his determination to follow the path of a healer, there were some days that he wondered what the point was in trying. The Yeali people certainly were a resilient people... but they more often than not also had the tendency of being ridiculously superstitious. Somehow, Tac had grown up in a manner that he felt had both feet firmly to the ground. He put little weight into curses or blessings. He lacked faith in any god. Tac believed in what he saw and heard and read.
There was only one curse he believed in, and that was the curse he was burdened with. Death always surrounded him. His birth mother, his father and step-mother, his brother... he believed all had died in relatively close proximity to him; and thus was his curse.
Perhaps this was why he stuck to the clinic? Being there, he was regularly around people in the process of dying as they entered. Tac’s hope was that this would negate the deaths his own presence caused. He doubted the curse could be removed, but this might lessen the effects. It was the brightest flame of hope he had. He grasped the hope tightly, and refused to relinquish his hold on it. After all, it seemed to be working so far. ...Not that he had any new family to lose, but it was working to him.
This curse wasn’t his problem though. It was everyone else’s curses they came to the clinic with. A curse caused this rash! A curse caused my sneezing! A curse is making it hard to see! A curse gave me a stomach ache!
Normally, Tac would only nod along and then would provide the needed treatment. That rash; the result of wearing that scarf for too many days in a row without cleansing. The sneezing; there was nothing special about sneezing twice in a row, go home. The difficultly seeing; many people developed the need for glasses, get a pair. The stomach ache; too many sweet treats will do that.
Curses had a place, but the true curses were much fewer and further between than most people thought. Mostly, Tac considered the belief of the rampant curses themselves as the true curse. Fearing curses made some people make foolish and dangerous decisions. How was he supposed to put up with these ridiculous incidences the rest of his career?
Then he met the patient now sleeping down in one of the critical care rooms, brought in only a couple days ago. The six month old babe was far too small for her age and weak of both body and mind. The little girl had been born early by a few weeks. Rather than face the embarrassment of admitting the child was born before her time, her parents hid her in their house, deciding to wait for her to age enough for her body to grow before showing her to the world. She didn't get the medical attention she needed at such a delicate stage, and was now facing the consequences.
The situation made Tacrith furious. How could those people put their fear of judgment before their daughter’s health? Why couldn’t they see that she needed more than what they had to care for her with? How?! How could they?!
No matter how many times he thought it over, he couldn’t understand the choice they had made. Even now, with their daughter not likely to last past a week, they stood by their decision. This was the hardest thing to listen to. Hearing them express sorrow over their child’s condition, and then assuring each other that this was still better than the shame of everyone knowing there had been an early birth. Sharing their mindless encouragements that the girl would have been even worse off if others had found out.
It was excruciatingly difficult for Tac to not scream at this couple. To not snarl at every person who came in blaming their superstitions for their troubles. To keep a straight and calm face when hit with such foolish notions. He had slipped up a few times, but he was getting better at holding back. He knew what his role was at the clinic.
He sat with the tiny baby, checking the improvement of her status, jaw clenched tight. She was so small and innocent. She did not deserve such treatment. He put a hand to her belly to feel her stomach, and a tiny hand slipped over to grab his finger. The touch made him freeze up, staring with surprise at the little girl. Dull eyes blinked lazily up at him, and the tiny mouth subtly curved.
Was she... smiling at him? But, she’d been so neglected. She was near death! She..
Behind him came a little gasp of delight, and the girl’s mother arrived at the other side of the bed with a large smile and watering eyes. “Look at her,” the woman murmured softly. “She’s so beautiful when she smiles. Thank you for taking care of her.”
Tacrith found himself wanting to scream at her. Scream that it was her fault that the child was in the clinic, laying wasted like this. Instead though, he looked at the baby again. The little girl was looking at her mother, and still trying to smile. The mother touched the babe’s face, and the little girl gave a soft coo of contentment.
In that little smile, and the joy emanating from the mother, Tac finally felt himself give a little. By now, he knew that it wasn’t always an emergency that brought people to the clinic, but they did need something. If a woman came in claiming that a curse had made her stumble down the steps and break her wrist, then Tac would tend to that wrist. If a man came in claiming that a curse was causing his hands to go numb, Tac would tend to those arms. If a child came in weak and their parents shouting about a curse, Tac would tend to that child. He would help care for this child so that she could hopefully live a long life. Whether it was a success or not, he would do his job, and do it as best as he could.
In the end, it really didn’t matter what the patients thought had happened to them. He wasn’t there to treat curses or superstitions or imagined gods. He was there to treat the bodies that came in. All he had was his knowledge and logic. Those tools in him alone could not fight the long lasting and widespread beliefs of the general public. Tacrith, just him, one at a time, could affect each person who walked into the clinic. Perhaps he couldn’t say anything to lessen the superstitious beliefs, but that wasn’t necessary. The only belief he needed to help strengthen of the people’s in the clinic.
((Word Count: 1,151 ))
Conclusion: Tacrith has come to find a balance between himself and his patients. He’s had to learn to put a little more space between his personal beliefs and the faiths of others. Committing himself to healing others is more than just medical procedure. Up to recently, he’d been at odds with the faith system, considering it a necessary annoyance in the field. Now, he is settling on his mindset of working with faiths rather than ignoring them. Being a healer is more than just treating the physical symptoms. |
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:10 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:54 pm
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Healer - Journal entry 2
Friendly Progress
With dinner bubbling in the pot over the fire, Tacrith sat in a chair to keep an eye on his meal as it cooked. It was a simple stew, but the young healer did not mind. He preferred to keep things simple in a world where little fit that description.
His mind did not seek to focus as it usually could, though. Normally, he thought about the work he’d done and what would need doing tomorrow. He found his thoughts drifting from what was in front of him. Rather, what was around him in his life was now holding his interest. It had been some time now since he had started down his path as a healer. He was done being an apprentice, he had his own office at the clinic, and he was in charge of his own patients. His career was good and on track. Basic needs were never a concern for him. Despite his thin frame, there was always food in his belly (when he remembered to eat, of course). He had clothes on his back for the changes in weather. His home, though small and sparse, was warm and comfortable. Yes, his basic needs were met and on track as well.
Glowing eyes shifting around, Tac gave a small nod. Yes, life was good enough. For now, anyway.
He leaned forward to poke at the fire crackling underneath the pot of stew when his necklace slid out from the folds of his shirt, the rune catching the light of the fire. With that brief flicker of light, Tac pulled himself back into his chair, lips turning into a frown. With that flicker of light, he could see and remember what he was missing...
Tacrith was not a man know for wallowing in self-pity or depression. He refused to do so! Still, that didn’t stop his silver eyes from turning somber. Nor did it stop his lips from pressing firmly to hold back something that ached deep in his chest. Usually, he was able to keep busy and not miss it. Sometimes though... he could feel the empty space inside him. The space left by his absent family. While no one’s death had been seen with his own eyes, he knew they were gone.
Now that his thoughts were headed in that direction, there was little he could do other than let it play out in his mind. He had the usual questions; the same ones he had been asking himself for years now... Could he have done something different back then? What if they had all survived that mess? What would it be like now? Would he still have friends like Zekiel? Would he- Wait-
The new thought caught the young healer by surprise. Zekiel... friend?
His eyes drifted around the house. As a youngling, he’d been burdened by the curse of taking his mother’s life in place of his own. No one had wanted anything to do with the ‘cursed’ boy, lest they were to get affected by that curse as well. His only friends had been his father, and then his step-mother, and then Finn. Suddenly, they were all gone. After the attack, he had taken to his books and studies for solace. He had not desired getting close to anyone again. His curse was best kept to himself. He was helping heal others to make up for his blighted presence. He was supposed to gain nothing in return. ..So, how had he come by a friend?
Was Zekiel actually a friend? A small handful of other faces floated in front of him as well, but the priest’s was the most prominent. The bubbly man had grown on the surly healer... Tac was not sure how it had happened, but.. yes. He felt that he could think of Zekiel as a friend.
Oh, perhaps not the classic version of a friend who came over to his house for dinner, shared deep secrets and laughed the day away. Not at all. Tac snorted at the idea of inviting anyone over to his home. What would he talk about?! No. It wasn’t about that. He trusted Zekiel though. The priest was earnest, kind, a bit naïve.. and had grown so much since their first meeting. Tac was comfortable around him. That in itself.. that in itself was big.
If the world had been ideal.. He could see himself more thoroughly enjoying his meeting of the cheerful man of faith. ..No. Stop thinking that way. The world was as it was, and there was little to no point in imagining it differently. Yet, just because the world was not his ideal world, this did not mean it was entirely rotten or abandoned either. There were others who smiled at him out of warmth rather than simple politeness; others who did not mind being around him. It was amazing to think that there were actually others who had bothered being patient enough to slip even a peek through his curmudgeonly shell.
No, he didn’t have his family.. but he had some friends. He knew the hole inside him would never fill, but it suddenly did not seem so gapping and deep. ..Yeah. Life was good enough. For now.
Brow rising at an odd hissing sound, he yanked himself out of his daydreaming to pull the boiling soup up from over the fire. Bring someone here to simply hang out as a pal? Goodness, the idea was absurd!
(( word count: 909 = 3 points )) |
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:23 pm
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Healer - Journal entry 3
O Brother, Who Art Thou..
Would it have been easier to not know? Would it have been easier to continue thinking that all had been lost to him? Would not knowing his brother was still alive after all these years have been better?
..At the current time, Tacrith was tempted to say ‘yes’ to all of those questions.
It had been a shock, to say the least, to see his younger brother again. The biggest shock was how dismal their reunion had been. The only time he had entertained the thought of finding Finn alive had been right after he’d woken at the clinic. Such thoughts had been filled with joy. That had been years ago, and he had since given up on the idea..
He hadn’t seen Finn since that day that Zekiel had brought the emaciated young man to the clinic to meet him. Since then, he had continued working. Ze had been to his home for dinner. He had put extra time into his studies. He had tried to make life as normal as it had been for the past few years, and tried to fill in the spaces where he could. ..Yet, he felt that pain linger in his chest. It wasn’t always there, but it would crop up often enough to be a bother; particularly when he was home where his own thoughts truly reigned..
Memories of their youth together easily crept out of the confines of Tac’s mind, where he had attempted to lock them away. Good memories of times that had been cut short. His father and step-mother trying to not laugh when Finn escaped with Tac’s share of a sweet roll. Those bright eyes peeking at him over the top of a book he was reading, waiting for him to finish and play. The small hands that had grabbed toward him eagerly for his affection, and for his food.. Getting dizzy as the energetic boy ran circles around him...
No sign of that boy had shown in the man Tac had met. All he had received was a suspicious, accusing confrontation. The man he had seen at the clinic may have once been Finn; his beloved little brother... but the man he’d met was just Finn, some stranger he didn’t know.
Of course, he knew that he had no idea what Finn had been going through during those missing years. It looked as though it had been a rather miserable life... and it only added to the guilt Tac could not help feeling.
If only he had been able to grab Finn before the boy had fallen off from their mount! If only he had been able to push through the pain of his broken leg to go searching further! Maybe if he had been able to go on just a little more..! He was Finn’s big brother.. and he had failed. Trying to rationalize how he had been a youngling himself and in horrid pain did no good after seeing the current Finn. Trying to point out Finn’s faults at the time of the attack soothed nothing in his thudding heart. Tac could only blame himself.
Besides, who was he to Finn anymore? He must have been just as much a stranger to Finn now, as Finn was to him. Just some guy who looked familiar but held no connection to him.
Tac worked toward finding the calm that would come with being content that Finn was at least alive, and receiving at least a little care from Zekiel. He knew that time would come. He was a logical sort! Until that came though... what would he do? He was so used to being able to shove his aches and hurts into the shadows of his mind, but this refused to go away. This ache would not let go so easily.
(( word count: 635 = 2 points )) |
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:39 pm
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Healer- Growth Quest Solo
Monk
It all started with a vague call in the middle of the night.
After a late running shift due to a rather urgent case, Tacrith was finally cleaned up and ready to head home. While packing his bag in his office, one of the secretaries rushed in.
“Doctor! You are being requested specifically! They won’t tell me anything about what the problem is though.” The healer-in-training was clearly confused and a little more than concerned about the matter. “All they will tell me is that the person is too injured to move from where she is; and they won’t even tell me where! Just that they have already paid for a wagon to take you.”
Tacrith waved his hand. “Tell them I will be right there.” He hurried to grab his medical bag, wondering what might be so urgent. A missing limb? A stab wound? Perhaps someone had a rash and the others thought it was a curse... That was more likely. Still, that did not mean Tac was going to drag his heels at all. He was grateful for the work he had been putting into strengthening his body as of late. After such a long day, there would have been no hurrying before. His leg would have been close to useless. He was using his cane right now, but still able to move at a decent pace.
In the lobby of the clinic, there was a rather terrified looking woman wringing her hands with fear and indecision. She looked like she might have walked right back out if Tac hadn’t shown up right then. She escorted the doctor out to the wagon, and they hurried off into the night. “My apologies, doctor,” she stuttered out. There was a chill in the air, but it wasn’t enough to warrant the tremble in her voice. “I would have brought her to the clinic if I could.. but I fear she would not be welcome there.”
Tac sighed and shook his head. “What is the problem with her? Does she have something that is actually contagious?”
The woman shook her head quickly. “No. No. I.. I do not think so, anyway. A contagion is not my concern.” She chewed on her lip as the mules pulled the wagon along. “Doctor, I hear you are one of the more.. open minded of the scholars there. I would appreciate your discretion in the matter. While I have no desire to befriend her.. I also have no desire to see her suffer.”
Tacrith squinted closer at his driver. “I am not quite a scholar yet... Who is it you are taking me to see?” The whole situation was now making him nervous. Perhaps he should have insisted on bringing someone else along? The wagon had taken them to the far edge of town and into the woods a little.
When they pulled up to a shack, the woman gave Tacrith a desperate look again. “Please.. again, she is no friend of mine, but I found her.. and she should not be left to suffer. Please help her.”
Hurrying after the woman into the shack, Tacrith took one look inside and stopped dead in his tracks. Though he was still admittedly young, Tac did not often find himself so taken aback by anything these days. Here, though, someone had practically pulled a rug from under his feet.
No, not someone. It had been a thing that surprised him. A monster who gave no thought to those it injured or killed. Right there before him, was an Alkidike warrior. Tac stood frozen in the door, staring at his ‘patient’ with a mix of disbelief and terror and shock. The woman who had brought him along was saying something, but he could not hear a single word she spoke. The Alk was lying flat on her back, head tilted toward the pair standing. The black eyes were open wide, but foggy looking as though covered with a film. Blood was pooled on the ground from a leg that had been caught in a rather vicious trap, and her body was covered in cuts and bruises. She had been severely beaten.. Even in such a condition, it growled and tried to get up; probably preparing to attack!
“...and they ran off when I came along, but I’m not strong enough to remove the trap.”
Tac let out the breath he had been holding with an explosive gasp. “What do you expect me to do?!” he snarled, surprising both the woman and himself. Even the Alk might have jumped a little. “You brought me here to heal that?!” Tac was beside himself. “They don’t care one bit about any sort of suffering they have brought to us. A bunch of murderers exiled to our island where they kill us for the sake of killing.”
The woman shook her head. “I know.. but this one is different! She came to talk, and the others reacted without listening to her words. She does not wish to fight us! She says her name is Fa-“
“I do not care what its name is!” Tac hissed venomously. Feeling as though his whole body was on fire, he turned to storm back outside.
“Doctor, please!” she woman yelped, chasing after him. “She is suffering! She has not hurt anyone here!”
Tac rounded on the girl sharply. “Every one of those beasts was sent here because they started a war out where they came from. They were monsters there, and they are monsters here! Do what you like, but I will not help it.”
In all of his years as a healer, Tacrith had never once turned down a patient. There were plenty of people who were on less than friendly terms with him, and even a few he might say were on his s**t list, but he would still heal them as needed. This... this was the first time he had said no to helping someone in need. The idea made him sick. It went against everything he had been taught and believed! Yet.. the idea of helping an Alkidike... that made him feel even more sick.
Those things had killed his father and his step-mother. They had tried to kill him. They had lost Finn to whatever despicable care the boy had been under all this time. For what?
For what?!
~~~
Tacrith had started walking back home on his own, until he could hitch a ride on another wagon. The girl who had sought his help did not pursue after him further. The fire of his anger and indignation kept him upright and alert. However, once he got home, his barriers fell.
Dropping to his knees, Tac put his hands to his face and screamed while his whole body trembled. To be so close to an Alkidike again.. One that was wounded and helpless.. What would have happened if he had tried to help it? The girl had taken it to that little shelter without incident, but the thing was in a dire condition. Once healed, it probably would have just killed them! All he could see was the imprinted image of an Alk preparing to throw a spear at him while he sat helpless on the ground. He had been no adult. No fighter.
He was ashamed of the terror he had felt. That weakened Alk had made him feel like a frightened youngling again. That Alk made him turn his back on the path he had chosen for himself! An Alk was not the same though! Could one really doubt one’s self for the sake of a ruthless monster that would not hesitate to kill them if the positions were reversed?
Maybe walking away had not been the right thing to do.. but he could not make himself go back.
Once he could stand again, Tac got himself a cup of tea and sat at his table to sip at it. No one would blame him for turning away if they ever found out. He was not sorry for what he did... but what he did not do stuck in his mind. What if his emotions got out of hand again and got in the way of him helping someone worth helping in the future? What kind of healer would that make him? If he were to rise in the world, in his world, he knew a balance was going to be needed. The first part of his life had been spent pushing away emotions; and now he would have to face them and learn proper control over them. He could not let them rule him in such a way again.
(( Word count: 1,441 ))
Conclusion: This is a moment of growth through self-awareness and realization. He has come a long way since he first arrived at the clinic so many years ago, but his fear and anger at the Alkidikes remains strong. So strong even, that he turned away from someone in need of help. This crisis makes him see that he is not quite as calm and logic as he had thought. As devoted as he is to his work, he has found a circumstance where emotion overruled logic. It’s a bit of a blow to the young healer, and it opens the path to him opening himself to the world in his next stage. |
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