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Castus gave a hefty sigh as he sat on his windowsill, letting the night's air waft over him, his curtains gently rustling. Why did their meetings always seem to take place in his bedroom at night? Maybe it was because he never really explored much beyond the safety of the Academy walls. It wasn't that he was afraid of taking risks. He just liked knowing things were ... unchanging.

As usual, the doors were unlocked. Waiting for Charnel to come ... he had no reason to doubt she wouldn't show, but ...

Castus pulled his flask from his skirt and sipped from its contents, before sealing it off again and clasping it between his hands. He had always been such a problem student. He had been busted so many times for having alcohol on the premises and had been punished time and time again for it. But his years at the Academy were almost over.

And what of him and Charnel?

Castus was fearful of losing her, but was even more scared of letting her in fully. What did he have to lose, save his privacy? Yah, he had given her his feather. And yah ... they'd had. Relations. But what did that mean for them? Where did he stand with her? Better yet ... what did he mean to her?

Castus heard her enter. Heard her voice reach his feathered ears. Instead of offering a response he took in a deep breath, letting the cool wind of the late season gentle rustle the feathers on his wings.

Silence filled the room for quite some time until Castus turned his head, though did not look at her, offering words at long last. "Well enough, I suppose. Got a lot on my mind right now. S'hard to enjoy it fully at the moment." Another lengthy talk. Small talk. That ... heh.

"Yerself? The night treating you well?"

Castus tensed at her touch, grinding his teeth audibly as he turned his head away from her, eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He didn't want to think about these feelings. Why was this so hard for him? Everyone else could be in love and have it come so easily. So why did he feel like his heart was in a cage? It didn't make any sense.

"Yah, I've been thinking about us!" Castus blurted out, snapping. "I --- heeeeh!" he forced himself to take a breath. "Why are you even interested in me anyways? Why did you accept my feather? How did things ... I know it was a while ago, but why and how did things get so ... involved? This feels so ... this feels so. Weird. Maybe not weird, but ... hard, I guess. Does it feel ... hard for you?"

When Charnel sat down on the windowsill with him, he nervously reached out and gently clasped her hand, mindful of her claws. It was hesitant, and a light touch. But he did care ... this was proof of that.

"Sorry." He said plainly. "I suppose I've kinda been takin' y'fer granted. Or something. I don't mean nothin' by it. I've just ... never. Liked someone as much as I've liked you. I guess."

Castus caught himself snorting rather hard, nearly choking from the sheer force of it. "Scare me away?" he gave a half laugh. Charnel had been one of the -- no, the only real friend he ever had. Why would she scare him away?

But as the Litch continued to talk, the fallen's heart sank in to a panic, and he suddenly felt very ill.

"Oh." was all he could say, and the fallen gulped rather loudly, his nostrils flaring out and his brows pinching together in a suddenly overwhelmed look.

Kids? Future? Living together? Castus had just finally realized he genuine feelings for the girl, and now she was jumping years ahead of themselves and talking about all this crazy adult stuff? The ********. The actual ******** suddenly felt caged again. And yah, he felt ******** terrified. This was a huge step in their relationship he didn't know if he was ready for, and Charnel seemed so curious pf his response, but genuinely sure of what she wanted. It freaked him right the HELL out.

For a moment, Castus fumbled over his words, trying to speak over the lump in his throat that was causing him to gag, when suddenly a knock came at his door, and the Fallen suddenly shut up and bolted over to it, eager for the distraction. "I'VE GOT IT!"

Well. It was his room. He should get the door. But ******** it, he wanted it to be really clear that it was HIS door and HIS room and that this was HIS LIFE and -- was he overreacting?

No. This was crazy. Really ******** crazy. He might love her. But.

Him? Being a dad? That was really laughable.

It felt like the door was so far away as he scrambled over to it, practically sprinting for that safety net.