Previous Promo
MM #25 Match
The camera fades-in to show Staff Member Russo, writing some rubbish ideas on to a piece of paper. We know that they are rubbish because he is the worst writer in the world.
Russo: "....and then, Cartwright will be jobbed out to Hiro! Yes! That will be the ULTIMATE humiliation! I hate that Cartwright! He can lick my gooch and suck on deez nuts! Oh he's going to be sooooo mad! It's going to be so funny! I'm laughing already! Hahahaha!"
Staff Member Russo's insanity is interrupted by BBW Interviewer Michael Roll, who thinks that he is a top journalist just because he reported on a war once.
Roll: "Staff Member Russo, you must be so happy that Cartwright lost both of his matches at Solar Slam."
Staff Member Russo nods his head. He looks so very happy. He looks as happy as Hiro looks when he gets a new Pokemon card. That is so very happy. Almost orgasmic.
Russo: "I am! And I totally had nothing to do with either loss! I'm just a writer! I don't interfere in matches! That's not my job!"
Michael Roll shakes his head at such blatant lies, and he covered Bill Clinton's Presidential Campaign.
Roll: "Tonight, he is in a match with Xavier X under the Crimson Falls stipulation. Why would you book this?"
Staff Member Russo looks super excited to explain himself to Roll.
Russo: "Crimson Falls means that Cartwright will not only lose tonight, but he will be guaranteed to be lying in a pool of his own blood as well, because in order to win, the opponent must be bleeding before they can be pinned or forced to submit! Xavier X is going to get the job done, I have faith in him! That English Punk Anarchist c**t t**t s**t Head Cartwright is going to be DESTROYED!"
Staff Member Russo cackles like a loony as the crowd loudly boos him.
Crowd: "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"
Russo: "No I don't! I'm the best damn writer in the world! I saved the WWE all by myself! I saved WCW from Hulk Hogan's creative control! Everybody clap with me!"
Staff Member Russo begins to clap his hands together, one clap followed by two claps.
Russo: "RU-SSO ROCKS! RU-SSO ROCKS! RU-SSO ROCKS!"
Crowd: "******** OFF, RUSSO, ******** OFF! ******** OFF, RUSSO, ******** OFF!"
Staff Member Russo ignores the fans and Michael Roll. He continues to clap to himself, having a great time on his own like a sad loser.
Roll: "How long are you going to be a jack-a** for?"
Michael Roll knows that Staff Member Russo will always be a jack-a**.
Russo: "I'm not a jack-a** bro! Cartwright has brought this all on himself! If he just followed my amazing writing as planned then all of this could have been avoided! Now ******** of you s**t head, I have award winning stories to write!"
Michael Roll leaves the room as he hears Staff Member Russo scribbling down his latest genius idea.
MM #25 Match
The camera fades-in to show Staff Member Russo, writing some rubbish ideas on to a piece of paper. We know that they are rubbish because he is the worst writer in the world.
Russo: "....and then, Cartwright will be jobbed out to Hiro! Yes! That will be the ULTIMATE humiliation! I hate that Cartwright! He can lick my gooch and suck on deez nuts! Oh he's going to be sooooo mad! It's going to be so funny! I'm laughing already! Hahahaha!"
Staff Member Russo's insanity is interrupted by BBW Interviewer Michael Roll, who thinks that he is a top journalist just because he reported on a war once.
Roll: "Staff Member Russo, you must be so happy that Cartwright lost both of his matches at Solar Slam."
Staff Member Russo nods his head. He looks so very happy. He looks as happy as Hiro looks when he gets a new Pokemon card. That is so very happy. Almost orgasmic.
Russo: "I am! And I totally had nothing to do with either loss! I'm just a writer! I don't interfere in matches! That's not my job!"
Michael Roll shakes his head at such blatant lies, and he covered Bill Clinton's Presidential Campaign.
Roll: "Tonight, he is in a match with Xavier X under the Crimson Falls stipulation. Why would you book this?"
Staff Member Russo looks super excited to explain himself to Roll.
Russo: "Crimson Falls means that Cartwright will not only lose tonight, but he will be guaranteed to be lying in a pool of his own blood as well, because in order to win, the opponent must be bleeding before they can be pinned or forced to submit! Xavier X is going to get the job done, I have faith in him! That English Punk Anarchist c**t t**t s**t Head Cartwright is going to be DESTROYED!"
Staff Member Russo cackles like a loony as the crowd loudly boos him.
Crowd: "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"
Russo: "No I don't! I'm the best damn writer in the world! I saved the WWE all by myself! I saved WCW from Hulk Hogan's creative control! Everybody clap with me!"
Staff Member Russo begins to clap his hands together, one clap followed by two claps.
Russo: "RU-SSO ROCKS! RU-SSO ROCKS! RU-SSO ROCKS!"
Crowd: "******** OFF, RUSSO, ******** OFF! ******** OFF, RUSSO, ******** OFF!"
Staff Member Russo ignores the fans and Michael Roll. He continues to clap to himself, having a great time on his own like a sad loser.
Roll: "How long are you going to be a jack-a** for?"
Michael Roll knows that Staff Member Russo will always be a jack-a**.
Russo: "I'm not a jack-a** bro! Cartwright has brought this all on himself! If he just followed my amazing writing as planned then all of this could have been avoided! Now ******** of you s**t head, I have award winning stories to write!"
Michael Roll leaves the room as he hears Staff Member Russo scribbling down his latest genius idea.
