|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 3:52 pm
Name: Ren Nakahara Nickname: None Age: 17 Birthday: 10/4 Sign: Libra Gemstone: Opal Blood Type: B- Fav. Food: Real Ramen (not the microwaveable kind!), Bacon Cheeseburgers Hated Food: Tofu anything. School: Meadowview High Hobbies: Sports - Particularly track and baseball. He is a very active person and is always finding something to do in his spare time. If nothing else, he'll find somewhere he can jog or run. He uses running as a way to clear his head, or to think about something that can't seem to figure out any other way. He likes to play baseball because he enjoys being the center of attention, and he likes the cheering.
Drawing - He doesn't feel like he's that good, but he likes to doodle and has a sketchbook that he carries with him most places. He likes drawing places and scenery more than people, but he has been known to sketch people. He does have a tendency to use portrait sketches to flirt with girls. Virtues: Friendly - Ren is just that kind of guy that everyone likes. He's very outgoing and knows pretty much everyone. He doesn't differentiate between nerds, jocks, goths, preps, or anyone. He likes people because of who they are, not what they look like or what they're into. That being said, his closest friends do tend to be sporty/athletic or cheerleaders.
Diplomatic - Ren always seems to know exactly what to say in any situation. He's always been able to talk himself - and others - out of trouble, or into somewhere they might not supposed to be. He does try to use this power for good and not evil....but he is a teenage boy.
Confident - Just on the border of cocky, Ren is confident in everything he does. It comes from wanting to be the best in everything he sets his mind to, and usually succeeding. And when he doesn't succeed? It makes him try harder next time. Flaws: Competitive - While this isn't usually a terrible thing in someone as sporty as Ren, he can be competitive about anything and everything. He's always finding some way to turn whatever he's doing into a competition. Even if it's a competition with himself. He's usually a good sport whether he wins or loses, but his intensity can be annoying, or just too much for some people.
Reckless - He jumps into pretty much everything without thinking twice about the consequences. It's gotten him into a lot of trouble with his family, friends, and girlfriends. He almost never thinks about how his actions will affect others, and when he does it's nor for long. He thinks he'll be able to deal with the fallout so it doesn't matter what he does in the moment.
Over Protective - Especially of his stepsister, Chizuru. Their parents got married when the kids were young, so Ren grew up taking his job as Chi's big brother very seriously. When it comes to boys and Chizu, Ren can be very overprotective. He tries not to be smothering, but he wants her to be safe and happy. Sometimes he just can't help it. She is his little sister after all. Other than Chizu, he's protective of his friends - even the ones he doesn't know well. He hates bullying of all kinds, so when he sees it happening he tends to step in and do what he can to stop it. He doesn't want to come off as controlling, but he tends to try and "help" his friends make the "right" decisions, even if it's not necessarily what they want. PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION Eyes: Honey brown with a darker circle around them, this shapeHair: Longish, maybe midback, black with natural blue highlights in the sun. He keeps it in a messy ponytail most of the time. Face: Oval shape. Ovals are typically smaller than average on all measures. Oval faces are widest at the cheekbone and narrow through the forehead and jaw. Clothes: Student~
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:02 pm
Knight Title: Florence, Page of Venus Challenge: Let me show you my love! Uniform: Top -- Puffy sleeved poet shirt in white, under an orange (from the uniform swatch) tunic that comes to mid-thigh. Bottoms -- Tight gold pants tucked into his boots. Gloves -- No Belt -- No belt Shoes -- Knee high black bootsShoulders -- Nothing Accessories -- A necklace with the Venus charm, short but not quite a choker. Weapon -- Small Track Baton - Small Staff - Sansetsukon Page
Weapon: Small Track Baton
Just like the kind they use in relay races. It's probably not going to hurt much if he can get close enough to hit you with it, but it can be pretty distracting if thrown at your face.
Color can be CC. Ren likes more vibrant colors like reds and blues, but matching the Venus swatch would be okay too :3
Magic: N/A
Squire
Weapon: Small Staff
SImple, kind of breakable. Possibly a third of what will eventually become his Knight weapon so same color scheme.
Magic: Passion Spike
When his ally's strength is fading, Florence can channel his magic and aims at his ally. It causes them to feel a renewed passion for the battle and gives them an energy spike that can last as long as his magic is channeled. The time pool for this is 30 seconds.
Knight
Weapon: Sansetsukon, or Three-Section-Staff
Florence's is made of bamboo, but it's got a gold varnish and black metal connectors. Each section has the symbol of Venus carved into the middle and painted pink.
Magic: Passion Spike
Florence's Squire magic powers up and gives his ally a stronger spike of energy for up to 45 seconds. If the magic is interrupted, he can use it again for as long as the time pool lasts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:30 pm
Hello Strawberri! I'm here to leave some crit for you so you can get Summerland in working order. The civ side looks fairly good. You may want to change the wording of the "protective" virtue, because it reads a little double edged at this point; alternately, you could make an "overprotective" flaw and put in an extra virtue to flesh out the character. Now, for the Knight side, one things stands out to me is... Your Knight needs magic! I know the quest form doesn't explicitly call for it, but could you please outline your Knight's Squire and Knight magic? Naturally they won't have magic at Page stage. It would also be good to give descriptions of the weapons, as that would help the artist a bit. You can do something like this: Quote: Page- Weapon: [Weapon description] Magic: N/A Squire- Weapon: [Weapon description] Magic: [Magic description] Knight- Weapon: [Weapon description] Magic: [Magic description] When you have included your Knight's magic, let me know! Remember, it needs to fit with Venus's themes. If you have any questions or once you have made changes, quote me and I'll be back!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:50 pm
Sorry to quote you again! I just wanted to inform you that Summerland is not a valid wonder. Summerland is rooted in Wicca, which is not old enough for a Wonder (it must be around 1000 years old, minimum). Sorry for informing you late.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:58 pm
Okay! Thanks for letting me know :3 I'm hoping to get him fixed up tonight or tomorrow, so I'll add that to my list~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 4:49 pm
Okay~ I think I've got him all fixed. :3 Thanks <333
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 5:19 pm
Almost there! Knight magic has a set time pool that is channeled. A suggestion I have for rewiring the Knight magic is: "Venice channels his magic and aims it at an ally. They gain renewed passion for as long as the magic is channeled. The time pool for this magic is 30 seconds." So, basically, instead of having a buff that would be directed and then active for a set amount of time, the buff should be active for however long the time pool is, unless the magic is deactivated before the time pool is up (in which case the magic can be reactivated at another point until the time pool is up). I hope that makes sense. For time pools, I suggest 30 seconds for the Squire magic and 45 seconds for the Knight magic. Quote me when you're ready!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 5:44 pm
Think I got it ouo is that better? :3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 5:56 pm
Very good! Here's your stamp, and a GM will be by to give you further crit or a full stamp. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:31 pm
Hey, Strawberri! Sans one, itty bitty thing, everything about this profile looks great to me! I would love to drop a stamp (and will be doing so soon!) but before I can do that, there might need to be a tweak to his page weapon! While this weapon would be fine for a Nega's first stage (since they can start with more modernized items), a page's weapon is supposed to be timeless or something that could have reasonably existed close to a thousand years ago. Because graphite pencils are roughly dated back to five hundred years ago, I don’t think this will be eligible to be a proper knight weapon, sorry! If you'd like though, I think it would be all right if for his first stage you wanted to use the baton for his first stage, and then a single section of what would become the three sectioned staff for his second stage? That way his first stage weapon could still be relatively minimal in damage, but by second stage he could still have a solid chunk of wood to help him fight—and it would still be a logical progression into the three sectioned staff for his knight stage? Or, you could still keep the progression as is and come up with a different item for his page stage—please just let me know what you would like! If you have any questions, concerns, or make any changes, please quote me and I will be back as soon as possible!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:52 pm
Fixed 8'D I went with your first suggestion x3 Thank you!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:56 pm
You are awesome! (And I love your quest; he seems like he'll be a lot of fun! Good luck winning him!)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
