I've found it to be a new sort of love of mine when I write short prose, and I've been told I am pretty wicked at weaving first and second person together quite well. Just wondering how others felt about it? I'm currently also planning on making a longer project the same way, just for the hell of it.
Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 4:36 pm
Yutora
I've found it to be a new sort of love of mine when I write short prose, and I've been told I am pretty wicked at weaving first and second person together quite well. Just wondering how others felt about it? I'm currently also planning on making a longer project the same way, just for the hell of it.
I think it's distracting. Second person narrative is too personalized for a reader to enjoy. Rather than reading a story- I find myself being force fed.... That's just my opinion though. =p
I've found it to be a new sort of love of mine when I write short prose, and I've been told I am pretty wicked at weaving first and second person together quite well. Just wondering how others felt about it? I'm currently also planning on making a longer project the same way, just for the hell of it.
I think it's distracting. Second person narrative is too personalized for a reader to enjoy. Rather than reading a story- I find myself being force fed.... That's just my opinion though. =p
I get those, and I hate them. But that's when I love reading short prose where they weave it so neatly it's not actually about you and you are not forced into a role. So far, from my experience with writing in it, I have managed to stay clear of having someone tell me they felt like I forced a character onto them. Then again, I've never just used Second Person Narrative alone.
If pulled of correctly, and damn well, I feel it gives a fresh perspective, but I believe it is hard to do. Maybe that's why I try dabbling in it...
Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 5:56 pm
I enjoy placing little blurbs of 2nd person, but they're almost always tiny sections inside a first person narrative (Faux Start uses this, usually to express a societal observation (ie, "I find it ironic that the taller you are, the less socially acceptable it is for you to run.")).
Using 2nd person exclusively as a narrative style, well...I haven't yet seen a good one. I've seen some interesting 1st person plural ones, and I tried that for a story, but ultimately abandoned it. I might get back to it someday now that I have my tablet, but thanks to the language used at the start of it, it's really hard to just pick up in the middle of it.
I enjoy placing little blurbs of 2nd person, but they're almost always tiny sections inside a first person narrative (Faux Start uses this, usually to express a societal observation (ie, "I find it ironic that the taller you are, the less socially acceptable it is for you to run.")).
Using 2nd person exclusively as a narrative style, well...I haven't yet seen a good one. I've seen some interesting 1st person plural ones, and I tried that for a story, but ultimately abandoned it. I might get back to it someday now that I have my tablet, but thanks to the language used at the start of it, it's really hard to just pick up in the middle of it.
If you ever do get back to it, I'd be interested in reading it. I find second person, if done well, can be very...personal.
Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 6:28 pm
Yutora
LiaThistle
I enjoy placing little blurbs of 2nd person, but they're almost always tiny sections inside a first person narrative (Faux Start uses this, usually to express a societal observation (ie, "I find it ironic that the taller you are, the less socially acceptable it is for you to run.")).
Using 2nd person exclusively as a narrative style, well...I haven't yet seen a good one. I've seen some interesting 1st person plural ones, and I tried that for a story, but ultimately abandoned it. I might get back to it someday now that I have my tablet, but thanks to the language used at the start of it, it's really hard to just pick up in the middle of it.
If you ever do get back to it, I'd be interested in reading it. I find second person, if done well, can be very...personal.
I have FStart done. I just stopped posting it because I thought no one was reading it. sweatdrop Which is totally not what you were asking.
I could find it and post it at some point. Maybe tomorrow, as I think I know where it is.
I have FStart done. I just stopped posting it because I thought no one was reading it. sweatdrop Which is totally not what you were asking.
I could find it and post it at some point. Maybe tomorrow, as I think I know where it is.
Actually, I have been meaning to read your Faux Start story. I am just the kind of person that when I know it is a longer project, and the person is continuing to post it, that I have to have this certain kind of commitment to it. That probably makes absolutely no sense, I know, but that's how I work. But I will read it, I swear. And if I haven't by next Friday, quote me there and yell at me.
That usually works.
Anyway, cool! I'm excited to read it.
Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 6:44 pm
Yutora
LiaThistle
I have FStart done. I just stopped posting it because I thought no one was reading it. sweatdrop Which is totally not what you were asking.
I could find it and post it at some point. Maybe tomorrow, as I think I know where it is.
Actually, I have been meaning to read your Faux Start story. I am just the kind of person that when I know it is a longer project, and the person is continuing to post it, that I have to have this certain kind of commitment to it. That probably makes absolutely no sense, I know, but that's how I work. But I will read it, I swear. And if I haven't by next Friday, quote me there and yell at me.
That usually works.
Anyway, cool! I'm excited to read it.
I'm not gonna pressure anyone like that. I understand the time commitment thing; I've been procrastinating on getting back to someone on a larger project, to the point that next month marks around six months of procrastination. I do plan to get back to him, but...half the time, I forget I have it, the other half, the way he wants the critique formatted is too hard to do on a tablet.
Meh, on my own story. I stopped not only because it was hard to write (which is the primary reason), but I realized that the first person plural was the only thing about it that I hadn't seen done before, probably a half a dozen times. It'll be fun, though. You can point out to me all the tropes I used where I thought I was being original. 4laugh
Edit: Looks like it'll be Tuesday at the earliest, sorry.
Ah that is a very long time of procrastination. Are you...editing or just reading?
And that's okay. I got all the time in the world.
lol
Posted: Mon May 27, 2013 11:42 am
Yutora
LiaThistle
Ah that is a very long time of procrastination. Are you...editing or just reading?
And that's okay. I got all the time in the world.
lol
Editing, and it's a doozy. I have grammar, tenses, continuity, missing information, and even characterization issues (one of my early comments about it was that the females weren't acting like females; like, they were displaying near constant bravado, high competitiveness in mate selection, and similar things that are very much masculine associated behaviors). So, by the time I get it back to him, each page he wrote is probably going to have two pages of corrections/questions/issues, minimum. In a genre I'm not fond of, too. gonk It is, however, something I haven't seen done before, so kudos to him for that.
Ah that is a very long time of procrastination. Are you...editing or just reading?
And that's okay. I got all the time in the world.
lol
Editing, and it's a doozy. I have grammar, tenses, continuity, missing information, and even characterization issues (one of my early comments about it was that the females weren't acting like females; like, they were displaying near constant bravado, high competitiveness in mate selection, and similar things that are very much masculine associated behaviors). So, by the time I get it back to him, each page he wrote is probably going to have two pages of corrections/questions/issues, minimum. In a genre I'm not fond of, too. gonk It is, however, something I haven't seen done before, so kudos to him for that.
What genre, I'm curious now? Did you know which it was beforehand or no? What's wrong with females not acting like females? I find those to be rather interesting. In one of the books I'm reading there is a character that is female but neither looks nor acts like one, yet still she's my favourite character; also, throughout the book she gets referred to as he. But holy s**t, you've got a lot of work ahead then. How long is the piece itself, what you have of it at least?
Posted: Mon May 27, 2013 1:06 pm
Yutora
LiaThistle
Yutora
LiaThistle
Ah that is a very long time of procrastination. Are you...editing or just reading?
And that's okay. I got all the time in the world.
lol
Editing, and it's a doozy. I have grammar, tenses, continuity, missing information, and even characterization issues (one of my early comments about it was that the females weren't acting like females; like, they were displaying near constant bravado, high competitiveness in mate selection, and similar things that are very much masculine associated behaviors). So, by the time I get it back to him, each page he wrote is probably going to have two pages of corrections/questions/issues, minimum. In a genre I'm not fond of, too. gonk It is, however, something I haven't seen done before, so kudos to him for that.
What genre, I'm curious now? Did you know which it was beforehand or no? What's wrong with females not acting like females? I find those to be rather interesting. In one of the books I'm reading there is a character that is female but neither looks nor acts like one, yet still she's my favourite character; also, throughout the book she gets referred to as he. But holy s**t, you've got a lot of work ahead then. How long is the piece itself, what you have of it at least?
Urban Zombie Apocalypse/Fantasy, and I knew beforehand. I didn't know the level of writing, nor the length (which I don't remember, but I want to say it's two dozen pages). I find nothing wrong with females not acting like females, when they're designed that way. His aren't, and while reading certain sections, it felt more like reading a bunch of guys talking. xp He's gotten better since, then, by quite a bit.
Urban Zombie Apocalypse/Fantasy, and I knew beforehand. I didn't know the level of writing, nor the length (which I don't remember, but I want to say it's two dozen pages). I find nothing wrong with females not acting like females, when they're designed that way. His aren't, and while reading certain sections, it felt more like reading a bunch of guys talking. xp He's gotten better since, then, by quite a bit.
Oh, although I adore Zombie films, I am not all that into Zombie writings. Anyway, damn woman. How do you manage? I could never go through a genre I do not like, and especially not it it has more than three pages--haha. I am so awful, I would have just said no instead of giving it a try. And now I get you with your complaint about the females.
Posted: Mon May 27, 2013 7:16 pm
Yutora
LiaThistle
Urban Zombie Apocalypse/Fantasy, and I knew beforehand. I didn't know the level of writing, nor the length (which I don't remember, but I want to say it's two dozen pages). I find nothing wrong with females not acting like females, when they're designed that way. His aren't, and while reading certain sections, it felt more like reading a bunch of guys talking. xp He's gotten better since, then, by quite a bit.
Oh, although I adore Zombie films, I am not all that into Zombie writings. Anyway, damn woman. How do you manage? I could never go through a genre I do not like, and especially not it it has more than three pages--haha. I am so awful, I would have just said no instead of giving it a try. And now I get you with your complaint about the females.
Because I'm one of those wacky people who tries and tries to follow through on any commitment I make. sweatdrop It may not be when you want it, but dammit, I'll try to do it if I say I will.
That being said...any blurbs you're gonna post with this 2nd person stuff? You know, the things we were talking about before I hijacked this thread, too? xd
Urban Zombie Apocalypse/Fantasy, and I knew beforehand. I didn't know the level of writing, nor the length (which I don't remember, but I want to say it's two dozen pages). I find nothing wrong with females not acting like females, when they're designed that way. His aren't, and while reading certain sections, it felt more like reading a bunch of guys talking. xp He's gotten better since, then, by quite a bit.
Oh, although I adore Zombie films, I am not all that into Zombie writings. Anyway, damn woman. How do you manage? I could never go through a genre I do not like, and especially not it it has more than three pages--haha. I am so awful, I would have just said no instead of giving it a try. And now I get you with your complaint about the females.
Because I'm one of those wacky people who tries and tries to follow through on any commitment I make. sweatdrop It may not be when you want it, but dammit, I'll try to do it if I say I will.
That being said...any blurbs you're gonna post with this 2nd person stuff? You know, the things we were talking about before I hijacked this thread, too? xd
You are too great. When I get lazy with getting back to someone...I don't get back to them with the actual work but with a "please do go ahead and strangle me but I can't do this. I give you permission to murder me." But it's really kind of you.
Uh...this is the first time I plan on doing a longer project by mixing first and second person, so I have no clue how that will turn out. Usually I fluff it up with glorious imagery, can't do that here or it will be completely bullshit simply put. But here...my touchpad is broken! Do you know how hard it was to try and copy that?! ;o;
Being a coward that is what it all boiled down to.
I don’t know when I started becoming so incredibly stupid, but it was you. I swore it was you walking down the street with that colourful coat wrapped tightly around you; you know, the one I constantly told you to throw away? Maybe it was when logic got destroyed and rationality no longer started weaving its way through my system. Somewhere along the line, I started fading, and it scared me shitless.
The blind hope of it really being you, of me really being able to brush my fingers through your hair and hear your laugh, made my heart jump. Dreams had long turned into nightmares. I stopped seeing you smiling and safe, and I’d wake up just wanting to touch you so badly it hurt. So when that flash of your brilliant red hair, that stupid colourful coat that had always been awful looking turned the corner, and the traces of the laugh I figured I knew so well rang and vanished, I responded.
My mind stopped immediately, there was no thinking.
The red light Jake had stopped at switched to green, he hit the gas and I jumped out of the car as it sped down the busy street. I heard him swear, I heard him scream my name, but I couldn’t stop. I ran, and continued to run, trying to catch up with the one person I’d lost so long ago...you. I sped down the sidewalk, bumping into people that yelled at me, but nothing mattered.
I rounded the corner, the flash of your hair just a few more feet away. Surprised pedestrians blurted out angry slurs of either shock or plain incredulity. You were so close, I couldn’t stop myself. When I finally caught up, I lurched forward and tackled you to the asphalt...It was the dumbest moment of my life.
“Get off me you ********!” It wasn’t your voice. The person thrashed underneath me and I scrambled back, trying to get up and bumping into Jake. “What the hell was that!” the person screamed, jumping to their feet and staring me down. He didn’t look like you at all, the features were all rough and his skin too smooth.
The frantic pounding in my chest hurt, the tears stung more than they should. It wasn’t you I chased, but it was you I saw. “I--I thought...” My voice broke. I couldn’t respond anymore, so I stayed silent. The bitter disappointment ran deep, and the shame rendered my vocal cords useless. I could do nothing but fight the tears and stare at the crowd gathering around, and feel Jake squeeze my shoulder.
How could I think it was you, when I was the one who took your life?
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