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[Q] Sailor Sabine, Senshi of Tactics

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Torvil

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:04 pm


Civilian: HERE!

Senshi: Sailor Sabine, Senshi of Tactics

Challenge: My plans with defeat you!

Fuku Colour:
Main Color: #ff0000
Secondary Color: #7F6B00

Fuku:
Collar -- Standard Sailor collar in Main color with two thin stripes in Secondary Color
Bow -- Large butt bow, with two side bows.
Bodice -- Military Style Corset with over jacket
Sleeves -- sleeves of the over-jacket should extend to mid-forearm.
Brooch -- Circular brooch with a smaller secondary circle embossed in the center.
Bottoms -- Knee length pleated skirt.
Tiara -- Silver tiara.
Choker -- Cloth choker.
Shoes -- Knee length Combat Boots
Gloves -- Wrist length leather gloves
Accessories -- Small circle stud earrings, silver

Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack:
Tactical Insertion
Sabine touches an ally and give them a short command (no more than a sentence, i.e. “Run to that lamp post!” or “Sprint to that wall!”) to go somewhere within 5 feet. As long as the ally obeys her order and heads to specified location, they cannot be seen or heard by the enemy until they arrive at their destination. If they run into someone, the magic is broken and they can be seen. The magic is also broken if they deviate from the command given (walk instead of run, go left instead of right, etc.). Sabine must touch an ally within 30 seconds or forfeit the use of her ability.
Pros:
Can get people where they are needed in a fight.
Keeps people from being seen or heard – allowing for mid-fight ambushes.
Cons:
Short Duration – “Invisibility” and “Silence” only last as long as directions are followed and everything goes according to plan.
Things might not go according to plan.
Use:
Three times a fight.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Tactical Shift
Sabine touches up to two allies and gives them a command (no more than a sentence, i.e. “Run to that lamp post!” or “Sprint to that wall!”) to go somewhere within 8 feet. As long as the ally obeys her order and heads to specified location, they cannot be seen or heard by the enemy until they arrive at their destination. However, they can still be touched (which will break the magic) and are still able to be hit by AOE attacks. Sabine must touch an ally within 45 seconds or forfeit the use of her ability.
Pros:
Gets allies out of harm’s way.
Cons:
Short Duration – “Invisibility” and “Silence” only last as long as they are retreating
Use:
Three times a fight.

Eternal Sailor Attack:
Tactical Strike
Sabine focuses on up to three allies and gives them a command to attack a single target ("The Officer with the Red Hat!" - there must be some sort of descriptor, the more specific the better, but it can't be longer than one sentence. As before it is a spoken command.) These allies remain unseen and unheard by the target for up to a minute, however, once they are within five feet of the target, the magic dispels and they are visible again. The magic also dispels if they move beyond 10 feet from Sabine. If the allies chose to not attack the marked target, the magic also dispels. The magic will also dispel if they are attacked by another enemy, or if another enemy alerts the target to their location. Sabine must chose an ally within one minute or forfeit the use of her power.
Pros:
Generate a quick micro ambush on a single high profile target.
Allow allies to reposition themselves on the battlefield to better take down a single high power enemy
Cons:
Short Duration – must move into position and attack quickly.
Can be seen my other enemies and have their target warned.
Use:
Once a fight.
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 11:44 pm


-REVISED AS OF 1/9/2015-

Torvil

Noble Explorer

11,875 Points
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Eos Galvus

Shadowy Celebrant

PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 3:02 pm


Torvil


Hey Torvil! Congratulations on your win!

Unfortunately, Sabine's sphere and attack are currently not authorized under the shop guidelines - Artillery is a weapon sphere, and Senshi can not have weapon-based spheres under shop guidelines.

Secondly, her cannons would not be acceptable either - Spheres and visuals should be 1000 years plus old.

One sphere option you may want to consider is Siege Warfare, which will allow you to keep the attacks intact. The cannons will also need to change from cannons to catapults or trebuchets, and her attacks also need the range of the AoE added as well as the limits for her damage: EG a 6 foot diameter circle with an attack causing scrapes and bruises at basic, evolving to cuts and bruises at super in a 7 foot diameter circle, ETC. If you go this route, you may want to consider adjusting "Targetting" time, although, catapults and trebuchets both would only aim in a general direction, so you should consider bringing aiming down to a 30-45 second cap.

Alternatively, if you need assistance with another sphere and are flexible with design and sphere ideas I'd be more than happy to toss some ideas your way!

Drop me a quote when you're ready for a second look so we can get her stamped!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 4:40 pm


Hi! Not a mod (duh) but I'm poking in b/c your description of the damage Sabine can do is concerning to me. Cherry bombs are illegal in the united states b/c they are very, very dangerous. people have gotten serious burns off them and lost fingers/hands/eyes. (Here's an image of the damage done by a similar firework to a piece of plywood) Maybe instead of using this illegal explosive as an example you could list off what effects you imagine the attack having, specifically? Like I could see a basic senshi level attack causing light burns, but definitely NOT cherry bomb level burns (since, again, they're pretty deadly).

Also, the links in your uniform description are broken (they keep pulling up blank pages for me). Maybe double-check them for when you get her?

Good luck!

shibrogane

Stellar Lightbringer


Torvil

Noble Explorer

11,875 Points
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 8:33 pm


NovaCracker


Thank you so much for your crit! I was a bit worried, admittedly, that I was pushing it with her sphere! I did have a back up in the wings - thankfully - but if this one doesn't work I am more than willing to take any and all suggestions you might have!

I went ahead and reworked her with the back up sphere I had in mind and tweaked her design slightly to accomidate the changes. Hopefully this works?

Thanks again!

shibrogane


Thank you so much for your assistance! I had completely forgotten how much damage those little things do! I went ahead and tweaked her sphere so she should be in accordance with the shops rules now!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 9:47 pm


Torvil


Hey Torvil, thanks for the prompt reply. The sphere is a great choice and looks fun!

For her attacks, I do have some concerns to address, but we're marching ever closer to that stamp!

Her basic is good, however the range is a bit too high for a basic level senshi. Basic AoE effects only last 5-6 feet at maximum in a radius; especially if the ally is invisible and cannot be heard without the magic being disrupted. I would also ct the duration down to 30 seconds, for growing room and to fit with other basic attacks. I DO like the basis of this attack, so we're just getting it polished and ready for use!

Her Super attack is meant to be an upgraded version of her Basic - increasing the radiua 1-2 feet and maybe allowing her to affect two people. You can also up her opportunity window/duration to 45 seconds here without any problems.

Currently, Sabine's eternal is not going to fly. Maintaining the Tactical bonus is great, however the way it seems to operate now doesn't allow for the target to resist - ideally in an attack we prefer avoiding these situations, however, it is fine to have Sabine give an attack command if it's similar to the Basic and Super attacks provided it is not forced (EG: No free will to ignore the command). It's fine if ignoring it BREAKS the magic - disspell conditions are great - but forcing someone to attack won't work - you can make it so working in the limitations of the magic is fine to allow sneaking is a smart choice, but forcing someone to attack without choice won't work.

If you need any help, I'm happy to toss ideas if you want other ideas, but it's coming along well. Once you've made modifications and adjustments just drop me a quote again and we'll keep going for a stamp!

Eos Galvus

Shadowy Celebrant


Torvil

Noble Explorer

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 7:32 am


NovaCracker


Okay! So I tweaked her attacks in regards to your guidelines - the only thing I tweaked beyond that was doubling her "range" per stage - if I need to shave it down a little bit more let me know and I'll polish accordingly.

I completely reworked her Eternal and went ahead and let it dispel the magic once they got within 5 feet. This should make it easier for an opponent to be able to defend themselves (though to be fair going 3:1 is still going to suck!)

Also added a few more dispel conditions and reworked some old ones!

Thanks again!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 8:50 am


Torvil


Hey Torvil! Thanks for being so patient and we're almost there I promise!

Basic looks great! No more adjustments are needed!

For her super, as an "uograde" to her basic, while it can be used for a tactical retreat, it would function as the basic did - Simply obey the order (Run to that wall!) etc, and can range up to 7-8 feet away from Sabine to fit in shop guidelines. Alternatively if you wish, you may adjust the basic for a smaller retreat. I see where you're going with the Super, and I like it, but we want to keep things within guidelines - and adjusting the basic for another runner is fine, though I strongly recommend adjusting her super for more flexibility like her basic. It's all up to you which route to take.!

The Eternal attack range would need dropping to about half - 10 feet is a good range for positioning a micro-ambush as needed. Also, since she's targetting three allies, it's okay to remove the touch element and instead focus on them, using the basic attack guideline that they follow orders exactly as given.

That's all - just some minor adjustments! Just quote me again when you're ready, and thank you again for being so patient while we get Sabine ready for play! I know you must be excited! smile

Eos Galvus

Shadowy Celebrant


Torvil

Noble Explorer

11,875 Points
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:16 pm


NovaCracker


Went ahead and made the change you suggested - Did change the name of her second ability to match what it does better than before!

Thank you again!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:39 pm


Torvil


Hey Torvil! ONE last crit, is that in her Eternal, I'd like to know if the command is issued orally?

That's my only question, mostly to clarify!

Eos Galvus

Shadowy Celebrant


Torvil

Noble Explorer

11,875 Points
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:06 pm


NovaCracker


I went ahead and edited for clarity, but yes, like before the command is issued orally.

Hope that helps!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:14 pm


Torvil


That it does! Congratulations again and a GM will be along soon! Here's your stamp!

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Eos Galvus

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Torvil

Noble Explorer

11,875 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Survivor 150
  • Team Jacob 100
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:40 pm


NovaCracker


Thank you so much! You were a huge help getting her properly sorted out!
PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 6:56 pm


Hey there Torvil! Sabine looks good to me! Please enjoy playing her and have a STAMP!

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Orangeish Sherbert

Rebel Millionaire

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