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Homestuck inspired troll related b/c 

Tags: homestuck, troll, breedables, mspa, alternia 

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[Q] Zariah Rutace - Orange Blood [accepted]

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LordPocky

Cunning Codger

PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:10 pm


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show. Name: Zariah Rutace

Blood colour: #cb3e20

Gender: Male

Symbol: Double triangles

Personality: A bit of a coward, Zariah isn't the brave sibling, not at all. While Keionx enjoys adventure and excitement, Zariah would much rather read about it. His twin's harrowing tales of heroics incited him to become enthralled in adventures in his own way, taking to writing about them rather than living them. He isn't too keen on running headlong into danger, so the fact that his twin does and brings him back stories is enough for him. Zariah handles the house warming, while Keionx is out he takes care of the house. Tending to their hive was at first a troublesome feat, for while he lives there he has to make the trek up and down the steep, traitorous mountain alone, rather than simply ride the back of his lusus. Eventually after doing it often enough he becomes accustomed to the trek up the mountain, though there are trails around the house still insurmountable. Zariah takes it upon himself to clean their hive, gather food, cook it, feed their lusus, and wash their clothing. There are times he feels resentful for always handling the chores, but with a seemingly endless supply of stories he often forgets his indignation.

Back when Zariah was on his own with his own lusus in Old Hemisect he used to live in an old amphitheater. Like every old building in the area he was the resident of a haunted hive, and like all other haunted hives it had its own lore. The story of his hive was that it was haunted by a curse and the tortured ghosts that were killed by it. Legend has it that during a certain, unnamed play that was very popular for performances, should anyone utter the name of the play disaster would strike (*coughs*Macbeth*coughs*). It was claimed that many people had died over the course of the play before it was finally shut down, never to be used again. That made it the perfect hive for little Zariah, once the city became abandoned Zariah and his lusus made themselves a happy little home. The stories never bothered him, Zariah was never terribly superstitious and instead the stories (As well as any other abandoned building's ghost lore) simply made for fuel for wonderful ghost stories.

Zariah's lusus (Unlike Kei's) was far more docile and relaxed, while Kei's lusus would cart her around for adventures, his own would curl up with him at home or putter around the house doing small chores...something Zari himself was more partial to. Because of this rather lax nature in both troll and lusus, the quiet Old Hemisect suited them just fine, not only that, but whenever the two went for walks (Something his lusus demanded to keep Zariah at least somewhat moving) they occasionally found books or plays in abandoned book stores, libraries, or theaters. These were much easier for Zariah to get his hands on than any more modern game other kids played. Perhaps it was his early introduction to literature that spawned his fondness of fiction.

While he first began his writing and story-telling (Often telling these over campfires with any other small children of Old Hemisect) with horror, he later moved on to adventure. When he moved to Busthind Mountain he found himself needing to meet an entirely new group of friends, leaving the trolls he knew from Old Hemisect behind with the rest of his old life. Most of Zariah's new friends are fans of FLARPing, however, he does still hold campfires to tell horror stories to any that'll listen.

Strengths:
Clever
"Ohhh, so true. See, I'm pretty quick on the uptake. Well...at least when I have my head on straight. I'll admit that sometimes in times of mental anguish I can be a bit of a blockhead, but for the most part I'm pretty damn sharp. Just like how I depend on Kei's strength, she depends on my wits. Sometimes there's a hard case and....well she isn't much of a detective. Honestly, it's the only time she really actually asks for help is when she needs some kind of answer she can't work out. Like her FLARPing group too, no one else could keep up with a changing storyline of a game so they couldn't get a good DM.....but well, she convinced me to take over."

Something Zariah takes great pride in is his wit. While he may not be the smartest wiggler, he still knows that he's pretty damn keen, he would obviously make a much better sleuth than his sister. Zari's sharpness is best shown when he is presented with an actual problem, in those cases he eagerly puts his mind towards a solution for those sorts of problems...usually aiming for solutions that require little to no physical exertion. Though, as he isn't the best read troll, it isn't unheard of for him to come across difficult situations. However, a great deal of any books he found as a wiggler were purely recreational, leaving him with little knowledge about the real world and even less experience dealing with it.

Resilient
"After beast-dad died I felt like a piece of myself died along with him....and I mean....I know it's weird, but I was really going to miss my lusus. I knew I should've worried more for myself than about my lusus....but still, I mean, the rate of a wiggler's survival after his lusus dies is staggeringly low, but I was still going to miss him. For the rest of my obviously short life that is....until I met Kei. At first I missed beast-dad really bad and was terrified that either I or Kei's lu-...our lusus would be the next to snuff it, but I realized Kei was stronger than that....okay, maybe she's kind of hot-headed, but she's strong. I guess I kind of realized you don't need to have blue blood to be strong, and even though my blood is low on the spectrum I realize I could be stronger....better! And I will. I'm going to grow up big and strong and kick all the butts of jerks like the Empress!"

Zariah has had his fair shares of low points, being born as a lower blood caste he's frequently been treated to the short end of the stick, his lusus being taken from him certainly being one of the lowest moments in his young life. However, from all these lows he still picks himself back up. Though he's aware he isn't the strongest, smartest, or in any way best (Or even close to) troll he refuses to stay down when hit with adversity or pressure from above. With all his plans for his future (All a very rough idea so far) he knows he won't be able to make a difference if he doesn't fight harder to stubbornly get where he needs to be.

Creative
"Wow, you don't even know how right this is, see, I LOVE writing. It's like....my passion. Okay, so I had a really bad writers block when beast-dad died.....but Kei made for some pretty interesting ideas for stories. For a while I would just write down ideas when they came to my mind, but now that I've got my mojo back I've been turning a lot of my story ideas into FLARPing scenarios. It isn't my favorite method of story-telling....but it's the only way of getting Kei to actually read my friggen stories...."

Not only is it a passion of his, but it is also a talent. Though Zariah may seem to be rather boastful about his stories, it is in part because they're fairly decent. But, to no surprise of his, most don't like to read a wriggler's stories. Though they have good ideas his writing is still a little childish, something he can improve with age. For not though, he spends most of his time plotting for FLARPing campaigns.

Well Spoken
"Well, my career as a writer (Okay, so maybe my books were never published, but they're good! You should read them!) I've acquired quite the way with words. I mean, one of the things about being a good writing is having a good vocabulary, another is being able to make an interesting character, and another is knowing how characters would react to different situations. Now, I will admit I'm sometimes at a loss for words....but when that happens I just pretend to be one of my characters and I can always find the words."

Perhaps it's simply his vernacular, perhaps it's inspiration from characters he writes, or perhaps it's just a silver tongue. One way or another, Zariah is quite good with words. He can often find the right words for the right situation, which in his mind will be how he can help rebel against the Empress. Maybe some day he can use his skill with words to help gather more to take down the empress.

Flaws:
Cowardly
"RUDE! Okay, so maybe I'm not as 'brave' as Kei, but I'm also not as gullible or brash. She leaps before looking and well....I just....look before leaping. A lot...and usually I decide not to leap....."

When given the option to stand and fight or run like a coward....Zariah will book it, no questions. He likes to think it's because he knows there's no fist-fight he can win (Unless maybe he was fighting someone without fists....that could work), however it's highly likely it's just because he's such a natural chicken. With all his big talk about wanting to be stronger and wanting to go against the Empress, it's entirely possible it's just because he doesn't want to be scared of virtually everything any more. Zariah finds himself easily scared off by other trolls (And so many other things) and deals with it by either hiding behind his lusus or twin until they seem less threatening.

Free-Thinker
"Haa haa! Now this is one I will never contest; yes, I am VERY free-minded. I mean, when you look at the inequality in our species it makes no sense. You see, the 'highbloods' are strong, live long, and are more powerful than us, right? WRONG! You see those of the lower hemospectrum have powers that highbloods are far less likely to have. So when there are lowbloods that can fly or control fire....how does that make us the weak ones? In addition to that; their strength comes from a certain level of aggression, but they still NEED lowbloods, we lowbloods make far better moirails to strong fools. They need us to keep them in check, you see? Besides, they never know true hardship, how can they be truly strong when they never know the fear and difficulty of having to climb up from the bottom?"

Such an individual mind as his isn't something welcome to a hive-mind, when everyone is supposed to believe a very firm set of rules it isn't normal for someone like him who wants to go against the grain. While he hates how things are run and wants change, he's clever enough to know better. Zariah knows to keep his mouth shut about how malcontent his is in his lot in life. However, sometimes his mouth moves faster than his brain, in those cases he just hopes it isn't a highblood he's lipping off to.

Dependant
"I....guess this is sort of true....between being coddled by my previous lusus and being sheltered by Kei I don't really wind up having to do a lot for myself. My lusus always encouraged me to do things that I'd be safe with like reading, and Kei....well I think she just wants to protect me from everything so I guess....I've never really had to protect myself or do anything I never really wanted."

While Zariah may be clever, he isn't well versed in the ways of the world, Zari is still a young troll and any difficulties he's ever encountered would often be solved by his lusus (While he was alive) or Kei. This could be a reason behind his cowardice, afraid to take on problems on his own when his sister or lusus would usually never make him. Unfortunately, Zariah isn't exactly keen on learning new things anyway, much more comfortable letting others protect and take care of them.

Weak
"Well that's a little harsh....I mean, okay so I have about all the physical strength of a soggy towel, and okay, so maybe my sister could easily kick my a**, and okay, maybe most trolls could.....but....er....actually I've got nothing. Harsh or not, I suppose it's true. My physical strength is nothing impressive, I have a hard time opening the doors to our hive....which, oh, did Kei forget to mention this to you? Because she sure did to me! Our doors are all weighted! All the doors are about 50 lbs! Fair? I think not..."

Zariah isn't the most durable troll, though he one day dreams to fight the empire he doesn't have the body for it. He likes to think that maybe one day he'll get big and strong....but he isn't terribly fond of working out, half the time he even leaves stoppers in the door so he doesn't have to open them. Of course, when she's home Keionx removes them and forces him to work out his muscles. When not forced to work out, however, he avoids it like the plague. He would much rather exercise his brain than his body.

Weapon: A magnificent feather-beast's quill. The pen is truly mightier than the sword.

Appearance: That que-tea-3.14 on the side c:

Home:
Old Hemisect
His old home in Old Hemisect was an abandoned amphitheater, it was a very spacious 'hive' where he lived alone with his lusus. He was relatively popular with other wigglers that lived near him, campfires being an often past time for them. Of course with his hive being so spacious he would often let others stay over....if they didn't mind the lack of recoopercoon. Zari's own recoopercoon was in the old dressing rooms, choosing the biggest for his bedroom....not only was there space there were often old props he could play with or use as props for his stories.
Busthind Mountain
When he moved to Busthind Mountain his hive was vastly different. All the doors were weighted with detachable weights (Which were too heavy for him to lift off), making it hard for him to open doors. If he had to push a door open he wouldn't be able to open it, but pulling it he could get leverage to pry it open enough to slip through. Because of his difficulty with the doors he had to invest in a lot of door stops to hold them open. Though...Kei would often remove them. The front hall in the house was made to be a treadmill, turning on automatically whenever the front door opened, thus anyone that wanted to enter would have to run to the end of the treadmill first....this makes Zari very uneager to leave the house. As for the halls, all the halls had motion sensors, set to release traps around the house. Sometimes it's as small as an urn being pushed off a bookcase...other times a tripwire being pulled taut ahead of the walker.....and sometimes to floors pulling away to leave only a narrow path to balance on. Zari often winds up bruised by urns and falling on his face....and thankfully the floors pulling away don't lead that far down, only dropping to the first floor or several feet underground.

Lusus:
Pre-accident
His original lusus was very calm and relaxed, quite likely an older hoofbeast to take on a troll. This lusus tended to steer Zari away from trouble and difficulty, protecting him in his own way. Because of this Zari took up hobbies that didn't require anything too active, things like reading, writing, story-telling, walks, or playing dress-up with the old outfits at the amphitheater (Which NEVER HAPPENED).
Post-accident
Kei's lusus seemed far younger, much more active and ready to run around with Keionx. This lusus would also try to pamper Zariah, but with two trolls it was a much harder feat, especially with Keionx loving to go out on adventures. Although this hoofbeast loved Zariah like his own trolls....Zariah didn't have as close a relationship with him. Kei was far closer to this lusus, while Zari still kept to old hobbies trained in him with his old lusus.

Power: None.

The RP contest can be found here
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 11:28 pm


Hey Pocky! Sypon crit time!

Personality:

“While a complicated feat at first he learned to adapt, perhaps the most difficult part of it being that he would have to climb the mountain by himself, rather than simply ride the back of his lusus.”

This sentence comes out of nowhere with no context and is pretty awkwardly worded. Fortunately, this is the only spot I was really confused about! Hooray!

Does Zariah enjoy handling all of the household chores? Seems like he’s got a load on his plate while Keionx gets to go out on her own whims, but if he lives vicariously through her so intensely that her telling him tales is payment enough, then that’s different. Some elaboration on that aspect of their relationship would be swell.

Obviously the backstory for Zariah stems from your entry, in which his lusus died and he was taken in by Keionx’s, but I’m struggling with how his history in Old Hemisect adds to his personality enough to warrant the big backstory you supply. It doesn’t really give me an idea as to how it affected Zariah—especially because, from what I can tell, all it did was give him inspiration for ghost stories, which he then proceeded to dislike due to his own brush with horror. It’s important information, but right now I’m not getting the point very easily—and his writer’s block seems to sort of just be brushed off. If his creativity really was grown from his first home, I don’t get a sense of its importance.

As well, you never directly state anything about his current place of living, as though he doesn’t live there yet. Even if he just moved into Busthind, a transition would be good.

In general, I would include the details of the backstory you created in the rehoming– let this application stand alone, rather than be a supplement to the contest entry. It will definitely help the clarity of the piece, and be easier for us to crit so we don’t have to keep referring back!

Consider these questions as well when returning to your application to flesh out Zariah (you don’t need to answer them point for point; they’re just jumping off places)

- How has Zariah’s lusus affected him personally? Prior to his first lusus’ death, what was their relationship and how did it rub of on his traits and personality? Is his new lusus the same or different? Does he share a similar lifestyle that he did before?
- If Zariah doesn’t particularly enjoy homemaking as a hobby, does he have other hobbies to entertain himself? I see in his Clever strength he has been introduced to FLARPing, for instance. How else does he go out to socialize, particularly on the mountain?
- Make sure you include his views on the hemospectrum here so I don’t have to piece it together from his strengths/flaws! There are some hobbies and important personality traits that I’m just learning about below his actual personality section.

Strengths/Weaknesses:

Clever: The way you’ve written this I’m not sure if he’s witty or intelligent. Particularly because you describe him as not “the smartest wiggler”, but then in solving problems or keeping up with a changing storyline of a FLARP group he seems like a pretty smart fellow. At least, he seems like he can solve problems very easily – which is a very analytical trait. Is he a puzzle-solver but fails at academic or social intelligence? Defining how exactly he’s sharp-witted (and how he’s not “the smartest”) will be helpful here, because it’s a little mushy right now.

Cowardly: Cowardly is a trait that’s tough because it’s a survival technique that can be considered a strength—particularly when one is only cowardly when things get violent. Is he afraid of this physical threat or is he a coward in general – of those who socially intimidate him, of trying new things? Or, if it’s only physical, is his cowardice so bad that he will always ditch those he cares about in a time of need?

Free-Thinker: Just because this trait is unacceptable in troll society doesn’t mean it’s going to negatively affect Zariah himself day to day (or, night to night c: ). Especially if he knows to keep his mouth shut; how then does this make life harder for him, particularly if other trolls don’t notice? If he blabs all over the place and can’t help but be a grouch, that would definitely be a flaw that may endanger him, but if he just has angry thoughts that no one knows about then there’s not really a difference. As it stands, this is not really that much of a flaw.

Rebellious: How does Zariah act upon his rebelliousness? Again, if his rebellious attitude is just in his head and he doesn’t do anything to act upon it, then it’s not a compelling disadvantage to him as a character. The way you’ve written this also doesn’t read as a flaw, and in fact reads very similar to Free-Thinker. I would combine the two, personally, but if you can find a way to differentiate them and make them both more negative flaws, then go ahead.

Weak: (Remember that in troll culture there’s not much differentiating male and female trolls in anatomy or status, so the “most girls could” comment is a little out of character for the context of the matriarchal Alternia)

Comparatively to his hive and his sister’s expectations, Zariah is weak, but based upon his needed to climb mountains and open these 50 lb doors by himself it doesn’t seem like he’s comparatively that shrimpy. Just make sure we get a sense of how this is truly a weakness, and one that affects him daily!

Home: Remember, one’s living space tells a lot about one’s personality! You mention weighted doors and housecleaning and that piqued my interest—even the fact that the hive is in Busthind is interesting enough to warrant questions about the living space, or how they’re living on or near the mountain. Elaborate! Especially consider that two trolls are living together, which is a rarity. How have the twins affected the space, particularly with their radically different personalities?

Lusus: Elaborate on this as well. How has hoofbeast-dad affected Zariah? How has Hoofbeastdad version 1.0 affected Zariah? What does he look like? How does he act? What’s the relationship between the two?

Sypon
Vice Captain


LordPocky

Cunning Codger

PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:53 pm


Sypon

Okay.....I THINK I got everything......and made him much more wordy all 'round 8I;;;;; I've added more to his lusus and hives....I may think of more horribly mean things to put in their hive later.....but that's it for now xD;;;;
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:16 am


uncert pic emotion_kirakira
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

crit to come

amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin


LordPocky

Cunning Codger

PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:20 am


amicableAggressor

Is the crit still coming? c:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:15 am


LordPocky
amicableAggressor

Is the crit still coming? c:
otl thank you for reminding me, it is now

amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin


amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin

PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:38 am


Tending to their hive was at first a troublesome feat, for while he lived there he would have to make the trek up and down the steep, traitorous mountain alone, rather than simply ride the back of his lusus. <- why is this written in past tense? have things changed since then?

as i wasn't one of the judges for the event, i haven't seen the story written about the two trolls, and a lot of this profile is a little confusing. (why did his lusus die? how did he find his sister?) i'd recommend linking to the original entry here and putting it in his journal eventually/linking it in his journal, if you'd rather not have to re-write the explanation.


inexperienced - will this trait stay as he ages up? it seems like it's pretty conditional to his current age, as most wigglers are sheltered by their lusus in one way or another. remember to have something to replace it if it's something you plan on removing from him eventually :>

that's all i can see now, fix this stuff up and we'll see about stamping him and setting him up with a journal~
PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:05 pm


amicableAggressor

Okay, fixed the tense problem, writing the pre-post stories kinda muddled up @ u@;;;;;
I linked the RP contest, but to answer your questions in short; His lusus was killed and fed to Gl'bgolyb, while this happened Zari was hiding in the bushes and wound up found a while later by Kei and her lusus. They realized that they may likely be twins and Kei's lusus wanted to take Zari home with them so they did :B

I changed inexperienced to dependent and added more wordy-words to further elaborate on it, and while it still kinda has the same gist as before I threw in more how he wasn't exactly keen on becoming dependent. Chances are when he grows up he'll most likely just transfer his dependence to someone else (Quadrants most likely).

LordPocky

Cunning Codger


amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin

PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:58 pm


LordPocky
amicableAggressor

Okay, fixed the tense problem, writing the pre-post stories kinda muddled up @ u@;;;;;
I linked the RP contest, but to answer your questions in short; His lusus was killed and fed to Gl'bgolyb, while this happened Zari was hiding in the bushes and wound up found a while later by Kei and her lusus. They realized that they may likely be twins and Kei's lusus wanted to take Zari home with them so they did :B

I changed inexperienced to dependent and added more wordy-words to further elaborate on it, and while it still kinda has the same gist as before I threw in more how he wasn't exactly keen on becoming dependent. Chances are when he grows up he'll most likely just transfer his dependence to someone else (Quadrants most likely).
i think you misunderstood my comment about the first part, as it's still written that it -was- hard for him. "Tending to their hive was at first a troublesome feat" at first that means that the situation has changed now. so i'm wondering what has changed since then! :>
PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:22 pm


amicableAggressor

BLUH!!! In my mind it made sense @ x@ Okay, fixed it!

LordPocky

Cunning Codger


amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin

PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 7:23 am


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