|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 9:12 am
Approved by Tawny
Name: Soral Age: 17 Gender: Male Sexual Orientation: Homosexual Craft/Rank: N/A History: He was born into a very loving family. They were considered at a level about middle class, not wealthy, but certainly having a good amount of money. Soral stopped talking to people as much after he lost his parents. He barely speaks unless he believes he needs to.
He lost his parents during a storm when he was ten. They had been traveling to Trine when the storm caught them off guard. He had to be rescued after the storm. Soral had broken a few bones thanks to the storm and several lasting scars across his chest and lower arms from how he'd tried to protect himself during the storm. The broken bones were set correctly and healed.
He has no idea what happened to his parents. Soral had not managed to ask any of the wingriders who were there when he was brought to Trine. He figures they're at another hold, because he'd rather think of them alive than dead. It took a week after he was fully healed before he managed to ask a rider. The rider had agreed to look for his parents, and upon returning, told Soral that he couldn't find Soral's parents.
Soon after that Soral was fostered and was lucky enough to be with a family who didn't taunt him with his reoccurring nightmare of how he'd lost his parents. Soral was definitely good with children his age, even if he couldn't remember everyone's names, he could easily make friends.
Soral hasn't made many friends at the Weyr, but he settled well and is committed to being a rider. His goal is to change the thoughts wherhandlers have of riders, to make everyone consider each other equally. People who believe riders are better than handlers and the gold dragons are better than green haven't seen what's made every person similar just yet in his eyes. Each dragon has something in them that could make them better than another. The wher concept on the colors of Whers shows that everyone can be the same, and anyone can be better.
He isn't so much afraid of Thread as afraid of what Thread can do. He is set on Impressing a hatchling, but will likely take up a craft as he nears the age where he can no longer Impress.
When the revolution happened it shook Soral to the core of what he believed in. He wanted equality, yes but he would never have resorted to killing people over it. He was caught between trying to justify it and condemning it. As a result he doesn't bring color equality up in conversation unless directly asked about it. If Soral does end up talking about it and the other becomes hostile, he tries to explain himself to them and that he's not saying the revolution was a good thing. He'll do his best to argue his point if it comes to confrontation, but Soral won't get into a shouting match because he doesn't want a fight to start. If people get to shouting, he'll quiet down.
Description: A smaller than average candidate, Soral isn't very notable among others his age. His hair is brown and curly, any attempts of straightening it have failed. He has lightly tanned skin. Soral's eyes are a caramel brown, lighter than the dark chocolate brown of his hair.
Personality: Soral is like sunshine contained in a person, he's friendly, bright and happy. Always eager to cheer someone up however he can. He can almost always find the silver lining, and when he can't, well he's glad things aren't any worse. He's a bit of a goof when people need cheering up though. Even if he's quiet, Soral displays his happiness by occasionally bouncing on the balls of his feet when he's been standing for a while, and a very open body language. He hates when children complain about their parents and when parents put their children in the crèche. Minor things that would upset him would probably be talking down on others and/or making fun at their expense. How he deals with his more negative emotions is he goes off into a quiet place amongst his thoughts and waits until he calms down.
Though his happy attitude can be very annoying, and even downright cruel at times. If someone is grieving and he's around, well, he could cause a fight to break out just by being so happy. He's not very empathic, but he is trying to work on this and take other's feelings into account. He's so cheerful toward people because deep in his heart, he misses his family and knows they wouldn't want him to cry about it. When he was little, after the storm, he'd thought that if he was happy, his parents would come find him, but after being told that the riders couldn't find his parents, he gave up on that dream.
Soral will follow what he believes in rather than the easier way out. He'd overheard a rider talking about the werhandler's concept on color equality one day when he was headed to the beaches to look out at all the brilliant colors and patterns of the dragons at the weyr, from a safe distance away of course. He's interested in learning, Dragonwatching is just a bit of a pastime he likes to do. Soral wants very much to learn about the rocks and minerals that minors dig up and the stones that feed a dragon's fire. He wants to know how the process happens.
He values kindness to others and all of what the virtue entails, but Soral himself isn't without fault. Soral lusts to belong to something that could give him the sense of having a family again, and he doesn't see anything wrong with others orphaned who have a want for acceptance as strong as he does. Although he has his own lusts, he doesn't appreciate those who go to desperate measures to satisfy their own lusts, or greed enough to not help the poor or the hungry. His flaw, however, is most likely his pride in his beliefs.
Other: Soral doesn't mind following orders all that much but he will disobey an order if he doesn't feel like it is the right thing to do. Strengths: Outgoing, he tends to take initiative. He's a good listener and pays attention when people are talking to him. Weaknesses: Wanders when he's trying to calm himself in his thoughts. He's afraid of storms and doesn't like going outside or looking outside when the weather turns bad.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:43 am
Hi Riffler! First off I'm afraid I have to tell you that as a mute Soral can't be a candidate or Impress. You're welcome to change that, or to keep him mute but have him as a non candidate character. Either way I'd like to see a lot more details in his history and personality, and this is especially important if he is to be a candidate; we match dragons to candidates based upon personality, and so we need to know more about him if he's to Impress! Some history points to consider: - Why is he mute? - Did he have friends growing up? How was he treated by people his age, and indeed people in general around him? If you're keeping the muteness this is especially important to know. - What did his parents do for a living? Were they poor? Wealthy? Crafters? Drudges? Did they live in a major Hold or a minor one? - What happened in the storm to make him lose his parents? Why wasn't he rescued by neighbours, and why didn't they know what happened to his parents/take him in? How was he found and rescued by the riders? Dragons wouldn't have been flying around in a major storm, so was he rescued later? Was he injured at all? - How did losing his parents affect him? Even if he tries to tell himself they're alive he must miss them and wonder what happened. - How did he take to his new life at the Weyr? Was he fostered or was he put into the crèche? - Again, if you're going with muteness, how did he deal with all these new people? You say he makes friends easily, but it seems likely to me that he would have struggled. - For his personality I would like to see at least two decent sized paragraphs, and he will need a solid flaw or two; as it stands being too trusting doesn't really work as one and muteness doesn't either. Flaws should be things about a character that are genuinely unflattering, that people can dislike them for. - How does he manage to make friends if he can't talk to them? It's not easy to write everything you want to say; the majority of people probably wouldn't hang around for that. Also a point on his sexuality: If he's homosexual please put that down, and just note that he hasn't found the right person yet if you want to make that point, asexuality is different entirely. One final thing; you refer to him as Johnthan in the last line; is this an error? If you're looking for inspiration to flesh out his personality try reading the character creation guide and the second post of this thread too. Try considering his goals, his fears, what makes him angry, what things about him are genuinely dislikeable?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:00 pm
Hey! This is a great improvement but I still need some more details please. Could you address these points?:
- How did he get along with other children when he was young?
- Why wasn't he rescued by neighbours, and why didn't they know what happened to his parents/take him in? Did their home collapse? Were they travelling somewhere with traders or something?
- How did he settle in at the Weyr? Has he made a lot of friends? How did the revolution affect him? Does he want to be a rider? If so is he afraid of the Thread?
- Could you expand on the points you mention in strengths and weaknesses please? A sentence or two about both would be good.
- What are his goals in life?
- Does anything make him angry?
-How does he deal with anger, fear and other negative emotions?
- He's bright, friendly and happy but seldom speaks; could you explain a bit how these work together? Quiet people are seldom seen as happy or outgoing; how does he act to seem as such to people?
- How does he deal with authority? Does he mind taking orders or would he rather do his own thing? Would he go so far as to disobey orders to do what he wants instead?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 5:28 pm
I see that you're fleshing out the trait of happy, and that's good, but happy is still only one trait. Take a look at Skie's list of traits (the second link I posted earlier) if you have trouble picking out some more; everyone has more than one layer to them! I've picked out a few traits from the list and elaborated slightly on them as examples.
Is he perhaps decisive, quick to make choices given he's outgoing; this can be a positive trait in that he doesn't dither, and a negative one in that he doesn't look before he leaps.
Does he do what he believes is right, or what's easy? How far would he go to either do what he believes in, or to avoid having to take a stand on things?
Is he flexible, enjoying change (but perhaps sometimes flip-flopping annoying on opinions and plans!) or is he rather rigid, liking to stick to set ways and suchlike?
Is he a practical sort?
Is he realistic and down to earth or more of a dreamer?
Is he reliable? Punctual?
Is he forgiving, or does he hold a grudge if somebody hurts or betrays him?
- You say that he's never encountered anything that made him angry; this seems rather passive to me rather than outgoing. Everyone gets angry from time to time, frustrated when things go wrong. Does he not have any pet hates? Perhaps something related to the trauma of losing his parents; maybe he gets jealous when he sees families together, or doesn't like it when people put children in the crèche? Perhaps he gets angry if people complain about their parents, because at least they still have them?
- People who take initiative generally have strong opinions on how things should be done; this seems to conflict with his lack of any anger? If you work for and believe in something and somebody else tries to stop you, or says it's foolish etc wouldn't that get some kind of negative reaction from you?
- How does he believe that him being good will make his parents come to find him? For a young child I could believe it, but it seems rather delusional in a seventeen year old.
- Also try considering what he does for fun in his free time; does he have any hobbies or passions?
- In addition to that what skills does he possess? If he's essentially an unskilled labourer does he regret that and want to take up a craft, or is he just set on waiting for a dragon to come and choose him one day?
- What virtues/qualities does he value in life; what will make him like a person more, or less?
- If he wants to make everyone value one another equally, what does he think of people who believe riders are better than handlers and the gold dragons are better than green for example? Why is it that he's come to feel this way?
- Another thought on history: Did he ever ask riders to look for his parents? Did they accept, or refuse?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 8:55 am
Heya
This is an improvement again, but there's still some points to look at.
- If the rider said they had found his family why didn't he ask to be taken to them? Did he not wonder why they didn't ask for him to be brought to them? Surely as he's got older, if he does believe what the rider told him, he's at least wanted to visit them even if he's committed to becoming a rider?
- A seventeen year old ought to know that just being happy won't make people appear. Is he actually deluding himself, and somewhere deep down knows they're dead? If so does he tend to hide from other problems like this, by just refusing to admit they're there?
- How is his desire to belong a flaw? Does it mean he tends to go along with a group even though he doesn't agree with what they're doing? This seems to clash with him doing what he believes in rather than what's easy.
- Is he a loyal sort, given he wants to belong? How does he deal with it if others betray him, or reject him?
- His being extremely happy around grieving people seems to hint to me that he's not very socially aware/attuned to the feelings of others. Is this the case? Or is he aware of their feelings, but still acts happy in any case?
- Again, can you tell me anything about his hobbies and any skills he has, or if he's unskilled. Is he interested in learning things or is he just fixated on dragons?
- How does he react to people that disagree with him strongly? Will he argue his point (for example about colour equality, or that people should be grateful to have parents) or does the fact that he doesn't like to speak (or some other reason) mean that he'll back down from confrontation?
- At the moment bringing up wher and colour equality could make some people very hostile to him due to the revolution and so on. How does he deal with that?
- How did the revolution affect him? His home of seven years was torn apart and a lot of people were killed, by the people preaching the equality he believes in. Did he consider joining them? Did it shake his beliefs? Does he try to justify what they did, or does he condemn it?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|