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 Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:30 am
NyAnd how does it affect your life?
(Sort of a companion piece to my other thread, but different focus.)
I recently came to terms with my physical appearance, at the age of 31. For the first time in my life, I no longer that anyone who thinks I'm good-looking is either blind or clinically insane. Granted, my self-esteem has always been exceptionally bad, but it feels good to no longer question my partner's mental faculties (though his eyesight IS pretty bad) and finally starting to be more comfortable in my own skin.
My therapist told me to try to see myself through the eyes of others. I tried to do this, but still couldn't shake the feeling that everyone else suffers from a shared delusion.
H
So I talked to God about it. I told Him that I knew He created me and hoped I didn't offend Him by not finding any beauty in how I looked. I explained that I was trying, but after so many years of hating myself, I still avoided mirrors and cameras. I asked Him to, maybe just once, lift the veil from my eyes and to see,when I looked in a mirror, one of God's beautiful children rather than a stained, tained, ugly sinner.
And then I said "amen," crossed myself, and stood in front of my closet mirror. I can't really explain it, but I felt that I was actually SEEING myself for the first time. I didn't look any different, but I felt that I was finally seeing myself in focus. The scars from needle marks and razor slices no longer seemed like neon signs advertising my failings, but more like...I don't know, battle scars that had been inflicted in the war that has shaped me into the peerson I am today. I was by no means blinded to my faults, but for the first time in my life, I was able to let go of the hatred I've had for myself for so long. I saw a man, imperfect, but still touched by God's grace.
How do you feel wwhen you look in a mirror? Do you know how it feels to struggle with the way you look? How have/do you deal with it?
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:33 am
You speak of things found in a well that runs deep in many people.
I have struggles with the way I look. Sometimes I think I look great. Other times I think I look awful. I suppose it, perhaps, honestly depends on my perception in that given moment.
However...I think it ultimately goes back to God.
I wrote a paper about beauty. I think I'll go ahead and share it in my next post.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:38 am
Proverbs Theme Paper: Beauty
Introduction
I have long thought about beauty, spending more than one sleepless night pondering what it is, pondering what it means, and pondering its source. For me to claim to have a thorough understanding of beauty, at this particular time, is to lie. It might, and indeed I believe it would, be the endeavor of an entire lifetime to attain a full understanding of beauty. And even then spending a lifetime does not necessarily guarantee success. I hope that one day I might understand beauty to its fullest measure.
From the beginning I have rejected the popular statement “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. This rejection is based, not only on a level of personal dissatisfaction with such a statement, but also on a philosophical and intellectual level. God is infinite. And He is beauty. Before anything else was, God is. And God is beauty. God therefore is the source of all beauty, answering the last of the three questions mentioned above.
The first two questions are much harder to answer. Why? The first question is difficult to answer because there is a wide range of understanding as to what beauty is. The second question is difficult to answer because the meaning of beauty, perhaps, has a wide range of possibilities. And just one answer for both of these is not sufficient. There is not, I believe, a singular answer as to what beauty is and what it means. To make this paper simpler, I first seek to address two specific Scriptures regarding beauty from the book of Proverbs. My following task is to bring a broader understanding of beauty to the forefront.
Proverbs 6
The specific verse in this passage that mentions beauty is verse 25, which reads “do not desire her beauty in your heart”. The context of this passage is a warning against adultery, a warning given to “preserve” one “from the evil woman” (v. 24), from “the smooth tongue of the adulteress”. It is about physical beauty. The Hebrew idea behind “adulteress” is that of a “foreign woman”, which is to be understood merely as a neighbor’s wife, another man’s woman. This is a reiteration of the warning given in the previous chapter. The foreign woman is the “forbidden woman” (5:3, 20). Instead of going after the wife of one’s neighbor a man should delight and rejoice in his own wife (5:18 ).
Understanding the context of verse 6:25 is important in relation to the beauty that is mentioned here. It is not wrong to enjoy and desire beauty, specifically physical beauty in accordance with this passage. Indeed Solomon writes in chapter five that a man should find delight in his wife’s breasts and always be intoxicated in her love (5:19). Breasts are a physical trait, a physical trait that is not only beautiful but, dare it be said, sexually desirable. Beauty and sexual attractiveness are not wrong. God made humans not only as spiritual beings but also as physical beings, and one of the traits of being a physical being, a creature, is sexuality and sexual activity, according to God’s own command (Gen. 1:28 ).
It is not even the beauty, the physical beauty and sexual attractiveness, of another man’s woman that is wrong. It is the desire of the heart. When one looks at another man’s wife with lust he has committed adultery in his heart (Matt. 5:28 ). He is guilty of sin. It is not that beauty and sexual attractiveness are wrong, for indeed they are not wrong. It is the sinful desire of sinful man that is wrong. In this it can be known that beauty and sexual attractiveness are not wrong, but indeed should be delighted in between a man and wife, with glory given to God for the beauty He has created.
Proverbs 31
The specific verse in this chapter that mentions beauty is verse 30, which says “charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain”. The context of this verse is about a godly woman, a woman who fears the LORD. This passage is often used to dismiss physical beauty and favor inward beauty. Inward beauty can be found only in the fear of the LORD. The passage goes on to read “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”.
This is not the only passage that talks about the LORD’s judgment of inward beauty and how He feels about it. Peter talks about beauty in 1 Peter 3 when he says “let your adorning be…the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious”. God looks at the heart, and not at the physical appearance (1 Samuel 16:7). While, as shown in regard to the first of the two Proverbs passages discussed here, physical beauty and sexual attractiveness are admirable, good, and blessings from God, there is a more important beauty. This beauty is within. A physically attractive body is filthy if inside there is only a black heart. But the plain face that masks inner beauty and truth is beautiful.
To use these passages to dismiss physical beauty as unimportant is wrong. Physical beauty is important, but one must remember why. Physical beauty brings glory to God, showing His magnificence in His creation while also being pleasing to a husband, or wife. The purpose of these passages is merely to state what is true, that inner beauty is greater in God’s eyes than that of outer beauty. But physical beauty, like inward beauty, brings great glory to God.
Considering the sheer preciousness of inner beauty that God so deeply cherishes, how much more glorifying, then, is the woman, or man, whose physical attractiveness is merely enhanced by the inward beauty of the soul? Indeed, one cannot be truly beautiful if one is displeasing to the LORD on the inside. But the one who is beautiful on the inside is truly beautiful, and furthermore the one who is beautiful on the inside becomes beautiful even on the outside, to the Godly man whose heart belongs to the LORD. This does not make beauty something that exists only in the eyes of the beholder, but rather the Godly man, or woman, has the ability to see the beauty that is all ready there because of Godliness. Inward beauty and external beauty are intertwined. Without inward beauty, there is no external beauty. But with inward beauty, external beauty follows.
Beauty in a Broader Sense
Through the Proverbs passages two forms of beauty have been examined. The first is physical beauty and sexual attractiveness. The second is inward beauty, which is the greater of the two in God’s eyes, though both are important, glorifying, and pleasing to God. As stated in the introduction there are many different kinds of beauty. All of them qualify as beauty. Two of these forms of beauty have been discussed. But there are other forms of beauty. Another form of physical beauty aside from human attractiveness and the beauty of the body is the physical beauty of nature, the trees with vibrant fires of color in autumn and sweet blossoms in the spring, the raging colors of the tiger’s pelt and the fierce passion in its eyes.
When God finished creating all that He had and He looked upon it He saw that it was all very good (Gen. 1:31). Creation is beautiful, and He made it to be such. He speaks of the beauty of His own creation, specifically that of the lilies of the field and their natural beauty and splendor, given to them by God (Matt. 6:28-29). David remarks in Psalm 19:1 that “the heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork”.
This glory comes from the beauty of God’s creation and the sheer immensity and complexity and majesty of His creation. It all glorifies Him, for such beauty can come only from God, Who is Himself beauty in the highest of all senses. The Scriptures say much about creation, the animals and the plants, ravines and mountains, and the sea. It is all God’s creation, and it is beautiful, created to bring glory to God.
There is another form of beauty, beauty found in the arts, which is to say theater, paintings, drawings, writing of prose and poetry, sculptures, and music. Indeed, the voice and instruments have been used since the beginning of time to bring praise, honor, and glory to the LORD in worship. David himself, a man after God’s own heart, often made music and sang to the LORD with his voice and with instruments such as the harp and lyre, one example of this being Psalm 108:1-3, and another being Psalm 144:9.
The ceiling in the Sistine Chapel is a prime example of beauty in art, exemplified by its depictions of most holy things. Indeed, the beauty in art has often been used to express God’s truth and holiness as well as to bring Him praise, honor, and glory. The creativity found in the human soul is a reflection of the creativity of his and her Maker, Whose creation, as stated earlier, is permeated with His glory and beauty.
Poetry has been used to bring glory to the LORD, and His beauty is reflected in it, and its beauty shines and brings honor to His majesty. The Psalms are a key, prime example of this. Poetry that is beautiful and glorifying to the LORD, expressing the deep emotions seated in the beautiful human soul, something that could have only come from the LORD, Who is beauty Himself.
Conclusion
So what is beauty? Beauty is, first and foremost, God Himself. It is, secondly, a reflection of His glory and majesty. Beauty can be found within. It is a person’s Godliness. A woman or man who fears the LORD indeed has inward beauty. And beauty can be found on the outside. It can be found in the human body, the majestic physical appearance and sexual attractiveness as well as in its complexities. Beauty can be found in the LORD’s creation, again a reflection of His glory and majesty, the sheer genius of His creativity and brilliant divine mind. Creation declares the glory of God in its beauty.
Beauty can also be found in the arts, as an expression of the beauty of the human soul, beautiful, used to bring honor and glory and praise to the LORD God almighty. Beauty permeates everything in creation because it reflects the LORD’s glory and majesty, and the LORD is beauty, and the LORD is the creator of His creation. Without God, there is no beauty.
In discovering what beauty is, one discovers what beauty is for. The purpose of beauty is to reflect God, to bring glory and honor and praise to Him. The elegance of a woman’s curves, the strength and power of a man’s chest and arms, the brilliant colors found in nature and the amazing creatures with which He has filled the earth, His glory and the beauty of the human soul expressed in the arts to please Him and to bring Him glory, honor, and praise—all of this is to reflect God, Who is beauty, and to bring Him glory. Because He alone is worthy of the glory, and He is the source of all things beautiful. He is beauty.
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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 10:19 pm
I've been meaning to respond to this for a while but just haven't had the time.
I very much enjoyed reading your essay, and agree wholeheartedly with what you have to say.
I think nearly everyone here would agree that physical beauty is definitely more superficial than inner beauty, but physical beauty is not without its merits.
I often hear many people complaining about how "these days" we live in a society obsessed with physical beauty. I don't think these people realise that this is not recent at all. As long as we can trace the history of man, there has always been an emphasis on physical beauty. Old tales of the knight in shining armour saving the beautiful maiden. The heroes and heroines of our oldest stories are almost always described as having great physical beauty. Of course, the lessons they're intended to teach focus on the heroic acts of these characters, but we've always liked our protagonists beautiful and our antagonists ugly, both in appearance and in the acts they perform.
And who can really blame us? For most of us, that is, those of us who have sight, our first impression of those we meet will always be how they look. That's not to say that a physically unattractive person can't have inner beauty, but it takes more than a glance at someone to discover whatever inner beauty they may possess.
So for those of us who struggle with our appearance, it's difficult. Even if the most righteous men and women will often struggle inwardly if they do not perceive themselves as being physically attractive.
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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:38 am
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 4:49 pm
SinfulGuillotine I've been meaning to respond to this for a while but just haven't had the time. I very much enjoyed reading your essay, and agree wholeheartedly with what you have to say. I think nearly everyone here would agree that physical beauty is definitely more superficial than inner beauty, but physical beauty is not without its merits. I often hear many people complaining about how "these days" we live in a society obsessed with physical beauty. I don't think these people realise that this is not recent at all. As long as we can trace the history of man, there has always been an emphasis on physical beauty. Old tales of the knight in shining armour saving the beautiful maiden. The heroes and heroines of our oldest stories are almost always described as having great physical beauty. Of course, the lessons they're intended to teach focus on the heroic acts of these characters, but we've always liked our protagonists beautiful and our antagonists ugly, both in appearance and in the acts they perform. And who can really blame us? For most of us, that is, those of us who have sight, our first impression of those we meet will always be how they look. That's not to say that a physically unattractive person can't have inner beauty, but it takes more than a glance at someone to discover whatever inner beauty they may possess. So for those of us who struggle with our appearance, it's difficult. Even if the most righteous men and women will often struggle inwardly if they do not perceive themselves as being physically attractive.
^_^
It is true that humanity has always had a thing for beauty. This is nothing new. If anything, our society (USA) has turned its attention away from beauty and focused on sex. I would argue that this is true. Consider how beauty has been treated in the past. Certainly, certainly, there were plenty of sexually immoral people back in the day with lusty hearts. But beauty was revered in a way that it no longer is today. Consider the images of the human body in the days of old as compared to now. The images were much more artistic, philosophical, and expressive in those days. Many philosophers in the past have said that beauty, truth, and goodness go together, such as Plato and Aquinas.
The images of today are usually designed to elicit sexual arousal, which can turn into coveting, idolatry, and lust. So society, I believe, has turned its focus away from beauty and made its focus sex. At least, that is how I feel about the culture of the United States. Britain may be different.
I do not deny that the struggle is difficult. Any real struggle is, and this is a real struggle. But if we can remember our identity in Christ--I feel that we can overcome this struggle. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ, the most holy God.
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 5:08 pm
In response to the second video:
I find it interesting that Jesus' twelve apostles supposedly "saw" Jesus ascend into heaven before He could be crucified and yet contradicted what they saw by preaching Christ crucified and resurrected.
I also find it interesting that Jesus, while on the cross, tells John that His mother, Mary, is now John's mother. How can that be if Jesus had already ascended into heaven? It simply cannot. The writings of the New Testament are apostolic. They were either written by an apostle (Peter, John, and Paul for example) or a very close associate to one of the apostles (Mark and Luke).
This also flies in the face of everything Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, preached about Himself. I suppose you could give me some argument about the Bible and the New Testament and everything being made up. I will then direct you to read a book. It is titled From God To Us by Geisler and Nyx.
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 10:22 pm
In response to the second video:
I find it interesting that Jesus' twelve apostles supposedly "saw" Jesus ascend into heaven before He could be crucified and yet contradicted what they saw by preaching Christ crucified and resurrected.
I also find it interesting that Jesus, while on the cross, tells John that His mother, Mary, is now John's mother. How can that be if Jesus had already ascended into heaven? It simply cannot. The writings of the New Testament are apostolic. They were either written by an apostle (Peter, John, and Paul for example) or a very close associate to one of the apostles (Mark and Luke).
This also flies in the face of everything Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, preached about Himself. I suppose you could give me some argument about the Bible and the New Testament and everything being made up. I will then direct you to read a book. It is titled From God To Us by Geisler and Nyx.
The part about John being Mary's mother is that Jesus was passing on the tradition that the first born takes care of his elderly parents over to John. The first pert you put doesn't make any sense.
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:07 pm
In response to the second video:
I find it interesting that Jesus' twelve apostles supposedly "saw" Jesus ascend into heaven before He could be crucified and yet contradicted what they saw by preaching Christ crucified and resurrected.
I also find it interesting that Jesus, while on the cross, tells John that His mother, Mary, is now John's mother. How can that be if Jesus had already ascended into heaven? It simply cannot. The writings of the New Testament are apostolic. They were either written by an apostle (Peter, John, and Paul for example) or a very close associate to one of the apostles (Mark and Luke).
This also flies in the face of everything Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, preached about Himself. I suppose you could give me some argument about the Bible and the New Testament and everything being made up. I will then direct you to read a book. It is titled From God To Us by Geisler and Nyx.
And this is but one reason, I left the faith... if all you have is a hammer you will never be able to make a shirt. In my experience, Islamic, Christianity, and Jewish; are all fighting for the same bloody thing, and nether side will even listen. Why does it matter how Christ leaves, and maybe returns? Personally, it sounds like the Islamic just want to convert Christians over to their belief of end day death match. But, Christians have been doing the same thing for centuries. And Hebrews before then.... WHAT THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE? The bible already states, Christ's return will be as a general, not a peacemaker. What if the army he leads is the Islamic people? Jew get a free passage into heaven, Islams get their million virgins, still don't understand that one... Oh and Christians, are supposed to be Christ-like. Guess that is a call to war for them. Making the faithful, the commanders, under him Aghhhhh..... know what, why does it matter?... all three religions, are now based a ton on blind faith and rules, which makes no sense. If any ounce of truth was ever apart of them, it has been long destroyed by the will of man. Who can't even agree, between father and child...
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:33 pm
SinfulGuillotine How do you feel when you look in a mirror? Do you know how it feels to struggle with the way you look? How have/do you deal with it? it isn't the reflection, I care about. It is just an outward covering, that can be changed, whether by hard work, or surgery. It is the memories, the scars that time doesn't heal. The things that have been done to me, that I have done, the haunting ghosts of pasts long passed forgiven, but unable to be forgotten. The time spent trying to get the attention of a God that didn't return a glance or voice a word to me.... For me, dealing with it means working that much harder at my current task, of finding what grains of truth remain, after the wolves have stole the rest.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:19 am
We Muslims don't believe that Prophet Jesus son of Mary (peace be upon him)
was killed (crucified)
And [for] their saying, "Indeed, we have killed the Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary, the messenger of Allah ." And they did not kill him, nor did they crucify him; but [another] was made to resemble him to them. And indeed, those who differ over it are in doubt about it. They have no knowledge of it except the following of assumption. And they did not kill him, for certain. Quran 4:157
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:17 am
Southern Cross Nemesis SinfulGuillotine How do you feel when you look in a mirror? Do you know how it feels to struggle with the way you look? How have/do you deal with it? it isn't the reflection, I care about. It is just an outward covering, that can be changed, whether by hard work, or surgery. It is the memories, the scars that time doesn't heal. The things that have been done to me, that I have done, the haunting ghosts of pasts long passed forgiven, but unable to be forgotten. The time spent trying to get the attention of a God that didn't return a glance or voice a word to me.... For me, dealing with it means working that much harder at my current task, of finding what grains of truth remain, after the wolves have stole the rest. Well, of course what's on the outside is more superficial than anything internal, but feeling confident in how you look can translate positively to so many other aspects of life. Have you ever had a day where you just feel good? Maybe you have a new haircut, or are wearing an outfit that is especially flattering, and you just feel good and happy leaving the house? Feeling good about the outside so often goes hand-in-hand with feeling good about the inside. Like it or not, the first impression you're going to make on anyone who can see is how you look, and I don't think it's vain or shallow to want to leave people with an overall positive impression of your appearance. And hating how you look, the part of you that everyone sees, can be very debilitating. I think people's self-esteem regarding their appearance is often trivialised with cliches like "it's what's on the inside that counts" and "just be a good person and people will like you." People frequently ask questions such as "In a romantic partner, would you choose looks or personality?" to which the "right" answer is to pick personality, but how many of us honestly are attracted to someone we find physically unattractive, no matter how awesome their personality is? I know that I want both an attractive physique and an attractive personality in a romantic partner, and I hardly think I'm alone. Mind you, there are loads of different standards of beauty, and where one person might find you physically repulsive, another might think you're just sex on legs. And yes, an attractive personality can often make a person seem more overall attractive, just as an ugly personality can make someone seem less overall attractive, but unless you're in the extreme minority, physical appearance, both yours and those of others, does matter.
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