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 Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:26 pm
So, I'm not gonna lie.... I haven't been on here long... but I was hoping for some advice of some sort...
My bf and I have been together for about 10 months now and the way we ended up together was a bit.... rocky...
Let's put it this way:
1) my parents found out i had cheated on my ex bf with this guy.
2) we spent his birthday sitting in planned parenthood so i could be put on birthcontrol.
and 3) for the longest time we didn't know for sure if we were even together.
And we fight a lot. And I mean A LOT.
But about a month ago.... we had a period of time that was really bad. If we did talk, we were fighting, he lied to me about partying for three days straight with his friends, skipping work. He had told me he was sick after going to the fair with some friends.... a guy and two girls to be specific... He was drinking, which i don't mind really.... but I'm nervous about something happening.....
He admitted to cheating before on past gfs but says he'll never do it to me....
I really do love this guy, not gonna lie... and I hate to think that he ever was cheating on me... and I hate to think of myself as a clingy gf and i try really hard not to be.... I just don't want to run the risk of getting played you know? If he did it once.... he could do it again....
Am I just paranoid?
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:32 am
Having made mistakes in the past is one thing, but if he's lying to YOU in the present it's quite another. You're going to have to decide if it's worth it to stay with someone you're always worrying may be sneaking around behind your back. That said, don't let yourself slip into the mindset where you ALWAYS worry that ANY guy is screwing around on you when he's not with you.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:38 am
Well the past says a lot about a person, and it sounds pretty bad in general time together and time apart. The whole reason you guys are even together was a lack of loyalty on both your parts. Are you absolutely sure this is a guy you want to be dating? Feelings aside.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:54 pm
I enjoy being around him. He makes me happy and I trust him. At the time when all this happened we didn't see each other much because of work. He was tutoring a friend... that i thought was a guy and he didn't care to mention that he was a she until after all of the 'tutoring'. Don't misunderstand, he's a great guy and we've had our rough spots but I'm starting over, being a good loyal girlfriend..... I just hope he has the same feeling....
I really do love him, and I am not just saying that because 'I'm a love struck teenager'. He and I are both 18, almost 19. We've faced a lot of crap together and he got me to realize what kind of relationship i was in with my ex... who btw... was most likely cheating on me with his very close 'friend' since he was 6 hours away at college.....
I trust my bf, i really do. I just had certain people in my life that was trying to plant seeds of doubt....
And i really don't want to ask him... I don't want to cause a fight that might make me lose him.... I know that doesn't sound good for me haha but I'm trying to find a stable relationship for once.... I'm done with guys that think I'm a toy...
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Irako of the Desert Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:16 pm
I keep telling this to people who are having problems with their significant others. My dad used to tell me a story about his roommate. Every time this roommate started dating a new girl, he'd write on a calendar the days that she made him happy and the days she made him sad. If after a month, there were more sad days than happy, he'd break up with her.
If this guy is making you feel anxious despite his assurances, it's not paranoia. I bet you he told all those past girlfriends that he'd never cheat on them either. Just because you're in love with someone doesn't mean it's the kind of love that will last a lifetime. It hasn't even been a year, and you're already having trust issues? Think hard and long about it. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who lies to your face over and over again?
Life is not a movie. The lying, cheating boyfriend doesn't see the error of his ways and goes back to his girlfriend. They break up and move on. You're only eighteen, you don't have to pick a guy and settle down for the rest of your life with him yet. My sister once used an analogy that dating guys is like eating salmon. If you only ever eat salmon sashimi, you won't ever find out if you like it oven-baked with rosemary and salt better.
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:44 am
Thanks for the advice guys. It's helped me out. Let's just see what happens right? biggrin
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:12 pm
You cheated on past relationships and so did he so I don't think it's at all fair for you to even bring that up as bad.
Trust. If all you do is argue you may need to reevaluate your relationship.
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:53 pm
Wait, so you cheated with this guy and then became his girl friend, and now you're wondering if he is faithful?
From what I understand, the prior boyfriend cheated, but that's no excuse to cheat back. Imo, one should end a relationship before starting another. Anyway, I hope you the guy is right for you and you two are happy.
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Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 12:11 am
my BF kiss me so deeph that what i was being nervous in the 1st time, because HE IS THE FIRST WHO KISS ME!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!! burning_eyes
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