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 Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:19 pm
I have really strong feelings for this girl, both sexual and emotional but there's a big problem. My family is christian. I'm expected to be christian but I don't want to be. I wanna be me, ya know? Any suggestions on how I should handle this?
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:19 pm
Well, this may not be the best advice, but I say you should go on and be how you want to be. If you like boys, go for boys. If you like girls, go for girls. If anyone judges you and hates you for it, ignore them. It's better to be how you want to be, so you're happy than how others want you to be, so you're miserable. Your family shouldn't have a say in what your sexual preference is, that's something only you can decide and understand. Besides, it's not like you can choose or change that. If you're friends change because of that, then they probably weren't really true friends. You'll find other people out there that will accept you or who you are and support you. So, just be who you want to be and be happy with it, okay? I'm sure you're family will probably understand and/or come around to this.
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:25 am
I can't disagree with the person above me. Honey, you should be honest with your family and don't hide it. Family isn't about lying to each other, and it is about accepting each other of who each person is. Don't lie to them, be strong and confident in yourself as you are how you are and how you want to be. you are you and that is all there is to it, honey.
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:37 am
These two have it right. Christians preach acceptance, so let them accept you for who you are. If they can't, then they're obviously not Christian.
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 1:14 am
Christians may be taught to accept, but how many institutions do you know that actually do?
Hate to tell you this, honey, but depending on how hardcore christian your parents are, you're screwed. You may be lucky and have a grudgingly accepting community, so try coming out point blank. "This is what I am. Your thoughts..." If they can't handle it, leave.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:29 pm
Personally, I don't think a person can legitimately say whether they're straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual unless they've had some sexual experiences. I get that people can be attracted to members of their sex both for their minds and their bodies, but it's called sexual preference for a reason. That's my opinion, though, and I know other people will disagree with me.
As for coming out to your parents, is it necessary? I don't think your sexual preference is anyone's business but your own and your future partners'. I mean, if you want to tell your parents, go ahead. If you don't, don't. You don't have to lie to them about it either. It's your decision, and your life.
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Irako of the Desert Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:54 am
Sexuality in itself is a fluid thing (no matter your age).
It can change and evolve over time.
Your best option is to wait and see, no use causing unnecessary drama by "coming out" per say, when your not even 100% sure if you actually feel that way.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:15 am
My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... I can say I relate to an extent. I live amongst a Christian family, I am extremely strongly Christian, but I'm bisexual. I know it's not God's word, but emotions aren't something you can just change by one's own will. If you feel emotions towards people of your own gender, you can't help that. It's just how you are.
Regarding your parents, if you want them to try and let you be, try giving Christian reasoning, since they might only want to take that. If they don't take that, then just do it, anyways. It might be against their will, and it might be against God's word, but you can't merely change emotional impacts. Human emotion doesn't work that way. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face???
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Puppet on a String Theory Crew
Philosophizing Bibliophile
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:19 pm
Oh, well this question is very easy, You have to decide what you are:
Are you religious, are you not?
Are you agnostic or are you a atheist?
Base on whatever you decide you are it will lead you too your answer.
Example: If you were to say "I believe in Christ and the bible" Than the approach to how to handle this situation will be different than if you were to say
"I have a christian upbringing but I am an atheist"
So, if you don't want to be christian for whatever reason, so be it--If you decide you want to live that lifestyle all you can really do is be honest to your family about your choice.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:27 am
First of all, don't put labels on yourself unless you absolutely are 100% sure you fit the bill. There's s**t-tons of middle/high school students that claim to be bi, only to find out they're really homo or straight later on.
If you don't want to start drama with your family, then don't tell them. It's not really imperative that they know unless you're in a serious relationship with a girl.
As for not wanting to be christian, maybe just try mentioning you don't really like church or want to go. If that causes a shitstorm or they outright dismiss you, then you'll probably just have to deal with it until you're old enough to move out. :/ That doesn't mean you can't believe in other things or be atheist, but you'd likely have to keep those beliefs to yourself.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:25 pm
I agree with the other people around her saying you don't have to tell them if you don't want to. Let's face it: you won't be able to do anything about it unless you get in a relationship, and the unfortunate thing about homosexuality is that not everyone's gonna be in the same boat. So if you do ANYTHING about this, then I'd tell that girl first. If it turns out you two wanna start dating, THAT'S when you tell your parents, because having a relationship behind your parents' back is never a good idea.
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