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The Committee Staff Gatekeeper
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 Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:50 am
I'm dating this guy and everything is going well, but theres like a family secret.
Hes step dad is a total *****. neutral
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:48 pm
If he's doing something illegal, like sexually harrassing/molesting children, then that should be reported. If he isn't, then who cares if he's a *****? As long as he's not breaking laws or doing something harmful, he just has a socially unacceptable sexual preference.
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Irako of the Desert Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:27 pm
Don't bring your kids to him them.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:11 pm
Odd that his step-dad would be married to someone he finds sexually unattractive. I'd be on the lookout for what actually motivates / attracts him to your BF's family.
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The Committee Staff Gatekeeper
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:20 pm
Irako of the Desert If he's doing something illegal, like sexually harrassing/molesting children, then that should be reported. If he isn't, then who cares if he's a *****? As long as he's not breaking laws or doing something harmful, he just has a socially unacceptable sexual preference. I didnt event tell you what age group.... "who cares if he is a *****" I guess it would be cool if you brought your kids or family members around him? Im just saying him having child pornography is pretty much illegal...and i dont think it should take him actually making a move on a child for something to be done.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:24 pm
Zetao Odd that his step-dad would be married to someone he finds sexually unattractive. I'd be on the lookout for what actually motivates / attracts him to your BF's family. Yeah, its so weird hes married to an older woman. They have parties and stuff and of course there are children around...it makes me feel weird cause i know hes watching them.
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The Committee Staff Gatekeeper
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The Committee Staff Gatekeeper
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:24 pm
Wuppa Wuppa Don't bring your kids to him them. Hes our landlord so even if i had one he'd have the key to the house.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:44 pm
Mai iS Censored Irako of the Desert If he's doing something illegal, like sexually harrassing/molesting children, then that should be reported. If he isn't, then who cares if he's a *****? As long as he's not breaking laws or doing something harmful, he just has a socially unacceptable sexual preference. I didnt event tell you what age group.... "who cares if he is a *****" I guess it would be cool if you brought your kids or family members around him? Im just saying him having child pornography is pretty much illegal... and i dont think it should take him actually making a move on a child for something to be done.
Yes, owning child porn is illegal, and if that's the case, you should report it.
If he doesn't own child porn and hasn't done anything wrong, though, should he be arrested and thrown in jail because he might do something illegal? That's not the way justice should work. If it were, everybody ought to be thrown in jail because they might do something illegal.
I'm not saying be dumb and test him at every possible opportunity by putting children that are easy targets in front of him. Of course you should be careful and of course he should be kept under close watch when around children. But just because he's a ***** doesn't mean you should assume he's incapable of controlling himself.
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Irako of the Desert Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:36 pm
Irako of the Desert Mai iS Censored Irako of the Desert If he's doing something illegal, like sexually harrassing/molesting children, then that should be reported. If he isn't, then who cares if he's a *****? As long as he's not breaking laws or doing something harmful, he just has a socially unacceptable sexual preference. I didnt event tell you what age group.... "who cares if he is a *****" I guess it would be cool if you brought your kids or family members around him? Im just saying him having child pornography is pretty much illegal... and i dont think it should take him actually making a move on a child for something to be done.
Yes, owning child porn is illegal, and if that's the case, you should report it.
If he doesn't own child porn and hasn't done anything wrong, though, should he be arrested and thrown in jail because he might do something illegal? That's not the way justice should work. If it were, everybody ought to be thrown in jail because they might do something illegal.
I'm not saying be dumb and test him at every possible opportunity by putting children that are easy targets in front of him. Of course you should be careful and of course he should be kept under close watch when around children. But just because he's a ***** doesn't mean you should assume he's incapable of controlling himself.Just to clarify and add some food for thought. Owning child pornography is illegal because to make it a child has ALREADY been sexually assaulted. Just because the deed is in the past and you may not know the child doesn't mean the offense isn't there. That's the type of thinking that make victims feel unsupported and allows offenders to get away with it. Child porn is not ok in any shape or form. In addition, most kids rescued from these abusers are only found via clues in the photos of them. Which is why the photos should be forwarded to police. ALSO any offender can/will escalate over time. It's just how they progress. There is no harm in reporting him now - when he hasn't done anything worse than owning child porn - because it makes the police aware of his presence and frankly puts him on warning. If you just ignore it he has no need NOT to progress if you see what I mean. Not to mention there's a chance you won't know if he does. IMO having him spend a night in jail / be fined and getting labelled with enjoying kiddie porn is way better than a kid being hurt in any shape or form. Even if it is via Internet from across the country. There's much more to this issue we could discuss, but maybe your first step would be to ask your bf to talk to his mom about it/ asking his step dad to get counseling for the issue or help to get rid of that stuff, as clearly he didn't hide it on the computer all that well. Besides that, having that sort of fascination with kids while he's in an adult relationship doesnt make all that much sense, maybe he needs a psychologist for some therapy in general.
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:52 pm
Mai iS Censored I'm dating this guy and everything is going well, but theres like a family secret. Hes step dad is a total *****. neutral Oh! I've seen this before wait yea, it's happened to me cept it was my step dad too who adopted me but wasn't really actually a *****, he got in trouble when he was like 19 for what they call a romeo and juliet case but in this scenario she lied about her age. At any rate, he appealed and he was taken off the list thing but it wrecked my life for the longest time. Honestly, don't treat it like something big unless his step dad is actually doing illegal stuff currently. If you treat him different for it you'll make him feel like s**t.
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:37 pm
Deathgod of Legend Oh! I've seen this before wait yea, it's happened to me cept it was my step dad too who adopted me but wasn't really actually a *****, he got in trouble when he was like 19 for what they call a romeo and juliet case but in this scenario she lied about her age. At any rate, he appealed and he was taken off the list thing but it wrecked my life for the longest time. Honestly, don't treat it like something big unless his step dad is actually doing illegal stuff currently. If you treat him different for it you'll make him feel like s**t.
of course if he is doing something illegal like owning child porn, he should be reported. but if you only think he is doing something immoral such as having unacceptable thoughts about children, he deserves the benefit of the doubt. even being accused and proven innocent of something like ***** can ruin a person's life forever. unless you have concrete evidence, something more than just suspicions, he doesn't deserve that.
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:37 pm
Masten December Deathgod of Legend Oh! I've seen this before wait yea, it's happened to me cept it was my step dad too who adopted me but wasn't really actually a *****, he got in trouble when he was like 19 for what they call a romeo and juliet case but in this scenario she lied about her age. At any rate, he appealed and he was taken off the list thing but it wrecked my life for the longest time. Honestly, don't treat it like something big unless his step dad is actually doing illegal stuff currently. If you treat him different for it you'll make him feel like s**t.
of course if he is doing something illegal like owning child porn, he should be reported. but if you only think he is doing something immoral such as having unacceptable thoughts about children, he deserves the benefit of the doubt. even being accused and proven innocent of something like ***** can ruin a person's life forever. unless you have concrete evidence, something more than just suspicions, he doesn't deserve that.No, there was proof but im sure he deleted it by now.
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The Committee Staff Gatekeeper
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:45 pm
Mai iS Censored No, there was proof but im sure he deleted it by now.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 8:53 pm
Mai iS Censored Zetao Odd that his step-dad would be married to someone he finds sexually unattractive. I'd be on the lookout for what actually motivates / attracts him to your BF's family. Yeah, its so weird hes married to an older woman. They have parties and stuff and of course there are children around...it makes me feel weird cause i know hes watching them. Believe it or not, people can find multiple things attractive... I knew a guy that was attracted to, amongst other things, barely pubescent girls, pregnant women, and extremely old women. Clearly, the step-dad is attracted to kids and grown women. And another thing. Being attracted to kids doesn't mean he'll actually molest them. I'm attracted to women, but I'm in a committed relationship with a man. Does that mean I go around raping women? Nope, because I have self-control. Crazy, right?
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The Committee Staff Gatekeeper
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:04 pm
Calliope Solipsism Mai iS Censored Zetao Odd that his step-dad would be married to someone he finds sexually unattractive. I'd be on the lookout for what actually motivates / attracts him to your BF's family. Yeah, its so weird hes married to an older woman. They have parties and stuff and of course there are children around...it makes me feel weird cause i know hes watching them. Believe it or not, people can find multiple things attractive... I knew a guy that was attracted to, amongst other things, barely pubescent girls, pregnant women, and extremely old women. Clearly, the step-dad is attracted to kids and grown women. And another thing. Being attracted to kids doesn't mean he'll actually molest them. I'm attracted to women, but I'm in a committed relationship with a man. Does that mean I go around raping women? Nope, because I have self-control. Crazy, right? With the pictures he had on his computer...it wouldnt be a surprise if he did. Soooo, what your telling me that its all cool an dandy if certain people are unknowingly leaving their children around a guy that could potentially rape them...thats cool. What does someone actually have to be touched to prove a point? Cause to be honest thats not right at all. And the only reason he didnt do anything is because I dont think hes had an opportunity....yet. Why would he rape women if hes married and on top of that the other option is illegal. Its a something people like him work up to they dont just wakeup and rape a person their sneaky about it cause they dont want to get caught.
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