Guess I belong in the "all their problems" category

[Jiraiya v2]

Help would be prayer.

I just broke up with him, I'd like to know whether I'm right or wrong. I'll try to keep the story as honest as possible, and I won't distort the actual truth and facts.

We were dating for almost two years. I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me. Every once in a while, of course, we'd have our fights; we always managed to pull ourselves together and be happy again. * I'd found him several times getting a bit too friendly with his female friends, and I'd found one of his "penpals" that he'd apparently be writing to for a long time without my knowledge, their letters a bit too friendly. I supposed it was understandable; he was just a friendly guy, and I tried my best not to let it get to me. * It was from there that I figured it was starting to get a little unfair. From what I'd experienced, he was a little less than trustworthy with other women; I, however, hardly talked to any other men besides him and when I did, it was purely friendly chatter, nothing romantic. He "caught me" talking to one of my old friends from a long time ago on Facebook, merely catching up, and told him that if he ever tried to talk to me again, he'd have to "do something" about it. * He put me onto his Facebook page, and I found out after months that it was actually a secondary page; he was keeping his main one a secret from me. * So far, that is a generalization of our relationship in the past. Catching up to the present; my grandfather died a few days ago. I called him on the phone late on a weekday (approximately 11pm), crying, begging him to stay up with me and help me along a few hours. He told me "No, sorry baby, I have class in the morning and I love you" before hanging up.

* * *

I will tell you that there have been very good moments, as well. He has always been tender with me, and no matter how awful our fights got, whether I'd call him b*****d and kick and scream and punch him, kick him, hurt him, say I hated him, tell him to go to hell or to go ******** himself...He has never once called me a name. He has never once laid a hand on me other than a gentle one. He has never once ever made me feel unsafe in any way. He has never pushed me to do anything sexually that I would be uncomfortable with. He has always told me that he loves me and talked about how he'd love to have children with me, he even gave me a ring.

* * *

I don't know how I feel right now. I wish I could stop loving him to make it easier, but I suppose I just can't.

Any advice or even kind words are very much appreciated.  

[kickblue]

I've gone through something like this before, and right now my gramps is in the hospital...
it's hard to get over it isn't it? For me, its been at least three or four years and i'm still a bit sad about my break-up. But, at least now i''ve gotten better at forgetting him, yet i still wish i could've at least apologized for saying "i hate you."
Don't be so miserable about it, i'm sure you'll find someone else. You can get your mind off of the break up if you do the things that you enjoy the most, like hanging out with friends, riding rollercoasters, etc.  

[Jiraiya v2]

kickblue

I've gone through something like this before, and right now my gramps is in the hospital...
it's hard to get over it isn't it? For me, its been at least three or four years and i'm still a bit sad about my break-up. But, at least now i''ve gotten better at forgetting him, yet i still wish i could've at least apologized for saying "i hate you."
Don't be so miserable about it, i'm sure you'll find someone else. You can get your mind off of the break up if you do the things that you enjoy the most, like hanging out with friends, riding rollercoasters, etc.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather; I hope he doesn't share the same fate as mine. He will be in my prayers tonight.

Yes, I can't even believe how difficult it is to stop thinking about. When I'm not completely busy, say no customers are coming in at work, my mind is just overrun with thoughts about him that I'd give anything to push away. But I'm currently with my best friend and we're playing video games together, it makes me feel better...But either way, it's comforting to know that others know how miserable this is. Thank you a lot for the support. <3  

[Areashine]

Jin the Shadow Wolf

That didn't sound too fair there. He was giving himself the liberty to flirt with many of his female friends, and yet when you talked to just one guy friend, just to catch up on the time, he goes and bitches about it? And then he didn't stay up and comfort you after your loss? Right on with telling him to go ******** himself.


He sounded more possessive than anything. It doesn't seem like he was as dedicated to you as you were to him. He kept secrets from you and wouldn't bother to spare time for you when you needed it. That doesn't sound so healthy in a relationship, especially if you can't completely trust each other.

I believe it was right for you to separate yourself from him. For the time being, keep your head up, and try to keep your mind preoccupied on other matters that don't concern him. I'm sure you'll find somebody who can put as much trust in you as you can put in him. :3

I agree with Jin.

If he was keeping a separate facebook page and kept it a secret from you, sounds really suspicious. Like there is something there that he doesn't want you to find out about. I think you made the right decision. No need to be caught up in a possessive relationship.