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 Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:05 pm
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Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:18 pm
The next time SkullKandy met with his new teacher it was nightfall. The full moon and twinkling stars were his only form of light as he made his way back through the path founded just a day or two prior. His footsteps silent, his breath a light whitish puff around his muzzle before floating upwards into the dark abyss of the night, his heart excited and open to whatever he would see and experience this night. It had been quite some time since he had experienced such feeling. In fact, he couldn't remember any time he had felt more at ease with his situation. Despite realizing after he had left the confines of the cave that he didn't even know the mare's name, it didn't really bother him. She would either tell him when she felt comfortable enough, or not at all. Although he would admit he wasn't sure what to call her while in her presence.
As it was Skull broke through into the clearing in which he found the cave, the moonlight a lot brighter here than when he was inside the forest trees. It was an odd feeling for sure, waiting for someone. He had always been alone with nobody else to rely on than himself. Shaking his head free of the past, there was no way he was going to allow himself to think about that now when there was so much to learn, he waited. One might question why he waited outside instead of going in to alert her to his presence. But he had a feeling she would already know anyway. Those eyes of her's seemed to give off the aura of knowing before anyone else would know. It intrigued him to say the least. She was very different than any other soquili he had ever met before. But she didn't scare him. She did give him a strange feeling of foreboding every once and awhile during their first meeting. But it wasn't really malicious. It was more....for the lack of a better word, neutralizing.
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:20 am
She did not come immediately, but sure enough, eventually the strange mare slip out of the cave. In the moonlight, her oil-black wings reflected the shine of the moon in a haunting way, and her movements were exceptionally smooth and graceful considering her ancient and haggard appearance. "We shall waste no time," she said to him. "Follow me."
She headed out into the forest, slipping eerily through the shadowed trees. She did not take flight - at least not yet - as she led SkullKandy away from her home.
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:09 pm
Skull followed quietly semi-behind her and to the left. His gaze was curious, watchful, and his ears kept picking up the sounds of crickets and the light wind that passed through the trees. Watching as the mare seemed to meld into the shadows of the trees, at least from what he could perceive, he wondered where they were going. His voice almost wanted to ask the question, but something continued to stop him. It almost didn't seem right to ask, to break the peaceful silence. What the stallion would see tonight he wasn't sure, but that was alright. For in order to learn he had to let himself relax and take in whatever she showed him, internalize it, and emulate it when needed at a later date.
The wind began to pick up a bit as they kept moving forward into the darkness. A few leaves were picked up off the ground and found placement on his hindquarters. But he paid them little mind, for it was the oncoming smell of blood that really caught his attention. It wasn't a whole lot, but it wasn't a little if he could smell it at this point. Skull's ears pricked forward in puzzlement and interest at the smell and he wondered if the mare leading him this way had intentionally done so for a reason.
"Blood is in the air," he murmured softly, almost sad that the silence was coming to an end.
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 8:15 am
Eventually the mare slowed and came to a stop at the edge of a copse of trees. She was silent as ever, the moonlight reflected off the eyes in her wings being about the only way SkullKandy could distinguish her from the shadows of forest. The stillness seemed to almost be a palatable thing: heavy and concealing. Just as SkullKandy was remarking on the smell of blood, a large cougar stalked past them - literally inches away from them, though it seemed not to notice.
The big cat was on the hunt, its body crouched and ears pricked forward. It slowed its breathing as its piercing yellow eyes began to focus on something in the distance; its muscular body growing tense as it calculated. Following its line of sight, barely distinguishable in the darkness, was a mother doe nestled in the thicket: a small baby by its side, trying to take its first wobbly steps.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:13 pm
Skull’s ears pricked forward in interest, his gaze going between the cougar, the small, newly born baby deer, and his teacher. He knew with out a doubt that the large cat was intending for this scene to become its meal. But he could help but wonder why Malach had brought them here to this spot. Watching a kill wasn’t something that he intended to be a part of tonight. In fact, if he was brutally honest, he really could care less if the cougar killed one or both figures in the clearing. Although it was a pity the new born wouldn’t see the light of day.
The cougar shifted its weight on its paws, its golden eyes dead set on the deer. The mother lifted its head up from cleaning its new child to sniff the air on high alert, as if sensing that something was nearby. The new born never stood a chance. Within seconds, the cat sprung from its hiding spot and SkullKandy watched as the mother and child tried to flee, only to be greeted with pearly white fangs taking down the smaller deer. The smell of even fresher blood poured into his senses and coated the forest floor with a thick read carpet.
He looked to Malach in question, silently asking her why they were here exactly. Her intentions were rather unclear at the moment and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be currently feeling or how he was supposed to react to this.
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:14 pm
For most, it would not be an easy sight. The predator held down the newborn fawn by its neck and it flailed widely for a few seconds; its long spindly legs thrashing about before the figure grew still… jerking a few times before letting death overtake it. The mother had fled, but stopped several leaps away, looking back with a flick of her ear; there was an obvious sadness to her face, a look of defeat. But no use wasting her own hide. When it was obvious her child was dead, she moved on, prancing away over the horizon.
Malach's face stayed facing the scene, though the eyes on her wing turned to Skull and seemed to meet his gaze. She was judging his reaction, though it was hard to tell if she was pleased or unimpressed. "What do you feel?" She finally asked, as the cougar began to drag its kill away.
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:06 pm
To be honest Skull didn't know what to think a the sight in front of him. Sure, watching a baby die in front of him wasn't a sight he'd wish on anyone. But on that same note he knew it was just a part of the circle of life and death. Things died. So what? And it wasn't him who was getting eaten. It was something else. But yet he knew he should be feeling something akin to sympathy? Remorse for the mother? But frankly neither of those two feelings actually seemed to be the correct way to answer. And so he didn't know if that should concern him or not. Hell he should at least feel sympathetic to the fawn who was now being gutted by the pearly white teeth of the mountain lion. The fawn's lifeless black eyes staring at him.
Skull cocked his head to the side in thought, nearly non-blinking. What was that feeling coming upon him? Guilt? Something else? He didn't know. Nor did he know how to tell the mare standing next to him, staring intently with all her eyes. Those all seeing eyes. To the contrary he found himself not wanting to disappoint her. And all these conflicting feelings weren't going to help. At least, that's what he thought on the matter.
"I...I don't know what I'm feelig right now," he began, struggling to find the correct way to put his answer to her simple question.
It was anything but a simple question in his mind.
"I feel as though I should be feeling remorse for the mother and fawn. Sympathy for the mother since she just lost her child. Sadness for the fawn for losing it's life so early on from birth. But yet," he paused, swallowing thickly.
"I feel nothing. I don't feel anything akin to those emotions. All I feel is confusion...and guilt. And I don't know why. I shouldn't feel guilty. And that guilt it feeding my confusion I think."
He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He didn't understand! Was this her intent? To confuse him? To show him something such as this which really held no connection to what he wanted to learn? It bugged him.
"I don't understand why you are showing me this. How does this help me understand the concepts we discussed earlier? Please explain. I would like to try and get what you are trying to bring across by this. To me this is just the natural order of things. Animals get eaten daily. It's not that much of a big deal."
He did his best. And that's all he could do. Hopefully it would be enough for her to understand his confusion. She didnn't seem the type to just let things go and move on when it came to such questions. And for that he was grateful.
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:22 pm
"Being honest with yourself is a key to these lessons," she said, still quietly observing. "Lying to me, or yourself, will ultimately do nothing but harm in your teaching. So please do not hesitate to express what you feel, even if that feeling is confusion or guilt."
She turned to go, heading back the way they came with a calm, even, steady gait. "True neutrality starts with understanding all the facts of life and ways of the world, no matter how gruesome they may seem," she spoke, her voice raspy and hard to hear over the wind. "Most understand the facts of life, death, and food, but still many would have intervened. Its natural for sympathetic creatures to view innocence, or youth, as something to be protected or cherished. They try to make sense of the senseless by putting order to disorder. But true neutrality is understanding the world in both its beauty and its ugliness."
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Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 7:45 pm
It starts with understanding death’s beauty and ugliness. Transcending it. Overcoming the stereotype. The yin and yang. That was something SkullKandy could understand. At least, start to understand. It was a simple concept really. One that was logical, small, and understandable. At least, in the sense that by itself and not applied to any situation, it was understandable. However, in this case, he wasn’t so much concerned about the concept so much as the fact that he didn’t really care. Like Malach just said, any normal soquili would have intervened despite knowing that death was a normal part of life, that youth was not exempt from that concept.
However, he didn’t feel the need to. Didn’t feel concerned enough to intervene. So did that mean he wasn’t normal? Did he actually like the scent of blood in the air? That he actually liked the fact that death was staring at him straight in the face and it didn’t bother him? Maybe he wasn’t normal. Maybe there was something wrong. Or maybe, just maybe, this idea of him not caring was what was needed for him to understand what Malach was trying to teach him.
Maybe…
This thought still left him uneasy which seemed stupid.
“I apologize but I’m bothered by the fact that I didn’t care about the young child’s death. It shows our own mortality. But yet I am still not bothered by it.”
He followed behind her quietly, just a few steps behind. Clearly he was disconcerted, and clearly he wanted hide it. But he knew Malach wouldn’t want him to. She already wanted him to voice his opinions, his thoughts, and he was pretty sure she wouldn’t appreciate him keeping this other thoughts to himself. She struck him as the type who wanted full transparency. Something that make complete sense as the Angeni of death. Someone who saw death for what it was. No holds barred, no smokescreen, nothing. Just pure and simple death.
And that was something he had to respect. If he didn’t he wouldn’t have asked her those few days ago to help him learn her art. He wouldn’t have met her hear in the dead of night. He wouldn’t have stood next to her as a lion feasted on the flesh of a young doe. Nor would he be here now walking slightly behind her to wherever she took them next. Or back to her lair since she was done for the night. It was certainly late into the night by now, probably 1am or 2am. The sun would be coming up in a few hours and he doubted she would come out into the sun. Hell, he didn’t really like it either. But at least he only had one pair of eyes to worry about. She had six eyes on each wing.
“Where do we go from here?”
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Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:07 pm
"There are many reasons you may not have been bothered by its death," the mysterious mare said. She slowed her pace, but just by a little. Her gait was even, steady; seeming both weightless and heavy at the same time. She seemed to almost glide; like a ghost. Her body so still save for her legs that moved that her head barely bobbed and her wings stayed constant; unmoving. She would seem like she was cutting through the air unhindered by the mortal shackles of earth unless one was looking very closely: The leaves and forest floor did get disturbed by her hollow, padding hoofbeats. The wind would catching in the spindly remains of her mane and rustle her black feathers.
"For one, you may not feel empathy for a creature that does not share your race. Some, especially predators, are not bothered by the death of a creature they view as prey or different You are not a deer. You could not produce children with a deer. The death of the young deer does not affect you in any way."
She didn't look at him as he spoke, she knew he was listening. Though occasionally an eye from her wings would fleck towards him.
"Or you do not feel empathy for those who do not share your blood. There is a drive in most living creatures to survive throughout eternity. Most achieve this through procreation. Therefore, the less creatures out there that share your bloodlines, the less competition for mates and progeny. Most don't realize they have this compulsion, but that is why most tend to favor their families more so than strangers.
Or perhaps you are more advanced in your studies than you believe yourself to be. You say you want to learn about true neutrality, and I think its fair to say your first lesson went well."
She paused for a moment, they were nearly back to her reclusive cave at this point. "There is also the possibility that you simply lack the ability to empathize. It is not common, but there are those out there who simply lack the ability like the blind lack sight."
While the concept of being in the company of a sociopath might have unnerved most; the mare did not seem any more or less plussed by this option than the others.
"As for now, you need to go and meditate on what you saw here today. How it made you feel. How you wanted to feel. And what it means for the concept of True Neutrality. When you feel you have truly understood, you will find me again."
She finally turned to face him, before disappearing back into her hovel. "If you have any questions for me, ask now. Otherwise we will meet again when the time is right. I sense from you an eagerness to learn, but you should not rush this."
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