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 Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:15 am
Just wanted everyone's opinion about this.
I'll try to put it in the least weird way that I can xD
Okay, so I'm 18. I've always been attracted to older men.
But for the longest I can remember I've felt this longing towards older men, and still do. Generally around the ages 28-50
I don't think it's a sexual or romantic feeling,
it's just I want an older man to love.
Like, I feel emotionally attached to grown men,
and want to feel loved by them..
May sound weird, but i envision myself becoming friends with a grown man, and hugging him, and just feeling close/safe to him
I personally feel it's because I never had a father figure while growing up,
because my dad was a piece of s**t and I went through a lot of s**t with him.
So it may be that I want affection from a father-figure type person since I never got it as a kid. What do you think?
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:26 am
I have felt exactly the same all my life. And me and my dad have pretty much hated each other all my life as well. So yeah, that could be the reason why. It's pretty common.
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:46 am
As far as I can tell it's jut that you craze and want an older-fatherly like relationship. If it's not in a sexual way then all I can assume is you want a daddy-like figure for your life where you missed out.
I, personally being a lesbian almost, don't really having many sexual desires for men or women. Age for me has nothing to do with it.
But a desire for someone no matter the age, gender, and such in a non-sexual light usually tells one that it's an eagerness for what they represent in their lives. Another example of myself is that when I get upset and/or really shaken I hug someone. The warmth and tight feeling calms me down. Like when I was a kid and my mother would hug me to make me feel better. It's a effect of a cause.
I see it rather normal for you if you never had a decent father figure.
I hope my educated guess/opinion helps. (I have a psych-major friend if you want me to ask him. But we all study this sort of philosphy.)
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:47 am
Your actually pretty on the mark there Wiccan. A lack or inadequate father figure can lead to an attraction to older men later in life. I'm not a psychologist, but that's not an uncommon occurrence. It's not weird, it's perfectly natural. Happens all the time.
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:53 am
I'm not a shrink but it does sound like you are wanting some father-figure sort of affection.
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 7:07 am
You seemed to have psychoanalyzed yourself. I don't see any reason any of us would have more insight. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:18 pm
Well although my mom and dad are divorced, I still seen my dad often. I ended up doing some things with a 45 year old (when I was 14) for seven whole years. Just ended last year.
To be fair although there were some things going on, I was really just using him but he got a little something something (never full blown sex) and I got money, electric, bills paid ect.
But I am still attracted to older guys from 25 upwards.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:12 pm
Freud would have a field day with us.
But I totally get what you mean, wanting a father figure and all.
(But according to some theories, it's absent fathers that make us butt pirates. Not that I agree with that theory. I was attracted to the same sex way before I became disconnected from my father)
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