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 Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:26 pm
Hello GGSA! A few weeks ago, I attended a small forum at my school that was hosted by our GSA club. We had a guest speaker (who happened to be gay) who is an advocate for the LGBT community. He had done research about the terminology people use to describe LGBT people, and why people use it. He also studied the connotations that are attached to these words. F**, queer, lesbian, gay, questioning, confused, et cetera... these are words people use constantly, and yet they claim they mean no harm when they use them, even if the terms generally have an "unhealthy" association. What do you think of this discussion? Righto. Side comment... He has a show called "This Show is So Gay." Cough cough. http://www.thisshowissogay.com/?q=node/20.P.S. Sorry if I made no sense -.-
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:41 am
My personal opinions, I'm not a fan of questioning or confused. Both seem to have negative connotations to me. Curious doesn't have such a negative connotation.
f** is a term I'll joke with but occasionally and only with certain groups of people. Outside of that, I see it as a negative term. I won't seriously call anyone here a f** even if that's their term of preference. Bigots like this term too much and as a result I view it as a tainted word.
Queer is another word I see in a negative way. I don't even joke with it and inwardly cringe when I see it used in LGBTQ or on shirts and the like. The other meaning, weird, isn't a word I care to associate with or use to describe people I know/like or strangers I don't know.
I'm curious what your speaker said about these words.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:15 pm
I don't identify as "gay"; I usually refer to myself as queer, and I don't feel it's a negative word. That said, I'm well aware of how other people often feel about it, so I wouldn't usually refer to someone else as "queer" unless they had done so first.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:07 pm
I will say, it is interesting how we seem to have our own terms people who are not lgbt affiliated do not understand.
When some people have asked me if i'm gay, I say bi, purely out of habit. I always get blank stares strait people or people who arn't out.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:57 pm
Lady Kayura My personal opinions, I'm not a fan of questioning or confused. Both seem to have negative connotations to me. Curious doesn't have such a negative connotation.
f** is a term I'll joke with but occasionally and only with certain groups of people. Outside of that, I see it as a negative term. I won't seriously call anyone here a f** even if that's their term of preference. Bigots like this term too much and as a result I view it as a tainted word.
Queer is another word I see in a negative way. I don't even joke with it and inwardly cringe when I see it used in LGBTQ or on shirts and the like. The other meaning, weird, isn't a word I care to associate with or use to describe people I know/like or strangers I don't know.
I'm curious what your speaker said about these words. Thanks for responding! He did say he felt that using these terms in a positive way is good, but often people use them jokingly in a manner that isn't that cool. For example, people might have a broken object and call it "gay." They could have used other adjectives instead of reverting to the word "gay," which clearly does not mean "broken." While he was talking to us, he did touch upon using these terms with certain groups of people, but not with others. Since it was quite some time ago, I don't exactly remember the details, but there's always a borderline of when it's too much... In my opinion, the situation is just like telling racial jokes. Often, an ethnicity or race can tell these jokes about themselves, but when someone is not part of that group, it's viewed as racist. *shrug*
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:36 am
liveXdarkheartXevil In my opinion, the situation is just like telling racial jokes. Often, an ethnicity or race can tell these jokes about themselves, but when someone is not part of that group, it's viewed as racist. *shrug*
But that also relates to what group you're with. For example, I can make black people jokes with a couple of good black friends of mine. And they'll make jokes about black people too. But around different groups of friends, or family and strangers, the jokes wouldn't be appreciated so they're not made.
I remember taking a psychology class that explained how life is moving from one stage to another, with differing audiences. The person you present usually changes from one stage to the next. Now that's not always the case, some people act the same way they do in every single situation but they're in a minority. I think that plays an important role in what jokes are used with who and what choice of words are used.
When my audience includes my close friends I've had since high school, I swear a fair bit more. When it includes my parents, I swear a fair bit less. In part I think it has to do with respect. My parents don't like the swearing so I don't force them to hear it.
Sometimes using the words ourselves takes the stigma from them making them less of a weapon. It's possible someone here could call me a f** but if they were joking, it wouldn't be an issue. Now if a stranger called me a f**... I'd be pretty pissed off. Even using the words to take away the stigma doesn't remove it completely. The word ****** is proof of that. Blacks use the term on themselves, comedians joke about it but when it's said in a certain way, it isn't funny, it isn't a joke.
And I'm waffling. That's what I get for replying before sunrise. xD; Sorry! sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 8:57 am
Here is how I myself feel about the common terminology.
Homo/hetero/bi/pan/trans-sexual - Well, that's exactly what it is...
Gay - Perfectly fine. The word "gay" technically means "happy", and began being applied to homosexual people, mainly men, because the stereotypical gay man is very flamboyant. now I know that there are many non-fem homosexual men, but seeing as how the word "gay" was never a bad for to begin with, I am fine with it.
Queer - Not the best term in the world. The word "queer" originally meant "weird" or "different in a bad way". I see this used with woman a lot more often with woman. I do not like that someone who is homosexual may be referred to with a word that means "weird".
Lesbian - I am fine with the word, although I have no idea where it originated from.
f** - A "f**" is, plainly and simply a piece of torch-wood. Later it was used as a word for cigarettes. I do not know whether it is used for gay people because they feel gay people should be burned, or because they are... a stick which someone sucks on... but either way I do not like the word.
Dike/Dyke - I do not like this word. I do not know how the word started, but i see it as the girl version of the word "f**"
Confused - Unless the person says that they themselves are confused, this term is abominable.
These are just the terms off the top of my head.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 11:19 pm
In my eyes
Homo/hetero/bi/pan/trans-sexual are all scientific terms, and are perfectly acceptable. I, myself don't particularly lake them, simply because describing part of what makes up a persons personality with scientific terminology seems a little cold and detached: just a tad dehumanizing, but nothing I'd hold against anyone who used the terms without that intention.
Gay/Lesbian/Queer I don't mind. It's a little light-hearted and jolly, and it's a nice enough word. It somehow doesn't come across as mature when used in a serious discussion, however. For instance, I can see a gay man with a boyfriend, but I see a homosexual, or a f*****t with a partner.
Now, I know I'm going to get burned at the f** for using that word, but despite the connotations and etymology, I like the words f** and f*****t. I think they're rather empowering. Maybe I just like offending people, maybe it's part of that ''we are here, and we won't be quiet" mentality, but yeah... I've always Identified more as a f*****t than a homosexual or a gay man. I use the term constantly, and am happy to be called it. But of course, like any word, it's all about context. I don't find words insulting, I find the way they are intended to be what matters.
I've got no issue with 'confused' or 'questioning' either. Questioning in particular is unobjectionable: it's exactly what they're doing. They are 'questioning' their sexuality and their notions of sexuality in general.
When it comes to 'confused', I can understand how someone could take offense at the term, but let's face it... it is a pretty confusing business: working out your sexuality. Of course context plays it's part again, for instance, it's offensive to call someone confused simply because they are homosexual or bisexual (or any other of the silly little subcategories).
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