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 Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:19 am
Often when I am standing on the metro platform and see the light coming over the hill in the distance at night, a strange sensation overtakes me. When I see the train rushing towards the stop I get a sudden grim impulse to drop everything and throw myself onto the tracks. It always kind of scared me when I had the feeling, knowing that depression and suicide run on my dads side of the family. However, I found that I am not crazy. This phenomenon is not just me, or people with depression.
L'appel du vide, The Call of the Void, The Imp of the Perverse, are all really kick a** names for it, and it is very common. So common in fact that the french made up the titular phrase about it, Malhazar from League of Legends actually has an ability based on the kick a** English name, and Edgar Allan Poe wrote about it.
So in this thread I thought it would be neat to talk about sensations the strange instinct has made you feel. From the strange notion of dropping your cell phone into a bathtub, to wanting to attack a random stranger, all the way to the ridiculous idea of throwing yourself off of a cliff. What kinds of calls have you ignored?
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:55 am
I kinda get the attack random strangers one. I know I would never do it, it just seems like some of the people around here don't need to be here. There are a lot of people that if they weren't here, then maybe things would be better for those of us who do. I may be a hypocrite for saying this, since I am suggesting we could suffer a genocide of ignorant people and be okay, but it's what I feel. Like I think if I needed to, I could kill a person without feeling remorse as long as it was under certain circumstances. IE Self-Defense or someone threatening someone I love. Dear god, I go absolutely livid when someone I love is threatened. That is one thing you do not do, I will ******** you up.
But an interesting thread I can see this being. Get into the inner-thoughts of some of the members here. So I dunno, I'm interested in seeing either some arguments or discussions going on around here.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:58 am
This only really happens to me when I'm frustrated.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:12 pm
Usually happens when many ******** are in a single place (ie: douchebag party) I'm either wanting to stab someone. How can such assholes go on with disregard to others? Instance with friends roommate where his roommate had pot and that could get them both kicked, then many ******** entered for "party". Other times when this happens I usually see how lonely I am, and contemplate suicide wondering if anyone really cares.
(Of course people care, I have friends and family)
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:20 pm
._. I seriously thought I was the only one.
As a kid I always had the urge to put my hand on heated burners or do stupid things with knives. I've always wondered why, since there didn't seem to be any good motivation for doing so. Oh Malzahar, is this why I main you? ; c ;
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:23 pm
I think I've approached the same thing, but in a different way. It isn't a small urge to die, but rather a curiosity for the "what if I were to die" scenario. It's never born out of frustration, depression, or any of the sort. It's always just an idle curiosity.
I'll be doing something rather mundane, and the thought will flit through my head, "What if I were to take the knife in my hand and plunge it into my eye socket?" or "What if were to purposely trip down these stone stairs and break my neck?"
Still manages to freak me out every now and again. :/
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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problematic briefcase Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 2:36 pm
Oh they come and go. :3 I wont go into details or anything, but they happen more often when I'm in a cramped area, like on a bus. Impulses when walking around downtown too now that I think about it. I would be worried about anyone who didn't think these things, tbh.
Not as worried about the fact that you can control your impulses, how do you know if Joe Shmo walking down the street isn't just going to randomly push Jane McCain and you into the street because he felt like it and his brain didn't stop and think?
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:17 pm
Ususally I get feelings like this, though not all are suicidal...
Sometimes, when I stare into the night sky and I'm outside, I feel compelled to just...walk. Not to any destination, not to find some familiar place or talk to anyone, but just to walk while staring up. Completely unaware of my surroundings and with complete silence in my own head...
And not to sound cliche, but the feeling gets 10 times worse when the moon it out... Just a brighter object of beauty to be captivated by, I guess.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:21 pm
This is a common thing? My family has no shortage of problems, so I always assumed it was just me.
The big one for me is sharp objects, particularly scissors. I get weird urges to cut/stab myself with them. Never to kill myself though, just to cause pain.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:22 pm
Just to be clear. The thoughts don't have to be suicidal and are not long term things. If you are having suicidal thoughts that last longer than just a passing crazy urge, you should prolly seek professional help. If you want to kill people for reasons other than a random thought, it is not the call of the void, and it is because people make you mad.
I get the sharp object thing too, especially in stores that have those little metal things in the isles that they hang action figures and junk from. I always wonder what it would be like to gouge my eye out with one, just to see if I could be an a*****e and try to sue the store.
Also one you wouldn't expect from me. Our friend IotP always tries to coax me into exposing myself publicly. Like all the time. It is always like. "Hey, you should take a s**t. Right here. It is a great idea. Right next to the fat lady who won't shut up. Do it man, s**t, and show everyone your d**k too. Make sure to have a really satisfied look on your face when you do too."
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problematic briefcase Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:40 pm
I don't think my bus one counts. That one's singing really loudly. I often hope other people would join too if it was a popular song. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but publicly humiliating myself is a grim idea.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:22 pm
Whenever something similar to what you guys are describing comes up, I usually picture myself justified in doing so, IE defending myself/someone else, etc. I always leave room to picture myself getting whacked while they run.
Yes, I AM an RL tank.
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Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:17 am
Every time I see a stick, I get this urge to pick it up and whack things with it in samurai fashion.
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