Dont Worry Kids, The Quotes Are Under My Comments
Don't get me wrong. I still believe in (most of) the Blue Essay below - I just have a better way to word it now.
If you'd like to know more about me, just send me a line. PM, Gaia IM, I don't care. Find me out, talk to me. I enjoy conversations.
16-18 year old me
How do you describe someone like me?The Pretty Blue Essay
I'm not the biggest, the strongest, or the fastest. I'm the smartest.
I can tell you exactly what you need to hear, even if it isnt true. I can also tell you what you should be doing, instead of what you are doing. I'm a very straightforward person, and I rarely need much of a reason to start making friends, or enemies, for that matter.
I've always thought that I was a pretty smart cookie, especially for being in my surroundings. Typically, I am easy going, level headed, and a good person to hang out with.
Sometimes I think I am at least partially autistic, because I'm always in my own little zone. I think too hard about things, and block myself off from whoever's around me. I usually debunk myself eventually, but sometimes it's there.
I am a damn good con artist. I can lie to get what I want, I can (but dont) cheat. I mostly do this at the workplace, and it's mostly petty s**t anyway. But my poker face is better than Peter Griffin's. I have a way with words that prevents me from stammering in pressure situations. I can keep a face straight enough to get by, and I can brag about it to people who wont sell me out. I win.
I'm not straightedge by any stretch of the imagination, but I wont do anything just to do it. This includes drugs, or anything of the sort. I have to have a DAMN good reason. Glaucoma, for example. xd
I have a wonderful girlfriend, even though I despise when people write this. I mean, I hate when people are like 'ZOMG I LOVE THIS CHICK SHES GONNA BE MY WIFEY!!!!!~' and rant and rave like they're the only one with someone special. So, I'll leave it at that. She's wonderful. 3nodding
And there she went. Oh well.
Holy s**t I really am cold. >.>
I hate people who have this aura like their s**t doesnt stink. I also hate cutters. Not hate as in 'They've made a stupid decision in their life, they are able to be fixed', I mean hate as in 'No. Go away. Now.'
I'm very nonviolent. If a fight does break out, I'm either watching, or finishing it off. No, that's not my ego talking. I'm really good at fighting. I just dont like fighting. Sure, I fight dirty, but I'm all about winning, not losing. Even if that means busted up kneecaps.
And, of course, my ego is enormous. Ask Lunaris. I have a really large ego, only dwarfed by...er...well, my lower regions.
*Expects a 'Yeah, he really does'*
Soon, I hope, I'll be going to a bigger and better job. Same company, better pay. I go where the money is. Not because I'm greedy, because I have a family to support. No, I dont have kids, but I might as well.
My RL Quest:
A new computer
As you can see on the left panel, I am fascinated with avi art. Give me some! Please?
Music is pretty much my life, and anyone who knows me knows this for fact. I used to play the sax before I got canned.
I bring up music alot because people seem to like the musician me. I havent played in a couple years but damnit I can still rock the sax!
My music interests are pretty broad, despite what SOME people might think. I can get into just about any music scene if the music and the lyrics are good.
Whatever is on my autoplay usually reflects this.
I firmly believe that any music can be liked, but fans are a major deterant to my enjoying music. If the fans are asshats, then I wont listen to it. Or, like I have with AFI, Panic, and Avenged Sevenfold, I'll force myself to warm up to it, and forget what the fans think/say.
I really hate bands in which women go 'OMGZ HEZ LIEK SO HAWT!!!~' in every other comment about them. They're not there for you to undress them mentally, they're there to send a message. Or they're supposed to be. Music isnt about looks.
About a year and a half into working, I've noticed something.
To make it easy:
To be stroked threefold
People who know what they want
lolcats, for whatever reason
The Open Minded
Wrestling (Man-Opera FT f'n W!)
Various styles of music
Clashing styles coming together
MARKING THE ******** OUT~!
Perhaps you want to know more about me?
Talk to me on a messanger. I dont mind.
I'm usually on.
SQUEE! MY COMMENTS HAVE RETURNED! XD
Read my journal here
House-isms Season One
Dr. Cameron: You hired a black guy because he had a juvenile record.
Dr. House: No, it wasn't a racial thing, I didn't see a black guy. I just saw a doctor...with a juvenile record. I hired Chase 'cause his dad made a phone call. I hired you because you are extremely pretty.
Dr. Cameron: You hired me to get into my pants?!
Dr. House: I can't believe that that would shock you. It's also not what I said. No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.
Dr. Cameron: I was in the top of my class.
Dr. House: But not THE top.
Dr. Cameron: I did an internship at the Mayo Clinic.
Dr. House: Yes, you were a very good applicant.
Dr. Cameron: But not the best?
Dr. House: Would that upset you, really? To think that you were hired because of some genetic gift of beauty not some genetic gift of intelligence?
Dr. Cameron: I worked very hard to get where I am.
Dr. House: But you didn't have to. People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That's the law of nature, and you defied it. That's why I hired you. You could have married rich, could have been a model, you could have just shown up and people would have given you stuff. Lots of stuff, but you didn't, you worked your stunning little a** off.
Dr. Cameron: Am I supposed to be flattered?
Dr. House: Gorgeous women do not go to medical school. Unless they're as damaged as they are beautiful. Were you abused by a family member?
Dr. Cameron: No!
Dr. House: Sexually assaulted?
Dr. Cameron: No.
Dr. House: But you are damaged, aren't you?
Dr. House: [to the crowd in the walk-in clinic's waiting area] Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board-certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who is forced to be here against his will.
[turns to face Dr. Cuddy]
Dr. House: That is true, isn't it?
[turns to crowd]
Dr. House: But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine. You can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?
Dr. House: And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys?
[everybody raises their hands]
Dr. House: Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change your mind.
Dr. Cuddy: Jody Matthews?
[Jody raises her hand]
Dr. Cuddy: Please accompany Doctor House to Exam Room One.
House-isms Seasons 1-2
Dedicated to the best doc on TV. Gregory House!
Dr. House: You Jewish?
Dr. Petra Gilmar: Yeah.
Dr. House: Is it true what they say about Jewish foreplay?
Dr. Petra Gilmar: Two hours of begging?
Dr. House: I heard four.
Dr. Petra Gilmar: Well, actually I'm only half-Jewish.
Dr. House: Did you see her shoes?
Dr. Wilson: Her shoes? What, did your horoscope in Vogue tell you to avoid women wearing green shoes?
Dr. House: The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
Dr. House: Wow. Well, you've certainly given me a lot to think about. If only I was as open as you.
Dr. Cuddy: Well...
Dr. House: Actually, it was your blouse I was talking about.
Dr. Cuddy: You lied to them!
Mrs. Park: He told us our son was dead.
Dr. House: It's only a white lie. Technically, all I did was call them a little early. Trust me, he'll be dead real soon. Actually, I saved you some rush hour traffic.
Dr. Wilson: (about Cameron) So she's really coming back?
Patient: Who's coming back?
Dr. House: You don't know her.
Dr. Wilson: You give her a raise? Increase her benefits?
Dr. House: Don't have TiVo on this thing, can't rewind. Shut up.
Patient: You lower her hours?
Dr. House: You don't even know her!
Dr. Wilson: Who is this guy?
Dr. House: He's a patient.
Patient: He's examining me.
Dr. House: He's got to go back to work as soon as I'm done with the examination. Guess I do too.
Dr. Wilson: It's got to be something. I mean, she didn't come back because she likes you.
(Wilson gets a strange look on his face)
Dr. Wilson: Wait a minute! She did come back because she likes you!
Patient: Heh heh! You dog! You slept with her!
Dr. House: Keep talking. I'll finish your exam with a prostate check. (to Wilson) I've agreed to take her on one date.
Dr. Wilson: What?
Patient: So, you into this girl?
Dr. Wilson: Yes.
Dr. House: No! She's not giving me any choice.
Patient: Wait... she's making you do her?
Dr. House: Date her.
Dr. Wilson: Young ingenue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor; her sweet gentle nature bringing him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart.
Patient: (puts his arm around House's shoulders) Do her, or you're gay.
Dr. House: For God's sakes.
(He storms out as Wilson and the patient start singing...)
Dr. Wilson, Patient: (singing) ...sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...
Dr. House: Grow up. And learn to harmonize.
(Dr. House talks to Concerned Mom who thinks that her daughter has epilepsy)
Dr. House: In actuality all your little girl is doing is... saying yoo hoo to the hoo hoo.
Concerned Mom: She's what?
Dr. House: Marching the penguin... ya ya-ing the sisterhood... finding Nemo?
Little Girl Patient: (giggles) That was funny.
Dr. House: It's called gratification disorder, sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify oneself, that would be a disorder.
Concerned Mom sad covering little girl's ears) Are you saying she's masturbating?
Dr. House: (making fun of the mother by talking out of the corner of his mouth so the little girl supposedly won't see that he's talking) I was trying to be discreet. There's a child in the room.
House-isms Season 3
Dr. Cuddy: I have sad news for you: She doesn't love you.
Dr. House: You're ugly when you're jealous.
Dr. Cuddy: She showed up at my house last night—came on to me.
Dr. House: She's more perfect than I thought.
Dr. Cuddy: She has mole on her right breast just below the n****e.
Dr. House: No, she doesn't.
Dr. Cuddy: You've seen her breasts!?
Dr. House: It was a medical exam. I was listening to her heart. It went Greg-House, Greg-House, Greg-House.
Wilson: From what I hear the patient reminds her of you, not me.
Dr. House: Cameron sees a clump of dirt and she thinks of me.
Wilson: Or a lump of something else.
Dr. House: Where's Chase?
Dr. Cameron: Haven't seen him since you told him to sit on his a** yesterday.
Dr. House: Interesting.
Dr. Wilson: : I'm curious..
Dr. House: [interrupting] No, you're not!
Dr. Wilson: : Why steal my pad?
Dr. House: [mockingly] Oh my God! You're right! I'm an addict, thanks for opening my eyes!
Dr. Wilson: : No, I mean why my pad. Foreman, Cameron, and Chase's pads are just as convenient, but their association with you is involuntary. They're employees. I associate with you through choice, and any relationship that involves choice, you have to see how far you can push before it breaks.
Dr. House: This is easy. You ask the questions, answer them, and make tasty snacks!
Dr. Wilson: : And one day our friendship will break, and that will just prove your theory that relationships are conditional, and you don't need human connection or deserve it or whatever goes on in that rat-maze of your brain.
Dr. House: [to patient] Sorry, if I had known he was going to be this annoying, I would have stolen Dr. Cameron's pad, Dr. Foreman's car. At least she appreciates my brooding melancholy.
Dr. House: [cellphone rings, he answers] House's house of whining, state your complaint!
Maddy: I'm 4'1". That's 1.5 canes in metric.
Dr. House: You don't look a day over 4 feet. I saw in the file that her Dad was normal-sized.
Maddy: It's averaged-sized.
Dr. House: Compared to you I'm sure it was huge. So did he have a fetish, or did he just fall in love with your long-legged soul?
Maddy: He grew up in the circus. Said I reminded him of home. Seems like you're the one with the fetish.
Dr. House: I'm certainly curious about the logistics. Did you stand on a table?
Dr. Cameron: House!
Maddy: Pretty much he'd lay flat, and spin me.
Little Girl: Can I have a french fry?
Dr. House: Get your own!
Little Girl: You took the last ones.
Dr. House: What's wrong with you?
Little Girl: I got spinal muscular atrophy.
Dr. House: I guess it's not contagious. Nice bear.
Little Girl: It's a dog.
Dr. Cuddy: House. It's not Stills. Steroids helped until the patient started bleeding from the ears and mouth.
Dr. House: It's a bear.
Little Girl: His name is Bill. He's a dog.
Dr. Cuddy: You win. You can have the Vicodin.
Dr. House: Words have set meanings for a reason. If you see an animal like Bill and you try to play fetch, Bill's going to eat you, because Bill's a bear.
Dr. Cuddy: Are you on something? You got your hands on pain meds.
Little Girl: Bill has fur, four legs, and a collar. He's a dog.
Dr. House: You see, that's what's called a faulty syllogism; just because you call it a dog doesn't make it a dog.