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 Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:07 am
Dear forum, Is there a nice way to tell your friend that their character is a Mary Sue? My friend has this...glaringly obvious Mary Sue of a character. I've tried to understand the character but the more I try the more confused I become and the more frustrate she gets. Other people have expressed similar confusion, misunderstanding, or outright distaste for the character, and each time she gets offended. Any time I or anyone else tries to make a suggestion she takes it as some personal attack against her. She says she's tried to fix the problem but is never happy with the results. I want her to be happy but what she has now seems to be causing a lot of animosity between her and other Gaians. How do I talk to her about this without hurting her feelings? Or should I just leave it alone and tell her to ignore what other people say even if it alienates her from the people and players? Any advice? Note: From what I understand she's one of those Supah Speshul Sues! Feels her character needs to be the sexiest, most powerful character in the room, or else she isn't interesting enough.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:59 am
Actually those people are kinda better to be avoided. If you're trying to change her, you'll waste your whole life on it. Whatever you're trying to tell her, you'll hurt her either way, even if you're trying in the most extreme polite way, because she simply is like that.
But, dunno, just to be clear, did anything happen in her life some time ago? Like, her parents being divorced, someone died or anything alike?
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 9:16 am
Tinkily Actually those people are kinda better to be avoided. If you're trying to change her, you'll waste your whole life on it. Whatever you're trying to tell her, you'll hurt her either way, even if you're trying in the most extreme polite way, because she simply is like that. But, dunno, just to be clear, did anything happen in her life some time ago? Like, her parents being divorced, someone died or anything alike? She's usually rather depressed but I'm never sure why. She says her family ignores her but also complains that she can never get a moments peace from them.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:45 pm
Skadi Sundermount Tinkily Actually those people are kinda better to be avoided. If you're trying to change her, you'll waste your whole life on it. Whatever you're trying to tell her, you'll hurt her either way, even if you're trying in the most extreme polite way, because she simply is like that. But, dunno, just to be clear, did anything happen in her life some time ago? Like, her parents being divorced, someone died or anything alike? She's usually rather depressed but I'm never sure why. She says her family ignores her but also complains that she can never get a moments peace from them. Yeah, she's pretty much the common attention whore then. And by what you're saying she's probably raised wrong. Point is she could change (maybe, sounds even unlikely to happen, not sure what age she is or anything about her, I'm just guessing) if someone can slow her down at least a bit, even if it means to hurt her multiple times. Someone has to point her out she's doing it wrong, she can't just always get her attention, she can't have the spotlight all the time and that she still has someone to listen to her (if not her parents, then at least you). If she keeps it her way, her friends will start leaving (and I bet some left already). Just ask her why she's acting like she is acting already, and if she asks "like what?" just tell her what she's doing. Maybe she comes to her senses (or it might end in disaster as well). Or you could simply ask what's going on in her life and try to "put yourself into her shoes". Then you might as well understand her better then as well, you're showing you care like that as well. But in any case, she needs help otherwise she'll never learn. *
(in case I didn't make sense at all, my apologies, I wrote this at like 2 am my time, and I couldn't sleep xD)*
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Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 9:41 am
I reckon you should tell them that their character is a Mary Sue. It's certainly what I would do, but maybe not the best idea.
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:47 am
Sanguine Lupis I reckon you should tell them that their character is a Mary Sue. It's certainly what I would do, but maybe not the best idea. I did do that. She doesn't want to hear it.
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:40 am
Keep at it, I guess. I'm not the best at giving advice, so I don't have much else to say.
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:00 pm
Well if she's getting really offended by negative feedback, and not listening to your suggestions, maybe she shouldn't be writing. You can't please everyone, but if you're getting generally negative feedback...
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:58 pm
Bella Swan? No, that's mean...
Seriously, there is no reasoning. I'm down with Mary Sues that have stuff wrong with them, but in cases like that i think you should just explain it as clearly to her as possible and avoid the character.
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