✗ ✗ Ӄatsue
xxxxA pill to make you numb
xxxxA pill to make you dumb
xxxxA pill to make you anybody else
xxxxBut all the drugs in this world
xxxxWon't save her from herself
It was always the same old thing, day in and day out, moving through life in a drugged up, dreary state of both mind and body. Corners became fuzzy, the sunlight dull, the moon unpolished, the grass was never greener on either side, the uninspiring descriptions could go on forever. Everything was predictable, there was a routine to be followed and it was, to ever singly last detail.
Katsue woke each morning, sun filtering through the curtains and birds chirping, a scene that would make anyone break out in a large smile, but she just moved through life with an indifferent look upon her face. She rolled out of bed and trudged towards the closet, lined with white button up shirts and navy knee length skirts. In the drawers, rows of knee high socks, plain underwear, and bras. Two pairs of plain black flats adorned with a small bow, which probably had the most personality out of anything that could be found inside, lay on the ground. Her face was washed, teeth cleaned, hair brushed and pulled back into a low pony tail. Pill bottles were popped open next, thorazine and other antipsychotic, as well as antidepressant meds slide down her throat with the help of water. Food followed, always something simple, like a bagel or toast. She then went along her daily business, going to classes and doing homework, never socializing or making friends, but hey, who'd want to be friends with an emotionless, expressionless, thoughtless shell of a person anyway.
One morning something was different and as she stared out the window, her eyes falling upon two birds perched on a tree branch a smile, appearing out of no where, had found it's way onto her lips. Actually, if she really thought about it, it wasn't out of nowhere. The past few days had been slightly different, progressively becoming stranger and stranger. No, stranger wasn't the right word for she had felt these things before. So, thinking about it, things really had been getting more normal. When she pulled open the closest, she didn't mindlessly just pull on clothing, she actually looked and thought for a moment how boring they were. When she looked in the mirror, she disliked the way her hair looked. When she went to swallow her pills, she actually hesitated, but in the end took them.
This continued for a few more months until full thoughts were once again forming in her mind and not just careless, unimportant ones, but opinionated, interesting ones. Katsue woke up, the day sunnier and brighter then usual, and as she pulled herself from bed, she paused and stared out the window. "It's time for a change." She whispered to herself, then turned and charged over to her bathroom. She uncapped and spilled out multicolor pills all over the counter top. Inspecting each one, it became apparent that they only looked like her pills, with one missing detail, the inscribed insignia of the brand. Her meds had been switched, how she was not sure, but her impulsive side was back and instead of caring, she just swept the pills into her hand, threw them into the toilet, and flushed.
Moving from the bathroom, she moved to the closet, but found nothing she wanted to wear. Grabbing a pair of scissors, she cut a skirt so it fell to her mid thigh, then just pulled on a button up shirt, and slide on a pair of shoes. Katsue rummaged through the suitcase which she had moved in with, where she found her stash of money. "Perfect."
With her clothes heaped in her arms, she walked outside and dumped them into the first trash bin she found. Her first task of the day was to find new clothing, some with personality. It wasn’t that difficult to find a store that fit the bill. She spent over an hour inside picking out a new wardrobe. She strutted out in a tight black strapless top and vest, paired with a pair of jeans which clung to her body, held up with a belt and knee high boots. Running her fingers through her hair, she grimaced. She couldn't leave her hair the way it was. So off she went in search of a salon and it wasn't long before she was sitting down in a chair, salon cape around her shoulders, hair dripping wet, and a man standing behind her with a gleaming pair of scissors. "Short." She said. Pausing, she added, "and some white highlights here" she motioned to a strand of hair, "and here."
The girl who walked out, was completely different from the one who walked in, for she had somewhat resembled the image of her drugged up self. The Katsue who walked out, well, she was her own person again. "There is just one last thing I have to take care of." Dance lessons. She hadn't danced in such a long time and her body was longing for the movement. She longed for it so much. She missed it so much. How long had she been drugged, just trying to think about it made her head hurt. She couldn't remember.
It was then something caught her attention in the corner of her eyes. A large, almost crazy looking smile pulled its way onto her face. "Hello old friend, I've missed you." She said, the people who passed her by all had to take a double take, yet, nobody could tell who she was talking to.
