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 Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:00 pm
my parents are separated. my mom and I live with my grandma and handicapped uncle. My mom and I share less than 1 bedroom. my g-ma has a tendency to be extremely critical, and controlling. my grandma also listens to my aunt who is very domineering, about our situation instead of my mom.
There are days when i would like nothing better than to smack them in the face.
My g-ma's house has been robbed twice in the last two months and my grandma has done nothing to secure the house better.
My dad, doesn't work and he didn't fight to keep my mom and I; that hurt. i know he loves me; but when he just let us go, that told me he cares more about an old house than he does about me. I know it's not true, but it feels that way.
I no longer even have my dogs for company and comfort. crying
my half brother is is jail for something he didn't do and it's possibly going to keep him from seeing his step-daughter untill she's 18, and he's missing the early childhood of his youngest little girl.
my half sister has recently had health problems.
both of my siblings live in another state.
i'm preparing for my Senior year of HS and am worried about finding ways to pay for the private Christian College that i hope to go to.
Sometimes I feel that have to be the strong one, because my mom is hurt too and she's doing her best; but sometimes, the things that my aunt and g-ma say make her feel useless.
Please pray that someday i will be able to fully forgive my aunt. i really don't think I'll ever trust or respect her again. she has and sometimes still does insults both my parents in front of me, and it feels like she is insulting me, which she has also done a few times.
my heart is broken and every time it starts to heal, someone rips it wide open again.
i know there are people worse off than me and i want to help them, but i don't know how.
Sometimes i feel completely alone, that no one understands me, and yet i cling to a mask that always smiles even when i'm shrivelling up inside. i am trapped, and i long to be free. i am hurt and yet sometimes i run from the healing because it hurts. i want to sing a joyful song yet all that comes to my heart is tears.
" Deep inside this armour, the Warrior is a child" I don't remember anything else about that song. but it kinda describes me.
thank you for taking the time to read this, it means alot. smile
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Ultra -Goals- rolled 20 100-sided dice:
4, 62, 3, 73, 76, 46, 73, 85, 94, 67, 9, 25, 20, 18, 32, 77, 41, 85, 37, 21
Total: 948 (20-2000)
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Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:38 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:09 pm
Say what?
F*ck your g-ma and aunt.
Talk back, tell them they are being selfish bitches.
Just do it, they'll know you mean business.
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:22 pm
I don't quite understand how badly you feel because I haven't gone through the exact same thing but I can tell you one thing. You are not alone. You have people who love you. You have people who care. You have a man who was willing to go through crucifixion for you. You are not alone. Christ will guide you through that night, of that I'm sure. There is a way to mend your relationship with your aunt and grandmother if they are willing to listen.Matthew 18:15-17 Christ doesn't just give you some proverbial words of wisdom that not many people understand. He lays out a step-by-step plan to mend shredded relationships. And remember it's hard but no matter what it's still our job as Christians to forgive. It may not seem possible but that's what makes our faith unique. Think past yourself and how you feel and think of how Christ sees the situation. Remember you are not alone. You never will be.
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Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:31 am
Thank you, and I know I'm not alone even though it feels like it sometimes.
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:56 pm
You know let me ask you something, when you feel depressed who do you run to? because if you run to people, yourself, or even music to help you, then it's no wounder you're so down in the dumps, you need to run to Christ for comfort! biggrin and run HARD after HIM!!! Run to your saviour! To the one who loves you with a deep and passionate love that no one else can love you with! Why run to someone or something else when you can run to GOD who knows the numbers of the hair on your head, he and only he alone can help and complete you! You can experience comfort and love and Joy and Peace all with God alone smile you don't need people smile or anything else. I will pray for you and your family and I pray that as well that you run HARD AFTER GOD! SEEK HIM AND PLEAD WITH HIM FOR HELP WITH THIS SITUATION AND ASK FOR HIM TO HELP YOU FORGIVE OTHERS AND TO TRULY LOVE HIM AND YOUR NEIGHBORE UNTIL HE RESPONDS! Remember you can't do this on your own strength because if you do you will fail but he can do it for you and is willing! smile http://www.ellerslie.com/The_Gospel.html
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:10 pm
Thanks and I do run to Jesus. He's the only reason I'm still here. smile
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:15 pm
Kristalle_Rose_120 Thanks and I do run to Jesus. He's the only reason I'm still here. smile Haha me to... me to... smile
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 7:37 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:40 am
i feel bad about ur situation and i also like to add a prayer request to pray for ou fallen soligers and soligers who r still alive thanks for the prayers
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 6:45 pm
I will pray for you. If you need someone to talk to let me know.
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