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[Revise] Lynod's Application for City Folk: Penmanship

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Lynod

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:36 pm


Name: Penmanship
Nickname(s): Pen, to friends. Ole-Fuss-and-Feathers and Mother Hen to his political rivals.
Age (Appearance Wise): In his late forties.
Age (Actual): 73
Personality:

Dedicated: The bird defends any cause he feels worthy with life, limb, and the strength of his powerful oration. The bird has been known to spend days crafting the perfect speech, eschewing sleep and food in order to pen the correct words. Though many politicians might waffle on their opinions and ideas, especially with physical and political pressure exerted, Penmanship staunchly stands by what he believes. Though he might back down temporarily in order to regroup his forces, Penmanship will not leave his beliefs by the wayside.
Humanitarian: Penmanship has dedicated his life to the advancement of all classes of City society. A chance encounter and an ill-fated romance in the Lower City led him from the typical elitist views of his class. He sees the rich vaulting themselves to the heavens, leaving the majority with little room in increasingly confusing settings. Through legislation, political marriages, and passionate oration, the old bird has slowly increased the lot of those below the High City's heavenly spires.
Perceptive: Nearly since birth, Penmanship has been attached to a House with political dealings. His long experience in the field grants him the ability to see the lies that people tell others and themselves. The bird is able to peer into another and find truth whether to demolish an opponent or help a friend.


Stubborn: Once the bird sets on a certain course, he is either incapable or unwilling of giving it up whether it is an economic program or a personal rivalry. It has taken many arguments, and down-right shouting matches, to steer the bird from set paths, leaving him with more than a few ruffled feathers.
Prideful: Penmanship has a high opinion of himself and his accomplishments. Sweet words spoken by a friend can sometimes muddy his perception. In addition, Pen is known to grow argumentative and even physically violent when his name is dragged through the mud. He will sometimes be unable to see the faults of his proposals or legislation due to his utter belief in himself and is hungry for recognition that he so rightly deserves. Though technically a High Person, he prides himself above their elitist tendencies and tosses the title aside in debate much to the horror of his political rivals.
Wrathful: Woe to anyone who becomes Penmanship's enemy! The bird will pursue them to the ends of the earth, bringing them discomfort and displeasure. Many former politicians caught the eagle's eye only to meet his rebuking lips. Penmanship will verbally lambast anyone who crosses him, forming eloquent and moving speeches for the mere purpose of destruction. Penmanship doesn't merely stop at eliminating his enemies from the field, however, but attempts to make their very existences bleak. There is a tale about how one of his Housemates was gravely wronged by a particular individual. Within the year, the man was penniless and deserted by former allies due to being a suspected plague-bringer.

Thoughts on the Forest:
The Forest is a source of mystery and contemplation on the bird's part. Penmanship wishes to enter and explore the surroundings for the benefit of his fellow citizens, who strain in the rapidly filled city, but is surprisingly hesitant at the backlash he might suffer from those who view the Forest as holy. He also seems held back by the idea that political opponents would love for him to "disappear" in the papyrus folds of the forest.

Thoughts of Book Children:
The Book Children are a source of curiosity for the old bird. Many recite books he is unable to find in the city's vaulted libraries, leading him to believe there exists a vast world outside of the City. Penmanship views the Book Children as strange, though welcome, citizens and strives for their rights alongside those of City People.

Thoughts on City People:
Penmanship holds varying views of City People. He feels primarily pity for the Middle and Low People, while he tends to view those of his own standing with disdain. He believes that the High People are far too greedy and care too little for those that they should foster with noblesse oblige. Crime, squalid conditions, they are all used to denounce the Middle and Low People, but he feels these are merely products of the distasteful position the High People have placed them. Pen's thoughts might be skewed by the fact that, while he attempts to champion the poor, he is an outsider with all classes when it comes to personal relationships.

Physical Appearance:
Penmanship cuts an imposing figure, tall body and broad shoulders allowing him to dominate a room. Some might call the bird's arms too long, but they prove perfect for casting attention to himself or others during a speech as well as intimidating anyone who might think to do the politician harm. A frill always occupies his neck, seeming to give the bird a feathery mane.

History:
Penmanship was found by a wealthy couple who immediately noticed the nobility and strength that the child carried and brought him into their world. He was given the best in tutors, food, and clothing with every advantage laid before him but he was unconcerned. The bird indulged himself in the vices of the city rather than seeking to serve, indulging in gambling, alcohol, and prostitutes. While he indulged in all of the sin of the Middle and Lower City, he looked down upon them with all the relish of a noble. It was a chance encounter in the Lower City that changed his life. It was there that Penmanship met a Low Person who was the visual and verbal superior of any of his high-born compatriots.

A romance-blossomed, far more serious than his previous dalliances, and Penmanship was made aware of the inherent inequality in the City. As more people piled in, the rich escaped to the skies, leaving the impoverished out of sight and mind. Penmanship began to question his previous beliefs and stances, and his argumentative nature was turned against the status quo. With new drive and intiative, entered houses of debate and graduated to politics in a nascent 'liberal' faction, using the wealth and power of at his disposal.

His parents, at first cheered by his movement to politics, grew horrified at the policies he pushed for and enacted in addition to the increasingly obvious low-born company he kept. The death of a Low Person would be of no consequence, and if the murder cut their son from such maddening policies and poor familiars...

The incident backfired. A blood-covered Penmanship arrived at the Parliament, the limp form of his beloved in his arms. Members, horrified at his appearance, decried him, called him insane for his piece of 'baggage' and the lack of decorum and demanding he leave with such an obvious travesty before them. It was there that Penmanship launched into one of his most fierce and memorable speeches. The oration, known as "the Crimson Rebuke," brought to attention the inherent humanity of the Low and Middle Classes. When combined with the bird's ferocity and his evidence of the dismissive nature of the High People toward their "lessers," many were shamed into backing Penamnship and strengthening the bird's political power.

The greatest savagery of his career was also born from the incident. Over years, Penmanship withdrew his finances from those of his family's, all the while studying their moves. His parents escaped murder charges due to the lack of "convincing testimony" as a peasant murderer didn't carry the prominence of two nobles. Technically illegal, but widely accepted, business practices were eventually conducted by his parents, and Penmanship launched forward with the fervor of one betrayed, pushing investigations and using every bit of his political power in order for a conviction. His parents were imprisoned, their estate taken by the City, and Penmanship orchestrated every step. The fate of his parents served as an example to any who might cross the avian.

Penmanship has spent the last several decades in the pursuit of equality, using a mixture of kindness, subtlety, brashness, and cruelty to obtain his aims. Alongside his House Rusk, he has forged a brilliant career in the political arena.

Hobbies: Writing, crafting models, architecture.

Birthday: October 22nd

Favorite Things: Accolades, debates, aged brandy, books, rainy days, social justice.

Hated Things: Braggarts, social inequality, the High Class, political rivals.


Favorite Story: The Most Dangerous Game
Font: Don Quixote
Job: Politician
Class: Upper Class
Fears: The ultimate subjugation of the lower/middle class. That his political career will be for naught. The secrets the Forest might hold.
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:13 pm


Revision Needed: Detailed

Biggest thing that stands out is word choices and phrasing. A few times you make statements that would dictate other players reactions and responses, or, make statements that reflect perfection or absolute qualities. Just re phrasing or picking different word choices will have a HUGE impact on the profile. Making statements as to how others will react VS how they might react or how Pen sees his own actions and the reactions they might cause, open readers to wanting to RP rather then feeling they would be obligating to RPing in a railroad.

Dedicated: Word choice, avoid making defining statements. Also, aside from his views of the classes, what other causes is he dedicated to? The trait rides on one aspect of his past and views, but lacks definition as to how it would play out when interacting with other people not in his social circle. Expand more into how this covers more then political or class status. How does this effect his day to day life and everyone he might interact with.

Humanitarian: Again, word choice and context. Also still only covering one aspect of Pen's activities. While he may be heavily influenced by his politics, it is not his only character aspect.

Perceptive: City people are not born so much as they appear from shadows over time, (will touch on this later). Same as above, word choice needs revision, expand on how it covers all aspects of Pen's life, not just out facet.

Stubborn: In being stubborn, how would this work if he is given something he utterly cannot fight? A fact he must simple live with? What would make him give up his battles without arguing? If he argues on things, does he regret them? How long would change naturally occur? Stubborn is a flaw that many people have to various levels, if Pen has extreme levels of this, show it with more of how it happens on a day to day basis and how it would effect character relationships.

Prideful: If he is so perceptive, how would he allow words spoken to him by a friend manipulate him? There is a direct contradiction there. In being physically violent, this is also contradictory to him being a politician since it would only get him into hot water and scandal. Not to mention ruining his own reputation and casting his supposed humanitarian view into question. Word choice also comes into play here again. You can world build to an extent, but making grand statements that would pretty much godmod the setting of the shop really can't be made.

Wrathful: I am really confused here since it is a really far flung thing for a politician to have, especially one who is so geared toward the betterment of his fellow city people. Why would he go to such lengths to basically ruin someone when they have already lost if his goal is to help the city overall?

Thoughts: Again, word choice and asserting statements.

History: Off the bat I am going to say read the IC setting and look more into certain city mechanics. One thing is that he would be unable to carry his dead lover. The dead would shatter if moved or touched. You have a colorful history, but I can't approve it as canon since various factors break shop canon.

Since Paper Forest does have serveral 'grey areas' feel free to drop as many questions as you want in the QnA to better help define the setting and thus, build with it and around it. While the profile needs work, the overall concept is really nice and I like the idea of political figures being taken up by players.


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