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 Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:04 pm
I go on and on about it all the time that, so I'd like to hear from you guys.
What was you're first experience with God like?
Any advice for those seeking that first experience?
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 7:22 pm
Well, I know it wasn't my first time, but it was the first time I was aware of God actually dealing with me.
I was 14...
I had actually asked God into my heart at age 7, but it was mostly because I didn't want to go to Hell....
Anyway, I had issues with people who called themselves Christian. I was constantly picked on, and alienated by my peers, people who went to church, joined the "Abstinance clubs", held "Prayer meetings" before class... The whole shebang.
One day was particularly hard, I remember it all pretty damn well...
I was almost ready to tell God to 'F*** off!". I was tired of Christians, I was tired of having no one to support me if I wasn't near my family, and I was tired of people trying to kick my a**.
It pretty much took me being so tired of being afraid that I refused to be afraid anymore... And I put this emotion, and frustration, and anger all into a prayer, and I sent it out. I focused all my meager faith that God may exist, and I prayed. I figured, if nothing happened after that prayer, I would know that there was No One to listen.
I was in the woods up in my oak tree by my house, and I was bawling because of the events of the day at school. The next thing I know I was lifting my head to see the last of the sun through the trees, and I realized that I had a dream. I can't say I was asleep, but it was like missing time or something. One moment I knew I was miserable, full of anger, and hate, wishing death on people, and crying; the next moment, I am at peace, happy, and wishing enlightenment on people. And in between those 2 moments an hour and a half had passed that I was unaware of.
It's cool that I never fell out of that tree the whole time either, because it was a pretty precarious perch. LOL
I really believe that my experience required for me eliminate the fear that had made me scared into Salvation, and letting God show me the Love that I so craved. I believe the spirit of fear was what drove me as a youngster, and then the fallible teaching that once saved always saved deceived me into believing that I was all good, until my spirit was ready to collapse beneath the weight of confusion.
I think for some people, like me, an experience with God really requires us to acknowledge our raw unadulterated emotions and give them to God to deal with them. God already knows what is in our hearts, but when we try to pass them off as not as bad as all that, we aren't being honest with ourselves. If we try to bury them under what we are supposed to be, they are still there to resurface later, and those issues will be bigger when they do...
So I guess the short of my advice is, be honest with yourself. God knows your heart and thoughts, so your most disturbing aspects are no surprise to Him. Any doubt that you have won't be dealt with if you pretend you don't doubt.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:44 pm
I was what you'd call a bit of a hardcore Atheist. By the end of my Atheism I was more open, mostly because I was looking into many religions.
My boyfriend {No fiance} was a Christian, and he knew I was willing to learn about Christianity. He bought me a Bible, but it honestly didn't hold much interest to me. He showed me many things, but words held nothing in my mind.
Still, I felt a longing, and so I agreed to go to a Newsboys concert with him. That was pretty much going to be my final look into it.
Well, at the concert I was screaming in my head how stupid all these people were, and I was saying how God didn't exist. But I started crying. Crying so hard. Shaking. And I felt love. So much love. I didn't understand it at first, then I actually felt God and His desire to be in my life.
For awhile recently I've actually been kind of distant from God {Not disbelief, just general distance}, but this last week at church I had that feeling again. I shook, cried, and sang with all my heart. It was amazing.
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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:10 am
I honestly don't know. I wasn't raised in a Christian house but I still somehow fell into it. It's hard for me to discern what was a genuine experience and what was me feeling something just because I felt I was supposed to,
I will say my most profound experiences have been while working with a program called Project Transformation. PT is an outreach ministry that provides a four day a week day camp during the summer for kids living in inner city Dallas, then on Friday's we get to explore different ministry and vocational paths. We live in a Christian community, have devotional every morning and intern worship once a week. It's just a really amazing experience.
I've fallen in love with the kids I served there and the friends I made there. The kids are some of the most amazing kids in the world, and we always talk about how we're there to teach them, but in the end they end up being the teachers. They poor out so much unconditional love to you, it's amazing. Plus I've made some of the closest friends while being there. I got closer to people there in two months than I did my entire freshman year of college. It's totally amazing.
I'm going back this summer, and I'm going to try to totally give myself over to what God wants from me while I'm there. No preconceived notions, no "I've done this before". I just can't wait.
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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:15 pm
I'm gonna dub this the "goosebumps page" because I get goosebumps reading the posts for some reason....
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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 6:13 pm
Eltanin Sadachbia I'm gonna dub this the "goosebumps page" because I get goosebumps reading the posts for some reason.... I know, right?
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:42 am
Wow, thanks for sharing your experience guys, that was touching to read for me.
My parents were somewhat interested in religion and quite sympathizing with it, but they weren't Christians. It wasn't easy to get materials and information about Christianity in this country back then; they were rare and difficult to come by (the regime was supressing it).
Then about 15 years ago (already after the fall of socialism) my older step brother (who didn't live with us) started attending the Methodist church and invited us too. I was still a child then, I didn't care much about the songs or reading from the bible. But I attended the children's programm there and I liked that. And from then I was just growing into it; as a child it was easy for me to accept what I was taught about God, the gospel etc. I started praying regularly and I felt convinced of God's presence and that it was right to accept these beliefs and live by them. I'm grateful I could come to faith at an early age; later it would be much more difficult.
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:11 am
My experience wasn't actually all that dramatic compared to some people. sweatdrop I was raised Christian by my mom, who taught my siblings and I to pray, and told us about her experience. A lot of people at my church are closer to me than my extended relatives, or heck, even my dad and brother. You know how some Christians have a spiritual birthday? The first time they prayed the sinner's prayer, they save that date? I don't. I know I was somewhere between two and four (probably two considering how fuzzy the memory is) and something made me feel sick inside. It wasn't physical, but think how things feel after a big catastrophe, like 9/11, or after someone you know dies; you'll have a general idea how I felt. Well, I ended up telling mom (apparently my brother and sister did around the same age too; I'm just the only one who remembers), and so she asked the battery of questions, like did I feel like throwing up. Than she asked if I had done something wrong, and I think I said I did, so she prayed the sinner's prayer with me and you kow what? It didn't fix everything, not at that moment. He changed me later. I still think that's the moment I became a Christian though, even if later on was when things changed. That's when I decided to seek God, because I wasn't going to live with that horrible feeling for the rest of my life.
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:15 am
Before I can explain my call back to Christianity I need to give a little back story. I was nearly sucked in a very manipulative cult. Fortunately a friend of mine had been digging into this group and exposed them for what they were. I was very grateful that he helped me get out of that mess. At that point though I was fed up with any religion. I was slowly reducing it to a proto-psychology at best with everything being a mental construct. I was loosing my faith and was about to give up seeking anything spiritual ever again... well at least for a long time. I got a message from another friend later on and asked me to watch this clip, Simon Zealotes, and he asked me to pay attention to this video and share what I got from it the following week. I listened to it the first time and you know the song was very catchy and Simon has such a beautiful voice in this video. I listened to it over and over and it finally hit me. I had no clue who God was. The only thing I knew about God was what that old book had to say and what others told me about who God was. I was truly agnostic to God and not only that but I have been assuming stuff about God for all my life. Funny how it is that the being I was terrified of and wanted to be no part of I didn't know. I took it upon myself to get to know God. I prepared a special spot and took some time out of my day to just ask God, "Show me what you want to show me." With my eyes still shut I saw a light brighter than the sun but soft to "look at". I was filled with joy and euphoria yet humbled and amazed. It was feeling of freedom and personal questions I had about Christianity were answered, not with words but it was like that "Ah, ha!" type of sensation. It was February 28, 2009 when I stopped believing in God and began knowing that God was there.
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:25 am
@Robbie: February 28th is the date after my birthday and before my sister's. biggrin
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:27 am
xxEverBluexx @Robbie: February 28th is the date after my birthday and before my sister's. biggrin Woah cool. biggrin
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:45 pm
Eltanin Sadachbia I'm gonna dub this the "goosebumps page" because I get goosebumps reading the posts for some reason.... But that's definitely a good thing! I actually get goose bumps every time I think about my "first time", anyways. XD
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:50 pm
rmcdra Before I can explain my call back to Christianity I need to give a little back story. I was nearly sucked in a very manipulative cult. Fortunately a friend of mine had been digging into this group and exposed them for what they were. I was very grateful that he helped me get out of that mess. At that point though I was fed up with any religion. I was slowly reducing it to a proto-psychology at best with everything being a mental construct. I was loosing my faith and was about to give up seeking anything spiritual ever again... well at least for a long time. I got a message from another friend later on and asked me to watch this clip, Simon Zealotes, and he asked me to pay attention to this video and share what I got from it the following week. I listened to it the first time and you know the song was very catchy and Simon has such a beautiful voice in this video. I listened to it over and over and it finally hit me. I had no clue who God was. The only thing I knew about God was what that old book had to say and what others told me about who God was. I was truly agnostic to God and not only that but I have been assuming stuff about God for all my life. Funny how it is that the being I was terrified of and wanted to be no part of I didn't know. I took it upon myself to get to know God. I prepared a special spot and took some time out of my day to just ask God, "Show me what you want to show me." With my eyes still shut I saw a light brighter than the sun but soft to "look at". I was filled with joy and euphoria yet humbled and amazed. It was feeling of freedom and personal questions I had about Christianity were answered, not with words but it was like that "Ah, ha!" type of sensation. It was February 28, 2009 when I stopped believing in God and began knowing that God was there. That's so beautiful. And I know exactly what you're talking about in the last paragraph. I felt that last Sunday at church. And yeah, I don't care what people say. I'm not about to tell people they're somehow wrong in their beliefs, but I also came to a "knowing" not "believing". 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:46 pm
violette lumineux That's so beautiful. And I know exactly what you're talking about in the last paragraph. I felt that last Sunday at church. And yeah, I don't care what people say. I'm not about to tell people they're somehow wrong in their beliefs, but I also came to a "knowing" not "believing". 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:59 am
I have never had any such "special experience" like you guys mention.
But it's alright and it's not a problem for my faith. Even if I had such an experience it probably wouldn't make a difference because how could I know that it was really from God and not just from my emotions? (People are very good at this generating emotions in themselves and convincing themselves that they have a spiritual cause, so if that happened to me I wouldn't know if it can be trusted as a "proof" of hte spiritual realm).
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