Welcome to Gaia! ::

I have no idea. I guess add people as friends?

Dear badtzmaru,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a seasonal Xmas! I'm sure visions of milk and cookies-plums are already flying in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your cards with boughs of chalk? Have you spiked the ice cream sundae with plenty of water? Have you hop your earmuffs by the chimney with care? Did you leave out cake and some coca-cola for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours quickly,
SoThatAznGirl

Dear l-Kathulu-l,

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is getting warm and cozy when it's cold outside. Right now we are all huddled around a p***s for warmth drinking p***s. I'm reading a book on the history of p***s-- really p***s stuff. What''s the weather like where you are? I heard it might get pretty p***s before the week's over. Oh well; rain or shine, you can always hop under a p***s and snuggle up with a p***s on your lap!

Yours inappropriately,
l-Kriel-l

Dear l-Kathulu-l,

Looks like winter's here--scrumptaints have been falling all night and now the ground is completely covered! I almost couldn't get out of the house; this stuff is up to my pingas. So I got out a fleshlight and bamfed them into a pile. Jesus and I have been jumping in it all day. I'm hoping that the weather changes, though; before Christmas I really want to make sperm angels.

Yours smarmily,
Cabron the Swan

Dear l-Kathulu-l,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a bamf Xmas! I'm sure visions of bamf-plums are already bamf in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your bamf with boughs of bamf? Have you spiked the bamf with plenty of bamf? Have you bamf your bamf by the chimney with care? Did you leave out bamf and some bamf for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours bamf,
Orphie

Dear Shiny Gligar,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new d***o you saw in Wal-Mart-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left p***s to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand rapes to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Jesus, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch bamfman in the v****a for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours brutally,
Tonberry Crunch

Dear Shiny Gligar,

Today we decorated our holiday rather phallic obelisk. I hung strings of electric monkey wrenches all over it, and topped it with a cockwaffles. It's Mexican! Plus it smells like a cheap old-lady perfume, wafting holiday cheer throughout the house. Pretty soon I'm going to bamf some cookies to give to Captain Beefheart. I've got a few special ingredients I want to include: some copies of the Kama Sutra, chinese Zodiac signs and scrumptaints berries. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Yours xenophobically,
Cabron the Swan