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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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 Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:18 am
So.
Rhed and I were alone together in his dorm building's common room.
And a group consisting of three lesser sluts and a wigger-gangster-bro came in.
They were loud.
And they began building three gingerbread houses.
Rhed and I, turned away from them and both holding laptops, began to google chat with each other making fun of them and all the things they were saying.
And this is what we said, no edits.
Complete with timestamps.
Horrible typos intact. Because some of them started becoming intentional, some of them make everything better, and some of them were how they actually pronounced things. xd
Without further ado, I give you The Gingerbread Chronicles.
Google Chat with Rhed
Dec 5, 2010
7:47 PM
me: YO I JUST BROUGHT STUFF BACK
YOU CAN TELL HOW GANGSTER I AM
JUST BY HOW I TALK
IN FACT
I'M SO GANGSTER
I MAKE GINGERBREAD HOUSES WITH WOMEN
Rhed: ******** YEAH
MORE ICING
me: SO GANGSTER
Rhed: ******** WHITE CHRISTMAS
7:48 PM CAUSE ITS CAKE
me: THAT I SEND MIXED MESSAGES
Rhed: FEBREZE IT UP LIKE CRAZY
(actually tahnk you)
me: WE NEED TO MAKE SURE MY GINGERBREAD DOESN'T SMELL
Rhed: YEP
OHHHH YEAH
me: ICING
Rhed: DAAAAAAMN
me: OHH YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH
FIVE TABLESPOONS
7:49 PM Rhed: 5 table spoons?
screw that
me: OH GOD SO MUCH WATER
Rhed: MORE ICUNG
3 CUPS
me: DRWNING IN WATER AND ICING
AND FEBREEZE
Rhed: THIS IS NOT A CAKE
me: SO SKILLED
Rhed: HOW IT GETS DONE
me: YEP
7:50 PM Rhed: this is awful
me: STIR
Rhed: you'd know
me: STIR LIKE YOU'VE NEVER STIRRED BEFORE
ACCURATELY, THAT IS
Rhed: yep
me: I MEAN, LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO STIR
Rhed: he's kinda just going up and down
me: HAHAHAHA
Rhed: yeah
me: SHE SAIDTHICK AND SMOOTH
Rhed: AND
7:51 PM AND
AND'
SHE'S A WOMAN
me: HOHOHOHOHO
Rhed: THAT's LIKE
HILARIOUS
me: SO GOODAMN FUNNY
Rhed: GOTTA TWITER THIS s**t
me: ALL OVER THE PLACE
7:52 PM Rhed: I feel a little bad
me: I did too.
And then I stopped.
Rhed: yeah
ok
nevermind
...
me: SPERM WATER
Rhed: ICing + water
Sperm
me: THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE BRUTHA
7:53 PM BRUTHA
Rhed: explains how it's the equivalent of 7 pints of haagan daz
me: oh my god
this is canon now
Rhed: makes total sense
3 girls one gingerbread house?>
me: SCISSORS
7:54 PM SCISSORS FOR GINGERBREAD
******** YEAH
Rhed: really THICK ice cream
icing*
me: oh no
OH NO
Rhed: course it does
it's sugar
me: WE BURNT THE GINGEBREAD THAT CAME IN A BOX ALREADY BAKED
Rhed: that's racist
me: XD
7:55 PM MINE
MINE
Rhed: no
me: MY ICING
Rhed: no
******** you
me: MY SPERM WATER
Rhed: that's my icing
******** you
me: I WILL PROTECT IT WITH MY LIFE
Rhed: tastes good
you dont even know
me: MOAR WATER
Rhed: ********/> me: MOOOOOAAAAAR
Rhed: WE ARE OUT OF CUPS
me: OH GOD
Rhed: 'CAN NOT BE
me: THEN HOW WILL WE GET MORE WATER
7:56 PM Rhed: um
liek
with
a basket
for water
me: brilliant
YEP
I"M STRAIGHT
Rhed: did I mention i am heterosexual today
me: DID I MENTION-
GODDAMMIT
Rhed: haha
7:57 PM me: We need to show this to Kristen.
Rhed: yeah we do
me: She;d get a kick out of it.
Rhed: i think so
yeah mom im with my friends
...
forever a tool
me: i talk on the phone and lose my gangster accent
Rhed: um
me: and pop bubble wrap
Rhed: they put the icing on the inside?
7:58 PM me: LIKE A BOSS
Rhed: yeah
wow
well yu dont cut it before
me: PFFFF
IT'S GONNA BE A GINGERBREAD PARTY
WOOOOO
Rhed: cant wait
me: EVERY ONE IS COMING
Rhed: imagine it being
7:59 PM like
glue
me: THEY ALL JUST CALLED
Rhed: like the icing
is like
me: you mean
Rhed: actually
me: you mean
Rhed: i mean
like
listen
no
no
me: it tastes like it
Rhed: listen
like
me: OH GOD
Rhed: glue how glue is
me: IT REALLY IS SEMEN WATER
Rhed: like icing
me: GUMDROPS:
LIKE SKITTLES
Rhed: ******** YEAH
8:00 PM me: WAIT
WAIT
WAIT
WAIT
GUYS
Rhed: saw it coming
me: BEFORE ANYTHING
WE MIGHT NEED TO CONSTRUCT THE HOUSE
Rhed: let's pretend this isn't semen
me: I'M NOT SURE, THOUGH
I COULD BE WRONG
Rhed: take a picture of it
it will last longer
8:01 PM me: THE HOUSE'S COMPLETION MAY OR MAY NOT BE INTEGRAL
Rhed: I THINK IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT
TO BUIL
D
me: ARE YOU SURE
Rhed: THE HOUSE
me: I COULD BE WRONG
Rhed: IT IS A HUNCH
go to the right
up to
the sencond floor
8:02 PM the building doesnt move
it is still the same way
me: i'm so good at existing. XD
Rhed: yep
the second floor
like
the one
above
me: BAM
Rhed: the other one
me: BAM
Rhed: are you seeing this s**t
WHAT
8:03 PM WAIT ******** WAHT
me: MARVEL AT MY BILITY TO PUT FROSTING ON A SLAB OF PAPR
Rhed: dont make the frosting yer?
you already did
what have you been doing
i dont even understand
me: TOO THIN
LIKE SEMEN WATER
Rhed: needs more hagaan daz
8:04 PM me: yupyupyup
Rhed: ok
so can you hear him at all
do you understand english
me: no i only understand gangster
Rhed: yo
here we go
me: yo yo yo
********/> Rhed: gangs all here
me: PFFFF
8:05 PM Rhed: lol
me: HE ONLY HAS WOMEN FRIENDS
Rhed: like she said doning
and like
me: ...This could bode well for me. >_>
Rhed: like you'd want to
me: no
Rhed: my point
me: i prefer people whose forst language is not gangster
8:06 PM *first
Rhed: he'd febrezee your d**k off
me: OH GOD
MY d**k
Rhed: ok
me: IT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE AYTHING OTHER THAN FLOWERS
Rhed: get your minds
off of sex now
me: SEMEN WATER
Rhed: cause gingerbread houses
are the worlds greatest sex joke
me: they are the sexiest thing
have you ever used on as a sex toy
8:07 PM Rhed: um
me: they are the best
THANK YOU
Rhed: could be argued
me: THE FUNNIEST WORDS
HOHOHOHOH
Rhed: she is the closest to competant
me: is she
Rhed: sadly
me: they all sound the same to me
Rhed: yes
me: and I don't really look all that much
Rhed: she at least figured out that the icing holds the house together
me: PFFFF
WOW
8:08 PM HEY GUYS
I HAD TO PEE
Rhed: woah
me: JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW
Rhed: that's cool
cause you know
we cant pee
never seen that before
me: nope
ladies don't pee
Rhed: nope
me: they just can't
Rhed: only one hole
doesn twork
me: trufax
8:09 PM Rhed: SO ******** CUTe
me: YOU SOUNDED LIKE ROSA
Rhed: MY a**s hurts?
me: THAT b***h
Rhed: god rosa
good thing she's not here
like
me: I GOT IT I GOT IT
Rhed: to build a house
me: CONFIDENCE
Rhed: like look
a house
me: IT TAKES SO MUCH CONFIDENCE TO BUILD A CAKE HOUSE
8:10 PM IS THERE FROSTING IN HERE
THERE MIGHT BE
I;M NOT SURE
IS THERE FROSTING IN THE FROSTING CONTAINER
Rhed: i dont think they built it yet
me: they're so good
Rhed: memory of like what
10 minutes
8:11 PM THIS IS NOT HAPPENED
ITS NOT THICK ENOUGH
me: SEMEN WATER
NEEDS MORE WATR
Rhed: no no
cause like
man
me: WE GOTTA GET THIS RIGHT
Rhed: that would make it
less thick
me: ARE YOU SURE
Rhed: you gotta get it right
YOU NEED CONFIDENCe
ok
8:12 PM so
we are going to wash this
and make it thicker
me: IS THIS THICK ENOUGH
NO
THERE'S WHITE GOOP ALL OVER MY PANTS
Rhed: ok
me: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
Rhed: WE GOT IT THICK NOW
me: HOHOHO
Rhed: OHOHOHOHOO
me: I AM SO CLEVER
Rhed: INDEED
8:13 PM ******** YOU AMAKE THE BEST JOKES
me: I DID IT GUYS
YAYAY
Rhed: Yeah
icing
right here
let's spanish
me: SPANISH
Rhed: nope
me: i love you josh
Rhed: no one understood it
everyone does
me: i miss you
Rhed: oh man
8:14 PM me: you ight up my life when we are together
Rhed: house party
me: i just wanted to say josh
Rhed: oh god
me: WHOAH HOLY ********/> Rhed: like that shirt is so last month
me: PEOPLE
Rhed: lagiacris rearing back
me: AND ONE GUY
Rhed: another dude
this is a first
me: 7 ladies
2 guys
Rhed: nope
me: WAIT
SOME ARE RETREATING
8:15 PM Rhed: he was just here to pick up his swing
me: okay
Rhed: he's done with this s**t
me: any ways
as i was saying
josj, you make my life so much better
we need to be married josh
Rhed: ******** shut it im busy stirring
me: i love you jish
Rhed: SHUT IT
YOU MADE ME MESS UP
me: how did we grow apart jash
8:16 PM Rhed: just look at his face
me: what we had was special, jesh
Rhed: while he stirs
me: loo late
Rhed: yeah sorry
me: BBWOLF
Rhed: here he goes
me: BLOW
SO DETERMINED
HRRRG
I CAN DO THIS
Rhed: stiring with sheer willpower
me: YOU GOTTA HAVE CONFIDENCE
Rhed: oh yeah
8:17 PM me: marissa
Rhed: baby you know i ******** love you
me: marissa you'r making a mess
ohmygaw
i can't think and stir at once
Rhed: i cant stir and stir at once
me: PUT IT OWN
NOBODY IS FALING NOTHING
Rhed: wait
8:18 PM guys
me: TUS
THUS
Rhed: waht is this
is this
me: EVERYONE IS FAILING EVERYTHING
Rhed: a gingerbread house
marissa shut up
me: marissa
Rhed: we are making a house
me: marissa
why are you talking
when you should be stirring
Rhed: you should be stiring
yep
me: you can barely stir
Rhed: like
me: why complicate it with talking
8:19 PM Rhed: WHY DO WE HAVE ALL OF THIS BREAD
me: BREAD
SO MUCH BRED
Rhed: ITS ALL OVER MY PHONE
me: WHAT CAN WE POSSIBLY DO WITH IT
Rhed: I DONT KNOw
but guys
more frosting
more stiring
me: semen water
more stirring
wore water
Rhed: ithas to be THICKER
me: more stirring
8:20 PM Rhed: MORE STIRING
DO YOU HAVE TO BAKE GINGER BREAD HOSUES
OH MY GOD
me: WHAT'S IS even his problem
is like heg got BROAD SIDE SCHOOL FED up the BONE BULGE
IT DOESN'T STICK
Rhed: IT DOESNT STICK
Xd
8:21 PM me: TOO MUCH SEMEN, NOT ENOUGH WATER
Rhed: Xd STIR
Xd stir more
lesbians time
me: EVERY ONE IS JUDGING ME
Rhed: I WAS BUSY THINKING
me: no wait just those two guys
8:22 PM I AM SUCH A PRO
I AM THE KING OF GINGERBREAD
Rhed: you gotta kinda like
like
like
like
me: FLIP IT RURNWAYS
Rhed: no no
Turnways
me: you heard that right
he totally said it
8:23 PM Rhed: i know
me: it was the best thing
Rhed: he did
We need super glue
me: YOU SEE
KIDS THESE DAYS
Rhed: this is just a decoration
me: LISTEN TO THE RAP MUSIC
Rhed: we cant really eat this
me: oh noooo
Rhed: get the breain damage
me: it must be all the semen
Rhed: get's to your head
me: WHO HAS A HAIR DRYER
8:24 PM Rhed: we need to soder the house
word yo
me: WE MIGHT NEED IT TO DRY THE HOUSE OR MELT THE CANDY
Rhed: AW DAT s**t
me: OH NO
MY HAND IS COATED IN SEMEN
Rhed: DAT PEPSI GON
imagine trying this s**t at home
me: IMAGINE TRYING TO DO THIS AT HOME
Rhed: fuking crazy
8:25 PM me: IT WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT
Rhed: like
profesional
dip
me: nonono
like
Rhed: ******** marrisa
me: kids all over
Rhed: stop eating it
now we need more semen
me: very different from the thousands of women that storm this place every ten minutes
Rhed: really
I never noticed that
8:26 PM me: LOOK HOW MUCH EASIER THAT WAS
YOU SEE HOW I DID THAT BETTER THAN YOU
IT IS BECAUSE I AM A MAN
Rhed: what a coicidence it is that we are better than everyone else
wait
do these
need
to stand
to make the walls
DAMN CHECK THIS s**t OUT
8:27 PM me: WHAT'S THIS SHITSTAIN
MY ROOF IS ON FIRE
Rhed: fukin TOOOOPs
me: unintelligible gangster muttering
Rhed: whore nado you mean
i think its fine
but
its
me: MY ROOF IS CROOKED
Rhed: its not fine
8:28 PM ******** this
me: WELL ******** THIS
Rhed: put a lot ot
me: DROWN IT IN SEMEN
Rhed: drown in SPERm
are they power welding?
hold this for 20 minutes?
I WISH CAT WAS HE
me: I WISH WE HAD A CAT HERE
8:29 PM Rhed: HE WOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING
me: IT WOULD BE IRONIC
NOOOOOO
MY HOUSEEEEEE
Rhed: i'm gonna picketup, and put it upside down
me: FIX IT
Rhed: you gotta fix it
me: Y'ALL
MY HOUSE DIED
I CAN'T TELL WHY
Rhed: A SUBA SUBA
8:30 PM me: huhwhut
Rhed: your house is upside down
the houes isnt even like
me: MY HAND IS COATED IN SEMEN
Rhed: up
me: SEEEEMEEEEEEN
Rhed: saw that coming
me: GIGGLES
GIGGLES
Rhed: fix'd
me: MY HOUSE IS FIXED NOW
Rhed: we didnt need walls
8:31 PM me: SEE HOW IT IS A COLLECTION OF BREAD LABS COATED IN SEMEN
FIXED
*SLABS
Rhed: yeah
wait
what
me: IMMA EAT DIS s**t
Rhed: not legit josh
me: josh i love you
love me back jish
Rhed: shut it youyr portugesee
me: noooooo
my one true weakness
8:32 PM Rhed: can we make a garage
me: being portugese
GINGERBREAD CAR
YEAH
Rhed: frosting wheels?
what
marissa
me: TRYING TO SABOTAGE THE HOUSE
Rhed: stop hogging the semen
me: no
it is my semen
mine
8:33 PM Rhed: you have to belive
me: THAT"S MY HEAD
LAUGHLAUGHLAUGH
OH MY GOD
Rhed: ho its like a toaster
me: IT"S A TOASTER
Rhed: my thubs are dead
me: I'LL DECORATE IT
WHEN IT IS DRY
8:34 PM WHEN THE ICING HAD COMPLETELY DRIED
THEN I WILL PUT CANDIES INTO IT
Rhed: XD
me: THEY WILL STAY PUT FOR SURE
Rhed: THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG EVER
me: IT IS THE ONLY SURE WAY
do they have their concepts of dry and sticky backwards? XD
Rhed: i think so
8:35 PM me: it seems pretty consistent so far
WE NEED THIS TO BE SO STICKY
SO GO GET MORE WATER
HAHAHA
HE SAID SQUEEZE
OH LORD
8:36 PM Rhed: oh s**t
me: HEAVEN ALMIGHTY
Rhed: protect my house
me: I PRAY TO THEE
PROTECT THIS HOUSE OF GINGERBREAD
UPON MINE TABLE
Rhed: Yo
me: I STROKE ITS TOP LOVINGLY
Rhed: GINGER BREAD ADVENTURe
me: OHHHHH YEAHHHHHHH
oh god you;re right
XD
8:37 PM Rhed: XD
too good
me: its like foam adventure all over again
Rhed: I'm going to be giggling about this forver
me: GOING TO BIRTHDAYS NOW
Rhed: 100$ car?
the ********/> me: Wow.
Rhed: Sucha deal
me: That's a pretty damn cheap car.
I MIGHT AS WELL SAY
Rhed: steal a thon
me: ******** THIS KCUGING ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** PM Rhed: get as much money from your hoe as yo can
me: POCKEST
Rhed: XD
me: HEY
DO YOU GUYS WANNA JOIN
WE MIGHT NEEDS SOME COMMON SENSE
Rhed: They broke the fourth wall
8:39 PM time to fix
me: oh god
Rhed: ...
...
me: EVERYTHING
Rhed: apshhh
apshhh
me: a-pshhhh
APSHHHH
this
Rhed: SSSSSSSSSSss
me: this is my new solution to everything
Rhed: apsh
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
me: "Is there womething you don't like?"
8:40 PM Rhed: sssssssssssssssssss
me: APSSHHHHH
Rhed: female creepers?
apshh
me: I'm waitign for her to explode
Rhed: yep
me: WAIT GUYS
YOU"RE PUTTING CANDY ON TOO SOON
YOU NEED TO LET IT DRY
Rhed: apsh
me: pash
shap
saph
haps
Rhed: OUR OUSE IS THE BEST OUSE EVERY
8:41 PM WHOSE OUSE, DO YOU KNOW
WHO HAS
CANDY ON
me: i'm almost bri-ish
Rhed: ghetto british time?
the terror
me: except it is gangster instead
IT MIGHT BE GOOD
IF WE FILL SOME CRACKS
Rhed: how do those cake people do it?
8:42 PM me: HEY
WE GOTTA DECORTE THE HOUSE
Rhed: Im affraid of water
me: WITH CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
Rhed: do you shower?
me: nope
Rhed: are you affraid of drying?
me: i am only afraid of large bodies
Rhed: i thought ginger bread was soft
8:43 PM me: BOX BREAD IS NOT
Rhed: now im gonna ******** you danny
straight up
me: FSTRIAHGT UP
Rhed: guys
me: PRETTY CHRISTMAS LIGHTS D'AWW
YO
Rhed: we should make christmas
like
EVEERYWHERE
me: ******** blUE LIGHT
Rhed: PUT CANDY ON It
i have a bautiful idea
8:44 PM me: SEMEN, SUPERGLUE, IT'S ALL THE SAME
Rhed: marissa cut it out
me: apsh
Rhed: appshhhhhhhhh
me: HOHO
DEATH
sssssssssssssssssssssssss
Rhed: what did he say?
me: i have no idea. XD
I NEED A HAIR ELASTIC
STAT
8:45 PM Rhed: ******** ******** ********/> me: IT IS VITAL TO MY SURVIVAL
Rhed: LEPROSY
me: LEPROSY
Rhed: CHRIS THAT IS NOT ANY FUNNY
me: I HAVE LEPROSY
IS THAT A PROBLEM b***h
Rhed: STILL IS NOT ANY FUnNY
its like your skin melting off
8:46 PM non vertical lines
totally dope
me: NOSEIES
FOR NO REASON
Rhed: to do what?
me: NOONE KNOWS
Rhed: whoever thought of cake was a smart a**
me: HEY
HEY
Rhed: casue this cant be done
me: IMMA STILL EAT DIS s**t
Rhed: our house
is odd
8:47 PM klike
odd
me: JES IN CASE YOUUUUU FOEGAHT
Rhed: GOD
me: ********/> MARISSAAAAAAAA
Rhed: MARISSA YOU SUCK
me: APSH
Rhed: APSHHHHHHHhh
me: I ENGINEERED THE s**t OUT OF THIS
Rhed: I ENGINEERED THE SHI OUT OF THIS HOSE
me: oh god
he reallyu is an engineer
Rhed: I love you josh
8:48 PM she started without it
me: i apologize in advance to anyone who hires him
Rhed: and then she died
but seriously
like
no one knows how to start a car
me: HEART SWELLING
AUGH
Rhed: what?
me: SIGH
8:49 PM MAY I HELP YOU
OR YOUR EYES
Rhed: I CLEANSE ALL I DISPEISE
THE ******** IS THIS
APSHHHHHh
me: APSHHHH
Rhed: APSHHHHHHHHHHH
me: STILL ENGINEERIN THE ******** OUT OF THIS
Rhed: DONT EVEN KNOW
THE CAP CAME Of
IN MID OF LINE
8:50 PM me: it think
they might be
letting it dry
so they can add stuff
Rhed: yep
although
they are almost done
me: THEY NEVER LEFT THE GYM
Rhed: ninjad
me: WAIT WAIT
Rhed: IM IN COLLEGE NOW
me: HE'S NOT IN CALC
8:51 PM Rhed: whew
me: THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING
Rhed: ok
we are safe
no on will hire
me: good
thank god
8:52 PM THIS HOUSE
SO BANGIN'
Rhed: dat house is banging
wanna see it on faccebook
me: HEY GUYS
PAY ATTENTION TO US
8:53 PM WE ARE TALKING TO AND ABOUT YOU
HOHOHO
Rhed: LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY LIGHTS (candy)
me: nonono
secretlywhen he was gonna eat dat s**t
it was lsd
SO BANGIN'
THAT HOUSESO BANGIN'
8:54 PM THAT IT GOT UP
AND ******** EVERYONE
THAT BANGIN
Rhed: I told yo though
so i aint fake
me: frosting
I HAVE SHINT
ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF MY SLEEVE
8:56 PM LOOK MA
BI HANDS
WAiT
8:57 PM I MEAN NO HANDS
Rhed: oh man
pick it up
....
...
8:58 PM me: FICKIN' HOUSE
Rhed: YEA
MY HOUSE WINS
8:59 PM me: HOUSE BROKE
Rhed: s**t
me: DAWSON'S LIFE DEPENDS ON THAT HOUSE
Rhed: we've been had
9:00 PM hmm
me: NO MORE LOCKED DOORS
Rhed: want your gumdrops baby
me: THIS s**t I NASTY
9:01 PM COATED IN SEMEN
9:05 PM Rhed: i want to find kristen
and show her this
9:09 PM me: HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY CLEAN THIS
LOOK AT HOW CUTE THIS IS
Rhed: WE need to hug babies
me: IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO HUG SOME ********' BABUES
9:15 PM Rhed: well that is that
gingerbread chronicals
me: XD
I FEEL LIKE IT"S GLUE
9:16 PM BUT IE'S REALLY FROSTING
well finally XD
9:20 PM And any seconds now
we may or mey not
reach the conclusion of the Gingerbread Fables
9:21 PM Rhed: it appears so
me: if gangster can keep from rapping for more than a minute
Rhed: he did
that's one house down and out
me: ONE DOWN
9:22 PM Rhed: How do people manage t be so clueless
me: nobody knows
WHOO
tWO DOWN
Rhed: oh wait
me: ALMOST
Rhed: wait....
SO close
me: WAIT FOR IT
WAIT FOR ITTTTT
Rhed: any second now
see
gone
me: PFFF
Rhed: oh wait
me: god damn
9:23 PM Rhed: ******** waht
me: don't just pit it down
plug it back in
Rhed: the houses are back
ok
nevermind
here is the clear out
me: # of houses over time
Rhed: WHEW
me: 3-2-3-2-3-1
Epilogue: They never came back for that last house.
So we ate it.
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 12:16 pm
xD I can't believe I just read through all that.....
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problematic briefcase Crew
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 12:26 pm
Rhed: they put the icing on the inside?
7:58 PM me: LIKE A BOSS
Wait, did they really ask if you wanted to help? O: I so would have done that regardless of the wangster/lesser ho ratio.
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 12:50 pm
Shiny Gligar
Rhed: they put the icing on the inside?
7:58 PM me: LIKE A BOSS
Wait, did they really ask if you wanted to help? O: I so would have done that regardless of the wangster/lesser ho ratio.
They asked us if we wanted to help, but it was after they had destroyed at least one house, and we were more interested in seeing how they'd do on their own. xd Also: "josh/jish/jash/jesh/josj" is already the best meme among my friends. xd
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:02 pm
I wanna be a gingerbread house building gangsta
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:23 pm
l-Kathulu-l I wanna be a gingerbread house building gangsta not if it apparently makes you stupid
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:29 pm
Wantcookie l-Kathulu-l I wanna be a gingerbread house building gangsta not if it apparently makes you stupid That and the only reason I can think of someones like that building that is to hide drugs in it.
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:34 pm
l-Kathulu-l Wantcookie l-Kathulu-l I wanna be a gingerbread house building gangsta not if it apparently makes you stupid That and the only reason I can think of someones like that building that is to hide drugs in it. so that's why the gumdrops were shaped like needles
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:19 pm
Oh. My. God.
That was freakin' hilarious. xD
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:28 pm
Quote: me: WE BURNT THE GINGEBREAD THAT CAME IN A BOX ALREADY BAKED
That made me rofl for some reason.
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 10:59 pm
This conversation makes me want to go hug some ********' babues.
*also has some lulzy copypasta about young gangsta's dating back to high school*
Ok. It's a nice day. I'm outside reading about the pros and cons of censorship in my scholarly pursuit for a mark that's at least passable on my huge five-page essay I'm never going to be able to complete. I reach for my key lime soda, and spill it all over the ground with the sudden -thump- of a football and an immense pain in my left breast. I tore myself away from my Hedwig-serenaded paradise of censorship debates and looked up at my assailants.
Them. A swarm of them. The most feared species on the face of planet. Teenage boys, of the "thug" persuasion. They looked at me, their pants hanging at their knees, the strips of leather around their waist loosely fastened as though they were prepared to use them as weapons, their decorative clothing proudly proclaiming their numbers [which I presume to be an identity of sorts], their baseball caps shielding their hungry eyes from the harsh lighting of their environment. They had taken me completely by surprise, and I was outnumbered.
Knowing that my predators were of a very hostile nature, I picked up the ball slowly in the awkward silence that followed my apparently unintentional harm, and set out to return it at a calm, steady pace. I held it at arm's length, trying to communicate with my body language that I was not going to use this weapon in retaliation, that I came in peace, simply to return it. I picked out the leader by the large glittering trinkets on his ears, stopped before him and held out the ball as an offer. He took it, and then examined me carefully. He turned away after a minute, hesitated as though he was making a decision, and turned back around to face me. He opened his mouth. "So, are you, like, a goth?" As the rest of the tribe laughed in an eerie, thoughtless unison, I stared at him. Could we speak the same language? Perhaps these creatures were not so savage as I thought. I decided it would not be in my best interest to disagree with them. I smiled, hoping that I hadn't really answered his inquiry wrongly.
This was quite obviously the wrong move, as he was soon flanked by two strong-looking boys. Their numbers proclaimed "46" and "78" respectively. The eyes of 46 found the headphones around my neck. "Were you listening to Marilyn Manson, goth?" The laughter filled the air again. Thinking it would be best not to chance my life on their intelligence, I didn't insult them, simply smiled and nodded. 78's eyes found my backpack, and the buttons and patches on my backpack. I squirmed internally under this scrutiny, knowing I had been identified as an enemy of the tribe. I turned and walked quickly back to the tree, trying to undo the damage I'd done. I picked up my book, and put my headphones back over my ears, but did not turn them on. The leader seemed to be calling a tournament of sorts.
A ball hit me in the head. 78 laughed loudly and ran out to pick it up, muttering apologies to me with a grin on his face. He must not have understood what he was saying, for soon it hit me again, in the stomach this time, and again it was retrieved. They appeared to have some sort of scoring system, and they all took turns throwing balls. I knew if I left they would just follow me, so I stayed in my prison of battery and humiliation until the bell rang. Taking this as a symbol, the winner was decided. 78, with a total of 78 points. He looked down excitedly at his shirt, proclaiming "78!" as though this was the one thing that had given his life meaning. The leader looked at him, laughed, and said "Nice goin', Chris." As they left, 78, or "Chris" as he is newly called, tore off his numbered shirt and threw it to a girl standing not far off, who cheered.
As their congregation dwindled, I lamented on what I had just witnessed. Through the proof of his superiority in not only hitting targets but making intellectual connections far beyond the expectations of the tribe's mental capacity, he had been presented with a title. The gift of identity, a namesake much easier to pronounce than the number which had been once his only form of identification. And he had used this identity to choose his mate. In conclusion, the opportunity to witness the blessing awarded to only the most elite warriors of this race of teenage boys is by far reward enough for the temporary swelling that will make my chest significantly lopsided.
My only wish is that they'd hit the other side as well.
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:00 pm
Cabron the Swan This conversation makes me want to go hug some ********' babues.
Babues?
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:03 pm
Skaeryll Cabron the Swan This conversation makes me want to go hug some ********' babues.
Babues?9:09. xd
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:05 pm
Cabron the Swan Skaeryll Cabron the Swan This conversation makes me want to go hug some ********' babues.
Babues?9:09. xd
I don't follow...
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:14 pm
Skaeryll Cabron the Swan Skaeryll Cabron the Swan This conversation makes me want to go hug some ********' babues.
Babues?9:09. xd
I don't follow...
It's from their conversation, haha.
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