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High-functioning Sex Symbol
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 Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:25 pm
My Story
November 21, 1994
I was born 7 pounds 14 ounces and 4 years later my parent's got devorced.
Life was interesting, My brother was troubled.
Freshman year my brother got into drugs and expelled.
I didn't understand, he was 15 and I was 10.
My mom got remarried to Jim a while after this.
He seem like a really nice guy and he had 2 sons.
Jeff was 11 and Josh was 12.
After about a year Josh started coming into my room and watching me.
I was afraid to go to sleep when he came over ever other weekend.
I knew it wasn't normal.
About 2 months later I was sexually abused by Josh.
It could have been worse but I fought him and he got scared.
The next morning I told my mom.
Their marriage went down hill from there.
And Jim showed that he wasn't a very nice guy after all.
Fast forward to 7th grade
Mom was seperated from Jim
We were living off unemployment and living at my grandpa's house.
My depression had been present since 4th grade and Josh happend and was getting worst.
I had one friend Kasey and she was into dark music and stuff.
Thats when I started cutting it got worse and my mom had no idea.
We got our own apartment and my mom got a steady job again.
I started dating guys, The cutting was still bad.
The only ones who knew were my friends annie and kasey.
They both cut too.
It felt like it was only way to express my hearts emptiness.
But It all came crashing down when my mom found my dairy with my razors and bloody pages in it.
I was admitted into a mental hospital.
I felt betraded but I relized there were girls like me and I turned my life around.
Oh and also by then my mom met this awesome guy Rodney and She had given herself to Christ.
But I was still a scepitc and was still a rebel heart.
I started going to church after my relise from the hospital.
I haven't cut since.
But going to church wasn't were I gave myself to Chirst.
I went with the youth group to Aquire The Fire. I thought it would be a fun concert thing.
On the floor of that stadium I finally heard the Lord speak to my heart the thing I was longing for so long, His Love.
Since then I've been trying to become closer to the Lord everyday.
No one is perfect, expecally not followers of Chirst.
We all have our horrible experences that has finally led us to the truth.
I think thats what makes God so much more then Religion
He was our rescuer, our life line.
Thank God for being the light
Cause I wouldn't be alive with out it.
God Bless you,
Nicole
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Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:55 am
I'm so sorry Nikki. I'll keep you in my prayers. I'm glad that your found your way to Christ and it'll only get better now that you have. biggrin
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Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:20 pm
Oh wow that's sad! I'll pray for you and by the way your right about us having horrible experiences that lead to the Lord, I'm one of them only I don't think mine was that bad but it did hurt alot and I Thank God that he opened my eyes and lead me to salvation!
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Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 9:29 pm
Wow Nikki I feel so sorry for you. Of what happened to you when you were little and when you were in the hospital. I'm not bragging or anything but my parents would never be divorced so I wouldn't know what that would feel like. I'm just glad that you have recovered and, what it seems to me, that you are having a good life. God bless everyone!
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 11:28 am
You're story is so...wonderful. Not that you went through all that trouble and hardship, it's wonderful because you were able to escape. There are probably thousands of girls in the world who have faced life in the same way as you, but most of them probably just fell deeper beyond help. Praise God for His grace and that his light was able to reach you in that darkness. I will pray that His light will always stay in your heart.
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