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 Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:52 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:24 pm
How about a joke?
A man and woman down in Missouri are talking. They are die hard Cubs fans despite where they're living and they agree that when they retire, they are going to go see a Cubs game in Chicago and run the bases at Wrigley Field. Well the time comes and they retire. The man can barely see and the woman can barely hear. They get on Route 66, little old lady is driving.
On the same highway there is a cop who is having the worst day of his life. His wife left him, his dog died, and to top it off the bank is foreclosing on his home. Deciding he needed to vent he pulls a car over. Inside is the little old woman and her husband. "I'd like to see your license and registration," he said.
"Heaaa?" the lady asked as she turns her hearing aid up.
"He said he'd like to see your license and registration," her husband says.
"OHHHH." She gets her license from her little purse and pulls down the visor for the registration. She hands them to the cop.
The cop starts making out the ticket and glances briefly at the license. "I see your from Missouri," he commented casually.
"Heaaa?"
"He says we're from Missouri," the man said again.
"Ohhh," she says and nods.
The cop glares at the license and then at the ticket, thinking of his wife. "Yeah. I met the biggest b***h in Missouri."
"Heaa?" she asked again.
The little old man leans over and said, "The man said he thinks he knows you!"
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Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:48 pm
This pickled vegetable...... could kick your a** !!
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Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 11:44 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 7:59 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:10 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:38 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 7:00 pm
WALMART INTERVIEW
Jennifer a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning. 'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.
'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.
'Hmmm.....let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.' 'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed.'
She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply..
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'. Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man.
'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.
Turning to Ole, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
Ole replied, 'After hearing da udder three answers, it's obvious to me dat the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.' 'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response...'Yah shure', said Ole . 'You see, da other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for da bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON DA LIGHT, I had already pooped my pants.'
Ole is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.
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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 7:25 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:35 am
Damn page stetchies.
I like how that google search has 3 pregnant questions.
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:52 am
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:08 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:56 pm
Pokemon lovers, take a look: http://celebi.wetpaint.com/page/Fake+Pokemon
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 11:19 pm
xxEternallyBluexx Pokemon lovers, take a look: http://celebi.wetpaint.com/page/Fake+Pokemon Quilgon-Jinn! I want one!
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:52 am
xxEternallyBluexx Pokemon lovers, take a look: http://celebi.wetpaint.com/page/Fake+Pokemon this made me laugh and cry... WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS!?
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