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 Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:45 pm
Just a day job that's someone's gotta do
It's kinda hard when everyone looks up to you
Try to make it look easy, gonna make it look good
Like anybody would Name: Shane McCoy
Nicknames: Bro. He tends to tends to answer to Bro, Dude, Man, you name it.
Gender: Male
Age: 17
School/Job: Cashier/Resident Hero of your local Quickie Mart - Shane dropped out of high school and is currently employed at a convenience store in one of the sketchier districts of Destiny City. It tends to inspire a lot of shop lifting in the youth, which Shane proudly thwarts by way of his trusty broom, “Kingslayer”.
Fav. Food: Fish tacos. Nothing says the beach like a good fish taco. (The ones at the local fast food chain will do, though, in lieu of a good fish taco.)
Hated Food: He’s pretty sick of everything in the entire Quickie Mart, to be honest. He is going to throw up if he ever eats another one of those hotdogs.
Hobbies: Surfing -- While Destiny City is certainly no Golden Coast, it is only a few hours from the beach, Shane learned to surf on a family vacation years ago in California. He’s only been back to California once since then, but he’s absolutely determined that this lifestyle is the lifestyle for him. In the meantime, he tries to get out to the Atlantic whenever he has time (which really isn't as frequently as you might think). He has a surfboard, which he takes care of better than himself, really, and he’s even invested in a bright yellow Jeep to improve his surfer image. Shane loves his surfer image just as much as he loves the actual sport. It’s cool, it’s laidback and it doesn’t require much thought at all! What’s not to love?
Comic book super heroes -- Every boy grows up with super heroes, but Shane never grew out of them. His room is littered with various collections, his bed sheets have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them and check his youTube quick search and you will find the Mighty Ducks, Batman and a variety of other old school cartoons. Evenings at home are often spent watching reruns on the TV or reading the old comic books he keeps 'stored' under his bed. He has to learn his moves somewhere, you know.
Defender of the candy rack -- And once he learns those sweet moves, Shane must put them into action! The only reason he still works at Quickie Mart is the self-perceived idea that he is, in fact, the store's own personal hero. It started as an accident when he called the police on an “armed robber” (he had a squirt gun), but the attention he received was positively contagious. Since then, Shane has taken to chasing handsy children out of his store like a grumpy old man herding the whippersnappers off his lawn. If they so much as think about pocketing candy without paying, Shane is on them like white on rice, slapping grubby fingers away with the handle of his broom. He even named the broom “Kingslayer”, and he has his own catch phrase. (In case you were wondering, it’s: “Put it back,” said very, very menacingly.) Shane figures being a hero makes him pretty damn cool, and he's quick to jump on people if he thinks they're about to shoplift. He is a regular super hero, thank you very much. It's not easy, but someone has to do it!
Boarding -- If the sport's name has the word 'board' in it, Shane has attempted it, at least once. He has a lot of time to kill: all his friends are still in high school, after all, and he can only work so many hours a day. Since going to the beach is way too expensive to be a daily affair, Shane has taken up skateboard as well. He isn't nearly as graceful on the pavement as he is the ocean and isn't capable of anymore than an ollie. Snowboarding and dirtboarding appear to be even more dangerous for the youth; there's something about hills, gravity and Shane that shouldn't mix. Terrible as he is, he keeps trying if only to not look quite so foolish...even if his last snowboarding trip got him concussed and the last time he tried dirtboarding, he ended up breaking an arm...what? It totally wasn't his fault that rock popped out of the ground and snagged his wheel, alright? It was a freak accident.
Syfy TV -- Be it lame movies or television series with silly action effects, Shane loves his science fiction. He likes plots that are easy for him to follow, and he likes the wild creativity that only comes with a cheap budget. After all, the majority of his childhood superheroes were science fiction of some sort, and Shane still enjoys that genre, from Heroes to Merlin to even oldschool Star Trek: The Original Series. Shane likes a good story and he loves action heroes, and television requires far less thought than, say, picking up a book and reading it. He even loves those terrible apocalypse movies the Syfy channel plays on marathon weekends. Not witty at all, no, but that's just the way Shane loves his entertainment.
Virtues: Charm -- There’s something about the surfer boy style that drives girls crazy, and Shane uses it to his full advantage. When he was still in high school, he was usually that guy causing the traffic jams in the hallway while he made out with a girl pressed against the lockers. Under the impression that no woman is immune to his charm, he often tried to talk his way out of homework, talk that C up to a B, even convince the vice-principal he didn’t really deserve detention this afternoon. As far as Shane is concerned, the only female immune is his mother (as it should be, thank you). His vocabulary is not expansive, so he relies on funny stories and his general demeanor to win people over. It doesn't always work, because Shane's mother is not the only woman immune, but he is an optimistic sort and rarely chalks it up to anything other than a freak occurrence. (It was just a full moon, bro.) It's unknown whether or not this technique works on men, because the notion of charming another bro has never actually crossed Shane's mind. Tolerance is not something Shane grew up with (after all, his mother sent him to the basement and made him pay rent the day after he dropped out of high school), so 'exploring his sexuality' is foreign to him. Seriously though. Hitting on men? You can do that? Does it work?
Relaxed -- Cool as a cucumber, they don’t get much more chill than Shane McCoy. The building’s burning down around him and he’s walking as though he’s heading to fifth period. There’s a shark fin in the water, Jaws’ theme song is blaring in the back round and Shane is padding back to shore with no more urgency than if it was simply time to call it a day. Panic does not exist in the world of Shane McCoy. Going no where quickly, he’s got plenty of time to stop and smell the flowers. As such, it’s very difficult to fluster him. He's always been a believer that everything happens for a reason (and that in the end, it's for the greater good), so he sees no use in crying over spilt milk. There are very few situations that will cause him to shed his cool, though perhaps a death of someone close or something of that magnitude could shake him, Shane will always fall back onto his belief it happened for a reason, and it keeps him from crumbling under stress.
Optimistic -- The eternal optimistic, Shane’s always finding the silver lining. He seems to have an upside to everything, even if it’s completely unrealistic and nothing seems to bring him down from his ‘the world is a good place’ high. If it’s raining, he’ll go out and dance. If he’s stuck in work on a nice day, he’ll sing along to the radio since no one will be coming in. Don’t try to bring him down, man, he does not want your negative energy. Nothing will deter him from his dreams of becoming a professional surfer, no matter how many shark-related death statistics you throw at him.
Enthusiastic -- Get Shane onto a topic he enjoys and good luck getting him to shut up. He can tell you a hundred random, useless facts about surfing. When he likes something, he tends to invest a lot of energy into it. (Relatively speaking, that is, but enthusiasm is what gets Shane through the day.) His superhero collection is pretty legendary (and geeky beyond reason) and he could probably quote various Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle episodes, word for word. If Shane cares, he really cares!
Flaws: Beach bum -- Given a choice, Shane would spend all day surfing and what he didn’t spend surfing, he’d spend basking in the sand. To put it frankly, he is one lazy teenager. Oh, he certainly dreams big, but rarely does anything to put those dreams into play. His enthusiasm tends to extend to knowledge and perhaps collection, but never anything that demands huge physical exertion (why take three flights of stairs when you can just ride an elevator?), and for that matter, any mental exertion. (His surfing is exempt from this lifestyle because while, yes, surfing is difficult, surfing has always been play for Shane and thus, even if technically a workout, has never fallen under the category of 'work' for our surfer bro. It is his one, and perhaps only, exception.) He dropped out of high school to go to California and become a professional surfer, but he forgot to factor in the part where it would cost him some serious cash. Maybe forget isn't the right word; he was just far too lazy to think it out that far. If the first half of the plan works, he's satisfied and doesn't feel the need to think it out any further. That would be work. Shane goes to work to save up money to get to California, but he buys a Jeep instead. He downtown to pick up ladies, but forgets he lives in his mother’s basement. Half-baked at best, his sloth is one of his biggest demons.
Ego -- He advertises his awesome and Shane certainly expects you to notice. Between his cool haircut, stylin’ board shorts and that awesome yellow Jeep he bought (instead of, you know, saving the money to live in California), he’s pretty sure he’s one of the chillest guys in all of Destiny City. He’s easy breezy and confident, and with that, Shane’s always right. That whole “no money” ordeal? Just a hiccup! He never apologizes, because he never finds himself at fault. Why didn’t he go back to school when he realized the pro surfing plan was a bust? Why, his ego was far too big, he couldn’t even fit through the front door! That aside, Shane has started to fancy himself the hero of his workplace. He often chases kids who’d otherwise be shoplifters from the store. One time, he even stopped an armed robbery! (The guy had a squirt gun. Shane leaves this part out.) If that doesn’t deserve an ego, he doesn’t know what does.
Braggert -- Did you hear about that time Shane defended his Quickie Mart from a armed robber? Because he totally did. What about the time he scored with the home coming Queen? Did you know he totally rode a ten foot wave when he visited California? You didn’t! Well, let us tell you all about it! If you don’t notice the sheer awesome radiating off our golden boy, he feels obligated to fill you in (because let us tell you, you are missing out!) Wait, wait. That guy surfed a fifteen foot wave? Well…well, Shane’s wave wasn’t ten feet high! It was twenty!
Giant prat -- She’s too ugly, and ug, her voice is annoying. That one there is a prude, and her friend has glasses. Shane doesn’t date those too far down on the ugly scale, but he is never seen with anyone who can outshine him, either. And did you hear how bad she was in the sack? No? Well, Shane will be happy to tell you all about it. With a habit of propping himself up at others’ expense, those who get to know him well tend to find Shane to be very shallow. He’s only in it for himself. If his boss stopped naming him Employee of the Month for chasing all the shoplifting brats out, he’d never pick up Kingslayer again. What’s worth the effort if no one is going to recognize you for it?
Physical Description
Hair: His hair is a very light, sandy brown, just bordering blond with natural highlights. His hair falls to his shoulders and is very typically 'surfer boy'. Shane is all over his stereotype.
Eyes: His eyes are emerald green.
Face: Shane would define himself as 'rugged'; his face is a little more square than it is round. He's tan, not naturally, but you'll never catch him admitting that. He's only as tan as a boy with fair skin can tan, really. His expression is probably a pretty friendly one, and very relaxed, if not a little smug. He is very self-assured.
Body: Lean and lanky. You might even call Shane a little bit on the skinny side! He certainly doesn't work out, at any rate, so don't expect any abs or bulging biceps. Shane also happens to be a little on the shorter side of the scale, but he pretends he doesn't notice.
Fashion: Board shorts and t-shirts advertising SoCal or surfing are the way to go. He almost always wears shorts and t-shirts, even in the dead of winter. His choice of footwear is always flipflops and he's usually wearing an anklet and choker, both made from hemp and decorated with small shells. He also wears a shark tooth necklace.
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:47 pm
I got a short attention span
Can't sit around couch potato land
I wanna do all kinds of stuff
Talking about it's not enough
I wanna go to the extreme Challenge: For the prince/You’re about to take a fall!
Weapon:
Hobbies:
Door bustin’ -- Aeneas is all about the adrenaline rush, and for whatever reason, he finds kicking in doors to be quite satisfying. You can’t always be charging into battle, after all, but kicking in a door always gives Aeneas a surge of power. He loves the feeling, and while door-kicking started by necessity, he takes any opportunity he can to kick in a door. Wait, it was unlocked? Oh, sorry about that. I suppose you’ll just have to get a new one!
Fishing -- Enthusiastic as he is, Aeneas is no Engergizer bunny. Even he needs down time, now and then, and he finds fishing to be quite relaxing. He’ll always bring someone along, because he loves to chat, but there’s nothing quite like sitting by a pond and discussing whatever comes to mind. It’s a rare opportunity for his intelligence to shine while his body takes a rest. Make no mistake, he’s terrible at fishing. Aeneas has hooked himself countless times and rarely catches any fish larger than the palm of his hand. Still, it’s a good time, and he enjoys bonding with the other cavaliers (even if he ends up back in the water as often as the fish do).
Flirting -- What good is confidence and charm if you don’t get to use it? Believing himself to be a regular Casanova, Aeneas flirts with everyone. And by everyone we do in fact mean everyone, regardless of gender. Flirting rarely leads to anything else, but it’s a great way to break the ice, get something you need or even to irritate someone you find particularly unpleasant. There’s always something to be gained from flirting; Aeneas finds it to be a most rewarding past time.
Swordplay -- Aeneas loves weapons; they're exciting, exhilarating and generally make the 'stab it to death!' game plan go a lot more smoothly. However, his interest doesn't only extend to battle; Aeneas finds himself rather impressive and tends to find tricks he can do. Balance his sword on his nose? Wield two blades? Catch it when someone's tossed it across the room? Oh, Aeneas tries it all, but it never ends well. Ever. 99.9% of his wounds are self-inflicted. No matter how many times he fails, Aeneas is convinced he'll nail the trick eventually. No, he is not going to lose a finger first!
Virtues:
Unpredictable -- You never know what Aeneas is about to do next, and the Cavalier considers it to be his best trait. The map says left, Aeneas is going right. Who knows what’s just around the river bend? If you think Monday means he’s watching the NFL, he’ll flick the TV set to Gossip Girl just to throw you off. Variety is the spice of life, and as random as he may seem, Aeneas swears he has a plan. If he didn’t have a uniform, he’d probably never wear the same outfit more than once (but then wear one a second time just because you never saw that coming, did you?). You’ll never know if something isn’t going his way in battle; a master at rolling with the punches, he can’t be thrown off course if he never had one to begin with. It makes him incredibly hard to throw off guard, because it's very hard to predict his next move. Even Aeneas probably doesn't know where he'll jump next. Try to catch him in a trap and he's three steps ahead. Keeping up with Aeneas can become exhausting, but at least you’ll never be bored, right?
Confident -- A firm believer in the notion that you’ll never get anything done if you don’t have confidence in yourself, Aeneas is full to the brim with self-assurance. Who needs a battle plan when you can just go charging into battle with a wild war cry? From flirting with even the most gorgeous of women to happily volunteering to work alongside Hector in his worst of moods, Aeneas is made of some serious mettle. Swimming with sharks, wrestling with lions, playing a game of chess with Laocoon? Bring it on! He’ll swear up and down there isn’t anything that can outdo Vice Captain Aeneas.
Enthusiastic -- Aeneas loves his job, and more than he loves his role as one of the prince’s cavaliers, he loves a good adrenaline rush. He’s always at Hector’s heels, ready to leap into the battle the moment he’s given the say so. He’s the first to kick in a locked door, screaming like a ten-year-old on Xbox live as he dives headfirst into the thick of battle. Look, there he goes again, bounding off like a starving wolf after a handsome stag. Aeneas is also the first to suggest GROUP BONDING, which he seems to have just as much ardor for as he does battle. Who’s up for a match on Call of Duty? Halo? Anyone, anyone? That’s fine, we can go fishing. Or, yeah, we can totally just sit around. Yeah, Aeneas can totally get pumped for…well, just about anything! BLACK CAVALIERS, HOO-RAH!
Charm -- Did anyone ever tell you how well your shirt matches your eyes? (Yeah, that line didn’t work on the prince, either.) But seriously, are you going to kiss me, or do I need to lie to my diary? Nothing sells lines like confidence and a winning smile. Package it all together, and there you go, you’ve got Aeneas! While his charm is usually applied to those he’s trying to woo, Aeneas also uses it to try and weasel information out of knowledge parties. It’s amazing what you can get with a few compliments, really. And if he wants to be assigned a certain mission? You can bet he goes straight for the prince and tries to sweet talk his way into getting the assignments he wants.
Flaws:
Over enthusiastic -- Charging into battle with a wild war cry is one thing, but bounding ahead of your captain and taking the lead is totally another. Aeneas swears up and down, it was the heat of the moment, honest! But there he goes again, lolloping off before Alexandros can even give directions! He just gets so excited sometimes, all that energy busts out and Aeneas usually ends up making a fool of himself, and often the captain and prince as well. He’s a dog better off on a short leash (except he might hang himself as he goes bolting after the first car that drives by).
Ego -- An ego the size of Aeneas’ makes it very hard to own up to any wrong doings, so instead of doing the adult thing and apologizing for any mistakes and rectifying unpleasant situations, he tends to insist it never happened. Yeah, that time he totally made a pass at the prince? Didn’t happen. He didn’t actually bound ahead of his captain, leading the charge, that’s just a nasty rumor. He never made a bet with Laocoon over who could rack up the most points at Scrabble, either. Did we mention he likes bets? Aeneas likes bets, and more than he likes bets, he likes challenges. If you tell him not to eat an entire cake, it will make him sick, he is going to eat that whole entire cake, because it will not make him sick, goddamnit! He does things simply to prove he can, without rhyme or reason, and it tends to get him into a lot of unfortunate situations. Don’t mention it, though, of you’re going to find yourself at the wrong end of a lot of practical jokes for a little while. What? It was just a whoopee cushion, don’t be such a baby.
Guilt complex -- While his conscience seems to hang him out to dry most of the time, Aeneas takes it very hard whenever his actions finally catch up to him, especially when one of the other Cavaliers gets hurt. It doesn’t have to be a physical hurt; making a mockery out of the faction will knock Aeneas upside the head just as hard as any flesh wound, and when it does, Aeneas will crumble. It’s a very public thing, as is everything Aeneas does, and it effects him emotionally and physically. Wallowing in a pool of self pity, he can’t remember the last time he ate and rarely sleeps for more than a few hours at a time. But do you see Aeneas apologizing? No, no you do not. You see him spread across the couch as he ponders his own misery. It tends to be less than effective.
Over compensation -- Nothing irritates Aeneas more than being dismissed. Hello, you’re talking to the vice captain, here! Aeneas always wants to get his say in, be it strategic planning, an argument with a fellow cavalier or deciding what’s for dinner. Speak over him or correct his illogical thought process and he’ll assume you think he’s stupid. (And he's totally not. You're just jealous of his awesome.) He’s not the smartest, the fastest or the strongest; he’s not the leader or the captain either, so Aeneas often acts like he has something to prove. He remains convinced he's the only one who recognizes his prowess. After all, most people fail to mention it. If anyone ever implies he isn't fit for his position, Aeneas will fly into a frenzy trying to prove you otherwise, because it doesn't matter how confident he is in himself if no one else will recognize the sound of the cavalier's awesome. It's an old chip on his shoulder, but herein is the emotional toehold Hector can grab onto and key Aeneas up before each and every battle; instead of going off like a handgun, Aeneas goes off like a canon.
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:49 pm
 Why Shane?
Because Shane already comes with a weapon!
Eager for attention, Shane will gobble up the idea of being a vice captain in a prince's guard. The idea of brotherhood might be a little foreign to him, but once he gets used to the idea, he will have absolutely no objections to having a group of people forced to put up with him. He’s open and friendly, and while he might be shallow, he’s a good asset in a bad situation. With a charming smile and a cool head, he’s very useful, as long as you keep him on track.
A high school dropout, he has no life plans or other obligations, and is free to do whatever the Parallel Court needs of him. He’s acquiescing, because arguing would require thought, and Aeneas will approve of Shane’s general vainglorious demeanor, even encourage his ego if given the opportunity. Shane will never correct Aeneas, but his laid-way-back demeanor might be able to temper some of Aeneas’ extreme enthusiasm before it gets the two of them killed.
Shane and Aeneas
Nothing makes a good match like half-baked and half-cocked! Aeneas whole-heartedly approves of Shane’s desire to be the hero. Picture Aeneas as the devil sitting on Shane’s shoulder, and there’s the relationship, in a nutshell. They both have big inspirations and a generally free spirit, but Aeneas was encouraged to explore it to the fullest where society expected Shane to conform. If you’re going to jump, Aeneas says to Shane, you had better jump far. If you’re going to drive a car, it had better be a racecar.
Aeneas is a little more intelligent than Shane, but it won’t really matter in the end. Shane doesn’t finish his plans because he can’t be bothered, Aeneas’ plans often get abandoned when something else catches his attention. The cavalier feels it’s his role to be the model black cavalier, and Shane is very comfortable with the idea of all eyes on him. Neither want to be put in a bad light and while Aeneas’ impulsive nature tends to put them there, Shane’s cooler temper and shallow ideals may be able to curb the cavalier’s incredible enthusiasm.
(Aeneas would also like to mention, Kingslayer is the best name he’s ever heard for a broom, and may he please rename his rapier as such?)
Why the Canyon?
What does a surfer have in common with a canyon? Why, the adrenaline rush, of course! It's hard to stand above a canyon and not feel a rush of something, be it fear, excitement, or a mix of both. Shane runs off these sorts of feelings (as does Aeneas, he who bounds headfirst into battle). Shane and Aeneas both live for the next rush, the uncertainty of whether you will save the day, ride the wave or if you're about to bite the dust and go under. Why hike along a canyon when you can base jump, right?
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:50 pm
Aeneas, while bright and housing enough enthusiasm for the eternity of the Parallel Court, is kind of like the child you don’t want to mention. He’s so keen on following the prince’s orders that he tends to try and predict them, complete the task before he’s even asked. Sometimes it works out! And sometimes, Aeneas ends up making an idiot of himself and, more than likely, his prince as well. That being said, the vice captain tries to make himself likeable and as charming as ever. He’s certainly made a pass at the prince at least once (though, depending on how badly it ended when Hector found out, perhaps only once), and he definitely attempts to use his wiles to convince Alexandros to give him the assignments he knows he’ll do best at.
Aeneas and Hector
Aeneas has nothing but respect for Hector. Perhaps it has something to do with the brotherhood, or perhaps it’s Hector’s battle technique, but Aeneas could not be happier to be his vice captain. He wants little more than to please the man, and often responds with far more enthusiasm than really required. He strives to be the picture of Hector’s perfect cavalier and thus he is: very loud and yelly, ready to die for the prince or any of his brothers, and incredibly easy to key up emotionally. You want a half-cocked cavalier, Hector, well, here you go! While it’s true Aeneas has plenty of tactical potential, it’s yet to be unleashed; he’s far too busy being a role model for the other Black Earth Cavaliers. That being said, Aeneas is a generally exhausting person to be around. If his enthusiasm doesn't wear Hector down, then perhaps all the ego brawls Aeneas attempts to start will.
Aeneas and Laocoon
Aeneas is never entirely sure how he feels about Laocoon. On the one hand, he loves all of his brothers, without question, but on the other hand, Laocoon tends to play the Devil’s advocate, and Aeneas tends to have some over compensation issues. He’ll likely take most of Laocoon’s advice as a challenge (even if that advice was originally meant for Hector) and when he loses a bet or challenge to the other cavalier, Laocoon can expect the silent treatment for a few days. (Because when all else fails, refuse to admit you were at fault!) Laocoon can also expect Aeneas to argue with him simply for the sake of it, because that’s what he does. (And beware the cake you were saving, Laocoon, because Aeneas will totally eat that last slice if he thinks you’re eying it.)
*Please note these are all speculations based on journal personality writeups~
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:51 pm
And one more, for good measure! Feel free to post!
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 11:41 am
Gonna crit On Shane. Only Shane. soutou Hobbies: Surfing -- While Destiny City is certainly no Golden Coast, Shane learned to surf on a family vacation years ago. He’s only been back to California once since then, but he’s absolutely determined that this lifestyle is the lifestyle for him. He has a surfboard and he’s even invested in a bright yellow Jeep to improve his surfer image. It’s cool, it’s laidback and it doesn’t require much thought at all! What’s not to love? Does he fall sometimes? What about surfing that he loves so much about? Does he have a name for his board? soutou Comic book super heroes -- Every boy grows up with super heroes, but Shane never grew out of them. His room is littered with various collections, his bed sheets have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them and check his youTube quick search and you will find the Mighty Ducks, Batman and a variety of other old school cartoons. He has to learn his moves somewhere, you know. Does he use these '' moves '' while surfing? soutou Defender of the candy rack -- And once he learns those sweet moves, Shane must put them into action! What started as an accident when he called the police on an “armed robber” (he had a squirt gun), the attention he received was positively contagious. Since then, Shane has taken to chasing handsy children out of his store like a grumpy old man herding the whippersnappers off his lawn. He even named the broom “Kingslayer”, and he has his own catch phrase. (In case you were wondering, it’s: “Put it back,” said very, very menacingly.) looks OK to me. soutou Virtues: Charm -- There’s something about the surfer boy style that drives girls crazy, and Shane uses it to his full advantage. When he was still in high school, he was usually that guy causing the traffic jams in the hallway while he made out with a girl pressed against the lockers. Under the impression that no woman is immune to his charm, he often tried to talk his way out of homework, talk that C up to a B, even convince the vice-principal he didn’t really deserve detention this afternoon. As far as Shane is concerned, the only female immune is his mother (as it should be, thank you). His vocabulary is not expansive, so he relies on funny stories and his general demeanor to win people over. How will he react when a girl turns him down? Will he fall in love with her and just care about her in his love life? soutou Relaxed -- Cool as a cucumber, they don’t get much more chill than Shane McCoy. The building’s burning down around him and he’s walking as though he’s heading to fifth period. There’s a shark fin in the water, Jaws’ theme song is blaring in the back round and Shane is padding back to shore with no more urgency than if it was simply time to call it a day. Panic does not exist in the world of Shane McCoy. Going no where quickly, he’s got plenty of time to stop and smell the flowers. As such, it’s very difficult to fluster him. Well, what if a giant 4 headed youma appeas and starts screaming in his ear? soutou Optimistic -- The eternal optimistic, Shane’s always finding the silver lining. He seems to have an upside to everything, even if it’s completely unrealistic and nothing seems to bring him down from his ‘the world is a good place’ high. If it’s raining, he’ll go out and dance. If he’s stuck in work on a nice day, he’ll sing along to the radio since no one will be coming in. Don’t try to bring him down, man, he does not want your negative energy. Nothing will deter him from his dreams of becoming a professional surfer, no matter how many shark-related death statistics you throw at him. OK. soutou Enthusiastic -- Get Shane onto a topic he enjoys and good luck getting him to shut up. He can tell you a hundred random, useless facts about surfing. When he likes something, he tends to invest a lot of energy into it. His superhero collection is pretty legendary (and geeky beyond reason) and he could probably quote various Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle episodes, word for word. If Shane cares, he really cares! If he does shut up, what will they talk about later? soutou Flaws: Beach bum -- Given a choice, Shane would spend all day surfing and what he didn’t spend surfing, he’d spend basking in the sand. To put it frankly, he is one lazy teenager. Oh, he certainly dreams big, but rarely does anything to put those dreams into play. His enthusiasm tends to extend to knowledge and perhaps collection, but never anything that demands huge physical exertion, and for that mater, any mental exertion. He dropped out of high school to go to California and become a professional surfer, but he forgot to factor in the part where it would cost him some serious cash. Shane goes to work to save up money to get to California, but he buys a Jeep instead. He downtown to pick up ladies, but forgets he lives in his mother’s basement. Half-baked at best, his sloth is one of his biggest demons. OK soutou Ego -- He advertises his awesome and Shane certainly expects you to notice. Between his cool haircut, stylin’ board shorts and that awesome yellow Jeep he bought (instead of, you know, saving the money to live in California), he’s pretty sure he’s one of the chillest guys in all of Destiny City. He’s easy breezy and confident, and with that, Shane’s always right. That whole “no money” ordeal? Just a hiccup! He never apologizes, because he never finds himself at fault. Why didn’t he go back to school when he realized the pro surfing plan was a bust? Why, his ego was far too big, he couldn’t even fit through the front door! That aside, Shane has started to fancy himself the hero of his workplace. He often chases kids who’d otherwise be shoplifters from the store. One time, he even stopped an armed robbery! (The guy had a squirt gun. Shane leaves this part out.) If that doesn’t deserve an ego, he doesn’t know what does. OK soutou Braggert -- Did you hear about that time Shane defended his Quickie Mart from a armed robber? Because he totally did. What about the time he scored with the home coming Queen? Did you know he totally rode a ten foot wave when he visited California? You didn’t! Well, let us tell you all about it! If you don’t notice the sheer awesome radiating off our golden boy, he feels obligated to fill you in (because let us tell you, you are missing out!) Wait, wait. That guy surfed a fifteen foot wave? Well…well, Shane’s wave wasn’t ten feet high! It was twenty! OK soutou Giant prat -- She’s too ugly, and ug, her voice is annoying. That one there is a prude, and her friend has glasses. Shane doesn’t date those too far down on the ugly scale, but he is never seen with anyone who can outshine him, either. And did you hear how bad she was in the sack? No? Well, Shane will be happy to tell you all about it. With a habit of propping himself up at others’ expense, those who get to know him well tend to find Shane to be very shallow. He’s only in it for himself. If his boss stopped naming him Employee of the Month for chasing all the shoplifting brats out, he’d never pick up Kingslayer again. What’s worth the effort if no one is going to recognize you for it? If a girl like shane, but shane doesn't like her back, will he let it down gently, or by text? And Finnaly! Why is Shane good for the Canyon? He looks more like a jungle guy. Just my opinion.
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 12:50 pm
Hey Uri. While I appreciate that you took a look over my quest, I feel like I should point out what Spy wrote in the 'Crit the Person Above You' thread, which is crit the way you'd like to be critiqued.
I feel the need to point this out because, honestly, I'm a little upset. You clearly didn't read my quest, or very thoroughly, in any case, (for example, you asked me why Shane loves surfing, and that is very clearly stated in the last two sentences of the hobby), and you only did half of it, to boot. How would you feel if someone only read half of your quest? I suggest you read some other critiques given, to get a feel for what a critique actually is. 'What if a giant four-headed youma appears and starts screaming in his ear?' and 'If he does shut up, what will they talk about later?' are not critiques, those are silly questions. They aren't going to help me flesh out Shane, because what is the likelihood of any monster beaming out of nowhere and screaming at Shane?
I'm not asking for a re-crit or anything, but if you're going to use the 'Crit the Person Above You' thread again, I think it's only fair that you give an actual critique in exchange for the one you'll be given next time.
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 12:56 pm
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 2:37 pm
Surfer boy for the win! :>
Surfing: Since Destiny City probably isn't that close to a beach, how does Shane continue with his surfing hobby? Does he drive out to a beach every weekend? How good at surfing is he?
Defender of the candy rack: I was a bit confused about what this was at first, but now that I've read his whole profile I get it. xD Perhaps clarify on this hobby?
Charm: Those are pretty dang good persuasive skills. Maybe a bit too good? It's also focused a lot on charming women, can he charm men too? (Durhur)
Beach bum: If he doesn't like to physically exert himself, then what about surfing? Isn't that physically exerting? The later half of the paragraph also gives off a more vibe where he doesn't think things through rather than be lazy. I can totally relate to being a sloth though. :Ub
Overall: I really like Shane. His traits mesh well together and sounds like someone I'd have fun (and not-so-fun) times with. :>
Door bustin': Awesome hobby, right here!
Fishing: I like how this hobby is something that he isn't good at. That's not often seen. c:
Unpredictable: This is coming off more as neutral/negative to me. Stress more on how it's good to have variety and that the element of surprise is useful?
Over compensation: I'm not quite sure what this flaw is supposed to be about. Is it supposed to be about Aeneas wanting recognition? .__.;; Some clarification on this would be great.
I really like your quest. I can clearly see how Aeneas and Shane are similar yet different. It truly is like 2 sides of a coin. c:
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 4:49 am
Thanks for the crit Syu! >w<
As far as DC goes, you know, I've had people tell me it's both close and far from the beach, hehe, so I suppose it's high time I asked staff so I can make it clear in my profile. I will do my best to make defender of the candy rack a little clearer as well.
(Shane totally isn't sure why he'd want to charm men? Does that really work? Do they fall for the beach boy look too? XD!)
As far as beach bum goes, I was trying to explain he was mentally lazy, I suppose. He could finish those though processes if he really wanted to. But that would be effort. And Shane and effort haven't met since the last time Walmart had TMNT DVDs in the sale bin.
I'll try to fix unpredictable up and help it's actual usefulness up a little, and as far as over compensation goes, it's supposed to be, hmm, the opening for people to manipulate Aeneas. He feels inferior because he is smallshort and he isn't fastest/strongest/smartest, but he's still vice captain, right? So he feels threatened and feels like he has to prove himself over and over. Insecurity. :] If you mention something about it, he's sure to try and prove you wrong.
I'm so glad you like him! <33 I'm really glad it worked out to be like two sides of the same coin (god that makes me Merilin~ <3). Since you did me a solid and crit'd this (even though I know I still owe you one, aaaah), you want to link me to two of your quest threads? I'd be happy to crit in return! (Well, if you wanted crit, that was. X3)
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 7:32 pm
Maybe the charm Shane has is not the charm I was referring to with that question. :U /shot
@Beach bum: Ahhhh. I see! That makes sense.
@Over compensation: Oh, that makes a lot more sense now! It's sorta like a double flaw, in that he's insecure and could be manipulated with that insecurity. :>
I feel sorta guilty dumping another crit on you, but I would like crit. 8D;;
Hermes and Aeris Thank you so much Sou. <3
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Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 10:49 am
Added some more hobbies and tried to make all the edits according to Syu's crit, finally.
I haven't forgotten you! I've just been like...dying of sick all week. |D Not beneficial for higher levels of thought. But I will try to get on those this weekend. <3
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Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 3:59 pm
Wow this was a good read. Personally I do not really see anything wrong with Shane, though I did when I first read your write on him, but I see you've tweeked him. I love the hobbies you added, they are fantastic.
My only concern for him that his relaxed virtue seems more like a flaw to me, but that might just be the wording. He seems far to relaxed, like he never, ever lose his head and being a teenager that just seems highly unlikely.
As far as Aeneas goes, he seems way over the top. I read his profile and I am like unreal (in a fasinated way). He is very interesting, but when you combine all his virtues alone he just comes off to be that person who annoys the hell out of everyone. Is that how you intended to portray him? It just seems to be worded rather extremely where he is concerned. Then when you add his flaws, unfornately while he become far more fasinating, he become far more annoying as well.
Guilt complex and Over compensating paired with his virtues make him seem rather bipolar.
I really like his character so much and him and Shane seem well suited to one another, but I really thing Aeneas could use some toning down.
I hope this doesn't sound to harsh, cause I really like you quest, and your flaws and virtues are so great. Aeneas just seems to be a bit to much for me personally.
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:01 pm
Thanks for having a look, Kaori! <3 I really appreciate it. It's so great to know I'm not the only one who enjoys these two.
I tried to reword Shane's relaxed virtue; what I was trying to get across is that he doesn't panic easily, and he won't collapse under stress.
And as far as Aeneas goes, he is actually supposed to come off as annoying as all hell. XD! That is totally part of character, and yes, so is being extreme. Aeneas is supposed to be a huge thorn in the cavaliers' side, but he MEANS WELL and TRIES HARD so they can't really get rid of him.
As far as the guilt complex and over-compensation go, I can see where the guilt might conflict, just a little but I'm struggling to see how over compensation makes him see bipolar? I'm aware he's confident, but he's got this little, tiny seed of doubt and if it's picked at, he'll just...lose it. He feels compelled to expel all doubt from everyone's mind, because he hates being considered not worthy, or some such. It doesn't matter how much he thinks he can do something if no one else believes in him, yanno?
It didn't sound harsh at all. XD We can't like everyone, after all, but I really appreciate you stopping by to crit! <333 It was insightful!
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