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Bleach: Reconstruction

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After the eradication of the corrupted Gotei 13. Royal Squad members united to rebuild Soul Society. 

Tags: Bleach, literate, role play, soul society, fantasy 

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xXZetsubou-KaesuXx

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 3:19 pm


Name:
Mizu Zetsubou
(( Water Despair ))

Age:
15
150

Height:
6'
Weight:
180 lbs
Appearance:
Mizu Zetsubou
Eye color:
Blue
Hair color:
Grey
Ethnicity:
Japanese
Personality:
He is really laid back, and doesn't like getting angry.
Accessories:
N/a

Zanpakuto:
Name:
Ryuusui Hasaki
(( Running Water Edge of a Blade ))

Spirit:
Ryuusui Hasaki
Unreleased:
Unreleased

Shikai Command:
Shiku Hae Touhou Tame Tensoku
(( Spread, fly me to heaven ))

Shikai:
Ryuusui in Shikai form
Shikai ability:
Capable of drawing a set amount of water from the immediate area. Water from human or animals cannot be drawn out. The water in plants, rivers, ground, and air can be sapped out and used as long as this water is in a half-mile radius from the wielder. It is also able to control water obtained from targets.


Bankai Name:
Ooame Gouuka Waga Kataki
(( Rain, flood my foe ))

Bankai:
Ryuusui in bankai form
Bankai ability:
During bankai water manipulation is increases two fold. The distance in which water can be leeched from increases to a one and a half mile radius from the wielder. Fish, reptiles, and amphibians are now prone to having the small amount of water in their bodies sucked out. The water in Mizu's body is also manipulated increasing his speed and reaction time.

Bankai attacks
Mizu ashira: By condensing the water into a manner in which touching the water would seem to be like stone, Mizu can shoot pillars of water towards his opponents by swinging his blade. The only way to break through the pillar is high speed vibrations.

Ekitai Saisei: When severely injured Mizu can draw upon the water in the area and have it fill his wound allowing it to act as a medicine and regenerate tissue and blood. ((Limited to twice per fight.))

Kyukoku Safin: As a last resort type attack Mizu can draw upon the water in a five mile radius to be absorbed into his blade. Then when the blade is swung at the opponent a tidal wave of water bombards them and makes it difficult for the opponent to stay balanced and alert. ((Those with a seat rank or level of 15th seat and below would inevitably drown))


Skills and Abilities:
Hado:
and he sucks at hado, and all of them blow up on him.
Bakudo:
able to use almost any Bakudo. (( I didn't feel like putting all of them up here x.x ))

Biography:

He grew up fighting for what he needed to survive, but he never fought just to fight. He was raised on the streets, by local gangs that used his abilities, and then got rid of him. He had no family, no one to look up to. He made himself a place in one of the weakest gangs by killing 10 of the rival gang's members, with his bare hands. He then brought his gang to the top of the chain, even above the law, and when he reached 15 his apprentice killed him accidentally in a sparring match.

Since then he had been living in the soul society, until he was called to the soul king's royal guard, then he was sent back after the desolation of the others. He held a part in taking the lieutenants down, seeing as he could only use Bakudo.


//(Crew use only!)
Offense:
Strength:
Reiatsu: (Pressure)
Hakuda:
Zanjutsu:

Defense:
Reiatsu: (Shielding)
Reiatsu: Control
Reflexes: (Dodging)

Agility:
Shunpo:
Reflexes: (Reacting)

Kido:
Hado:
Bakudo:
Chiyudo: (Squad 4 only!)

Intelligence:
Science:
History:
Tactics:
Healing:

Stamina:
Running Endurance:
Fighting Endurance:
Recovery time:
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 4:50 pm


Okay where to start...

The name of your character and name of your topic don't match.

Names: Why is both your character and zanpakuto have the same first name? And why the name of an element?

Unigu is not a word in Japanese. Wing is Tsubasa.

These are water wings so you are kinda giving me and maybe others the image that your zanpakuto helps someone to float in water....


Unreleased: That is just the blade. Where is the hilt and guard and saya at? You can't fight with a bare blade. (Believe me I have tried it and it hurts)

Your release command isn't proper Japanese either.

Shikai ability: That is very basic give some details and ability names. And creating and controling all water is if you study it a bit Godmodding. The human body is comprised of 70% water. That means you can suck the water out of the body killing them instantly.

Bankai ability is almost the same as the shikai one. And Godmodding. The Bankai name is more of a command than a noun.

Elaborate and give more detail on both the Shikai and bankai.

If one can't use hado at all than they can't use bakudo at all.

Bio: If you were in a gang and beat the law there would have been no way you would be allowed in the Royal Guard.

Judging your descriptions and elaboration there is no possibilty of being in the Royal Guard.

Your RP sample was very well written and literate. But your explanation and stuff in here isn't matching your RP sample.

End result: Work on your naming skills, give more info and detail, give abilities, revise your abilities, better bio.

If you would like some help just PM me.

l2yuta
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Eveegguy

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 4:58 pm


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So bored. Go bring me someone interesting~______________________________ » » » » †








              Ryuta, you okay? You seem kinda...on edge today.







† « « « «______________________________Because it's late at night...remember that if you underestimate me, you'll be in severe pain.
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 5:11 pm


And your picture for your character is a canon character.

l2yuta
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xXZetsubou-KaesuXx

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 6:49 pm


l2yuta
The name of your character and name of your topic don't match.

I fixed that as soon as I remembered Zetsubou means despair, and when you brought it up ;p

l2yuta
Names: Why is both your character and zanpakuto have the same first name? And why the name of an element?

Most japanese names mean something, why can't mine?

l2yuta
Unigu is not a word in Japanese. Wing is Tsubasa.

I got it from EUdict, and it hasn't steered me wrong yet.

l2yuta
These are water wings so you are kinda giving me and maybe others the image that your zanpakuto helps someone to float in water....

Well... I guess you could use it for that... I wouldn't... I think you over thought it... either that or you're british... or old, those are the only two things that could make your mind automaticaly go to floaties... ;p sorry if I offend anyone with that ;p

l2yuta
Unreleased: That is just the blade. Where is the hilt and guard and saya at? You can't fight with a bare blade. (Believe me I have tried it and it hurts)

that's how I spar with my friends, if you put some chains over your hands, it doesn't hurt. kinda like getting hit with a bouken.

l2yuta
Your release command isn't proper Japanese either.

I know, i'm just taking the raw translation of the english words, I'm new to japanese, i can speak it haltingly, but I haven't learned how to make sentences, I know I have them backwards.

l2yuta
Shikai ability: That is very basic give some details and ability names. And creating and controling all water is if you study it a bit Godmodding. The human body is comprised of 70% water. That means you can suck the water out of the body killing them instantly.

I thought it seemed pretty straight forward that I couldn't do that... I'll change it ;p

l2yuta
Bankai ability is almost the same as the shikai one. And Godmodding. The Bankai name is more of a command than a noun.

it is a command, like a incantation, like how you would say Hado number... it is Rain.

l2yuta
Elaborate and give more detail on both the Shikai and bankai.

I really didn't think I had to write that much, just what it did in a nut shell...

l2yuta
If one can't use hado at all than they can't use bakudo at all.

Yeah, it just means that they aren't good at Hado... who made that rule?

l2yuta
Bio: If you were in a gang and beat the law there would have been no way you would be allowed in the Royal Guard.

ummm... that was while he was alive, not in soul form.

l2yuta
Judging your descriptions and elaboration there is no possibilty of being in the Royal Guard.

but doesn't the plot say that everyone in the soul society was killed, and the royal guard sent some of it's members to inhabit it, and keep it running... so I'm just supposed to be a person that escaped being killed by more elite beings than Aizen, and I'm supposed to evade them for dear life? I thought Shinigami ways were to stand and fight...

l2yuta
Your RP sample was very well written and literate. But your explanation and stuff in here isn't matching your RP sample.

Because this is just a nutshell, it isn't written for me to be able to put what all I can to elaborate what my weapon can do, and it's limitations.

l2yuta
End result: Work on your naming skills, give more info and detail, give abilities, revise your abilities, better bio.

So I need to tell a couple hundred japanese people to change their names, give more info when the skeleton isn't written to hold more info, give abilities where there is only wo places for the abilities to go, Revise the abilities, and provide more details on how he made it into the royal guard before he could be killed off... Is that correct?
l2yuta
If you would like some help just PM me.
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 6:54 pm


I've changed my character pic.

xXZetsubou-KaesuXx


Eveegguy

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:02 pm


xXZetsubou-KaesuXx

Well... I guess you could use it for that... I wouldn't... I think you over thought it... either that or you're british... or old, those are the only two things that could make your mind automaticaly go to floaties... ;p sorry if I offend anyone with that ;p
User Image
So bored. Go bring me someone interesting~______________________________ » » » » †








              ................







† « « « «______________________________Because it's late at night...remember that if you underestimate me, you'll be in severe pain.
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:04 pm


Well, that was...a mistake, to say the least. Good day.

Echo of Memnoch
Vice Captain


xXZetsubou-KaesuXx

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:10 pm


and how is that a mistake?
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:11 pm


Eh screw it, accepted biggrin

l2yuta
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xXZetsubou-KaesuXx

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:14 pm


really? I thought I came off as kinda assholey... I woulda been pissed at someone if they talked like that to me... I would have went Irish Rage on them... and thank you.
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:17 pm


Report to the Squad One Training Grounds for some training. Memnoch and Remilia are a bit busy at the moment and requested that I do the training instead.

l2yuta
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Eveegguy

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:50 pm


xXZetsubou-KaesuXx
really? I thought I came off as kinda assholey... I woulda been pissed at someone if they talked like that to me... I would have went Irish Rage on them... and thank you.
User Image
So bored. Go bring me someone interesting~______________________________ » » » » †








              You've been spared from a British thrashing by request of Ryuta, just so you know.







† « « « «______________________________Because it's late at night...remember that if you underestimate me, you'll be in severe pain.
PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 3:24 pm


oh... most of you guys are british... oops... sorry to have offended you guys, I was just kinda angry, my other guild was slow, and i was looking for some roleplaying to take my mind off of things, I just kinda snapped. ;p
(( I edited my profile a bit, to allow for what you said. ))

xXZetsubou-KaesuXx

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