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[Q] Sailor Kyte, Senshi of Confections [CRITPLZ!]

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xXSakura_ForeverXx

PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:39 pm


Other quests:
Nicholas Pomonov (Human)

Navigation
1. You are here 8D
2. Who She Is
3. The Look
4. Family
5. The Senshi
6. The Asteroid and Sphere
7. Extra
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:44 pm


Who She Is


Name: Rila Enviardi

Nicknames: That One Girl, Crybaby, and Freckle-Face. Usually she just prefers Rila.

Age: 16

Birthday: July 2

Sign: Cancer

Blood Type: O

Fav. Food: Pastries, cakes, candies, sweets, and the like. Homemade treats, anyone?

Hated Food: Vegetables.

School: Meadowview

Hobbies:
Baking!: Rila’s mother had a knack for baking and it seemed to have passed on to her daughter. Rila was always very interested in making projects and things with her mother, especially at a young age. She often helped her mother create food in the kitchen and was thrilled whenever she “made something aaaaaall by herself” even if her mother assisted her. She bakes regularly and is likely to offer you sweets and sugary snacks on a daily basis. If you don’t take one, Rila will be sad.

GO TEAM!: Cheerleading, you say? Rila’s on it! She loves cheerleading almost as much as she does baking. It’s incredibly fun and peppy and happy and—well, you get the point. There’s nothing about the sport she doesn’t like. She mostly practices at cheer practice, but twice a week she will make time for it after homework.

Making Schedules: Rila is organized, surprisingly. She actually relies on such structure in her life, or she’d end up overloading her own system. At a young age, Rila’s mother taught her how to manage herself and her time. She does so with daily schedules that she wakes up at the crack of dawn to construct. Lists also fall under the “making schedules” category. She likes them lots, too.

Gemstone: Ruby

Virtues:
Friendly: Overly-nice, Rila is the kind of girl who tours around the new kids out of her own free will. The type to go and sit with someone who is eating alone at lunch. Why? Because she feels she should, can, and wants to. Everyone likes having friends! Besides, no one enjoys feeling disliked, no matter what they say! It’s not uncommon for her to flit from group to group, or for her to almost be late to class because she said “Hello” to too many people.

Chatty: “So! Wanna know what I did today?” Rila’s very talkative. She always was, even as a young girl. It’s a great aid in making friends! She can chat up the most unlikely people for some good time, even if she’s simply talking to herself, should they not respond. Unless they leave. Rila doesn’t think much of that. They probably had to go do something important, right? People seem to find her nonstop talking as an easy way to get involved in a conversation or simply to make a friend!

Independent: Rila loves people, of course, but she doesn’t rely on them for help. She can hold her own and stick up for herself, to a point. She isn’t going to verbalize her defeat because she’s determined to find her own way to do get around the problem and succeed. Rila doesn’t always come out right or on top, but she’ll only whine for a few minutes, as she’d probably forget about it by then. She strives to do things on her own and her own way, if only to be able to say SHE did it. See her “Independent” Flaw for the downside to this trait.

Generous: Rila is willing to help others and give her things up for others' benefit. She thinks it's kind to give and share, just as much as people like receiving things from people. She's naturally one to offer up something to someone who looks to be in need.

Flaws:
Breakdown, Ahoy!: Rila, underneath all her layers of perkiness, is sensitive and self-conscious.
It’s bad when she’s insulted, even as a joke, but it’s worse when someone doesn’t take one of her “gifts” when she offers them. It makes her feel as though she has failed, and she will sulk around until someone can find a way to cheer her up. That, or she will cry for a good three hours or so. Occasionally, when she is about finished crying, she ends up thinking about the event that brought her to tears, and begins crying once more. Rila really doesn’t like this about herself, but at least she’s not a loud crier. She tends to go quiet (it’s mind-blowing!) and suck in sharp breaths at most as she sobs.

Face Value: Rila often doesn’t delve deeper into the meaning of what someone does or says. She’ll take what you said honestly and sincerely. Therefore, she takes what you give her at face value. She’s unable to tell the difference between the truth and a lie. Hurtful jokes don’t bode well with her. Neither do double-entendres nor sexual innuendos, but that is for her lack of understanding them. Such things can easily lower her self-esteem, or result in her simply shutting down. {Weakness}

Independent: As her sense of independence acts as a Virtue, it is just as potent as a flaw. She’s so focused on learning things HER way, doing things HER way, and saying things HER way that she can get frustrated and whiney with people who try to help her do something by asserting their own method of going about it. Really, she only ends up complaining and huffing on about how she doesn’t need your help. This could be compared to a “having to get her way” trait. And when she's put so much of her personal effort and work into doing something, she's vulnerable to breakdowns when people don't accept one of her gifts. Because this leads to a breakdown, it is stemming from her independence of doing things on her own. If people are thinking she fails at doing things, then she's no good at being independent, now is she?

Whiny: Rila’s a bit of a child when things don’t go her way. Note, “don’t go her way” is different than “being insulted” or “being shut down.” She’ll fuss and whine if something didn’t end up the way she wanted it to be. “No,” is Rila’s least favorite word in the English language. When it comes to her, there should be no refusal. If given into, she’s smiles and giggles once again, ready to have a conversation about what she did yesterday. However, should the person who stopped her from doing what she wanted to, or restricted her from achieving something, be persistent in their refusal, she’ll give up after a few minutes of solid denials aimed at her. Her “giving in” consists of her pouting or something equally childish, and her exit in a dramatic format. Her loud stomps will ENSURE that you are aware she left. Wallow in your guilt, sir. WALLOW IN IT.

xXSakura_ForeverXx


xXSakura_ForeverXx

PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:46 pm


The Look


Physical Description:

Hair: Rila is a natural red-head. Not the red-red kind. The orangier-red kind. Like, firey red though perhaps a bit duller. It is pulled into two side ponytails on the side of her head, held in place with two white ponytail holders, one on each side. The ponytails are medium-high and are directly on the side, not on the side but closer to the back of her head. Her hair is thick, even though she cuts it to be thinner. It is also straight but has some waves and curls to it. It’s naturally bouncy and fluffy, and she has bangs cut straight across. Granted, the bangs curl a bit, making them poof out some, since they curl under. The ponytails end slightly past her shoulders.

Eyes: Bright, beautiful, crystallized light blue. Roundish, young, and innocent.

Face: First off, Rila is PALE. Pale as in mayor of pale-town pale. However, she’s not albino. She just isn’t able to tan, which baffles her. Her face is round, bordering on oval. She has light freckles all over her face, but not the kind of freckling where they’re super dominant. Sort of like this… See how they blend a bit? That’s what her freckles look like. She has a small button nose and a prominent jaw and jaw line. Slender eyebrows. Her ears are small and speckled with freckles as well. Rila’s ears are not pierced.

Body: Rila is a petite girl, a little thing. She’s roughly 5’0 and has a small frame. This doesn’t hold her back, as evident in her personality. She’s skinny, but not frail, per say. She has a small chest and a small behind. She has freckles, all over, with the same kind of coloring/patterning as the ones on her face.

Fashion: When she’s not wearing her school uniform, Rila is wearing anything cute. She owns several skirts and dresses, as well as frilly tops. If it’s fun and spinny, she’ll wear it.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:47 pm


Family


Angela [Criop] Enviardi: Rila’s mother and a dedicated baker. She’s a little peppy and eccentric herself, so dealing with Rila wasn’t much of a stretch. Alive, well, and a big part in Rila’s life. 35.

Nerin Enviardi: Rila’s father and a serious architect. He was very supportive of his wife’s decisions, though Rila was unexpected for both. Angela took a sweeter and gentler path about the whole pregnancy, especially with her freshly out of high school. Nerin, on the other hand, was angry at himself and was distant and cold for a few years after Rila’s birth. Eventually, he came around to be supportive of his daughter, too. Alive, well, and trying to be the loving father he hadn’t been at first. 39.

Siblings?: Possibly in the future, but Rila’s parents aren’t in a hurry.

xXSakura_ForeverXx


xXSakura_ForeverXx

PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:57 pm


Senshi: Sailor Kyte, Senshi of Confections

Challenge: Your defeat will be my sweet victory!

Fuku Colour:
Main Color: Dark Brown
Secondary Color: Light pink (with some light brown thrown in, but can be nixed by the artist if need be)

Fuku:

Collar -- Plain, chocolate brown Sailor collar. There is one white stripe along the front. However, her collar DOES NOT connect above the neck line of her top. It comes to points/ends along her V necked top. The thinnest point should be connected to the other thin part of the collar, right at the dip of her shirt.
Bow -- Her chest bow is a light, sparkly pink. It is your average, girly bow. It’s not huge, but fits nicely in the crease where her shirt’s neck line meets. She has a butt-bow of the same standards/characteristics as her chest bow but it is dark brown. It’s larger than the chest bow though.
Bodice -- The bodice she wears is form-fitting. The part around her chest is connected to spaghetti straps that rest on her shoulders. Two of them on each side. They’re separated a bit for support, though they connect at the same point. They may or may not show, depending on how the collar is done. The cut of the dress is a V-neck with detailed white frills/lace lining the inside of the V. Little wires run vertically in the top of the dress. The wires are inside the corset-like top, so little bumps form the wire show on the outside. There is also a dark brown wire under her bust-line that they connect to. The wi-re-bumps (besides the one under her bust) are all light pink. At the bottom of her top is a light brown sash that wraps around the end of the top and the beginning of her skirt. It is around her waist and tapers to tie into a small bow on her left side. The sash is just large enough to cover the end of her top and beginning of her skirt, but no more.
Sleeves -- No sleeves, just the spaghetti straps mentioned above, which may or may not show due to the collar.
Brooch -- Her brooch is dark brown with sparkly, different colors swirled in circles inside it. It’s shaped like a circle.
Bottoms -- Kyte wears a white skirt. The skirt stops mid-thigh and has a trim of chocolate brown in curvy patterning/cut on the bottom. The skirt is your average skirt, though it isn’t skin-tight. It’s flowy and free. It’s two-layered. The top layer is white and the under layer is light brown. It can be seen through small holes of the top layer (like lacey cutouts in the skirt) that are up to the artist. The light brown is lacey at the bottom, and is longer than the top, white layer, so that the lace shows at the bottom.
Tiara -- A standard sailor tiara in a pretty gold. There is a single light, sparkly pink jewel in the center. May be covered by here bangs, but it may be seen underneath here and there.
Choker -- A gold chain necklace hanging around her neck. Hanging on the chain, in the middle, is a pink heart charm.
Shoes -- She wears high-heeled, sexy cowgirl boots. Her shoes are dark brown with light pink designs of the artist’s choice and they stop a bit above her mid-calf. She has white stockings under those that reach past her knee. They are topped off with light pink lace and one small, light pink ribbon on each side of her stockings, tied around the top of the white part of the stocking.
Gloves -- White, long gloves (above elbows) with a dark brown lace showing from the top of each.
Accessories -- No earrings. On her right wrist, she wears a plain, gold, chain bracelet.

Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Sweet Indulgence!
Sailor Kyte sends a wave of energy at her opponent. If the energy hits correctly, the opponent is surrounded in a sweet, alluring aura that tempts the opponent to visualize and focus on an idea/object/subject/person they long for. Kyte must be within 5 feet of her opponent to cast the energy, but once the energy consumes the opponent (evident by a faint glow, identifiable by Kyte) she may move any length away without the aura failing. When the attack is effective, the opponent succumbs to their desire in sweet bliss. It lasts for 10 to thirty seconds. The foe isn’t able to move much unless they are moving in relation to something occurring in their state of longing. i.e. hugging someone/thing, skipping towards something/one (sappy movie running scene, whut?), etc. (Please know this does not mean they can manipulate the attack to attack her through their phase!actions. No sane person loves, finds pleasure in, or dreams about smiting someone, specifically Kyte. That’s just crazy-people things. Be realistic, kthx.) If the opponent is able to break the phase of indulgence (which is purely a mental urge they conjured up through her energy wave being fulfilled) before a minute has passed, the aura is broken. The wave of energy must hit the foe’s stomach to work, as it then spreads throughout the entire body, encasing it in an aura of energy. Kyte may use this attack twice successfully. Any misses do not count towards her limit in use, though those instances are few. This attack allows Sailor Kyte to escape if need be, or get to safe ground. Should she be on a team at some point, it may free her partner(s) to attack the opponent while they are vulnerable.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Sweet Indulgence, Rise!
Keeps to the same standards of hits and misses as “Sweet Indulgence!” However, the minimum hold the energy can keep the opponent is now 20 seconds. After 30 seconds, the connection still breaks. Now, Kyte may also use the attack three times successfully. Misses still do not count towards that amount. To add, her range is extended by 5 feet; making 10 feet the maximum she can be from her opponent to cast her energy wave.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Sugar Crystal Barrier!
Sailor Kyte collects energy in her palms and circles the hands around her head and body. She then releases the mass of energy, creating a barrier similar to crystallized sugar. The consistency is similar to that of a lollipop roughly a centimeter thick. The barrier encases her completely, head to toe, front to back, with six inches of extra space around her (inside the barrier). It lasts until the opponent breaks it apart. The damage done to the crystallized sugar shield depends on the force of the strike and the object used to strike the barrier. Enough damage done, and part of the barrier will shatter and the energy will return to her in pieces. Whatever remains of the barrier is still usable. Kyte may use this once a battle, and can be anywhere in relation to her opponent when she creates it. The magic used to create the barrier allows the effect and transfer of magical abilities of a teammate (i.e. healing) to pentrate the surface with no damage, and can effect her on a lower level. More energy would be needed for the magic to reach her at a standard level.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:00 pm


The Asteroid and Sphere


The Asteroid: 84224 Kyte

The Sphere: "Confectionery is the set of food items that are rich in sugar, any one or type of which is called a confection." -- Confectionery

xXSakura_ForeverXx


xXSakura_ForeverXx

PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:04 pm


Extra Spot


For who knows what 8D
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:05 pm


I write so much when it comes to explanations 8D;;;

Let this be OPEN for crit!

xXSakura_ForeverXx


Verithe

Hygienic Explorer

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 12:32 pm


I would attempt an actual crit, but it's 4:30 in the morning for me so I'm a bit loopy and I need to get to bed.

So instead, I must ask: Why did you choose Kyte to be the Senshi of Confections? No judgments. Just curiosity.
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 2:11 pm


Well, in connection to Rila herself, because of her love of sweets and baking and DOING STUFF. In relation to the name "Kyte," there was no specific reason, I just thought the name was cute and it flowed pretty well, with both the sphere and the sailor name having the "c/k" sound c:

xXSakura_ForeverXx


xXSakura_ForeverXx

PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 3:21 pm


Updated her Senshi post to fit the new template. I'm hoping I didn't go overboard in explanations.
PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 5:49 pm


I'm not really qualified enough to make comments on the senshi part, but I will do my best on the student part! ^__^

The one thing that sticks out as not really meshing with her personality, is the fact that you have Rila being both Independent, and yet with a lot of breakdowns. That would be fine, except that you have her 'not relying on others', but go on to say in her flaws that she'll break down at the drop of a hat if people don't like her treats or insults her. she obviously puts a lot of stock in what other people think of her, which is, in its own way, relying on people and what they think of her to define who she is.
I noticed that you also put independent as a flaw, so maybe just add a little bit to it(or the virtue one)?

Other than that though, she sounds really cute ^__^

I appreciate return crit if you have time! ^__^
Sailor Cyrene

Jolie Mariella


xXSakura_ForeverXx

PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 5:23 pm


Thanks for the crit, and I happily critted back with glee (does that make sense? too positive I think, but whatever) 8D

ANYWAY. Changed up the description a bit. I'm hoping that helped clear things up, but that's a good point I hadn't noticed until it was brought up~
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