Welcome to Gaia! ::

Not in tune, huh?

I get what you're saying. I, personally, can only describe this feeling as "I am not sure what to believe in".

I started feeling like this about 7 years ago, I started doubting about the religion my parents imposed. And as time passed, these doubts became stronger to the point I became an atheist.

However, my knowledge grew through the years and I realized many things about the world.

I came to the conclusion that ANYTHING could be ultimate truth, but whatever this truth is wasn't making it's presense clear enough for me to realize it.

How is it possible to not find time for one's path? I come from a perspective where the life and the path are a seamless whole; perhaps part of the problem is that you are compartmentalizing your beliefs from the rest of your life? Just pay attention. Watch things. Observe. Doesn't matter if you spend a week noting the direction of the wind or the number of people on the bus with their noses stuck in electronic gadgets. Be aware. Be present in the here and now; things will inevitably come to you when you least expect it. Just let it happen; let it be effortless, not trying hard.

Personally I think you are doing great that you consciously pray to the goddess and god every day. Many people don't even do that. I suggest trying to stray away from what others tell you and think about yourself. What makes you feel spiritually connected? It might not necessarily be meditation or rituals or even prayer. You may have your own ways of connecting with the higher forces that someone else has told you was inferior, or wrong. Resort to you, and not them. This will help you feel more connected because your form of worship, prayer, connection will be specially designed for you.

-These are my beliefs, and I hope you take no offense to my suggestions. That goes to everyone. I say this because I feel we have a tendency to take peoples beliefs and comments as stabs at our own individual belief system. So a note to all, remember to phrase things nicely and understand just because it is different doesn't mean it is wrong. To each his own, blessed be.-

I think that this is true, but it is difficult to do when you are used to having time for religion and time for life in a more separate manner.
One would have to just try and remember and take note of little things within the day, which I am proud to say I have been doing more often. The only bad thing is that I space off when I do it, lol.

And also, your doing great just to be praying tho them all the time! You can at least say that you have wicca/paganism on the mind when it isn't preoccupied with other things. So keep at that if that feels like something you are comfortable keeping up, 'cuz I think that that is a good thing to do, but that is just me.