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http://www.bookbyyou.com/teen/firstbite/demo.asp

they made a twilight-esc book so you can be the star....... laaaaaaaaame

Just when you think Twilight can't get anymore Mary Sue...something comes along to prove you wrong. Okay, it says FirstBite not Twilight but that crap wouldn't exist if Twilight didn't. ><

GAH! I cringe at the thought of people who actually enjoy this s**t...

i tried it to see what the excerpts would be.... bleh....

rofl
That's pretty darn hilarious.
I put in Evelyn and Severus to begin with, then immediately regretted it and changed it to Chuck and Ginger, the names of two of my cats. xd

Talk about self-inserts... stare

OH MY GOD.

YES.

BEWARE WORDS OF NAUGHTY.

"Sharkteeth v****a is a studious, book-loving high school senior whose safe world is turned upside down when she's drawn to the hero of our story, p***s ButtPirate, an immortal vampire whose dangerous 'unlife' is both frightening and fascinating. Their friends Douchelle and Bidet advise and support this starcrossed pair as they begin a turbulent relationship."

BESTER THAN MAD LIBS.

"Sharkteeth could feel the heavy shelves wobble and tilt precariously. Before she could even think of escaping out from underneath, she heard the sound of sudden footsteps and the slap of wood against flesh."

"p***s had been staring out into the stars for a while when a familiar low voice interrupted his thoughts. He whipped his head around and saw Bidet climbing up with practiced ease onto the roof to join him."

"p***s shook his head, wincing."

LOL.

The weird old guy who likes little girls had been staring out into the stars for a while when a familiar low voice interrupted his thoughts. “Friend, you’ve got to get over this girl.”
He whipped his head around and saw Cocknommer climbing up with practiced ease onto the roof to join him. The other vampire continued, “What’s gotten into you? I’ve never seen you so taken with anyone. Especially a mortal!” Cocknommer spat out the word with disgust. “They are ours for feeding. You treat this one as if she were your pet.”
“No. The girl who sold herself on the street is not a pet. I think I am in love with her.”
“Oh, I see. Forgive me if I have a hard time understanding that one, The weird old guy who likes little girls." Cocknommer bared his teeth in a wicked smile. “I must say, your strength in her presence is admirable. I’m certain that I could not contain my desire to taste of her sweetness.”
The weird old guy who likes little girls shot his friend a glare that could have punctured like a dagger. “You shall not touch her!”
“Calm down. I wouldn’t dare face your wrath. But don’t you see the pointlessness of all this?”
“I’ll tell her, truly I shall. Soon.” The weird old guy who likes little girls stared up at the unforgiving night sky. “She is a modern woman. Perhaps she might understand?”
Cocknommer chuckled softly. “Perhaps.”
The weird old guy who likes little girls shook his head, wincing. He did not want to tell her. He wanted to hang on to the fantasy for just a few days more, pretend to be a mortal man. Even if he could never experience the daylight as reflected in her black eyes or see the sun dance on her salt and pepper hair.
“What are you afraid of, The weird old guy who likes little girls? That she won’t understand, that she’ll turn and run?” Cocknommer narrowed his eyes. “Or is it that you think she might accept you for what you are? Afraid of a happy ending? The great and powerful vampire, trembling over a mortal teenage girl. Amazing! Count Dracula is rolling in his grave!”
The weird old guy who likes little girls had to laugh. It was ridiculous. But still he ached. He could not tell her. Not yet.

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The girl who sold herself on the street and The weird old guy who likes little girls face the reality of their relationship ...
“Did you enjoy the party?” The girl who sold herself on the street tilted her head and reached up a hand to remove her earrings as she watched The weird old guy who likes little girls in the mirror. That’s another myth gone. His reflection’s as visible as mine.
“Let me,” The weird old guy who likes little girls whispered, circling her ear with one night-cool finger. “Ah, the party. It was interesting. Your friend Captain Doucher has a great deal of energy.”
“That’s one way to put it! No fear, no speedometer, no brakes. That’s what she’d say.” The girl who sold herself on the street smiled fondly. “She’s a good friend.”
“Yes.” He looked deep into the mirror, seeing something she could not find; he forgot to pretend to breathe, lost in thought. The girl who sold herself on the street waited, curious and concerned, idly admiring the line of his jaw, the sparkle of his blue eyes.
A slow nod signaled his return to the moment. “Captain Doucher has suspicions about me. About what I am.”
The girl who sold herself on the street froze. “Are you sure?”
“She seems to have held her ideas for quite some time, on little evidence. Is she one of those who romanticizes my kind? There are many who seem strangely fascinated with my fictional brethren.”
“Well, Captain Doucher likes vampire flicks, but she’s no Goth.What exactly did she say?”
The weird old guy who likes little girls repeated the conversation verbatim. “As I said, she has little evidence, but still she persists in her conviction, and I cannot argue. She is, after all, correct about what I do.”
The girl who sold herself on the street stared at him. “The weird old guy who likes little girls?” Her voice was high and soft. “Would you show me? I mean…what you do? How you feed?”
“I would rather not.” Her face fell, and he had to look away. “If you feel it necessary, I shall. When you are certain. Not until then.” Gentle as the brush of a shadow, he stroked her cheek, kissed her, and vanished into the night, leaving her alone.
The girl who sold herself on the street lay awake long into the night, falling finally into a restless, dream-haunted sleep about The weird old guy who likes little girls where each ray of sunshine coming through the windows was first his touch, then a brand of fire, alternately pleasure and pain. She woke, sweating and chilled, wondering why she didn’t just turn and run away....
SELF-STAB ATTACK!!!!