This is a poem I wrote last year on a bus ride home. It's been revised a few times, but I'm still a little unsure of some of the language.

I admire those autumn coloured trees
Lengthy branches against a tenebrous sky
Dying in muddy sunset hues

I smell those autumn coloured leaves
Rhubarb, crab-apple, pumpkin, cinnamon
Crocheted into the freshness of emptied clouds

I feel those autumn coloured trees
Twigs and needles tangled in my blushed hair
Through a vivacious, crisp wind

I hear those autumn coloured leaves
Crushed beneath soft scurrying paws
On paths under blackberry bushes

I lose those autumn coloured trees
Carefully put to sleep under white blankets
Seasonally hushed


Any suggestions?