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 Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:16 pm
You know when your family is about to hit the low point? When you wake up to the sounds of them arguing. *actually happened to me* My mom and my sister were arguing in Spanish over my mom getting a job and how my sister is the one keeping is the one keeping the family on its feet while my mom lazes about the house and doesn't even bother looking for a job. *which, sadly, for the most part, is true* I don't understand why my mom is becoming so negligent lately. *she left the window open on one of the coldest nights I've ever felt because she felt warm if it wasn't open, and I ended up catching a nasty cough, which I still have* And now shes trying to justify not dedicating most of her time to not looking for a job. My brother works, my sister works, and I'm trying to find work to suppport the family, but...it feels like my mom isn't. Help?
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:53 pm
Not really much you can do, in my opinion. You could try moving out on your own, or moving out with some of your siblings?
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:46 pm
Has your mom always been like this, or is it a recent thing? If she's always been like this, like Niko says, there probably isn't too much you can do except tough it out until you can move out on your own. Unfortunate, but at least it will teach you how to take care of yourself.
However, if this is a recent change, and your mom hasn't always been like this.. it might be an indication that something is wrong. Something may have happened, or she may be depressed or something. I would suggest talking to her, because there might be something you can do to help.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 5:05 pm
I agree with disinfected. She could very well be going through something. The fact that she felt warm on one of the "coldest nights" could be a sign of menopause. If this is the case, her hormones acting funky could very well be inducing the lethargy and unwillingness to go out and find work.
As for families "falling apart," this just happens. I remember the last two years or so that I was living with my mother. We got to a point where I was mentally independant but financial dependant. This created a LOT of friction between my mother and I. If we talked at all, it was shouting. Drove my poor step-papa bonkers.
We still love each other a lot. It's just that we rubbed each other the wrong way all the time. As soon as I moved out and wasn't depending on her anymore, we were perfectly fine.
Obviously, this isn't the case with your family, at least not exactly. It does, however, sound similar. Your sister, being the one supporting the family, probably feels like she should be the one calling the shots. Your mother, being the one who birthed all of you and who is older than the rest of you, probably feels that she should still make all the decisions and rules. This would cause a weird power dynamic in which every party is trying to be the top dog.
Unfortunatly, there is really nothing that can be done. I am sure that neither your sister nor your mother would particularly want to stop being the one in control. Just wait it out, stay out of everyone's way, and don't take it too seriously. Remember, they love each other. This has nothing to do with "falling apart."
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