Filiastra
The first part is female to female:
If you are pregnant, I would like to be the Godmother!
When you are getting married invite me to your wedding. I would love to be there! Can you give me your number?
[It's an inside joke for those who take it seriously]This part is female talking to male:
I really hope your girlfriend isn't a white b***h! I'm going to beat you up if she is.
I know you are not going out with a white girl!
Your girlfriend is ugly.
Si estas pre~ada(the ~is supposed to be above an n but I'm on a laptop), yo quisiera ser the madrina.
Cuando te vallas a casar invitame a tu boda. Me encantaria estar ahi! Me puedes dar tu numero?
Yo espero que tu novia no sea una p**a blanca! Te dare una paliza si lo es.
Yo se que no estas saliendo con una chica blanca!
Tu novia es fea.
There! I translated it!