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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:39 am
 I've been working on this story for a while now. It's not finished yet, and it still needs A LOT of revision. It's long, so I'm going to post in chapter-like sections. Please reply with feedback. Telling me you like or hate it doesn't teach me anything! Be brutal, be specific! I've also had quite a bit of inspiration in the way of pictures for this tale, the pictures will be posted with the appropriate section. Happy reading! Happy Halloween!
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:48 am

One dreary rainy evening a young girl sat drumming her fingertips lastly against the heavy wooden top of her desk. Her mirror image copied her – always drumming along exactly in tune. An imaginative girl she was, but the poor quality of the evening seemed to have drained every small spark of interesting thought from the girl – so she stared at her doppelganger in the looking glass.
Alice her name was, as for her doppelganger, perhaps her name was Ecila – or so Alice liked to believe.
“What to do Ecila?” Alice asked her mirror.
“You should go outside,” the girl answered back. “There are always interesting things to adventure around with outside.”
“But it is raining outside,” Alice whined, “I would get all wet.”
“A little water has never hurt anyone has it?” Ecila piped back. “And besides, if the rabbits have the guts to go out in the rain, surely you should.”
“Rabbits?”
“Look! Don’t you see him? Hopping through the garden? He is probably on his way to the large fir tree outside your gates – I’ve seen many a white rabbit disappear under its roots.”
Alice stood up and ventured towards her window. The rain drops were falling lightly and quietly now – more of a sprinkle than anything. And there! Just as Ecila had said, there was a small white rabbit hopping across the rock strewn path.
Alice dashed to the door and stopped.
“Mother will never let me out in this weather,” she sighed. Her shoulders fell as she walked back towards her writing desk. “Then sneak out, you’ll be back before she would ever notice your absence,” Ecila whispered. The girl in the looking glass pointed towards Alice’s window. Alice watched as the pane slid up, up, up – slowly but surely and not making a sound.
“Go on,” Ecila said. “Come play with me!”
Ten seconds later Alice was running across her garden path towards the giant fir tree on the other side of her gate. When she reached it, sure enough – small newly made footprints leading under the roots. “Hello?” Alice called, not wanting to enter without first announcing her presence. “Is anyone at home?” When there was no answer, Alice entered underneath the great root on hands and knees. “Sir?” she called out, for surely the rabbit she had seen was male. “Sir, are you here?” “Goodness gracious, I haven’t the time!” came a high pitched voice from further in. “No visitors! No visitors! I’m truly very late!” “I shan’t be any bother to you at all,” Alice called back. “What in the world are you late for, if I might ask?” “Why the court hearing, of course,” the white rabbit said when she entered a large round room (right underneath the fir tree of course). The rabbit was remarkably clad in coat and tails and was holding a large gold pocket watch in his right hand – methodically tapping his foot against the dirt floor the entire time. “Court hearing?” Alice asked as she crouched next to the rabbit? “What sort of hearing? I wasn’t aware that rabbits had court hearings, you see?” “It’s not a hearing for me or mine, surely not!” the rabbit answered her with a smile. “Nor am I the only one late, dear Ecila – for the hearing is yours!” And with one swift tug the floor opened up underneath Alice and she fell into a deep, deep hole – a hold underneath the fir tree. She cried out in alarm and grappled for a hand hold – but the walls were smooth as silver. So many thoughts ran through her head as she fell, for she fell for quite some time. The most trying of all were, of course, how she would make it home in time for dinner, what on earth could she be on trial for, and why in the world had the white rabbit referred to her as Ecila? But just when Alice thought she was sick of falling and it was time to wake up, her body gained a lightlessness and she landed gently on her feet in a sandy beach (all underneath the great big fir tree, of course).
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:55 am
She glanced around herself wondering where in the world she was and what Elica had done. “Well this certainly won’t do,” Alice said to herself. “If Elica is on trial for something than I simply must find her and explain to someone that I must be home by supper. Mother will be furious if she finds me missing.” On the one side of her was a vast ocean. She could see two figures on some rocks farther out. They appeared to be enjoying a meal together, though of what Alice could not discern. “Hello,” she cried out with a wave of her arm. One figure, whom looked much like a walrus to Alice’s surprise, simply waved back before returning to his meal. On her right the beach seemed to stretch indefinitely. In front of her was a very tiny carriage house, big enough only for something as small as a rabbit. And to her left the sand blended seamlessly into the white tiled floor of a decent sized room. As Alice walked towards it she realized that every wall was covered the exact same way. A large round table stood in the center of the floor, as well as 2 of the walls and the ceiling! The third wall was covered with a massive door. Alice walked towards the door and placed her hand upon the door knob. As Alice attempted to turn it, the door knob left her hand and shot into the door as if it had never been there! With a quiet shriek Alice jumped back and watched as a face appeared in the door. “Who disturbs my slumber?” the face roared as Alice cowered. “Please Sir!” Alice pleaded, “I don’t know where I am and I must get home. If I’m not back in my bedroom by supper time my mother will be furious, Sir.” “What have you got in your pockets?” the face in the door shouted as Alice finished. “I have no pockets, Sir,” Alice cried as she searched her apron and dress for something, anything. “I must have something! I must have something! If you do not give me something than I shall have you!” The doorknob continued to scream, it’s voice rising higher and higher with every word until he was shrieking like a parrot would. “Give it to me!” he screeched. And with a violent shove two arms thrust from the wooden door and the shape of a man began to appear in the woods as if a man were going to materialize and walk right out of the wood! But as the face in the door shrieked and shoved the door itself lunged open an inch. Alice slid out of the way of the groping hands and the screeching mouth with a loud cry of surprise and fear. Once again the face lunged, pulling even more of himself out so that the wood stretched as if it were made of cloth. But every time the face pushed towards Alice the door opened more. With a determined cry Alice ran forward to squeeze through that space. Surely she would fit. She must fit! The door grabbed for her, snagging her dress and apron. Claws that she hadn’t noticed before tore pieces of the cloth in long strips as Alice struggled. “Give it to me!” the door screeched as it gave Alice a swift tug. She stumbled to the ground, her hands breaking her fall as the door grabbed for her again. It’s hands wrapped around her leg and pulled. But Alice was halfway through the opening. She grabbed the wall and pulled as she kicked her legs frantically trying to escape from the door that held her and get to the safety of the other side. As the door pulled her leg, Alice pulled herself until finally her leg slipped from his grasp – leaving only her show in its clawed hands. Alice heard the door scream in a sound of triumph before the light of the beach vanished and the door slammed behind her.
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:36 am
Oh, fun!! The thing is with Alice and Wonderland it is so weird that you could make the scariest twisted story you want from it. I liked it a lot. I can't wait to read more. She didn't seem to spend much time on the beach though it was funny!!
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:02 am
Well, seeing as how this is a short story she doesn't really spend a lot of time anywere. The story moves pretty quickly. Glad you liked it. I'll try and have the next section up later...than it will be a while because I haven't written much past the twins yet...
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:11 am
It totally freaked me out!! I love it!! mrgreen
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:31 am
zoje972 It totally freaked me out!! I love it!! mrgreen You think that's creepy wait till I post the next section and you meet "The Twins", Cheshire cat also makes his first appearance...
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:22 pm
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