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 Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:37 pm
Crashing thunder,
Brilliant lightning,
As night falls into place,
Silence in the forest,
Slipping into dark’s embrace.
A-tumbling among the leaves,
Goes the rolling rain.
A night within this maddening place,
It drives one insane.
Breaking loose upon the morn,
A dove it once will fly,
Upon the sun’s lasting rays,
And a newborn kit’s first cry.
Finally free of night’s clamping jaws,
A crow or two can soar,
As the hungry wolves hear their caws,
In this paradise there is more.
Cats and dogs,
Birds and frogs,
Live in this beautiful place.
The forest, sadly, is torn down,
By the human race.
I am hoping to win a poetry contest and get it published! It would be one more step to becoming a professional author! =D
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Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:56 pm
Sapphirianna Crashing thunder, Brilliant lightning, As night falls into place, Silence in the forest, Slipping into dark’s embrace. A-tumbling among the leaves, Goes the rolling rain. A night within this maddening place, It drives one insane. Breaking loose upon the morn, A dove it [at] once will fly, Upon the sun’s lasting rays, And a newborn kit’s first cry. Finally free of night’s clamping jaws, A crow or two can soar, *As the hungry wolves hear their caws, In this paradise there is more. * Cats and dogs, Birds and frogs, **Live in this beautiful place. The forest, sadly, is torn down, **By the human race. I am hoping to win a poetry contest and get it published! It would be one more step to becoming a professional author! =D * These two lines don't flow well as written, and should probably be separate sentences. **These lines read very much like prose, and are awkward to read after such nice poetry. This is your poetry, so I don't want to get to pushy about how it's written. It's great poetry, so you don't have to take my advice.
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Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:45 pm
When I entered the contest, I tweaked it a bit to make more sense... But thanks for the critique!
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:40 am
No problem, I'm happy to help!
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:33 pm
AWESOMENESS! I"M GONNA BE PUBLISHED! THEY PICKED MINE!!!!!!!! xd heart heart xd xd xd xd
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:32 pm
Congratulations! Way to go Saphirianna. What publication will it be in? *plots to go out and buy*
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:26 am
I'm not sure, but I'll tell you guys when I get the letter that's supposed to be coming sometime soon.
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