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 Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:29 pm
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:42 pm
haha! i've seen these....you gettin' this stuff off of FunnyJunk or Lot'sOfJokes or somethin' like that?...
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:48 pm
inuismineBACKOFF haha! i've seen these....you gettin' this stuff off of FunnyJunk or Lot'sOfJokes or somethin' like that?... Funny Junk.com... ninja
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:52 pm
yep....that's what i thought....
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:18 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:44 pm
rofl Those are so funny! It's great when people post stuff like this in the guild... I always get a laugh out of it.
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:48 pm
lol
u know what's pitaful???
i was lookin' at a collages web page and lookin' into Equin *horses* and for ridin' lessons or certin types of ridin' there are rules
one of them is u can't have a toung ring in while inthe barn riding
and onther one is w/the helmet... the hair has to be up in it...
i got like hair down past my bra strap..... yea.... and it's thick.... i dont' think so! it ain't fittin' in a helmet..... heck it bearly goes up in the band hat!
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:36 pm
its really old but i still love this one
"On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)"
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GoldDiggingWhore Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:07 am
Now I feel like going out and getting a food processor...and using it however I damn well please.
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:48 pm
My friend, Gary, found a huuuuuuge list of this kind of stuff. Most of them were from other countries where English isn't the native language. A lot of the instructions were unintentionally sexual or didn't mean much of anything. If you really want to see some odd things, try looking at a hair dryer's instruction manual. They say things like, do not use while bathing, or contact a qualified electrician if you can't get the plug into the outlet. Not in those exact words, but it's there.
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 4:47 am
Way funny. I remember that one about the chainsaw. Ah, good stuff. I adore the one about the Korean knife, just hilarious.
biggrin xd blaugh xp whee lol 4laugh rofl mrgreen
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:22 am
You know, for the chainsaw one, I've actually heard of ones that tell people not to stop it with their hands or genitals...now, who in their right mind would ever think, "Gee, this chainsaw is out of control...I think I'll try to jam it with my wee wee," is beyond me.
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GoldDiggingWhore Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:08 am
GoldDiggingWhore You know, for the chainsaw one, I've actually heard of ones that tell people not to stop it with their hands or genitals...now, who in their right mind would ever think, "Gee, this chainsaw is out of control...I think I'll try to jam it with my wee wee," is beyond me.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 8:35 am
I'm going to go buy a kitchen knife... ninja
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Fashionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 8:53 am
Ginhi~kun I'm going to go buy a Korean kitchen knife... ninja
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