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 Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 11:44 am
Komori-Chan No, it's not some fancy lure to get you in here. It's a statement, and I want to find some other girls who feel this way as well. Guys, of course, are welcome to join in too. To be clear: I'm not bashing feminists or their causes, or anyone really. These are my personal opinions on being a young woman, and they're not intended to criticize anyone else. Common misconceptions about me: 1. Yes, I am an actual girl. 2. No, I was not abused as a child in anyway. 3. Yes, I had a strong father figure. 4. No, I'm not seeking approval or attention. What I mean: 1. I think women have officially gone mad with power. 2. Men are losing everything it once meant to be a male. 3. Chivalry is dead. 4. Just once would I like to be revered for the way I look, without some moron throwing in, "But it's what's inside that counts". Am I really the only girl left that appreciates a cliche pick-up line every now and again? To each their own, I say. I, for one, think its a bit of a double standard, what most women want in rights. Example, they say they want equal treatment in everything, but when the bill comes for dinner, do they want to pay half? Nope, they expect the dude to pay the whole thing, 'cause it's what the guy is supposed to do. I'm sure there are more like you out there, you just have to seek them out. Some people like to get it put to them, and some don't, nothin' can change that.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:48 pm
I'm somewhat in between. I love that women have more rights today, and definitely that we have more options, but when it comes to my personal life, I've always kind of wanted to be the housewife.
Yes, I want to go to college and have a career for a good long while. Yes, I LOVE having the right to speak my mind and have my opinions respected, but I'd still love to have my boyfriend pick up the check, hold the door for me, and oggle my body.
And, when I have kids, I want to stay home, make my husband a sandwich, pick up the kids from soccer, and watch soap operas after scrubbing the bathroom floor.
Like I said, I'm half and half, but at least I know what I want. That's all that really matters.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:24 pm
As a rather effemiate male (or so everyond I know describes me), I actually like the idea of a more female-led culture. With certain subtle exceptions, but nonetheless. If I take a girl out for dinner, I'll pay for the meal (unless, as in at least two cases I know, they insist on paying their share anyhow), and other practices that just seem polite to me.
That said, there is a case for the classic 'working man and housewife' way that things have been in the past (though I question the sanity of any woman who is into soap operas), and most likely that is the structure I will end up living in.
I have to agree with Seori, though. If you know what you want, that is what matters more than the overall societal patterns.
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:54 am
Heh...
I let my boy do everything for me. Like, if there's something that I'm reaching for, and its just out of arms reach, and he's in the same room- I"ll point to it and go "EH!", and he'll walk across the room and get it for me. I like being spoiled that way. I don't do it all the time though, hell, I wouldn't do it at all if I didn't know for a fact that he loves to spoil me.
It's just nice to know that someone cares so much for me that they'd rather dote on me than not. It's a sweet gesture, it makes me feel appreciated for the things that I do for him.
Besides, what woman doesn't like being wooed sometimes?
Aside from Jeremy, I always like doors opened for me. If some guy sees me carrying heavy groceries, and offers to take them the rest of the way to my car for me- let him. Even if I don't feel like being helped at the time, its very sweet and makes me feel happy to know that they at least offered.
I have a healthy appreciation for cheesy pick-up lines, though the more original ones that I hear usually get a better response. I'm engaged now though, and it's a bit difficult to come up with a nice, but definitively negative response to some of them. I usually answer "No, I'm good, thanks...but nice try."
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:53 am
I don't expect anyone to foot the bill on my dates. I never go out on a date, in fact, unless I have enough money to pay for at least myself. In reality, we take turns splitting and buying for each other... nobody is keeping a tally running. Sometimes I buy for us, sometimes he buys, sometimes we split. It works out great.
As to chivalry, that was dead the moment it was concieved of. Rather, it only ever truly existed in poems. In reality knights had terrible conduct towards women.
Now, I'm not above accepting a little courtesy, but If a guy wants a surefire way of absolutely killing the romantic mood, all he has to do is trip over himself to open doors for me, hold umbrellas over me, and all that good stuff. How am I supposed to feel comfortable with someone when they're practically throwing themselves in the gutter to keep me from stepping in muddy water? A date should feel natural, just like hanging out with no pressure. Romantic gestures are fine, but yeesh; Tone it down, man.
And I want to be sexual without being a *sex object* ... I want to be valued as a partner, not a ******** toy, and not looked down on for enjoying sexual acts. Seriously man, have you looked at porn lately? I like porn, but it's hard to get into a lot of it. The prevailing message is that there isn't one sexual act that a woman can preform which doesn't reflect badly on her. It's like those t-shirts that are supposed to be horribly insulting that say things like "my ex swallows" ... So what the ******** ******** if she does?! Why is that so horrible and degrading?! There is, of course no corrosponding t-shirt for a woman. And what would it say, anyway? "My ex likes pegging"?! ... hmmm....
Gawd. I was really ranting there..... sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:08 pm
Personally I don't really care either way. No matter how you feel or your view on the subject a woman will do as she chooses just as a man will. Me having a characteristic of a more laid back person the Ideal of having guy do this girl do that is just a waste of energy. You wanna pick up the bill, fine. You want me to, that's fine as well. It's all about what causes the least friction. Whatever floats your boat baby, that's my motto. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:53 pm
Here is how I responded in the thread:
Being treated like "a girl" isn't un-feminist, it's just the fact that it's best to think of it like this:
Women have the privilege to be treated how they wish to be treated, similarly to how men can be treated the way they wish to be treated. In the 50s, if a guy pursued you, you would have to play by specific rules and most likely go on a date with him whether you wanted to or not.
Today, however, a woman can choose if she wants to wear skirts and giggles and wiggles her a** and if she would rather just make friends with guys, and mutually fall in love.
Personally I do not date. This is because I have tried it and found it to be rather superficial and annoying. But my best male friends and I fell in love after a year of close friendship. Now, two years later, we're engaged and going to college together.
I am happy that I was able to have my relationship work this way, and choose to reject traditional dating styles for one that was right for me.
I think that all women and men should have the rights to be in relationships and ask to be treated in the manner that they feel comfortable with.
If some guy or girl is an a*****e about it, then you should be able to tell them to STFU and flip them off.
Do what makes you happy. Those are the freedoms that those before us have secured for us; just be aware that it can change, and there are lots of politicians who don't like it the way it is now.
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 7:00 pm
Well, I always seem to have money, and I try to pay for as much as possible when on a date with a girl. I try to be a gentlman no matter what when I am alone with a girl. In public with my freinds may be a different story, but I never disrespect a female if I have the ability to control myself.
I will take whatever it takes from a female to make sure she has a good time, that is all that matters to me. If she is happy, and having a good time, then I did a good job and I deserve my sleep that night.
but that rarely happens, since most girls see me as nothing more than a brother and a great freind. Why do women do that? do they know the guy likes them, and do that simply because they dont want to date him, or are they serious about concerning themselves about our feelings?
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:14 am
stare mmm intense.. So...you want to find other girls who like being treated as a sex object by men??? mmmm I dunno if I like that idea or not, it is kinda' odd when I roll it around in my mind a few times....lets see here, I am 19, still a virgin, but I have experince in other forms of play, my boi is 20, not a virgin but might as well be, he says, since it has been so long. I have a large sexual desire, he does as well when ever we get a chance alone we lay together, nap..then go at it pretty rough. Now, he doesn't treat me as a sexual object but enjoy when he grabs my arms and is a little rough I know it isn't the same, but it could be that girl inside me saying "yes, call me that whore, let me be your sex slave" type thing...kinda'. 4laugh I dunno, what other sort of things would you look for??
We pay for one another back and forth sometimes, he doesn't have a car yet so I am his personal driver, and he doesn't pay me gas....he doesn't use me...I don't use him...I think...and it is a scary thought we are pretty well in love...so....I dunno...what do you think?? 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:01 pm
Shoryuken Well, I always seem to have money, and I try to pay for as much as possible when on a date with a girl. I try to be a gentlman no matter what when I am alone with a girl. In public with my freinds may be a different story, but I never disrespect a female if I have the ability to control myself. I will take whatever it takes from a female to make sure she has a good time, that is all that matters to me. If she is happy, and having a good time, then I did a good job and I deserve my sleep that night. but that rarely happens, since most girls see me as nothing more than a brother and a great freind. Why do women do that? do they know the guy likes them, and do that simply because they dont want to date him, or are they serious about concerning themselves about our feelings? Hey, you know what? My fiance is the kind of guy that everyone sees as a "friend" or "brother figure." But to me, I was his friend, I fell in love with him, and now..well..hehe..now we plan to marry. So not ALL girls prescribe to the "dating OR friend" mentality.
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 3:09 pm
Oni-Angel Shoryuken Well, I always seem to have money, and I try to pay for as much as possible when on a date with a girl. I try to be a gentlman no matter what when I am alone with a girl. In public with my freinds may be a different story, but I never disrespect a female if I have the ability to control myself. I will take whatever it takes from a female to make sure she has a good time, that is all that matters to me. If she is happy, and having a good time, then I did a good job and I deserve my sleep that night. but that rarely happens, since most girls see me as nothing more than a brother and a great freind. Why do women do that? do they know the guy likes them, and do that simply because they dont want to date him, or are they serious about concerning themselves about our feelings? Hey, you know what? My fiance is the kind of guy that everyone sees as a "friend" or "brother figure." But to me, I was his friend, I fell in love with him, and now..well..hehe..now we plan to marry. So not ALL girls prescribe to the "dating OR friend" mentality. Personaly if you want a life long partner, you should date your friend, me and my boy friend were friends before we ever started dating and now we are just so comfortable around one another and happy, I would rather date a good friend then someone I just met. mrgreen
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:02 am
Quite confusing, this...
women have lots of rights now and are treated pretty much equally, but does that stop there from being the old-fashioned ideas? No! but there really is no problem in that is there? I would like someone to compliment my looks and not what's *cough cough* 'inside'. Chivalry has pretty much died out. you never see guys hold open doors anymore. in fact, today, I held open a door for Ryan and he slammed it in my face. Hmm...you don't see Sir Lancelot doing that kind of thing do you? It would be kind of nice for some guy to just chat up to me first and ME never make the first move. Is he afraid i'm going to say "sod off" like right away?! Where i live, it's illegal to have sex if you're under 16, so i'm not going to say anything about the "Sex Whore" thing just yet... (only 14)
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:31 pm
You know, Chidugi and I have a lot in common on this one. The smoothest path is best. Avoid friction, unless it brings pleasure to both parties. heart
Honestly, I don't have much luck. When I ask girls to go out to eat with me, they're always busy, and when I want to hang out, they're with their boyfriends, so the Cap'n has sturck out. But really, whatever method works for me, I don't know yet. I only know that whoever the lucky girl is, I'll be a man, not a pig, or a welcome mat. And if she doesn't like that, then too bad, black guys are in demand, so I'll get a girl soon enough.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:05 pm
chidugi Personally I don't really care either way. No matter how you feel or your view on the subject a woman will do as she chooses just as a man will. Me having a characteristic of a more laid back person the Ideal of having guy do this girl do that is just a waste of energy. You wanna pick up the bill, fine. You want me to, that's fine as well. It's all about what causes the least friction. Whatever floats your boat baby, that's my motto. 3nodding I quite agree. I really don't care either way...I do bring money on dates and offer to split the bill, but if he says "No, I've got this" I figure, well whatever. I don't see why some women have their boyfriends buy them EVERYTHING, though. I don't know about them, but I like to earn my money myself. Then I buy what I want with said money. However, I do love it when guys open doors for me and hold umbrellas and all that jazz. I find it so sweet and gentlemanly...You don't find many like that much anymore. At least, not in my ring of friends. Dammit, my friend Brett fondled me in the chest last Monday. He got so beat for that...
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:09 pm
Aeinor Quite confusing, this...
women have lots of rights now and are treated pretty much equally, but does that stop there from being the old-fashioned ideas? No! but there really is no problem in that is there? I would like someone to compliment my looks and not what's *cough cough* 'inside'. Chivalry has pretty much died out. you never see guys hold open doors anymore. in fact, today, I held open a door for Ryan and he slammed it in my face. Hmm...you don't see Sir Lancelot doing that kind of thing do you? It would be kind of nice for some guy to just chat up to me first and ME never make the first move. Is he afraid i'm going to say "sod off" like right away?! Where i live, it's illegal to have sex if you're under 16, so i'm not going to say anything about the "Sex Whore" thing just yet... (only 14) Sir Lancelot had an affair with King Arthur's wife Guinivere...That's not very gentlemanly...
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