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 Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:43 pm
 This outhouse isn't like the other similar porcelain thrones in the communal restrooms and showers. There is only one seat here, yet it's large enough to fit several people at once. Decorating one wall is " CAMERA HERE" in large, colorful letters with a big red arrow pointing to a lens in the wall. Here, both campers and staff can let out their inner secrets and problems for the entire world to know. Hey, it's more effective than an online journal! Some Graffitii decorates the wall:BLAHBLAHBLAH I'M NOT POPULAR ENOUGH FOR MY OWN SHOW. Sorry dude, you're only fit to be -my- right hand man ;D -ChrisWhat the heck is this?!:Read the description! It's basically a place for you guys to rant to the camera. Someone bugging you? Let us know! Want to let the viewing audience know why you voted a certain way? Rant here! It keeps ratings high, so maybe you'll find a certain host rewarding you for making use of the cam. BUT A NOTE: Things ranted about here -cannot- be known by other campers ICly. Read them all you want folks but if your camper suddenly knows another's deepest darkest secrets because they were written here I -will- bring the smackdown. The only people who should know ICly are the ones that said it, and the people who watch the cameras (Chris, Chef, and the other producers). NO ONE ELSE. CAPEESH? ******* [ Main Campgrounds ]
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:57 pm
Chef sat in front of the camera, a look of doubt on his face. "Y'know, at first this was pretty interestin'. I mean, take some campers and shove'em out here for McLean to mess around with. But now, man! Lookit them all!" He paused, a malicious grin appearing on his face. "Heh heh, soon it looks like ah'm gonna haveta bust out mah lasagna recipe, famous for makin' even the most hardened criminals bawl for their momma's."
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:14 pm
It wasn't often he came in here, but from the way this season was starting off he was getting the feeling he'd be using the cam a lot this time around.
"Hey, hey you. I know you're both watching, well watch -this-."
Chris, for once, lost his calm smile and childishly stuck his tongue out at the camera in the wall.
"MUFFINS, I'm clearly the LUCKIEST HAMSTER AWESOME of the producers, the other two? They're such GROOVY COOL CATS! What is up with HUGGING me WITH SPARKLES this morning to CHEER me up?! They knew I had been up, ya know... DANCING WITH them, and they have the BRAVO to COMPLIMENT me?!"
Chris huffed, folding his arms across his chest. His ears were pinned back and his maw was the perfect picture of annoyance.
"Seriously dudes, WELL DONE. And then they tell me DING! FRIES ARE DONE...20 more PILES OF FANMAIL, have fun!'. Really?! REALLY? How'd we go from a nice CUDDLY BEAR of 20 something SMOOTHIES to this FANTASMIC EVENT? You guys DON'T OWE me anything anymore! Sure it's plenty of HAPPY NORMAL CAMPERS for me to SUPERVISE but...well at least I won't have to sleep on the roof of a cabin. But I can't say the same for them."
He laughed, the thought of some poor sap stuck on a roof was enough to cheer him up. A bit.
"Then I can't even tell them what BALLERINAS DO if they JUMP OFF A CLIFF. Stupid PANCAKES, hrmph! Not that CHUPACABRAS mind too much because the looks of confusion will be great, but MITTENS if anyone goes snooping around in my DOUBLE WIDE and finds a MOUNTIE HIDING IN THE CLOSET I'm going to be FLUFFY. LIKE A Real BEAVER."
He turned to leave, but not before offering a final bit of grump to the camera.
"Sorry you guys ARE TOO AWESOME to actually come to the WHINEY HOST show, hope you have fun in your shadowy boardroom of IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS IN WHICH LOSERS LIKE ME CAN NOT PARTICIPATE. Heh..I LIKE WAFFLES.."
He snickered to himself and left.
Content edited for general audiences everywhere.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:31 pm
Carmen flung the door open to this outhouse like a tornado ripping a tree branch into its dark furious winds. Her eyes were bugging out, and she was cradling her abdomen with as much care as possible.
Her eyes reflected some manner of salvation as her eyes saw the "toilet seat" there. She knew her relief was imminent. She hoped noone was following her outside, because she'd feel terrible if anyone heard this.
She was attempting to peer around outside to check, but the searing pain hit her again. "OHHHHHH....." This cry of discomfort was accompanied with a face squelched up. Her eyes and cheeks continuously distorting.
Then, came a very loud, squishy, and slightly musical explosion of bowels in there. It was likely much to her dismay that anyone within a five to ten foot radius would in fact hear it. However, what happened next would be what spell a memory forever after this day.
She had started to talk to herself during this. "I just..." grunts and heavy breathing. "Oh man.... Those pancakes sure didn't agree with me."
A tear almost fell when her eyes looked up as relief started to seep in, and her stomach immediately felt better. She then looked to the side. OMG! WHERE WAS THE TOILET PAPER????? What kind of joke was this? How come they didn't have any toilet paper in this outhouse???
Carmen started to fidget around about how she was going to clean herself up. She patted her hands around the walls to feel for a shelf? A ledge? She felt something. Not a shelf ... A.... She sat staring into the hole. She lowered her eyes below it. "Camera Here." s**t... Double s**t... "<******** my life! I'm gonna die!!!"
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:37 pm
 Bobby snuck into what he'd haeard was the Confessional Booth, but it just looked like a normal outhouse... smelled like one too. But he was too cool to be affected, so he stood in front of the wall marked "Camera Here" and decided to get some things off of his chest.
"You know the cheerleader, Kelly (don't even ask me what I had to do to get her name), well she is one fine piece of tail.... and then she opens her mouth! Why is it the pretty ones who are such high maintenance? Why couldn't they be pretty and cool. I'm sure that I could get her to relax if we hung out more, but she just causes tidle waves in my smooth lake, disrupting everything." Sighs pensively. "Almost enough to disrupt my smooth sailing
"And yet, I just can't get the image of that tail out of my mind... What am I to do? Is it spring fever? Could I be losing my cool?"
Another sigh
"Oh well, there's still time to figure it out... if Lucifer, Chef, or Chris doesn't kill me first. Dude, I can't believe I'm doing this - confession to a stupid camera!
"I'm outta here!"
Bobby pushes his sunglasses back up, adjusts his collar and then sneaks back out of the outhouse.
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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:46 am
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
Lorna calmed down after a few more screams, she finally realised how much of a disturbance Chefs little er...'puppet' show was last night, it was a delayed reaction but good god, how could he!? "Chef, I swear, that man is totally messed up in the head, how could he DO that to us?! It is one thing to tell us this in a nice, normal manner but come on! Dude! You are totally messed up! But then im here till god knows when, I am just going to have to deal with it. Thankfully, im not going to have to eat the Chefs food...at least not willingly anyway, no way am I going to touch what he cooks, who knows what he sticks in that food, for all we know he could be drugging us, im SO not going to be sick by his food more then I probably will be by being forced to consume his food."
Lorna got up and straighted up her shirt and then left the outhouse.
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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:24 pm
 Trotting into the Confessional Cam, Tiffany quickly sat down upon the toilet and looked about for the camera. Finding it, she smiled and waved. "Hey! Tiffany here," she said with a wink, as if she were hosting her own show. "I'm just here to update y'all on who I believe to be 'hot' and who's 'not.' Kapeesh?" She grinned and bounced excitedly; this was sort of fun.
"First off, there's this green and black-colore dchick with crazy green and black hair. I think her name's Jay? She's awesome; I can tell just by looking at her that she's awesome. She's either someone I need to watch out for or make friends with; she's someone that could do some serious damage to the Sharks. She's fallen for this Axl dude? Seems like an a**, but whatever. That'll be interesting to see, right?" She smiled and took a breath. "Okay, now, my team; the Sharks. Hot? The pyro guy. The whole fire thing works for him, you know? Then there's Mithi... he's like, shy and whatnot, but I think I could work with that. The third guy on my team is... William? I think... Anyway, he looks cool, but haven't spoken to him yet. Haven't spoken to the pyro either, but... do I need to? Seriously." Taking a breath, Tiffany started up again. "Now the not? Pretty much all the girls except me. The Lorna chick looks like a creampuff. Blech. The Kiki girl actually looks sort of fun... colorful, y'know? But haven't spoken to basically... anyone yet. Uh... Ariel? Haven't met her yet, so... whatever. Ew. That Eliazuli chick? Hate. Her. She's totally trippin'. Like seriously, I think she's on drugs. And if she is, where can I get some? Uh... Marlo looks like a freak. Enough said. Rosalina looks pretty cool, I suppose. Rosa looks like someone our team could use - she looks totally badass. ******** yes. And do not get me started on that Kelly chick. She's like... a prep, washed-out cheerleader, but without the uniform or guys fawning all over her. Much hate. Reza I haven't spoken to, but she looks down to earth. Alex gave me this ******** look when I first saw her; seems like a b***h. Helena looks smart... 'could be useful. And Chicka looks pretty cool." Taking a huge gulp of air, Tiffany moved on to the next team.
"I'm only going to talk about the more prominent and important figures of the Seagulls. Nicky is a total cutie, and so is Bobby. I hear Bobby's friends with Axl, so that's cool, right? Asher and Lex are pretty hot, Axl is really hot, and that Nigel dude creeps me out. Seems like he snorted some shrooms or something. Carmen, Lizzy, and Kylee look pretty cool. That Carmen chick? I pretty much love her Great Tits." Stopping to laugh, it wasn't two seconds before Tiffany picked up talking again. "But yeah, they all seem cool."
"Last, and probably least is the Beavers. Like the Seagulls, I'mma keep this semi-short." Thinking for a minute, Tiffany recalled all of who she wanted to talk about, and continued. "Jay's on this team, so it's obviously going to be kickass; a team that'll probably do really awesome like... constantly. I'm hoping that the fact that Jay and Axl are seperated gets to both of them, and they both end up doing poorly. Just a thought. Cotton and Helena look like two who don't want to get a speck of dirt on either of their skirts, so they're obviously nothing to look out for. Serena looks like a freak; I'm going to keep an eye on her. Emilie... She seems kind of cool, which sucks because I hear she's really handy, which will definitely help her team at some point in the game. Now the guys..." She smiled widely, imagining the four of them, then continued. "Billy is adorable, but he seems innocent and I hear he's a gigantic nerd. The Pokemon-looking one's kinda cute, but also a little weird with the whole Pokemon-theme. There's a girl who I think might be a guy, but I'm not sure... Simon? If it's a guy, he's okay, but pretty dorky. If it's a girl... bleh. Whatever. I could care less. Now... Ashton? Aw! He's like... adorable! I haven't seen much of his temperament, but I hope he isn't shy. Noel? Oh. My. God. He is the hottest thing I've ever ******** seen! He's British for God's sake! I. Want. Him. And I intend to get him." She smiled sweetly, and shifted positions. She'd been sitting there for way too long.
"Last but not least is the staff. Chris is pretty good-looking, but he's a jerk so whatever. The Chef? A joke. He can't cook, threatens teenagers, is oblivious to stealing, and is super boring. But during his speech when he mentioned condoms? Hah. Who does he think he is? We knew this was coed before we even arrived; of course we packed condoms." With a sigh and a roll of her deep, blue eyes Tiffany stood to say goodbye. "Oh yeah!" Sitting back down, she started speaking about another of the staff. "I forgot about Scott! Seriously, how could I? He's pretty yummy. Hopefully he's not immune to flirting; I hope to try and get some information out of him in the future." With a big smile, Tiffany waved to the camera one last time. "I believe I'm done now! I'll keep you updated. This was Tiffany Moore from the Sharks team. Stay on your toes! Lots is bound to happen at a place like this." With one last wink she stood up and strutted out of the stall-like area. She felt a lot better speaking about everybody else, and decided to head back to the Sharks cabin and check how everyone was doing.
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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 2:18 pm
 Helena opened the door to the outhouse. It seems everywhere in this camp smelled retched and she crinkled her nose. Rather than sitting on the seat, she stood and bent over so the hole in the wall that was labeled "camera" could see her face."So umm Hi I'm Helena Rose... ummm I just want to say I'm looking forward to the rest of camp now...kind of.
It started out rather uncomfortably, what with my little mishap and all. I can't believe I embarrassed myself in front of the other campers like that! And our host! He does seem rather strange. Something odd about him. But he is awfully cute....there are quite a few cute boys here! Oh and Noel! He's so charming and foreign!" She said, holding her hands at her cheek and looking up dreamy eyed.
"I'm already making new friends here..I used to be homeschooled by my parents. And I was never let out alone. Always accompanied by a maid or butler. So I never had any friends.." she said wistfully, looking down."But now I'm getting quite a few! I do hope that after this whole ordeal is through, that we can somehow remain in touch. I don't think I want to go back to being so lonesome.
Hmmm...I'm confident we can win. We have some pretty determined audios in our group! We can do this!" she said grinning happily and she skipped out of the stall, almost tripping and running into the doorjam on the way out.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:14 pm
 Nigel cautiously opened the door of the outhouse, looking around the small room a little before walking in and closing the door behind him. The place smelt awful and he wasn’t convinced that it truly had been cleaned…like at any stage in its existence.
Forcing himself to sit down in front of the ‘camera here’ sign, Nigel raised his paw in a slight wave, “Hey. I’m Nigel and I’m an alcoholic…Just kidding!” he chuckled slightly at his own pun as he gazed around the stall, “Sooo, Camp Wawanakwa seems pretty ace. I can’t think of anything I would really complain about at this stage…oh, except for the food. Yeeeeaaahh, that chef guy seriously needs to get his act together on that…oh, which reminds me I need to talk to him about some vegetarian alternatives at some stage” at this voiced-aloud thought, Nigel shrugged, “My team seems pretty cool so far…mind you I haven’t really met them all yet so who knows!”
At this point, he leaned closer to the camera as if he was trying to see through it, “So are there like people on the other side of this right now to monitor what people do in ‘ere or wot? Big Brother?” he leaned even closer and tapped on the lens, “Big Brother, I’d like to vote out those sock puppets from last night. I mean what the ruddy heck was that about?!” and without another word, Nigel tipped his hat to the lens and made his way out of the stall.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 11:45 pm
 It was some minutes past midnight when the door to the confession room creaked open, the sound of crickets briefly flitting inside before Simon crept in, wearily plunking down. He hadn't really planned on coming here - the call of nature had heeded him to wake up and use a real bathroom, but a crumpled note found under his leg made him spike with nerves. Desperate for someone to talk to in order to calm down a bit, he'd eventually found himself staring into the unblinking gaze of this camera lens.
"I... I can't sleep," he mumble-whined, looking at the camera with flattened ears and pleading eyes.
And he sat there for several moments, wringing his hands and darting his gaze at nothing in particular.
He sighed after providing a couple of minutes of boring footage, slowly standing up and reaching to open the door.
"S-sorry, this was a dumb idea."
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:57 am
Where was that damn confessional cam... "Ah!" Finally spotting it, Axl made his way inside, making sure the door was closed tight before he took his seat, ignoring the smell.
"SOOO." He didn't know where to start, he was still riding on cloud 9. "I'm just gonna say it. JAY LIKES ME!" He was yelling, but that was okay. He was too excited to hold it in. "Christ on a stick, she likes me. And she kissed me! ON THE LIPS!" He did a little dance, and crooned a little song he'd made up on the spot. If there'd been any cats nearby they surely would have been shrieking up a storm at his terrible voice. It was certainly a good thing there wasn't--they would have waken up the entire camp.
"Oh, man. I've never felt this good in my life! Jay likes me, I made this totally awesome friend, Em, and I'm gonna be on TV! Like, I know the food sucks, and there's these challenges--come on, challenges, really? That means there's like supposed to be a team rivalry between me and Jay and that's just wrong!--and I think there's sharks in the water, either way, its gross, but dude! Its still reality TV, right? I'm gonna have groupies when I go home!"
He leaned over, getting his face close up to the camera. "CauseIdon'treallyalreadyhavegroupiesathome,causeI'mnotreallyarockstar. I mean, I have a band, yeah! But we haven't been discovered yet... I thought Audio Idol was going to be my ticket to fame, but that stupid judge doesn't know anything..." he growled, just seething as he remembered the judge's words. "This is the confessional can--oh s**t, I mean cam, cam!!--right? So I'm just gonna come out and confess, dude!"
"My name is Emmett. Not Axl. It's not Jagger, or Rotten. Its just plain Emmett. Axl Jagger Rotten is my stage name, I just piled a bunch of cool rock star names together. Can you figure it out? Axl Rose, Mick Jagger--Oh, it doesn't matter. The point is, I'm not a rock star. Not even close, really... But I wanna be one! I wanna be famous! I wanna be famous, and live in a big house with Jay and have lots of money!" He was giving a confirming nod of his head when something dawned on him. What would Jay do if she found out he wasn't a rock star?! What if she found out he had never even played a real ********! I hope the other campers don't get to see this! Jay would totally stop liking me if she knew!" Fretting and worrying, he leaped off the can and rushed out, heading for his cabin.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:46 am
Luna wandered in and immediately felt like throwing up. Deciding to breath through her mouth instead, she tip toed around to a semi clean spot. She didn't even bother sitting down.
Looking around, she spotted the camera. "Look, I'm going to keep this short, cause this is soooooo totally not my thing, but I gotta tell somebody!" she said as she took a deep breath....through her nose. BIG mistake.
"UHG!" she said, regaining her composure. "Ok so. Chris. Yeah. Hes totally hawt dudes." she said with a wink. "And that Nigel fella on my team? Yeah hes hawt too." she said, softly laughing at herself. "You know...... that sock puppet show....gave me some rather great ideas." she smirked, winked, hiked up her skirt, and high tailed it out of the stinky smelly s**t box.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:13 pm
Carmen trotted into the confessional cam. She looked around and tried not to remember her first visit to this little stand. It stilled smelled from the other day. Didn't anyone clean this thing out? Geez....
Instead of taking a seat, since she was still wearing her bikini, she just squatted a little to look at the camera. "Hi! Me again.. and, I promise before I leave.. I will totally make it up to whoever is watching this to make up for making you watch me take the worst s**t of my life."
So she flung her hair out and then to look in the camera with an expression that could mostly be explained as looked "keyed up". "Yeah. So, I just came back from jumping off that cliff. I had sharks at my feet, so while I'm there, Noel washes up. I tried to help that guy.. and all he's worried about is waiting for Em." Then there was some eye rolling.
"Well, all I have to say is that everyone from our team better do this! On the bright side, if our team loses... Well, I'll just say that I'm going to have to be proactive in getting to know the people I'd like to keep around and those I don't. Cuz, I plan on staying.. I hope I stay... I'd really like to play this thing out till then end... See how it goes... "
Before she got up to leave, she paused and cut her eyes to the camera. She acted like she was gonna flash the camera by lifting up her bikini top. Then she stopped and stuck her tongue out at the camera. "Syke!"
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:41 pm
 Alex hopped in and sniffed. "Eh, you hang with boys you get used to the smells...this is nothin I cant handle. If you guys wanna make somethin rank, you're gonna have ta do better than this!" She said with a laugh. "Anyway, its my first time in here so I'll introduce myself! Names Alex Bowyer!" She said with another laugh. "Hey Dom, Nicky, Tommy, and Mo!!" She said waving at the camera, or rather the sign that said camera. She then got a serioius look on her face, "If you boys value your lives, you will NOT taunt me when I get home on how I think there are a ton of hot guys here and I got stuck with a cabin full of girls...especially one girl who seems like a total floosy." She made the puking face with her paw. "Tiffany seems like the total girl our moms warned us about and more. Why in the world she is on my team NO CLUE, I just hope she can pull her weight and doesnt keep literally THROWING herself at every boy she sees. The boys on the team are all pretty hot, I think I have yet to meet one of em though." She took a breath then continued.
"Lucifer is pretty cool, seems like he likes to prank and joke, of course the guys back home know I love doin that. Promethius seems like the nice and shy type, hes cute too and I caught him reading a pretty thick book so he has gotta be smart. Marlo is one awesome lookin guy, by far one of the hottest I have ever seen. He definetly knows his way around a plate. Wonder if he's up to an eating contest?" Alex smirked at that thought and giggled. "The girls all seem pretty cool and smart too...all save for Tiffany but I dont know her that well yet soooo....yeah. Rosa seems like the rocker awesome type, a lot like Lucifer, the other girls not so much to her extent but still all cool. I cant wait to see what all this place has to offer, the food aint that bad, not that Ive seen anyway." She shrugged and sat back, then her stomach growled. "WELL! I think its time for dinner, check ya later peeps! AND YOU BOYS BETTER NOT MESS MY RIDE OR I'LL DETAIL YOUR BUTTS FROM HERE TO TORTUGA WHEN I GET BACK!" she said and threatened the last bit to the boys back home. She then smirked, "Check ya later!" With that, she left to grab some grub.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:10 am
Billy is seen panting with his face red and and sweaty.
"Those girls don't know what they are doing to me!" He said, wheezing it out. "I had to go take a long cold shower after listening to them for 2 minutes! I mean, I'm pretty sure those girls really weren't trying to... agitate me but I'm only one teenage boy! I can't handle THAT much innuendo! I mean, those girls need to see a pr0n video with lumberjacks or something! And one of them was still in her bikini! Too much!" He finished off with one of his eyes twitching.
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