The Magical Misadventures of Pat, Addy and Akky.
ONCE UPON A TIME, AKKY WAS TRALALAING THROUGH THE WOODS WITH HER PIGTAILS BOUNCING AND THE SUN KISSING HER ROSEY CHEEKS. HER EYES SPARKLED LIKE GLITTER PUFFY PAINT AND HER NOSE WAS CUTE AS CAN BE WITHOUT BEING CREEPY.
SHE CAME UPON A FLOWER. SHE SQUEALED WITH GLEE.
"OH HAPPY DAY! I HAVE FOUND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWER IN THE KINGDOM. TEE HEE!" SHE SAID WITH A HIGH PITCHED VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE A TAPE RECORDER ON DOUBLE SPEED.
SHE GIGGLED LIKE THE CUTE LITTLE CUPCAKE THAT SHE WAS AND BENT DOWN TO SNIFF THE FLOWER. SUDDENLY THE FLOWER ATE HER WHOLE! OH NO!
THE FLOWER BURPED WITH GLEE, BUT LITTLE SUSPECTED THAT IT'S MEAL HAD BEEN WITNESSED BY NONE OTHER THAN THE KINDLY LUMBERJACK, PAT, WHO LIVED IN A LOG CABIN ON A HILL WITH 40 CATS. MOOPSY, HIS OLDEST AND WISEST OF THE CATS ARCHED HER BACK AND HISSED!
"PAT! GOODNESS PAT! WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!" MOOPSY HISSED. PAT THREW HIS AXE OVER HIS SHOULDER LIKE THE STUDLY LUMBERJACK HE WAS AND GRINNED, HIS TEETH EMITTING A DAZZLING WHITE GLOW.
"DON'T WORRY MOOPSY! I KNOW JUST HOW TO HANDLE RUFFIAN FLORA! I WOULDN'T BE PAT THE CHARMING STUDLY LUJMBERJACK IF I DIDN'T!" HE ASSURED MOOPSY IN A BOOMING, DEEP MANLY VOICE.
PAT AND MOOPSY DASHED AS FAST AS THEIR LEGS COULD CARRY THEM TO THE CASTLE, WHERE THE PRINCE ADRYK WHO WAS REALLY THE PRINCESS BUT HATED WEARING PINK AND PURPLE LACE GOWNS WITH THAT STUPID DUNCE CAP LOOKING THING THAT HAD A SCARF ON THE END. HOW PASSE. ADRYK WAS COOLER THAN THAT, FOLKS. SHE WORE A STATELY DOUBLEBREASTED BLAZER AND AWESOME PANTS WITH BUCKLES.
"PRINCE ADRYK! A DARLING LITTLE CUPCAKE OF A GIRL WITH ROSEY CHEEKS, BOUNCING PIGTAILS AND SPARKLING EYES HAS BEEN EATEN BY A ROGUE FLOWER." HE SAID
"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" PRINCE ADRYK SHOUTED AND STOOD UP FROM HER THRONE. "I WILL SEE TO IT THAT THIS DARLING CUPCAKE GIRL IS FREE FROM HER FLOWERY STOMACH PRISON!"
ADRYK GOT HER TRUSTY STEEL GRAY STALLION NAMED FLOPZOR AND HER SWORD THAT WAS MADE FOR HER BY THE FINEST METALSMITH WIZARD IN THE LAND. IT WAS HUGE WITH LARGE OPALS AND SAPPHIRES EMBEDDED IN THE BLADE AND IT HAD A BUILT IN GPS TRACKER BECAUSE ADRYK'S STUNNING STALLION WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY RETARDED AND GOT THEM BOTH LOST AT THE BOTTOM OF A LAKE ONCE.
AND SO THE DUO HEADED OUT! PAT THE LUMBERJACK RUNNING SWIFTLY WITH BULGING MUSCLES GLISTENING IN THE SUN UNDER HIS RED PLAID FLANNEL SHIRT. ADRYK RODE WITH HER SWORD DRAWN AND HELD ALOFT BECAUSE IT LOOKED MORE AWESOME THAN NOT. MOOPSY HELD ON FOR DEAR LIFE AS PAT RAN.
THEY BOTH STOPPED IN FRONT OF THE FLOWER. INDEED IT WAS A PRETTY FLOWER WITH A HAPPY FACE RIGHT IN THE CENTER AND A SCENT OF BUBBLE GUM!
"BE THIS THE NAVE FLOWER THAT ATE THE CUTE YOUNG GIRL?" PRINCE ADRYK ASKED AND TOSSED HER HEAD.
"IT BE! IT BE!" PAT SAID AND WATCHED WITH TRIUMPH ANS ADRYK WALKED OVER AND HACKED THE FLOWER TO BITS.
"BAD FLOWER! NO EATING CUTE GIRLS WITH ROSEY CHEEKS AND BOUNCING HAIR!"
"ACK!" SCREAMED THE DEFENSELESS FLOWER AS IT DIED AND COUGHED UP AKKY WHOLE.
"ICKY POO STICKY!" AKKY SAID AND FLICKED A SPECK OF FLOWER STOMACH GOO OFF HER HAND.
"THANK WONDERS YOU ARE SAFE!" PAT SAID.
"nEighhh duRR" SAID FLOPZOR.
THEN THEY ALL SKIPPED OFF INTO THE SUNSET TOGETHER AS A METEOR FELL ON ALL OF THIER HEADS.
THE END.
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