A short poem I wrote about a (former) friend...

[Surasaya]

I wrote this in the spur of the moment after a conversation with someone I used to be fond of. It's not great, or entirely original, and it needs some editing, but I thought it would be fun to share. Thanks!

Dead to Me

It’s a heavy burden I bear

Trying to make you care


When you can’t see the light

How can I make you fight?


With every glance backwards

As I keep moving, always forward


I try to reach you

And explain

That you’ve created

Your own chains


But you can’t seem to hear

Through the sheer

Curtain you won’t see through


You’ve quit living life

So I’m leaving you behind

Come back to me if you ever change your mind

 

[Phenom_85]

I dont' see any reason to edit it at all, that was very well written  

[The Mysterious Gunslinger]

Makes me think of someone, at least some of the portions do. And it is better than anything I could ever write.

Then again, I don't know how to write poetry or anything about it.

 

[BB Rue Ryuzaki]

Not bad.  

[UC Poika]

Your rhyme is good not because I like to rhyme like that any longer, at least its not strained, or forced. Good job. It makes me think of some people I know too.