Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hello there! I'm new in the guild, but I saw this sub-forum and it popped out at me. I've been rewriting a story for a friend over last couple of years (turning it from script form to novel form) but I haven't really had a whole lot of exposure to people who are willing to read stuff and help check it for me, so I would be forever grateful if you guys could offer some feedback. Thanks! Don't be intimidated by the length! Feel free to comment chapter by chapter! The original is actually incredibly terrible (freely admitted from the author). It's not even worth looking at unless you want to give yourself an epileptic seizure. But here's the rewrite. The original author also based the characters off of people he knew, which I find can be confusing if you are an outside reader, so please let me know if I satisfactorily avoided that issue. Keep in mind that Gaia sort of f's up the format a little bit when I paste it in, so I've done my best to fix that up a little. I'm looking for help on any and all typo/grammatical errors, suggestions, positive/negative feedback, plot holes, and anything in between. Thanks again! And at last, here it is...

Prologue

My life is strange. Perhaps that’s a bit of an understatement. My life is the most unusually, peculiar, and outlandish bit of weirdness I’d be willing to bet anyone has ever thought of. Sometimes I wish what I have written down here wasn't real, but it is. Or at least it’s as real as the words in front of you right now, and perhaps even more real than them. It wasn’t always that way of course. Well, I guess it was, but it didn’t seem like that. Earth seemed like such a big place, once upon a time. Back in high school, things seemed pretty normal, for the most part. My name is Nick. I won’t tell you my full name, there’s no need, names really aren’t important. But what’s happening to the worlds is... and so is this story. So pay very, very close attention.

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Chapter 1

James Melton hit the alarm clock as hard as he could, in the hopes that it might break. Opening one sleepy eye, he glanced at the calendar on his wall. September 10th, 2006, the first day of school. James groaned as he rolled from the bed, taking the blanket with him. First day of freshman year. He thought to himself. Big whoop... Now I’m officially the scum of the universe.

James threw on some clothes before he made his way through the single story house to the kitchen. It smelt of burnt toast and cigarette smoke, but he was used to it. As he poured himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk, James’ stepmother and stepsister came sauntering into the room. “Are you ready for school?” James’ stepmother asked him, in an accusing tone.

“Yes, maam.” James mumbled back, making his way over to the kitchen table. Taking a seat James began to eat. The sugary taste of the cereal helped him to wake up, slightly. James had never liked his stepmother. In his opinion she was dirty, rude, ugly, a control freak, and to him the very epitome of evil. Frankly, I agreed with him.

She looked at James sideways. “Harrumph! Well, fine. You can do whatever you want until it’s time to leave,” she grumbled, spitting into the kitchen trash can.
James looked up, a malevolent smile playing across his features, “When you say whatever...”

His stepmother whirled around, “You know what I mean!” She shouted at him, James’ innocent jest shot down.

James dropped his head back to his cereal. “Yes maam...” he replied gloomily.

“James!” his stepsister shouted at him. She had an annoying tendency to do this when she was right in people’s faces, and at 7:10 in the morning, the noise wasn’t exactly agreeing with James. “You took my calculator, didn’t you?” she said, pointing an accusing finger.

James sighed, “No, Ashley. I did not take your calculator...” he replied in a bored tone as he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the oncoming headache.

“You did too! I know it! I had it on my desk last night, ready for the first day of school, and now it’s not there! Who else would have taken it, huh?” she snapped.

“Look! I didn’t take your stupid calculator, all right?! Besides, anyone with half a brain would know that we won’t need a calculator on the first day of school!” James shouted back.

“James!” His stepmom yelled. “Don’t shout at your sister!”

James grumbled and grabbed his book bag, which he had laid by the door the night before. “I’m out of here. See you when I get back from school.” he grumbled, as he lurched for the door.

It was a bright, warm morning, not typical of the time of season. About twenty minutes later, James was still waiting for the bus. It was already five minutes late and he was beginning to feel like it was just going to be one of those days.

James talked to himself as he waited impatiently for the bus. “Yup, this is my life. A boring piece of--” At that precise moment, James happened to notice the sharp gleam out of the upper corner of his eye.

Now, I don’t know quite what the odds of the meteor going to the exact location that James Melton was standing in were. And I don’t know what the odds of him happening to look up and move out of its way before it resulted in a trip to the emergency room were. And I certainly don’t know what the odds were of him figuring out just how significant that piece of alien rock was. But I do know, that they couldn’t have been very good, and it could only have been destiny that made this series of strange events come to pass.

He gave a start as he dived to the side, as the ground exploded in a shower of dirt.

“Wha- what was? I just! G-god…” James stuttered, apparently incapable of creating comprehendible sentences.

Despite his momentary shock, James eventually managed to get to his feet and brush himself off. Cautiously he made his way over to the minor crater in the ground, and hesitantly peered into it. Inside, James found the shiniest stone he had ever seen, its silvery coat gleamed in the early morning sun. As he touched it with his finger, he gave out a yelp of pain. It was hot enough to boil water. Looking around, James grabbed a stick, and carefully pried the rock away from the indent it had made in the ground, and rolled it into a shallow puddle on the roadside. There was a hissing sound, and the puddle went up in steam. James reached down a second time and poked the alien rock gingerly. It was cool enough to touch, and he picked it up from the roadside. Examining it more closely, he noticed that the rock was more than smooth, it was faultless. It was a seemingly perfect sphere.

James heard the recognizable sound of the bus as it approached and he stuck the mysterious stone in his pocket.

Chapter 3

Kenny Kirk was staring the vixen lady straight in the eyes. How he’d gotten there, he didn’t know, but it wasn’t important. The beautiful half-fox half-woman creature rose out of the pool she had been bathing in and slowly walked towards him, almost hypnotically. Placing her hand on his face, she gently brushed his lips as she leaned in closer to him. Kenny gladly received the touch, feeling the warmth of her hands and her breath. If only it weren’t for that annoying ringing sound… Ringing sound?

Kenny opened his eyes. The alarm on the cell phone was still buzzing as he gazed confusedly at it. “Oh… school just had to start today…” Kenny managed to mumble to himself as he quickly switched off the alarm.

Taking a look around the room, he made sure that all was silent. The overhead fan on the short ceiling of his bedroom was still making a whirring sound as it moved the stale air around the room. Kenny sighed and quietly threw off the covers and pulled out the day’s cloths from the dresser that took up nearly a quarter of his small room. The bed took up another half, and in the corner was a very small desk on which sat an HP model PC.

Kenny opened the door to his bedroom and made a quick examination of the short hallway belonging to the Aquarius trailer that was his home. His mother’s snores were audible from the end of the hallway, and Madie, Kenny’s little sister, could be heard tossing and turning in her early morning sleep.

Kenny had always been a morning person, something I envied him for. On the other hand, that was about the only thing I envied him for. The poor kid didn’t have it easy. Kenny’s parents had been divorced for quite some time now, and living at his mother’s place ninety percent of the time wasn’t easy. She tended to switch jobs as quickly as she switched boyfriends, and she usually chewed through them like candy… For all intents and purposes, Kenny’s mom was an all American failure. What made the situation so sad was that Kenny was a true gift to the world. He was an artist born into the freakish hell of the white trash trailer hood.

Kenny put some bread in the toaster, and waited for it to turn a golden-brown. The smell of cigarette smoke was quite potent on the inside of the entire trailer, which wasn’t so incomprehensible given the fact that his mother was a bit of an addict, but Kenny was so used to it, he didn’t even smell it anymore. Or so he said. It may have been that his sense of smell was actually completely killed after all the time he’d spent around the poor little trailer.

The toast popped, and Kenny made a grab for it while it was still in mid-air, catching it in his hand. Without putting anything on it, he wolfed down the bread and, grabbing his backpack along the way, made for the door. He had nearly gotten out when his mother’s all too well recognized tone was heard from the back of the trailer, “Kenny! Did you take the garbage out?!” She demanded.
The groan from Kenny’s mouth couldn’t be suppressed. ‘How does she do that?’ Kenny thought to himself as he pondered the mysterious powers that mothers seemed to hold.

“Uh… I was just doing that mom!” Kenny shouted back.

“Don’t lie to your mother!” Came the retort.

“I didn’t! I was…” Kenny paused and headed back to the trashcan, taking the bag out of it. “Okay! I got it. I’m going now. Bye.”

“Alright.” Came the response.

“I love you.” Kenny said softly.

A grunt of confirmation came from his mother’s room as he stepped out of the trailer.

Kenny now glumly made his way out of the door, and put the garbage at the pickup. Making for his bike, he kicked up the stand, shouldered his backpack, and pushed off as he began peddling toward the first day back at school.

Chapter 5

James Melton left the mess hall, rounding the corner to the stairs. “Uh… where do I go?” He whispered to himself, glancing at the new schedule he had been issued about a week ago. It was already slightly crumpled. Grabbing a nearby senior by the arm, he began to ask for directions but before the second word got out, the older boy brushed him off and replied with a rude, “Find it yourself, I’ve gotta get to class.”

James, in desperation, pulled out the planner that all students had been issued at the beginning of the year. Inside the front cover was a map, which looked like a volunteer student had hurriedly drawn it one day over the summer as an after thought to the planner. It was virtually useless. It hadn’t helped, of course, that the school didn’t hold an open house of any sort before the semester had started, so James wasn’t the only freshman helplessly wondering the halls.
In a last futile attempt to get directions before he lost his mind and ran screaming down the halls, James said out loud in a rather panicked voice, “Does any body know where the French room is?!”

Luckily for him, James had caught someone’s attention with his display of dread. A rather attractive someone, I might add, who happened to already be the desire of half the boys in school. Diane Jouin was the current French foreign exchange student at our school, and she was tres magnifiké, if you know what I mean.

“Ah, ze French room?”

James’ back stiffened as he heard the thick French accent directed at him.

“Er… y-yeah.” He managed to stutter as he turned around to face the girl.

She must have been at least a head taller than he was, but then again, she was a senior this year, whereas James was a “mere freshman”.

“You are taking French, no?” She asked.

“Um… That’s right. Er… do you know where the classroom is?” James was still stumbling over his words. Just the sight of her had sent the young boy’s mind reeling, and probably not in a good way.

“Oui, oui monsieur! Follow me, se vous ples.” She giggled in her cute, high-pitched voice as she grabbed James’ arm, which had been hanging limply at his side, and began to drag him off to the French room. “I’m very glad to zee zat more peoples are taking ze French course. So many people dezided zey liked Spaneesh!” Diane declared to James as they made their way down the hallway.

I may as well note now that James was not what anyone would call a lady’s man. Sure, he wasn’t piss ugly, but he wasn’t exactly smooth around the gender of the opposite persuasion. So the fact that the most sought after girl in the school was now dragging him along behind her was a very nerve wracking experience the poor hormone stimulated teenager. Luckily for him, the French room hadn’t been far.

“Oh, Mr. Cohooooon!” Diane said in a singsong voice as she entered the classroom. A dark haired man wearing round rim glasses looked up from his desk.

“Oh, hello Diane. Who’s this?” Mr. Cohoon asked. The teacher had a kind face, and was perhaps just a little bit on the chubby side, but clean-shaven and young looking.

“I-I’m James.” The freshman managed to spit out. “I just started!”

Mr. Cohoon looked at the clock just as the bell to begin class rang.

“Well, take a seat James. Glad you could join us. Diane here is this year’s student teacher.” Mr. Cohoon explained.

“Oh. That’s cool…” James said looking at those already in the room. By the looks of it, there were only seven other class members, all freshmen. James guessed the Spanish class was overflowing.

James took his seat and the introductions began. It was just like it had always been. Mr. Cohoon wrote his name on the board and explained what the French I class would be doing this year. James couldn’t concentrate, though. His hand kept going to the pocket that had the strange space rock in it. He would occasionally run his finger over the flawlessly smooth surface of the orb.

“And near Spring Break, you will be given the opportunity to actually visit France!”

This caught James’ attention and he straightened up in his seat instantly. Mr. Cohoon continued to explain, “It will be a two week tour for anyone who wishes to go.” Mr. Cohoon began to pass out pamphlets with information on them. “This is completely voluntary, and is something we do every other year. We’ll do a lot of sight seeing, but it’s meant to be a valuable learning experience as well.”

James glanced at the paper. This was cool! A foreign country? A chance to get out of the hellhole that was known as this pathetic, backwater town? Even as a small reprise, it sounded nice. It sounded like an adventure. It could be just like out of one the fantasy titles on the Border’s bookshelf. All dreams of adventure evaporated from James’ mind, however, when he looked at the bottom line. All students would be charged $5,500 for transport, food, and extraneous expenses. James groaned. He knew his stepmother would never give him that kind of money, even for an educational experience.

The twenty-minute period ended soon enough, and students had another five minutes to change classes. Before James could leave the room, Diane grabbed his arm for a second time.

“James? I’m glad you dezided to join ze French class. Do you ‘ave much experienze vith it?” She asked him.

“Yeah! Er… that is. I started practicing a little over the summer. You know. I was pretty excited to learn such a cool language.” James shrugged, trying to look cool.

Diane clapped her hands together. “Zis is brilliant! I am glad zat you ‘ave such an interest in ze language. Vait one moment.” She said, winking as she began to write something down on a piece of paper. When she was done, she handed it to James.

“What’s this?” James asked, reading the paper.

“Zat is my little zister’s inztant mezage name! She iz over in France at ze moment. She’s very lonely, I hear from Mama. I ‘ad ‘oped you could zay hello to ‘er? She speaks better English zan I do, I promise!” Diane giggled.

“Your English is great!” James reassured her. “But, I’d be happy to drop her a line. You know, I was thinking about going on that trip. Maybe I could get a little preview.” James lied.

Diane gasped, “Truly? Zat vould be superb!” She exclaimed. “It iz so refreshing to meet somvone as interested in ze culter as you, James.” Diane said, batting her long eyelashes. “Vell, I shall let you get to your next class zen. Au revoir!” She gushed.

James was left a little light headed as he watched her run off. Smiling dumbly, he looked up at the clock. One minute, and he had no idea where his next class was.
“…Crap.” He said, smile drooping.

Chapter 7

“So, you’re back, huh?” James’ stepmother noted as he pushed the screen door open. Her tone hinted that she had hoped otherwise.

James nodded happily as he continued inside. He wasn’t going to let his stepmother’s incessant nagging fowl his good mood.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she demanded.

“My room. First day homework.” James explained.

“Oh no you’re not.” she informed him.

“I’m not?”

“No, I need you to clean up the kitchen before you do anything.”

James’ eyes widened. The kitchen was a disaster zone. “The Great Wall of China” as it were. Plates stacked to the ceiling and unidentifiable food matter ground into the dishes, silverware, and counters making them almost impossible to clean. And anyway, it was her mess, not his, so why did he have to clean it up?! James was outraged, but he managed to calmly ask, “Are you goin’ somewhere?”
His stepmother grunted in affirmation. “Bingo. Be back at seven.” she replied, stepping out of the door.

James gritted his teeth and looked toward the horribly messy kitchen. It was worse looking than he had remembered.

“Screw that!” he yelled to himself as he stormed into his room, throwing his backpack hard against the bed before remembering that his precious stone was inside. Quickly he went over to it, taking it out of the backpack. It was unscathed. James breathed a sigh of relief. Now, where could he put it so that his younger siblings, and the older one for that matter, wouldn’t mess with it? James looked around and shrugged. Nobody else should be home for about an hour, so he had plenty of time to decide. Normally, Ashley would get home at the same time as him, but she had said she was doing something with friends after school. James silently thanked the gods for the small reprise of silence around the house. Well, there was no use putting it off any longer. He would have to have the kitchen cleaned before his stepmother got home or she would flip s**t. Sighing, he got up from the bed stretched.

Now, for no reason in particular, perhaps it was the experiencing of his first French class today, or maybe some unseen divine influence came over James and told him to do this, but instead of cursing silently to himself in English, he muttered the word, “Merde…” the French equivalent to the word “s**t”. James thought he heard a crackling sound behind him where the stone was so he spun around to see. The stone was sitting just where he had left it. He shrugged and headed back out of his room toward the kitchen.

James froze. He was just outside the kitchen… the perfectly clean, spotless, odorless, and absolutely sparkling kitchen. Very slowly James backed up into his room without taking his eyes off of the kitchen. He lay down on his bed, put a hand on his forehead, decided it felt a little warm, and closed his eyes.

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I was listening to the dull sound of the wind whistling around the closed car as I drove home. It was a much more relaxing drive than it had been on the way in that morning. I glanced quickly down to the paper sitting in my passenger seat.
“France, huh?” I thought to myself. I’d been taking the course for three years now, but I still wasn’t any good at it. This trip though… I’d passed up the option of going my freshman year, but I’d heard good things from the people who went. I supposed it would be a good opportunity for me to brush up on the language. I’d have to look into it.

Upon arriving home I called out to see if my parents were around. There was no reply, so I went on inside. I placed the French trip papers on the couch and grabbed a pop from the pantry.

“Awesome.” I thought to myself. “No homework.”

Taking a sip from the soda, I flicked on my Xbox and proceeded to blast the hell out of the virtual aliens on my screen. Yessir, it didn’t get any better than this – with the exception of not having school tomorrow.

After a few hours mind numbing virtual murder, I heard my parents pull up in the driveway. Flicking off the game counsel I stepped outside to greet them.

“Hey Nick!” my dad said cheerfully. My friends always told me the same thing about my dad. Whenever they first met him they had all been scared to death by his scruffy big guy look; once they got to him though, they all agreed that, “Dude, your dad is awesome.” I liked to think so too. He had a scruffy grey and black beard, wore glasses sometimes, and still ran marathons. For a sixty year old, he was in really fit shape.

“Come help us carry groceries in, Nick.” my mother called.

Shrugging, I replied with a, “Kay,” and went to unload the car’s trunk.

My mother picked up the papers I had discarded on the sofa and examined them as I brought the groceries into the kitchen.

“What this?” she asked in a cheerful tone. She read it over. “Oh, did you have any interest in the trip this year, Nick?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I was thinking it would be pretty cool if I could go this year.”

“I think we can do that…” she said, glancing at the bottom line of the paper with the price on it. “I’ll talk to your father about it.” she told me, folding the paper up.

“Okay, cool. No rush or anything.” I replied.

“So how was the first day of school?” she asked. This was the ultimate mother question. Every day after this I was sure she would ask, “So, how was school?”

“Fine.” I said, countering with the ultimate teenage response.

She nodded and I excused myself upstairs to my room, passing the old mirror on the way up the stairs I glanced at my reflection for minute. ‘Man…’ I thought. ‘Why are there so many other people just like me in the world? What chance do I have of making a difference in the world? Why even bother trying? It’s not like anything is actually helping you out…’

“What am I talking about?” I said aloud, realizing that I had no idea what I was even thinking, or why I was thinking it. Shrugging off the thought I proceeded to my room and picked up the phone line.

‘I wonder if James is thinking about the French trip…’

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The ringing filled James’ ears causing him to open his eyes and blink. He mechanically got out of bed and made for the phone, avoiding glancing at the kitchen on the way.

“Hello?” he said into the phone.

“James?” I replied.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Not much, you sound tired. Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, I was just taking a nap. I needed to get up anyway.”

“Cool. Anything interesting happen after lunch?”

“Uhh…” James tilted his head toward the still sparkling kitchen and immediately turned back. “Nope. Everything’s normal… really, really normal.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” I asked. The tone in his voice had seemed a bit freaked out.

“Huh? Oh. Nothing. So, yeah. Um…”

“Hey listen.” I said breaking into James awkward stuttering. “I think I’m going on the French trip this year. Are you thinking about going?” I asked, and James’ attention seemed to shift to the conversation.

“Ha! Are you kidding? My parents couldn’t afford that trip in a million y-…” he trailed off. “Unless…” he pondered.

“What?” I asked, curious as to whether or not James had actually had a sudden epiphany.

“Well, it’s a long shot,” he admitted, “so I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ll tell you later. I’ve gotta check on something, okay?”

“Well, all right. I’ll talk to you later then.”

“See ya.” James said, hanging up the phone.

James took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After meditating for a moment he opened his eyes and peeked around the corner at the kitchen. It was still sparkling clean. As he had expected, he wasn’t hallucinating. Stepping in, he looked around. Even the ceiling had been dusted. James ran a finger over the counter creating a sound of squeaky cleanliness.

“Wow…” he muttered. “How on Earth…?” the kitchen didn’t even have the smoky cigarette smell that lingered around the rest of the house.

“Alright…” James began to talk to himself. “The kitchen cleaned itself. So what? Makes it easy for me, right?” he laughed nervously to himself.

“This is cool, right?” the thought of what his stepmother’s face would look like when she saw this entered his mind and he grinned.

James was still coming to grips with what had happened, but he didn’t have a problem with it, that was for sure. He had to check something. He went back to his room and shuffled through the cluttered closet. He flung aside old junk and several items that he had thought long lost. James finally came across what he was looking for. He pulled the tin from below a pile of dirty cloths and unlocked it. He opened it and looked over the contents. He grinned. “Yeah, this might be enough…” he mumbled to himself. He placed the tin on his bed and went back to the kitchen. He shook his head as he looked over it one more time. James decided to pass it off as an amazing paranormal coincidence. He went back to his room and opened his French book, going over some vocabulary.


It was about an hour later when James’ stepmother finally got home, his screaming younger siblings, Robbey: fourteen years old, Calley: three, and Cassey: five, and whining older one, Ashley, coming in with her. James assumed she had picked them up on her way back. The first thing she did was come looking for James. She passed the kitchen without looking at, and burst into his room.

“So, I guess you got the kitchen cleaned, since you’re working on your school work, huh?” her tone suggested that she had absolutely no faith that he had cleaned the kitchen.

James smiled to himself, not taking his eyes off of his French book. “Yes ma’am.”

“James, look at me when I’m… uh, wait, you did?” she seemed confused. “Well, I’ll be the judge of that.”

James shrugged. “A’right. I’ll show you, I guess.” James tried to sound casual.
Upon stepping out of his room, James could see his little brother in front of the kitchen, his mouth just hanging open. James grinned.

His stepmother came to the kitchen entrance. James thought her eyes might pop right out of her skull they were bugging out so much.

“That’s…” she began to say, but she regained her composer almost instantly.
“Good… job,” she forced herself to say. “Well, I guess you’d better go work on your homework. Go on, get to it.”

The grin slipped right off of James’ face. That was it? Come on!
“Well, go on! I swear, if your high school grades are as low as your middle school ones by midterm, I’ll ground you for the rest of the year.”

James could do nothing but give her a mortified look before turning on his heel and storming back to his room. What the hell was that, huh? She couldn’t even manage a thank you? James couldn’t believe it. He had known since day one that his stepmother had a stick up her a**, but cleaning the kitchen to look like that was a superhuman feat!

Sighing, James picked up the meteor and ran his hands over the smooth surface. “Ugh, she makes me so angry…” he muttered to himself. “What on Earth happened to that kitchen anyway? You don’t know, do you?”
Wait…. James stopped himself and looked at the rock. Had he just asked it a question? He put the meteor on his bedside table. “I’m going insane,” he stated simply. He looked back at his French book. He really didn’t feel like finishing it right now… James stuck his hand in his pants pocket and something crunched against his knuckles.

“Huh?”

He pulled the paper out and unwrinkled it.
“Oh yeah!” he exclaimed, grabbing up his French book and flicking on his computer; an old, old model that he had only very recently upgraded from Windows Millennium Edition. What a strange day this had been. He had almost forgotten about the instant message address in his pocket.


Meanwhile, on the opposite end of the county, I had just sat down to my computer when a feeling of extreme discomfort overtook me. I can’t recollect why, but for some reason I had gotten a feeling that not to long from now, things were going to get very, very strange…

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