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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 1:42 pm
I started this topic as there was a rather good discussion happening over on the thread "Antique Manners" on this subject. At this point, I believe it deserves it's own thread. smile
I'm unsure of any other time except in Victorian England, but with some fashions from other eras, I'm assuming it's true for other eras/other countries.
A Victorian lady would dress to cover. She might not have a high collar, but aside from her hands and face, her body would be covered. In other era's, maybe the neckline or shoulders would be shown. Again, however, little else would be seen.
If a lady showed any thing more, it would be inviting attention that was considered inappropriate or distasteful. Only the "unfortunates" (what the papers and polite society called the prostitutes) would wear revealing clothing and that was because it was their trade. Even then, it was distasteful.
Lhuv-Kerapht and I were discussing the attitude many people have about clothing which is a very valid point.
The less clothing you wear, the more attention--sexual or social--you will get. The more clothing you wear, the less attention you recieve.
I worked in a retail store and I couldn't believe what little some people will wear. I understand it's the summer, but you're in public! A head bandana (like renegades wear in Western films when they rob a bank) does not count as a shirt. A bikini and wrap stays at the beach. A jean vest should be zipped all the way up so other's don't see your bra and if it's too small, wear a shirt under it. College students who wear shorts that barely cover the tops of their thighs (not to mid thigh, mind). Some of these examples weren't just the younger generation; some of them could have been my mother's age.
Many of us on here I've found are very conservative on this subject so we may just be in the minority, but I think it something people should pay more attention to.
Lhuv-Kerapht made another good point. If you wear less revealing clothing, people don't really try to socialize with you. I've recieved a lot of advice over the years, telling me to try on clothes that are more in style, which show a lot more skin than I'm comfortable with, and it's not something I would want to do.
I think another good point is that if we enter relationships based on sexual appeal or who isn't wearing actual clothes, how solid are the relationships? It seems a very shallow way of judging people.
So, who else wants to weigh in on this?
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 2:39 pm
I already posted on the other one, but I agree. People are more prone to ignore or avoid you if you wear conservative clothing. People should interact with you based on how you act, not the type of clothes you wear. One girl I know bought me an extreamly revieling dress and a thong, and told be I should were them because they are "cute", and more guys would pay attention to me. She also tried to convince me to wear clothes that revealed way too much cleavage. Call me old fashion, but I felt discusted by her telling me to do this. I am not willing to sacrifice my dignity for the sake of some shallow guy, and if he doesn't like me because of that or doesn't want to take the time to get to know me then that is his problem.
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 2:47 pm
A very astute assessment! biggrin
On the dress and thong: shock and horror! Purely boudoir material, that! Yikes.... And you're absolutely right. Any guy who would think ill of you for not debasing yourself for his jollies is the one with the problem. I've never understood why people would sacrifice so much of themselves and their dignity, just to get all the wrong sorts of attention.
I do think that we, as a society, should dress at least a bit more conservatively. In winter, it is simply impractical, and the rest of the time - well, frankly, I don't think it's very respectful of others for people to go out with their everlovin's hanging out, be that what it may. Everything else aside, it sets a wretched example for small children. Kids always look upon their elders with admiration. They want to be them someday, and impatience to get there faster can lead to problems. Kids look forward with eager expectation to the time when they're all grown up, and get to do the stuff adults do. Good parents know where to set the limits, but increasingly, a number of parents are expressing indignation at how difficult it's becoming anymore to find age-appropriate clothing for their little girls. There are girls as young as 5 or 6 capering about in clothing once seen on older teens and collegiates who wanted to look as sexy as they could look to get attention, or in fashions once relegated to the exotic dancer set. On a pre-pubescent child, this is utterly disgusting, and for my money, I can't imagine why such a thing would be remotely persmissable, let alone allowed to become the standard of dress, such as is suggested by the state of the clothing market. Some parents are sewing clothing for their kids just to protect them from the ogling that results from wearing revealing clothing. And people wonder why there's such an upward spike in the instances of child exploitation, illegal photos and videos and the kinds of sick, predatory behavior that shows up on Dateline. To me, it seems obvious. Stop dressing little girls like streetwalkers and maybe people won't feel so encouraged to look at them like objects of sexual fantasy. If society starts dressing more conservatively on the whole, kids are less likely to aspire to traipsing around in such blatantly inappropriate attire, making it easier to set appropriate limits. And the rest of us don't have to deal with the visual assault created by all the older people who think it's okay to leave their homes as undressed as the castaways on "Survivor." There are plenty of things a person can wear to stay cool in the summer, while still looking quite presentable. I get tons of catalogues filled with tons of perfectly fine examples. I wonder if these people get those catalogues....
I saw a letter to the editor in yesterday's paper that really goes in with this sort of thing. An older woman was rather upset at having seen an increasing number of people out at the grocery store, arrayed in things like a set of degenerate, hole-ridden pajamas and bedroom slippers, and wondered if we'll be seeing hospital gowns next. Time was, a person who appeared in public undressed like that would be thought mentally ill and committed to the local psychiatric hospital for it, as it is so terribly inappropriate and perhaps indicative of a fundamental disconnect from reality.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:17 am
One thing I found disturbing when I was in middle/high school was how the girls in revealing clothing were treated versus the girls who actually stuck to the dress code. The girls who dressed in skimpy tops and shorts that would be better classified as belts did not even get so much as a warning. On the other hand, the girls who tried to do right constantly got in trouble for the smallest things. I got into trouble once because my shorts were about a fourth of an inch above my middle finger when at my sides. Now, I have long arms and my middle finger hits right above my knees. It's so hard to find long shorts in this day and age, so I had to make due. I think schools should go back to what they did up until the 70s, which was measure with a ruler how far above the knees a skirt was. That would be way more fair to us long armed gals.
As for attire in public/around, I hate the new "my pajamas are my clothes!" trend. I want to cry when I see people wearing their jammies outside. Then I wonder what made them think bear claw slippers are proper for walking in environments full of nails, needles, and broken glass. Really, that's just asking for tetanus. Also, the guys wearing pants so large you can see their undies is appaling. I don't want to see random guy's underwear. It's called underwear for a reason, people. I'm thankful that the city I live near has started to arrest people who have their boxers showing. XD
One thing I live by is something I saw in the rules and guidelines for a local anime convention:
"If your grandmother wouldn't approve, don't wear it."
That's really something everyone should consider.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:10 pm
I used to work 2nd shift at a retail store and we had some one come into the store with his entire pajama outfit on. Slippers, sleep pants, t-shirt, and house robe. Honest to the Goddess, he was wearing it. How is that okay? Do you just get lazy and roll out of bed the moment before going out? I'd have gotten a kick in my butt if I had tried that.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:11 pm
I've always been one for modest clothing. The most revealing I've ever gotten in public is when I was square dancing with my parents when I was a teenager. The skirts fly up, which is why they make fancy "petty pants" to go under the petty coat. No, I was not comfortable, but I had fun when I could find a partner. (Which is hard when your a single teen and most men are looking for an adult lady to dance with.)
I've been critizied for my style, but I have never cared. I don't like to reveal what only my husband/boyfriend should know I have. I like the classic styles where nothing above my knees shows and little of my chest shows. (Back to the knees, I have nice legs and don't mind flaunting them sometimes, but only in good taste.
The dress my avitar is wearing probably won't change much as this is what I would love to dress in most of the time! However, in real life, I would have to have my shoulders covered. Hmmmmmm, maybe I should look for a shawl or cape for my avitar.......
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:44 pm
People need to realize that there is a time and a place for everything. I own my fair share of short skirts (cut mid thigh but nothing too extreme) but I only wear them to concerts or when I'm out with my close friends. Those who falunt their decolletage during the day and especially very public places such as schools are out of their mind. There is good attention and bad; having people staring at you because certain body parts are peeking out is not quite the attention that a person should want. I'm not about to propose that everyone should cover themselves from shoulders to ankles but people should dress more appropriately for where they are going. The world is not a trashy bar and no one wants to see the outfits that you use to pick up sleezy dudes.
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 9:49 am
I dress rather modestly. I'll wear shorts but nothing too short. Occasionally I'll wear semi-tight tops but for the most part I'm nicely dressed.
There's only been a few times where I've worn clothes that have been a bit more revealing and those were mostly costumes for the Ren. Faire or various conventions.
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 1:03 pm
I am a pretty modest dresser, and I hate when people dress scantily. I work at a clothing store, and yesterday I saw this girl in a skirt super short and had a slip so far up you could practically see her hoohaa.
I love skirts, but unfortunately, my legs are so long, skirts that should be knee length end up being mid-thigh length. So I wear tights under them. I also really love the look of school uniform skirts, but the only pleated skirts they make outside of school are butt length, so i made one for myself that was knee length, and I love it heart
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:47 am
And about a quarter of the girls who wear the tighter, more revealing clothing are the ones who complain when a man stares at her body or says something rude.
Yes, men need to learn to not say something like that, but girls need to learn that if they dress a certain way, they will get attention they may not want.
I hate when I hear girls complain about something like that.
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:01 pm
I hate it hn girls walk around in those skimpy little skirts that show everything they've got when they bend over. I do wear shorts and a tank-top in the summer but only when it is really hot. I don't like showing off like that. I think if you wanna show off that way then go to some bar and dance.
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 6:21 pm
My ex step-daughter loves to show off what she has. She has a baby now who is almost a year old and she is not even 18 yet. But then her dad never said "that's to short" or "too revealing" to her. Why?? Because he wanted her to be happy! Rules are there so you can be happy. My daughter has never been allowed to dress like that. She's almost 20 and is sometimes more modest than I am. (That says a lot, too!)
The only time I want anything revealing is when I want MY man's attention. (And he knows what's on my mind anyway. eek ) I still don't reveal as much as other ladies.
I guess I grew up in the wrong century! wink
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:21 pm
I dress extreamly modestly for my school and area. The most skin I show is my legs when I put on work-out shorts and go running, and I only do this because I live in Florida and it is too hot here to wear pants while running. It really annoys me when girls in school wear revealing clothing. We are there to learn, not let guys oggle us.
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 6:05 pm
As for my own personal style, I suppose I do dress fairly modest. I cannot stand anything too short, unless I have my bloomers underneath nor can I stand things such as tank tops unless I have a jacket over myself. I feel completely naked otherwise. I, as most people, do not have enough money for brand name items in the lolita area of fashion but I wear a lot of clothing items that revolve around that and that fashion is quite modest in my opinion. My Grandfather called me an "Old Timer" recently because of my clothing. xd redface
To add and agree with some of the other people above, pajamas are not proper to wear out anywhere. I admit that I had worn my pajamas out once, not because I was lazy but because I thought it was "cool". That was a very shallow thing to do, never do what others do just because you think it is "cool". confused It is as if you are saying "I am too lazy to do anything." or "I care nothing about my life nor my personal appearance." when you wear things such as that out somewhere though.
As for other clothing, I personally feel that if you enjoy something you should wear it no matter what other people think, that you should be yourself, but I also feel that people should not complain when they have been raped, misjudged, considered a whore, etc. while wearing immodest clothing, if that is their choice of clothes. I also feel that if people would learn to dress a bit more proper then maybe a lot of marriages would last longer.
As some have said here though, there is a time and place for everything. Such as, when you go to church, please wear something modest, even if your fashion is not that modest. I have seen people attend church with things hanging out that really should not be seen anywhere, especially church. gonk
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:28 pm
Ahhh....
I have been on both sides of the argument...
Whilst younger, I was a *ahem* burlesque dancer. I was expected to wear revealing clothing as it was more akin to advertising for my profession. Yes, attention galore! Men wanted to talk to me about anything - and most times, they just wanted to "be seen" with a beautiful woman by their friends - nothing more. Women would glare at me - some because they felt I was too revealing, others because they wanted to look like me. I had a very hard time with my female friends, and even lost some just because of the clothes I wore...
As I got into professional advertising and marketing, I left the ultra-mini skirts and bandana- tops behind for straight pencil shirts and button up silk blouses. I was, as some call it, very "well put together". I kept up with the fashions (for I was working on fashion magazines), but toned it down with waist jackets and blazers. I got less "direct" attention - and more professionalized and relevant attention. Men gravitated to me for I exhumed "power and knowledge" while still exalting in my female curves and form. I still had a hard time with other women though, for they felt ever-more-so threatened by the "arrogance" of my attire.
Now, I work more behind the scenes - so I don't need to wear the power suits anymore. I've migrated into computer and ecommerce programming, and now wear only jeans, sweatpants, sweatshirts and sweaters for the room I work in is climate controlled and I hate air conditioning.
Surprisingly - no one talks to me. Guys and gals avoid me like the plague.
I sometimes wonder if I dig out my power-suits and wear them to work, if people will suddenly start paying attention to me again...
nah... i need to be left alone to complete my software development.
Conclusion I've known for a very long time the power of fashion - what it can and cannot do for a person. Women especially have more variety in how they look as their fashions are more widespread. I've taken the SAME skirt, worn in different ways for varying effect. Its a joy and a challenge to see how I can alter my wardrobe for a specific event or if I want to portray a certain mood. Lately, I admit to being depressed, and people around me know it for I am wearing nothing but sweats...
Men, as a female I pay more attention to the man wearing collars and pressed slacks then I do the ones wearing baggies and chains to their knees.
A book's cover really does reveal alot about the story. ^.^
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