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From our daily paper: (No kidding)

The Police Department reports for Monday included the following:

* Police found a man who did not have a belt and had a hard time keeping his pants up in the median near the Seventh Avenue exit of Interstate 90 around 8 a.m.

* A man walking on Evergreen Drive was stopped at 8:16 a.m. because his pants were falling off.

* Two officers were sprayed by a skunk as they released it from a rabbit trap on Chambers Drive at 9:54 a.m.

* A man reported that a mattress he bought at a yard sale but decided he didn’t want was thrown into his front yard on West Peach Street at 2:40 p.m. by the man from whom he purchased it.

* A woman reportedly in her 50s flipped off and cursed at officers when they tried to help her at 8:48 p.m. She was wandering around in traffic on East Peach Street talking into a mirror.

The County Sheriff’s Office reports for Monday included the following:

* Deputies spoke with a man around 2 a.m. who was camping near the Interstate 90 off ramp in hopes of getting a ride. He decided to speak with some drivers at a nearby truck stop to see about a ride.

* A vacant home on Solitude Lane was broken into and the cabinets searched sometime before 10 a.m. but it is unclear if anything was taken.

* A motorist on Interstate 90 was concerned that a Ron Paul banner hanging by wire from a cliff was going to fall onto the highway and cause an accident.

* Around 2 p.m., a man reported that he found his mailbox on New Ventures Drive blown up and suspected that his sister’s son had been involved. His sister, also his neighbor, and he have been involved in a feud for 28 years. Deputies spoke with two juveniles who denied any involvement with the mailbox incident.

* A man called the Sheriff’s Department for assistance around 10 p.m. while he chased down and captured two horses that were running loose along Arizona Street, the railroad tracks and Interstate 90.

The Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

* Two kids were camping by a lake on private property on Graf Street at 7:17 a.m.

* A vehicle blocking traffic on South Church Avenue belonged to people moving a hot tub at 11:35 a.m.

* Two couches were abandoned in a yard on West Koch Street sometime before 5:45 p.m.

The County Sheriff’s Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* Three people sitting in a car in front of a business on Valley Commons Drive told a deputy they were waiting for a friend at 1:10 a.m. All three were too intoxicated to drive. They were warned and told to walk home.

* Residents of Violet Road said there were strange noises that could have been a wounded animal coming from their backyard at 3:40 a.m. Deputies found nothing.

* The Sheriff’s Office is investigating a burglary after responding to an alarm at a business on Front Street in Logan at 5:30 a.m. Upon arrival, deputies found the front plate-glass window broken and items from the business on the ground outside.

* A man was cited for having an open container of alcohol after he was reportedly throwing things at a resident’s window on Michael Grove Avenue and screaming, cursing and talking about the Irish at 2:05 a.m.

I'm not really sure why I found this so funny, but I laughed really hard at this.

i kid you not, people read the police reports from our local newpaper before they even go to the comics section for a good belly laugh

****Nienna and I are roomies, so yes we have the same local newspaper blaugh

The Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

* Children who were playing with flashlights in a vehicle parked on West Mendenhall Street at 1:12 a.m. were told by police that they were out way past their curfew and to go home.

* Police gave an intoxicated man a ride home after he was reported to be falling over on West Peach Street falling at 3:35 a.m.

* A rock was thrown through a window of a business on North Rouse Avenue sometime overnight.

* * Firewood was stolen from in front of a residence on West Harrison Street sometime before 8:45 a.m.

* Two rings valued at over $9,000 were reported stolen from a business on South Wallace Avenue at 9:19 a.m.

* A woman reported seeing a yellow snake, which she thought could be a rattlesnake, cross the road on South Ferguson Avenue at 4:26 p.m.

* Police were unable to locate a man reportedly looking at people through binoculars at the East Gallatin Recreation Area at 6:31 p.m.

* A 13-year-old girl of West Dickerson Street called 9-1-1 at 7:06 p.m. after she got in trouble and had to “write sentences.” The girl said she’d rather go to jail than write the sentences.

* A man’s fly rod was stolen at a car wash on South 23rd Avenue while he was washing his vehicle there at 9:42 p.m.

The County Sheriff’s Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* A caller who lives on the Frontage Road spoke with a deputy at 9:48 a.m. about his mailbox that is continually being damaged and is in an unsafe location because of traffic. The deputy said the man should speak with the state road department and postmaster about relocating the mailbox.

* A man reported at 1:13 p.m. that he had been shot at twice last Friday night near Amsterdam Road but did not file a report at that time.

* A caller reported at 4:01 p.m. hearing at least 50 gunshots coming from the area of the Erwin Bridge Fishing Access.

* A suspicious man was found at 4:36 p.m. on Hyalite View Drive in Bozeman writing on highways and public roads with chalk to slow drivers down.

* A woman reported at 12:27 a.m. waking up to the sound of scurrying at her home on Sitting Bull Road in Big Sky and noticed her sliding door and screen door were open. Deputies found nobody else in the residence.

The Police Department reports for Monday included the following:

* A man who flagged down an officer on North Grand Avenue at 12:25 a.m. ran away when the officer stopped. He was found hiding in bushes. He was intoxicated but there was no warrant for his arrest.

* A 28-year-old Forks, Wash., man was arrested after he reportedly knocked over a pool table at a West Main Street bar and started fighting with bouncers at 1:24 a.m.

* A report that a truck was emptying oil onto West Beall Street at 11:57 a.m. was unfounded.

* * A man reported that an assailant knocked him off his bicycle and cut his hand with a knife on West Main Street at 1:08 p.m. The victim knew his attacker only by a nickname. Police were unable to find the suspect.

* A 10-year-old girl was punched and kicked several times by a boy at a school on North Fifth Avenue at 4:45 p.m.

The County Sheriff’s Office reports for Monday included the following:

* Deputies assisted police to search for a possible prowler on Colorado Street at 1 a.m. after a woman reported that someone tried to get in through her garage or backdoor.

* A woman who lives on Launfal Lane told police at 12:36 p.m. her male roommate was harassing her and that he previously stole her house, car and room keys.

* A resident of L Street in Bozeman said at 1:18 p.m. that he loaned his vehicle to a friend and hasn’t heard from him “in quite awhile.” Deputies placed his truck in an attempt to locate list for possible theft.

You'd think a Monday would disappoint (not here):

The Police Department reports for Sunday included the following:

* A man said his neighbors were smoking something on their back porch and it was not tobacco. He believed it was marijuana.

* Two women were warned for fighting in the parking lot of a bar in the Barmuda Triangle at around 2:30 a.m.

* * A unicycle was found in an aspen grove on North Fourth Avenue and turned into police.

* There was a chicken in front of a building on East Main Street around 8 p.m.

The County Sheriff’s Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* Around 1:30 a.m., a caller said a wedding across from her home on Norris Road was too loud and “she just wants sleep.”

* A man said someone was shooting at him from a residence near Dry Creek School Road around noon.

* A tire rim was stolen off a horse trailer while it was parked on Tag Along Road.

* A caller said he was “tired of dealing with his neighbor’s loud remote-control car” and wanted to know what his options were.

* A man was walking along the interstate around 10:30 p.m. with his hands in the air.

The University Police reports for Sunday included the following:

* A woman reported that a group of women took her towel while she was in the shower in Johnstone Hall.

Why didn't the bear just climb the tree? Or have the hunters shoot it?