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 Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 7:01 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:20 pm
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Okay here is something I wrote about a month ago, I consider it a RAW version because it is unedited and unaccurate so I can here advice before I finish it up. Okay here it is! Be nice! ^^"
"The azure of his carmel and orange hair, slicked back gently and dampened by the downpour, his creamy skin nourished by his ivory grin, that held me completely captived. His charm and troubled features, a never fading memory, held fast in his liquid hues of a soft bark. The fragrance of his skin was of a soft sea breeze, swiftly expanding with a movement of his perfect and beautiful features, as he chuckled teasingly, and the way he looked at me, insituating something I was baffled of leaning into to place his lips to my ear in a sweet weight, the feeling touching upon the urgency of his words as he spoke the soft edges of his lips seductivly curving upward, entiwinging my amazed gaze in his tangled yet elegent thoughts, 'Everyone has a power, you just do not know of it...' and with a caress of his silver tounge against the curve of his bottom lip hinted his departure and he was gone...with out any backward glances or regrets, left me alone in the pouring rain. Something about him, allowed me to think I was going to see him again. But, who was he?"
What I adore in a novel is the character, genre, the theme and the fact if the story can keep me interested.
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:26 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:33 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:48 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:00 pm
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Full story below.
Soran walked down the path, his father’s sword in his belt and an owl on his shoulder. He had his water pail with him and he was headed towards the familiar stream. His father’s sword needed to be cleaned. He knelt by the water and filled the bucket. He saw his reflection; seven years had done a lot to him. He splashed some water on his face and headed back up the path to his hut, which had been his home since his family had been killed.
Halfway up the path he saw a girl against a tree. He had noticed her on his way down. Her eyes were tightly shut and her fists clenched. The necklace she wore…It couldn’t be. Memories came through his head. Flashes of his older sister in front of him, surrounded by a burning house, screaming, his family being destroyed around him, he shook them away from his head and picked up the girl and carried her to his house.
He had put her on his makeshift bed and had noticed a glowing beneath her shoulder. He cut away a piece of her white shirt to reveal a dragon, its wings spread wide and its head back. It appeared to be roaring. The mark appeared to be glowing. He gazed at for a while before he noticed the girl was calming down.
He asked, “Are you ok?” There was no answer. Her dark green eyes were wide as they met with his. He asked another question. “Who are you?” Again, no answer, she pointed at her heart and then to his. She had stood up and was still staring at him. His owl was perched on his shoulder, it hooted softly. He looked at the girl the stood up.
“Why won’t you talk?” It was more of a demand then a question. Memories of that night were flashing in his eyes. He punched the wall. There were marks on the wall; it had been clearly punched in the same spot before. He punched again, his knuckles becoming bloody.
“I should go…” The girl has said this softly. He opened the door for her and stepped back. She walked out the door and down the path to the stream. He had shut the door behind her.
The sun was setting, the owl had been sitting on a perch that Soran had carved for it, but it was out now, hunting for its meal. Soran was taking his shirt off to get ready for bed. He knew it was going to be another restless night, just as every night had been for the past seven years. He covered himself out of his roughly made blanket and looked out the window. There was smoke rising near the stream. “Damn campers…” He had turned over to face the wall and fell asleep.
The girl had put out the small fire she had made, and was now in a tree near the boy’s hut. She had seen images in her mind of a burning house, and a small boy. She knew who she was, but not why she was there. She heard shouting from the hut and saw the boy turning over in his sleep, shouting angrily.
She jumped down from the tree and landed gracefully on the path. The mark on her shoulder was still glowing. She had changed her eye color from dark green to brown. She walked into the cabin and wrapped her arms around the boy. She took seven deep breaths and stroked his back.
Soran had calmed down. The shouting had stopped and he was still. He did not awake. This had been the first night in seven years that he had slept peacefully.
The girl had gotten up and was sitting in a chair when she fell asleep. The gentle glow on her back shoulder was the only light in the house. The owl had flown back in and was sleeping silently on its perch in the corner.
He opened his eyes; the usual sound of the birds singing had awoken him. He saw the girl in the chair and pulled out his father’s sword. He silently pointed it at her chest. “Why are you back?”
The girl awoke, but was not surprised by the sword. “I heard you last night.” She was sitting up straight in the chair and was staring at his eyes.
“Oh…” He had lowered the sword and moved towards the wall. He punched the same spot and blood appeared on his knuckles. “I need to know why you are here… Why you look my sister, why, when I see you, you are wearing her necklace!” He had punched the wall again; blood was dripping to the floor.
She got up and walked to him. She took his hand in the two of hers and blew on the knuckles softly. The blood stopped flowing and the gashes healed. She backed away and looked at the floor.
“I knew you weren’t human when I carried you here…” He was looking out the window.
She got out a small knife and cut her finger open. The blood flowed slowly and was about to hit the ground when it became a picture. It was a moving picture. It was the night Soran’s family had died.
He looked at it then sat on the bed. “You know something. I can feel it.”
“I am Amayah. I am a reincarnation of your sister. An angel, if you would like to say. I do not know why I am here, but I see what you see. These memories of the night you say your family died. I am not the same person as your sister, I am merely her image.” She had said this slowly.
“My father’s sworn enemy killed my family…I have sworn to avenge them, yet I do not know who my father’s enemy is. You know, don’t you.” He looked at the picture her blood had made.
She took his hands in hers and closed her eyes. Images flooded her brain. She saw a man. The man was laughing maniacally and she saw a little boy, scared to death, behind his older sister. His sister was shouting. “Stay away!” There was a burning collapsing house around them. “Soran, RUN!” The little boy had fled into the forest and was headed up the mountain. The girl shouted a name; the name was of the man that was laughing. “Kenji!”
Amayah opened her eyes and said the name softly. “Kenji…” Hours had passed since she began to see what had happened. She and Soran were still sitting there, their hands held together.
“Kenji…I should have known…” The boy had gotten up. He grabbed his father’s sword and put it in his belt. He put a shirt on and whistled. The owl flew to his shoulder. They were leaving the house, headed for the small village.
The girl ran after them. Roughly and hour later they were standing outside a small house. It was dark and the town was quiet. Amayah grabbed Soran’s hand and whispered, “I am here.”
Soran nodded and slowly opened the door. They were inside a two room house. The bedroom door was slightly ajar and they entered. The owl was completely still and silent.
He went close to the bed and stood above the sleeping man. For a second there was a flash of fire in Soran’s eyes.
Amayah had made Soran’s sister’s sword appear in her hands. She was ready to fight if need be.
Soran raised his sword over his shoulders. He nodded slightly to the owl on his shoulder. The owl hooted softly and Kenji awoke. “You destroyed my family seven years ago…” The owl hooted again. “Now they shall be avenged…”
Kenji’s eyes were wide. Soran’s father’s sword glinted in the moonlight. He plunged it into the chest of his family’s killer. Kenji was gone.
Amayah let out a gasp and fell. Soran caught her and said slowly. “You are now at peace.” With that she let out one breath. The mark on her shoulder was gone and she had gone limp. Her sword was on the ground.
He carried his sister’s body to the hut, and began to dig a hole. He could feel her presence leaving. He looked into the sky and saw her eyes blink once and then disappear.
He wrapped her sister with her sword in some cloth and lowered it into the hole. He filled the hole back in with dirt and got a stone. He put the stone and the head of the grave. With his hands held above the surface of the stone he said to himself. “You are now at peace.” Flames appeared on the stone and were gone faster then they appeared. Deep marks had appeared.
He stood up and walked for seven steps. The owl was still on his shoulder when he turned around. He was gone. The hut was gone. Everything was gone. The only thing that remained was the grave.
Seven years later a small girl stumbled out of the village, covered in blood. There was a voice in the wind…”You are now at peace…” She smiled and then fell to the ground, completely still.
The voice died down and the air became still. The only sounds that night were heard from the forest. The glittering stream which shined shone like the sword had that night. The sound of owls hooting was the only thing louder than the stream. The stone was covered in the moss, but you could still read the markings. You are now at peace.
End.
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:12 am
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:44 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:11 pm
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