Forms of Respect
(There are still some mistakes!)
Here are a list of "pronouns" that can be used to refer to other people:
em
This word is used to refer to a younger brother or sister, younger child, or the female in a romantic relationship (husband to wife, boyfriend to girlfriend).
anh
This is used to refer to an older brother or to a male older than you, to at least ten to fifteen years' difference.
chị
This refers to an older sister or to a female older than you, to at least ten to fifteen years' difference.
con
This can be used for a parent to call their child, or to call a child that is much younger than you.
chú
This refers to either your father's younger brother, or to a man younger than your father.
cô
This refers to either your mother's younger sister, or to a woman younger than your mother.
bác
This refers to either your father's or mother's older brother or sister, or to a man or woman older than either your mother or father.
ông
This refers to a middle-aged married man. (Can also be grouped up with other words to mean "grandfather.")
bà
This refers to a middle-aged married woman. (Can also be grouped up with other words to mean "grandmother.")
In Vietnamese, it is not considered rude to ask someone for their age in order to find out the correct "pronoun" to use.
Also, if you are unsure about which pronoun to use, you may refer to yourself and the other speaker in third person. For example, let's say your name is John and the other person's name is James:
John: Hello. How is James?
James: James is good. How is John?
Although this may seem strange in English, this is quite accepted in the Vietnamese language.
Note: Some modern Vietnamese people will take offense if you use a pronoun that denotes them as very old. If they ask you to change your usage of pronoun, do so, or continue with the pronoun that you are currently using with caution.
